Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Contact Tuna by writing Send submissions to

Search by keywords:
In Association with
Use this search device to seek additional information from about any of the books or movies you read about here.

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

"Resident Evil"

Resident Evil (2002) was covered by Scoopy a few days ago, and you can read his views from the link below. How often to you visit a video arcade and watch someone play the same game for 104 minutes? Sounds stupid to me as well, but it has a real advantage over watching this film. You can watch the video game it is based on for free. A lot of money went into the special effects and CGI, but, with frequent use of close-up and frenetic action, it still had the look of a first person POV game display. As Scoopy mentioned, most of the main characters didn't even know who they were, we see early on that nothing we learn from the film is necessarily true, and there is a sameness to all of the action. The dialogue would be within the ability of an English as a second language preschooler, and the only message, if there is one, is that corporations are bad. I already got that message from the 10 o'clock news.

So what does that leave us with? Milla Jovovich. She shows breasts from the side in an early scene, then, near the end of the film, there is a much talked about scene where we get an extended look between her legs. I went through the scene, frame by frame, and have included several images of what I saw. Trouble is, I am not sure what I saw. It is clearly the right area for vulva, possibly pubic hair, and possibly a hint of labia, but I saw no anatomical detail in any scene, Barbie has more definition than I saw here. It is my suspicion that they did minor digital blurring, possibly to prevent an NC-17. Scoopy liked this one rather more than I did. As it was clearly not required of the script to make sense, they had room for infinite creativity, but managed none. To me, it is a slickly made piece of junk. It made me yearn for something much more exciting, like watching my hard drive defrag. C-

  • Thumbnails

  • Milla Jovovich (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)


    Roxanna (2002) is a remake of the Nick Phillips 1970 porno which featured Uschi Digard. Seduction Cinema produced this short film as a companion to the restored original, and starred Misty Mundae. The film differs from the original in many important ways. First, the original was quite explicit, and had lots of full frontal. This version has breast exposure only. There is no dialogue in the original, with only a narrator. This one has dialogue. The original was very stylized, and only hinted at what caused Roxanna's madness. Here, they added plot. In the original, Roxanna was hospitalized after a suicide attempt brought about by her inability to control her sex drive. Here, she is hospitalized after her boyfriend commits suicide. In the original, they cut to shots of a naked Roxanna in her cell at the insane asylum. In this one, she is fully dressed.

    The director did preserve, to some degree, the opening credits sequence, where we see different views of an obviously disturbed Roxanna. The plot in this one is not without interest. Roxanna's boyfriend has gotten her hooked on coke, and persuades her to have sex with another woman. She loves it. He can't stand the competition, and kills himself. Nearly every frame has Mundae. We see her in bed with the boyfriend, clearly bored with the sex, having sex with Katie Jordan, a fantasy where she has sex with her shrink, Barbara Joyce, a scene where she exchanges sex for coke with Darian Caine, and a sex scene with Lora Renee. All five women show breasts. What will be of more interest to some readers is that there is a lot of good lesbian kissing in this film. Someone recently reminded me that girl/girl kissing is a VERY hot image for many people.

    The film was shot on digital video in two days, which was double the intended shooting schedule.It runs a scant 51 minutes, but that is long enough given the content. Mundae proves once again that she is at home doing girl/girl, and that she is a very good actress for the genre. Not enough have seen this for a rating at IMDB. The DVD is a bargain, with the two Roxanna versions. On it's own merits, this version is a soft soft-core, and a C-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Barbara Joyce (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Darian Caine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Katie Jordon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Lora Renee (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Misty Mundae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Celebrity Sleuth, number 20, continued

    Sleuth comments on his new numbering system that it is related to the scanning system, which requires each issue to have a distinct number. In other words, the computer code didn't differentiate between Vol. 13, No. 5 and Vol. 15, No. 5, which was a hassle for record-keeping in certain ways which are essential to publishers.

    Here's a brief follow-up on yesterday's stuff

    • Neriah Davis - I missed this labia shot the first time through
    • Masuimi Max - I mentioned that she sets her crotch on fire in her act. Here are some pics.
    • Dede Lind - nice frontal from the 55 year old former Playmate, or Recreational Companion, as we like to call them.


    New Best Friend (2002)

    This movie - well, it isn't worth wasting any more words on, except three: Dominique Swain topless.


    Other crap


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by C2000:

    "Lucia y el Sexo" (Sex and Lucia)

    The latest film from Julio Medem, the director of such weird and wonderful stuff like The Red Squirrel and The Lovers of the Arctic Circle, is a tale of sex, love, honesty and much more. Lucia (Paz Vega) a Madrid waitress seeks solace in a remote sun kissed Mediterranean island when she believes her writer boyfriend, Lorenzo (Tristam Ulloa), is dead. While on the island she reminisces about her intense and passionate relationship with Lorenzo and contemplates the future. The island was a favourite hideaway of Lorenzo's and the story revolves around events, actual and fictional, that took place there. As suggested by the title most of the events and the female protagonists are connected by sex and it's consequences. In addition to his relationship with Lucia, Lorenzo had a single liaison in the sea with Elena (Najwa Nimri) that, unknown to him, resulted in the birth of daughter, Luna. Belen (Elena Anaya) is Luna's babysitter and she seduces Lorenzo who is unaware of her connection to Elena and his daughter. In another twist, Lucia rents a room from Elena when she returns to the island, again blissfully unaware of her encounter with Lorenzo. The story is very complex and at times unintelligible but the common themes of sex, passion and desire are all pervading.

    With sex as the main theme, a multitude of sex scenes, some explicit and frequently involving male and female full frontal nudity it is easy to dismiss this as soft-porn along the lines of Romance X, Intimacy and Baise-Moi. It would be very wrong to do so. Medem uses sex to tell the story rather than making it the story. The scenes are filmed with regard to the emotions and consequences involved. Of particular poignancy is the scene in which Belen masturbates by watching and re-enacting porn scenes performed by her mother. It is as if the director included an example of real porn in the movie to show how much it differs from the film.

    You will either fall in love with this it or loathe it as another example of pretentious European art house crap. I'm no great fan of art house films but loved this. At times the story is too convoluted to be comprehensible without a spider diagram, but the intense, erotically charged story, beautiful photography and soundtrack more than compensate. This film is sheer panacea for lovers of beautiful unadorned actresses. The film has so much nudity I lost count! It's proof that a film containing frequent sex and nudity doesn't have to degenerate into a skin flick.

    Paz Vega is nude in several sex scenes that are variously frivolous, sensual, passionate and explicit. She shows full frontal nudity at frequent intervals including an extended scene on the beach, in the shower, around the house and during a mischievous and erotic striptease for Lorenzo. It's impossible not to fall in love with this girl who will usurp Penelope Cruz if she ever makes it to Hollywood. Elena Anaya shows full frontal nudity several times including the masturbation scene, in the shower and bath, and in a sex scene. Najwa Nimri is briefly topless fondling her breasts and may have a nude sex scene in the sea (not certain of the id).

    The official site contains some great clips including a dvd-quality clip of the striptease.

    • Paz Vega (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "The Believer"

    Danny Balint is a New York neo-nazi with a deep hatred of Jews and takes pride in stalking the streets with his gang of stupid skinheads and desecrating synagogues. Danny Balint is a Jew who studies the torah and displays a keen interest in the writing and teaching of his religion. The film, based on the true story of New York KKK member Daniel Burros, by writer/director Henry Bean captures the physical violence against Jews and the inner violence resulting from this seemingly impossible contradiction.

    When he's not engaging in mindless violence on the streets and desecrating synagogues Danny explores the intellectual neo-nazi movement, led by Curtis Zampf (Billy Zane) and Lina Moebius (Theresa Russell). He finds the movement to be ineffectual, afraid of engaging in anti-Semitism and intellectually his inferior. Only Carla (Summer Phoenix), Lina's attractive and intelligent daughter, maintains her interest. Carla's blasť attitude to the hatred around her is the perfect foil for the rage boiling up inside Danny.

    As the film moves on Danny finds himself in an unsuccessful battle to conquer the Jewishness swelling up inside him. The moment when his Jewishness overtakes his hatred of it is superbly captured in a scene involving the torah that he rescued from the desecrated synagogue and lovingly restored. The scene is investigated in detail in the featurette on the DVD. The origin of Danny's anger against the Jews is represented in flashbacks. He was a precocious yeshiva student who questioned the orthodox teaching but was swatted down by the Rabbi. His intolerance resulted from the intolerance of the Jewish religion to tolerate any challenges to the existing teachings. His present hatred of the Jews is for their willingness to be seen as victims rather than fighting back. This is graphically demonstrated as Danny is supplanted into the recollections of a holocaust survivor first as a Nazi solider and then as the Jewish man. This is one of the most powerful sequences in the film capturing as it did the contradiction that exists inside Danny.

    This film is a rarity. It tackles provocative and incendiary material, addresses sensitive political and moral issues while steadfastly refraining from making any political or moral pronouncements. The viewer is never required to pass judgement on Danny merely invited to witness the exploration of his psyche. The film didn't get a proper theatrical release in the US and is unlikely to do so. I didn't find the material disturbing but the Danny's character was frightening. It is refreshing to think of racists as pea-brained skinheads like the members of Danny's gang. Danny on the other hand had considered, rational (to him if not most people) reasons for his hatred of Jews and was capable of articulating it in a concise persuasive manner.

    The acting by Ryan Gosling is outstanding and he is well supported by Summer Phoenix. The film won the Grand Jury Prize at Sundance and Bean, Gosling and Phoenix all picked up Independent Spirit Awards.

    Summer Phoenix is topless having sex with Billy Zane and shows her left breast.

    • Summer Phoenix (1, 2, 3, 4)

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Some very early exposure by Sharon Kelly (later 1980s hardcore porn star Colleen Brennan) in her first two x-rated soft-porn movies.

    In "Teenage Bride" (1970) there is no teenage bride and nobody gets married, just alot of sex with Sharon and company.

    In "The Dirty Mind of Young Sally" (1970) Sharon plays a disc jockey on a mobile pirate radio station whose outrageous antics includes having screaming live sex on the air (Howard Stern must have learned some pointers from this movie).

    FYI Sharon Kelly is a large-busted flaming-redhead with a matching red muff and creamy white alabaster skin with hundreds of freckles.

    Both videos are distributed by Something Weird Video and can be ordered from (sorry, Amazon does not carry these titles).

    Nudity report: unsimulated sex with visibly excited male co-stars, extreme gyno-cam closeups of her red muff.

    • Sharon Kelly in "Teenage Bride" (1, 2, 3)

    • Sharon Kelly in "The Dirty Mind of Young Sally" (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we continue our look at "Forbidden" with Renee Rea and Tracy Ryan.

    First up it's Renee doing a little topless sunbathing. She is joined by Tracy who is also topless.

    Then we move on to Tracy topless and showing that she has no pubes as she does her husband's best friend.

    Heather Hunter
    (1, 2)

    Chasey Lain and Jill Kelly
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Milla Jovovich
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Rosario Dawson
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The ladies (and toplessness) of the Spike Lee movie "He Got Game".

    Angelina Jolie
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    BFD has put together a few collages of Jolie nudity. Links 1-3 are from "Gia", and links 4-6 are from "Original Sin".

    Femke Lakerveld
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Rifka Lodeizen

    Dieuwertje Blok

    'Caps and comments by The Night:
    T bought this Dutch dvd calles "De Boekverfilming" aka Based on the Novel, and was greatly suprized by the nudity on it :)

    Femke was project 1 for this reason...she's one hell of a great looking woman and all measurements are perfect. Hopefully we'll see more of her in the near future.

    Quality of the dvd however sucked bigtime.