is a large zip file with five avis of Kerry Fox in
Intimacy. The film is most famous for the scene in which Kerry, a
familiar mainstream actress in the UK, sipped the love-Slurpee on
camera in real time. We were not impressed with the movie, but
admitted it was pretty hot porn for a couple of boring British
actors.! Tuna wrote the Movie
Dipping our bucket once more into
the Well of
Obscurity, we came up with Candice Bergen
in a Wertmueller movie with a typically concise name, The End of
the World in Our Usual Bed in a Night Full of Rain. It's Candice
Bergen's only topless scene, and it's not available on DVD. Director
Lina Wertmueller is often mentioned in discussions of the greatest female director of
all time, and she was the first woman ever to be nominated for a Best
Director Oscar. Her movies are now coming out on DVD, so even though
this one is not on the schedule, we can reasonably hope it will not be
far off. This is a
.avi from a VHS tape. Sample collage below:
I've never seen Rolling Kansas, but this silly clip (zipped
.avi) with a topless Mia Zottoli has sorta piqued my interest.
It was written and directed by the guy who played Lowell on Wings!
IMDb says: "An independent film about a road trip to find a
magical forest of marijuana."
Time to pay the Pfeiffer:
I have not thought this through, but off the top of
my head, I'd wager that the biggest disappointment of the DVD era has
to be the loss of Kelly McGillis's open leg shot in Cat Chaser.
Running a close second is the loss of this great shot of Michelle
Pfeiffer's gorgeous tushy in Into the Night. Unlike Cat Chaser, Into
the Night has not been censored. It just so happens that Michelle's
booty just gets cut off in the theatrical widescreen framing, and the
DVD has no full screen version. Our loss. Here are some blown-up VHS
frames to show you what we missed:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Hussy, a British film, is listed at IMDb as a drama, but I would say it's
more of an offbeat romantic comedy. The couple consists of a nightclub hooker
(Helen Mirren), and a widow-turned-limo-driver (John Shea). At any rate, Shea
meets her at the club, and is immediately smitten. He manages to woo her, but
has trouble looking the other way at her "job." He does get along fine with
her young son, of whom she does not have custody. When her ex is released from
either jail or a mental hospital for the criminally insane, life gets more
interesting. Shea gets involved in a drug buy to raise cash so the two of them
can take the kid, leave the country, and live happily ever after. Naturally,
it isn't quite that simple.
The performances were, as you would expect, fine, especially from Dame
Helen Mirren, but I could never really relate to the characters in this film.
Mirren supposedly lost custody of her son because of her job, but had to turn
tricks to pay her lawyer for the custody hearing. Shea had lost his wife, and
gone downhill. I suppose it was supposed to be touching that they both found
redemption in each other's arms, but I just never could invest any emotional
energy in their plights.
With her recent nude appearances, it is nice to see Mirren at a younger
age. Oddly, there are no online reviews available for this film. You would
think that a film featuring a two-time Oscar nominee completely naked at age
35 would attract at least somebody.
IMDb readers, all 40 of them, have this at 4.5.
Helen Mirren does full
frontal and rear nudity in a dark bedroom scene, and full frontal in a
Scoop's thoughts. Maybe the full-frame VHS version had a little better take
on the bath scene. Here's the zipped
film clip, and here's a collage (I re-cropped the frames to resemble
Pat's comments in yellow...
Kiss Monopoly money goodbye: Parker
Brothers has struck a deal with Visa to create a new cashless version of the
board game. Players will get mock debit cards and stick them into an electronic
banking machine to keep track of their money. A spokesman said the game
reflects changing times, with a recent poll showing that 70 percent of people
use cash less than they did a decade ago.
* And you no longer have to Go Directly To Jail; you can
just wear an electronic monitoring bracelet.
People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals is calling on the Illinois attorney
general to open a criminal investigation after the draining of Leclaire Lake to
reduce erosion resulted in the death of 20 carp. Park officials said they sent
a charge into the water to stun the fish and relocated all the ones they could
find, but missed 20 carp, which are bottom feeders that aren't even supposed to
be in that lake. PETA claims the carp deaths violate the state animal cruelty
law which says nobody may "beat, cruelly treat, torment, starve, overwork or
otherwise abuse any animal." The attorney general was out and unavailable for
* He'd put up a sign that read, "Gone Fishin'."
* To PETA, the Axis of Evil is Mrs. Paul, Long John Silver and the Gordon's
Simon & Schuster is publishing an autobiographical novel, "The Expected One," by
Kathleen McGowan, an American mom of three who claims to be a descendant of
Jesus and Mary Magdalene
* Hey, how else could she feed three
kids on a can of tuna and two slices of
* She's already performed one miracle:
getting Simon & Schuster to buy this.