Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Mata Hari (1985)

Another legendary skin-fest has finally come to Region 1 DVD.

Sylvia Kristel, the original screen Emmanuelle, was nearing the end of her prime softcore days when she starred in this film, and she was either out of shape or pregnant. The director made a special effort to shoot her in soft focus, behind gauze, in fog, through vaseline, through dark filters, and every other trick he could think of to maintain the illusion of youthful beauty. For the most part, it worked, although you will destroy the illusion if you scrutinize the images too meticulously. If you study the close-ups, you can see that she looks older than they want you to think. If you look at the middle of her body, you'll see saddlebags and a bulging tummy. If you just go with the flow, however, it will seem like 1974 all over again.

In fact, the entire concept of this film is early 70s. The idea of using a historical person, legend, or epic as the basic for a softcore sex film was all in vogue back in those days. There was the Long Swift Sword of Siegfried, The Undercover Scandals of Henry VIII, The Ribald Tales of Robin Hood, The Erotic Adventures of Zorro, and probably many more that I'm forgetting. As a historical softcore, Mata Hari would fit right in. It isn't really fair to compare Mata Hari with those films, however. They are basically low-budget cheesefests played mostly for laughs and sex. Mata Hari is, astoundingly enough, a serious biopic of the famous alleged double agent, complete with slit throats and grisly World War One battle wounds. Somebody went to a lot of trouble to assemble old-time trains, armaments, uniforms, costumes, trench warfare, and vehicles in an effort to incorporate some period detail. I don't know whether the period artifacts are authentic (some of those 1914 cars looked to me like they were from a much later era, but I'm no expert), but the general look and feel of the film evokes an era circa WW1, at least to this casual observer. So let's give the director credit for what he accomplished.

One thing the director couldn't create was the feel of the specific European locales. There just wasn't enough money. In fact, if you pay attention to this film, you'll get the feeling that Europe had a single unified culture in 1914, and that all European cities look exactly alike. The story begins in the streets of Paris (Budapest with French signs), moves to Berlin (Budapest with German signs), and thence to Madrid (Budapest with Spanish signs). In fact, some of the same landmarks in Buda were visible in more than one city! Oh, well. I guess the point is that it looked all old-timey and European, with lots of buildings painted mustard yellow, so that worked OK, and the Indonesian dance number looks quiet exotic, whether or not it is authentic. All in all, I give the director credit for the ol' college try. He did what he good to create the right atmosphere, he found some great locales, he worked around Kristel's physical appearance, and in general he did as much as he could have done with the money he had to work with.

Unfortunately, the director couldn't do much with the main thing that the film got wrong: the leading lady. Because of her inappropriate physical appearance, she was not an especially good choice for a sex film, but the entire film was made to capitalize on her international popularity as a softcore legend. Of course, she was at least passable as the star of the international cut, which showed off her breasts as often as possible, simply because she was Sylvia Kristel and she was undressed. Unfortunately, the film was shown in the United States with the nude love scenes cut out, a disastrous circumstance that forced American audiences to evaluate the film as a legitimate historical drama, and to evaluate Kristel as a legitimate actress. In other words, watching the American version of Mata Hari was like watching Brigadoon without the music. There was simply no reason to release the film in the United States with all those scenes cut out of the picture. It can't pass as an art film or a historical epic, mostly because there is just no way any director can get a credible performance from Sylvia. Her biographies always make much of her high I.Q. and her fluency in several languages, but the stark reality is that she could never bring any of that alleged intellect into her acting abilities, and if she speaks English fluently it is not apparent in this English language performance. She always appears to be lifeless, nearly stunned, pronouncing all her lines as if they had been memorized phonetically without understanding them.

On the other hand, let's celebrate her for her participation in the one truly memorable thing in this film: a topless swordfight. Now that's entertainment!

After watching the film, I felt that the plot was sort of confusing and lacked specificity. I could never tell precisely who the hell Mata Hari's allegiance belonged to, and I couldn't really understand the significance of what the various sides were asking her to do. I reconsidered the significance of that opinion once I started reading about the real Mata Hari. Although she traveled throughout Europe and was intimate with important men on both sides of the conflict, there is really no evidence to show that she ever turned anything of value over to anyone, and historians have reached no conclusions about where her true loyalties lay. Although the French convicted her of espionage and executed her as a wartime spy, the facts of the case are just as murky and obscure as portrayed in the film. I suppose it is always possible to stray far from the truth and thus create a romantic yarn, but there just wasn't much more to do with the unembellished facts. The legend of Mata Hari sounds like it would be a great subject for a film, but the fact of the matter is that the legend is not really justified by what we know about her, and the real story of Mata Hari is one of an entertainer traveling through Europe, sleeping with important men, and therefore asked by the men on one side what the men on the other side were doing. That's about it, and that's about what the film showed.

Sylvia Kristel  (no pubes, only fleeting looks at her bum, and never full-on. Mostly just breasts.
Unknowns. (all body parts, male and female)


Words and pictures from Hankster:
Well I guess you would have to say today is an all "Babes in Bondage" day as we take a look at "Shallow Ground" (2005). Scoop has reviewed this one so we will skip the details and just get to the caps. (Scoop's note: It is a low budget horror movie with weak acting and poor production values. And I liked it!!! Go figure.)
Needless to say both Tara Killian and Natalie Avital are both in bondage as they are suspended in the woods wearing only their panties. Rather graphic stuff for a mainstream movie. The final cap is Christine Boutros laying naked in the woods after being abducted.
Tara Killian:


Natalie Avital:


Christine Boutros:


Words and pictures from Striplight:

You will love these. Maybe I should have held this one back till last, of the set I have it may be the best.

 A couple of puppets are put away for the evening; the puppeteer heads off to bed. Well,  you can’t fault him, he’s not to know the moment his back’s turned the puppets are going to strip off and have a bit of a dance around. He probably doesn’t even know that the lady puppet is bloody gorgeous. 

And she is.

 More to follow…

Scoop's note: As perhaps the world's foremost and least-respected connoisseur of puppet sex and nudity, I approve heartily.

Alwien Tulner:

The Crimson Ghost

Porn star Chloe (real name Chloe Hoffman), from an episode of The Best Sex Ever (2002 or 2003)

Some of Chloe's hundreds of IMDb credits:

  1. Catsnatch (2003) (V)
  2. Six Degrees of Penetration (2003) (V)
  3. The Ozporns (2002) (V)
  4. Poon Raider (2001) (V)
  5. A Cum Sucking Whore Named Tricia Deveraux (2000) (V)
  6. Thighs Wide Open (2000) (V) .... Nikki Young
  7. Stop! My Ass Is On Fire! 2 (1999) (V)
  8. Bawdy and Soul (1998) (V)
  9. Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio 11 (1998) (V)
  10. Funny Boned (1998) (V)
  11. Shut Up and Blow Me! 4 (1998) (V)
  12. Butt Banged Naughty Nurses (1997) (V)
  13. Cream On (1997) (V)
  14. The Young and the Anal (1995) (V)

Herr Haut

  Une Journee de Merde! (1999)
Anne Brochet

Les Sens Des Affaires (2000)

Claire Keim


There is no doubt that Diane Lane has aged, but she surely has aged well, which is all that any of us can hope for. Here she is on Leno last week.
What? Now I have to learn how to spell Natalie Bassingthwaighte? I'm still working on Matthew McConawhatever. Here is the long-surnamed babe in a bikini on Neighbours.
The girls of  "Corpses" (2004) . Tiffany Shepis, Lorielle New, Melinda Bonini. This flick stars one of our all-time Fun House faves, Jeff Fahey.
Holly Marie Combs in "A Reason to Believe" (1995)
Charlize Theron in "Head in the Clouds" (2004)
Markie Post in a sexy bikini pose. How cool is that?


Mena Suvari (Remember her? The fantasy cheerleader from American Beauty.) Mena is caught by the paparazzi in a very skimpy bikini of her own
Lucy Becker a TV starlet in the UK is caught without the top half of her own bikini. And this lady can really fill one of those out! Her double ds seem to be the real deal.
More paparazzi. Here is the picture of Charlotte Church that you read about in The Sun
More paparazzi action. Pink. Front view.
More paparazzi action. Pink. Rear view.
More paparazzi action. This isn't new, but a pre-pregnancy breast from Jennifer Garner is welcome nostalgia.

Big Brother #6 - UK

This would be "Makosi"


Caps and comments by Dann:

You may have trouble recognizing then-18-year-old Melanie Griffith in Night Moves, a 1975 thriller, but it is her....pretty much all of her, in fact.

She plays a runaway teenager who has run off from a really nasty mother, an aging actress with a rotten attitude, to live with her stepfather. Momma inherits a ton as long as daughter stays with her, so she hires a loser private detective to bring daughter home. Things don't go as planned, as the P.I. gets way too personally involved.

This is a decent enough movie, although not terribly original. I also thought Gene Hackman as the detective seemed stiff and wooden. The main attraction to this movie was to see several soon-to-be-stars including Melanie and James Woods, another that you'll barely recognize. There are several other recognizable actors as well, so not withstanding some flaws, this is a worthwhile 70's film.

Jennifer Warren Melanie Griffith Susan Clark

Pat Reeder - The Comedy Wire

Pat's comments in yellow:

Fine French Whine - Sunday in Paris, Texan Lance Armstrong won a record seventh Tour de France, by a wide four minutes, 40 seconds.  Some French
commentators still refused to admit he's that good naturally and brought up old doping rumors, despite Armstrong's never failing a drug test.  They hinted that someday, the whole story will be known for sure -- though, of course, they hope the rumors aren't true.

*  The French should just give up...That should come naturally.
*  How can a country famous for wine have so many sour grapes?
*  They're particularly bitter because this time, just to make it interesting, he rode a tricycle.
*  They're just jealous because he has more testicles than they do.

T.G.I.M. - A survey by Self magazine found that Mondays aren't the worst day of the week, in one way, at least: 77 percent of women surveyed said Monday is the day they are most likely to have sex.  One explained that "Monday is a good day to fit it in before the week gets too chaotic."

*  This is especially true if they're sleeping with the boss.
*  They tell their husbands, "I can squeeze it in between dinner and 'CSI: Miami.'"
*  So if you're not having sex with your wife on Mondays, you might wonder who is.

Nail Me! - The survey also reveals other sex secrets of women.  For instance, 20 percent fantasize about sex while getting their nails done, while 41 percent daydream about sex while doing the laundry.

*  Mostly during the spin cycle...
*  My wife daydreams about doing the laundry while we're having sex...She also occasionally does her nails.

Not Merely Dead But Really Most Sincerely Dead - The Direct Marketing Association is launching a Deceased Do-Not-Call list to save bereaved families from having to tell telemarketers that the person they're calling is dead.  However, it will cost one dollar to remove dead people from phone, e-mail and direct mail lists.  The fee is for credit card verification and the cost of checking to make sure the people on the list are really dead.

*  They'll do that by calling them direct at home.
*  After that, they start calling your widow to sell her a membership in a dating service.
*  Better yet, tell them if they don't stop calling, you'll put THEM on the Deceased List.
*  It's almost worth getting on the Do-Not-Resuscitate list, if it'll get you onto the Do-Not-Call list.

Fingered A Second Time! - Felipe Rocha, who is serving time in Pelican Bay State Prison in California on a drug charge, is suing GA Food Services of
Florida after he chewed on a crunchy object in the cornbread in his frozen prison dinner and discovered it was a fingertip.  GA apologized, admitting a worker severed a finger and saying, "We're red-faced about it."  Not good enough: Rocha says he's a Buddhist and a vegetarian, he can no longer eat,
he's lost 15 pounds in two weeks, and he's still in counseling.

*  But he's making progress: yesterday, the counselor got him to nibble a ladyfinger.
*  15 pounds in two weeks?!  Kirstie Alley should eat a finger!
*  He can't keep any food down ever since he put a finger down his throat. 
*  For a guy who takes drugs and eats prison food, he sure is squeamish about what he puts in his body.
*  Technically, it was legal for the finger to be in cornbread because there was a corn on it.

Rosemary's Booby - A cabaret singer and his girlfriend in Palermo, Italy, were charged with fraud after they allegedly convinced a 47-year-old woman
that they were vampires.  They told her they would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she didn't buy pills from them to abort him at $3,600 (US) per pill.  By the time police uncovered the scam, she'd paid them over $60,000.
*  It worked, though!
*  She could've gotten the generic version of that pill for $1500.
*  They weren't really vampires, but they sure were bloodsuckers.
*  This is the most unbelievable thing I've ever heard!  A male cabaret singer has a GIRLFRIEND?!

Flooded With Crap - Organizers of a drive to help flood victims in Bacau County, Romania, say about 10 percent of their donations are completely useless.  They include formal dress clothing, makeup and high heels.  Charity workers say the flood victims can't use it, but they can't offend donors by refusing it, so they don't know what to do with it.

*  Send it to San Francisco, to help all the homeless drag queens.
*  High heels might come in handy in a flood, if they're high enough.
*  Wait, is it waterproof makeup?!
*  The flood victims could look like soaking wet heiresses, and the Paris Hilton look is very in.

And He Doesn't Have A Dog - Court TV reports that Douglas Kelly of Slidell, Florida, told police he'd gone out at 1 a.m. to buy dog food and was hit in
the head, robbed, stuffed in the trunk of his '94 Cadillac and driven around for two hours before he tripped the emergency latch and escaped.  But police wondered why he waited four hours to report this, then they discovered the car didn't have a trunk latch and the store didn't sell dog food.  Kelly admitted he'd blown his money at the Scuttlebutt strip club and was scared of his pregnant girlfriend's reaction.  He was fined $500 for making a false police report.

*  He begged them to put him under protective custody instead.
*  He told his girlfriend he was abducted by space aliens who robbed him of $500.
*  When his girlfriend found out, she scuttled HIS butt.
*  His girlfriend went out to buy dog food because that's all she feeds him now.
*  His girlfriend wasn't angry; just concerned that her baby's daddy is that stupid.

Coffee, Tea Or Meat? - Detroit-based Spirit Airlines has launched a marketing campaign to promote their planes' extra legroom.  The slogans include, "Want an extra six inches?...Admit it: Size DOES matter!...Bigger IS better!"  The ads also include a warning: "Enjoying an extra six inches for more than four hours does not require you to contact your doctor." There have been some complaints, but Spirit's head of marketing says the consumer response has been "fantastic."

*  But once they get on the plane, they somehow seem disappointed.
*  Other airlines only offer you nuts.
*  Of course, what matters in a plane is not whether they offer you an extra six inches, but whether the pilot can keep it up.

All Turner Prize Nominees - One of Europe's top arts events, the Avignon Theater Festival in France, is so bad this year, even French arts critics hated it.  Audiences booed shows ranging from a 15-minute film of ocean waves to a dance accompanied by unbearable electronic noise to a work in which actors placed mannequins of young girls in sexual postures on top of coffins.  Newspapers called it "purgatory;" vague, pretentious, lazy; "bloated by its own importance and of unfathomable tedium;" and an "artistic and moral disaster" with "a triumphant sense of masturbatory autism."  One ticketbuyer who walked out of a boring and baffling "theatre-dance-music-video" piece shouted at the actors, "What have you got against us?!"

*  Well, wouldn't you feel utter contempt for anyone who bought a ticket to that?
*  It was not only boring, baffling, lazy, bloated, pretentious garbage, but they already saw it all last year.
*  The only popular attraction was an apparent performance art installation called "concession stand."
*  On the bright side, one theater in Avignon cleaned up showing that penguin movie.

First One She's Seen Since The Bicentennial Party - The Daytona Beach News Journal reports that a 73-year-old woman in New Smyrna Beach, Florida, woke up Saturday to see a skinny nude man with a ponytail standing at the foot of her bed.  She screamed and he ran away.  The next morning, a 79-year-old woman woke up and nearly stepped on a naked man who ran off before police arrived.  Five similar incidents have occurred since 2001.  Neither woman saw his face; they only saw his bare butt.  The second woman said, "That is something I will never forget."

*  It's burned into her memory, like hot-cross buns.
*  She never imagined she'd regret getting her Lasik surgery.
*  Well, you don't see too many naked butts with a ponytail.
*  This is Florida: he'll keep breaking into bedrooms until he finds SOMEBODY under 70.

Take It Off! - Entertainment Weekly reports on how to have a hit song today: The Pussycat Dolls were a popular burlesque revue in L.A. with hot chicks flouncing to music in skimpy clothes.  Universal decided they could be turned into a girl group and released their song "Don't Cha."  That annoys Atlanta R&B singer Tori Alamaze, who put out the same song a few months ago.  It only reached #53, so she claims Universal dumped her and gave her song with a near-identical arrangement to "the Copycat Dolls." When sung by hot chicks in skimpy clothes with a big media push, it went to the top 10.

*  Don't Cha just hate that?
*  Next, Paris Hilton will take it to #1.
*  Tori Alamaze wishes she were sexy like them.
*  Why develop artists like Britney Spears when you can cut to the chase and just release records by actual strippers?

He's Leaving Her For Ann Coulter - Alina Look of Graz, Austria, divorced her husband Hannes after they had 12 children together when he shocked her
by announcing he was gay and leaving her for a man.  He reportedly told her that he got her pregnant 12 times just so she'd have "something to do."

*  ...while he was at the gym.
*  Actually, he turned gay so he could finally have sex without getting a kid out of it.

Next Time, Let Scarlet Go Topless - The weekend's big movie debut, Michael Bay's "The Island," bombed bigtime.  The $122 million action film about
clones made just $12.1 million.  On Saturday and Sunday, "March of the Penguins" made nearly twice as much per screen.  In fact, the penguins are on track to surpass Michael Moore's "Bowling for Columbine" as the second-highest grossing documentary ever.  Warners is already jumping on the penguinmania bandwagon by preparing a computer-animated cartoon about Emperor penguins called "Happy Feet."

*  They should call it "Cold Feet."
*  And CBS is planning a new sitcom: "Everybody Loves Penguins."
*  People must love documentaries that star fat, waddling creatures who smell like tuna.
*  They should've put a few penguins on that island.

(NOTE!  Why watch "The Island" when you could see "Parts: The Clonus Horror" on Mystery Science Theater?  Same movie, only with wisecracking
robots to make it amusing.)

Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


Other Crap

Comedienne JOAN RIVERS has launched a vicious attack on VICTORIA BECKHAM, labelling the former pop star an 'arrogant shrew'. Wow. How arrogant and shrewish would one have to be for Joan Rivers to notice? That's sort of like Michael Jackson noticing that someone is a little weird.

Actor-director Mel Gibson is well on his way to cornering a new niche market in Hollywood -- movies written in ancient languages. He's moving from Aramaic to Mayan for his next one.

Naked in New York.

Here's the trailer from the intriguingly named Mobsters and Mormons.

  • When forced by the FBI to rat out mob boss Angelo Marcello (Michael Kagan), Carmine "The Beans" Pasquale (Mark Decarlo, voice of Hugh Neutron on Jimmy Neutron) is a wanted man on the lam being hunted by hit man Little Nicky Cappuccio (Joe Maruzzo, The Sopranos). Taking along wife Gina (Jeanette Punich) and son Vincent (Clay Taylor), Carmine enters the federal witness relocation program and is given a new home and a new identity. Now known as The Cheeseman Family from Omaha, Nebraska, these former East Coast mobsters are relocated into the middle of a quiet, straight laced Mormon community in Utah where much to Carmine's frustration; he can't even find a decent cup of coffee let alone a horse track. Life in this small town becomes anything but ordinary once The Cheesemans move in. Many locals are weary, if not outright afraid of these rough around the edges outsiders, while others go annoyingly far out their way to try to embrace them. Despite the efforts of well meaning neighbor Michael Jaymes (Scott Christopher, The Best Two Years) to help Carmine feel welcome, Carmine can't help but wonder if being this much of a fish out of water -- is actually better than "sleeping with the fishes."

Here's a ten minute clip from Stealth, an action movie starring Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, and Josh Lucas.

Here is the full trailer for a sci-fi adventure named Zathura. Jon Favreau is the director; Tim Robbins is the star. The official blurb says:

  • In Columbia Pictures heart-racing sci-fi adventure "Zathura," two squabbling brothers are propelled into deepest, darkest space while playing a mysterious game they discovered in the basement of their old house. On their fantastic journey they are joined by a stranded astronaut and must survive meteor showers, hostile lizard-like aliens, a rocket-propelled robot run amok and an intergalactic spaceship battle. But their greatest peril lies ahead. For unless they finish the game and reach the planet Zathura, they are doomed to be trapped in outer space forever. "Zathura" is based on the best-selling book by the acclaimed children's writer Chris Van Allsburg ("The Polar Express," "Jumanji").

Watch the first ten minutes of Disney's Sky High (High School for Super Heroes)

SHUTTLE ASTRONAUTS TO EXPLORE CAPE CANAVERAL ... New Mission Would Not Require Liftoff, NASA Concedes

As per the Sun article, here is that picture of Charlotte Church's boobie

Corey Feldman mounts another comeback.

  • Lord knows I've spent enough ink making fun of Corey but, to be fair, he seems like a decent down-to-earth guy, and is more talented than a lot of people who have had much bigger careers.

"You've reached the suicide hotline. Our regular hours are ..." The "executive director of the Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center said only one in 10 callers could get through on the first try." I would not want to be the guy who checks the messages.

listen to bob dylan - 90 seconds of each song on the tribute album.

  • I listened to more than half of them. I liked Something Corporate's interpretation of Just Like A Woman, but I didn't like it as much as Richie Havens's. My opinion in general was that the artists stayed too close to the original sound of the Dylan version instead of bringing something new to it, as The Byrds, Havens, and Peter Paul and Mary have done. On the other hand, maybe that was the point.

"A source close to the production of Spider-Man 3 confirmed that the main villain played by Thomas Hayden Church will in fact be the Chameleon."

TV Guide Readers pick: Top Five Celebrity Meltdowns

Did you know ....? The supposed "urban legend" of alligators living in the New York sewers is not a legend at all ... "alligators really did thrive in the pipes during the 1930s." Actually, I'm not sure if alligators is the right word - they were similar-looking reptiles about two feet long, and they were exterminated in 1935. Nobody really knows where they came from.

Is Your Boss a Psychopath? "What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?" - C. Montgomery Burns

Singing comedian Steven Lynch tells kids how to be a super-hero, like "immigration dude." This guy has the 60s folk singer schtick down cold.

The legend of the Hawaiian goodluck sign

NBC has fallen and it can't get up. Last year was "like a colonic," said the head of the entertainment division.

... good-bye, my baby ... farewell, my ragtime frog ... WB fires Michigan Frog

Conan shares the best of Foreign Reality TV. This is a very funny segment. (E.g. - Ingmar Bergman's "Girls Gone Wild!"). Also, if you haven't seen it yet, check out the other link for Buddy Cops. Conan consistently has some of the best comedy writing on TV.

The trailer for Little Fish, an Aussie movie starring some of the biggest stars Down Under. It was shown at the Melbourne International Film Festival, but I haven't seen a U.S. release date. Here's the blurb:

  • "How do you learn to love again when the pain of the past won't let you go? When you're 32 with a troubled history and a doubtful future, it's a question that isn't so easy to answer. And for Tracy Heart (Cate Blanchett), it's a question she can no longer ignore. After four years of treading water and redeeming herself in the eyes of her hard-working single mother, she has set herself the humble goal of owning her own business. But the unexpected return of her ex-boyfriend Jonny (Dustin Nguyen), the criminal aspirations of her brother Ray (Martin Henderson) and the emotional draw of troubled family friend and ex-footy star Lionel Dawson (Hugo Weaving), creates friction for Tracy. Her dream soon becomes tangled with criminal boss, Bradley "The Jockey" Thompson (Sam Neill) with shattering consequences. As a result, Tracy's bond of trust with her mother Janelle (Noni Hazlehurst) is tested and she has to confront her fears to find happiness. A story about families. About lies. And about learning to love again."

"Why would anyone want to celebrate a day of fear and destruction that ended in a death?"

New Puppy Teaches Congress Important Lesson About Responsibility

Man Convicted in Diaz Topless Photos Case

Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan has joined the cast of a new comedy film The Cleaner. The Cleaner is about an amnesiac janitor (Cedric the alleged entertainer) who believes he is an undercover agent.

Bad Baby Names - they're not just for celebrities

Potential New Jersey legislation bans smoking in your own car.

  • What can ya say? New Jersey cops just have too much time on their hands since the state eliminated all serious crimes.
  • Traffic safety groups acknowledge that motorists already completely ignore the state's year-old law against using hand-held cell phones. I suppose between cell phones and cigarettes, New Jersey will have made pretty close to 100% of the state's drivers into criminals!
  • Personally, I support installing cameras in every single car so we can monitor this situation carefully. I will personally volunteer to watch Pam Anderson's car, cuz I figure something fun will happen there eventually. And if Hugh Grant is visiting, I'll watch his car as well.


Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap


Currently on disability. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is tuna@scoopy.com

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