Tuna wrote in last week with the following update:
"They are still trying to adjust my medication. My heart rate is stable, and
the trick is to reduce medications to get rid of my dizziness and fatigue
without having the heart rate climb. I will be on disability for some or all of
August, and they are contemplating a cardio-covert, and angiogram, a sleep
study, and who knows what else. I asked him outright if this was as good as it
gets. He said it was possible, but he hoped not."
If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is email@example.com
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
The most scholarly film historians agree
that there are two distinct types of films produced by John and Bo Derek:
Unfortunately, it is not clear which
category Tarzan belongs to.
There are three undisputed baths:
When the explorers find the "inland sea," Bo says, "I'm going to
take a bath." Ka-ching.
(2) When Bo is captured by the Evil Africans, she is
bathed by Evil African Women before they paint her white. (Because
to Africans, Bo Derek is just not white enough.)
(3) When Bo is rescued by Tarzan, she is bathed by Tarzan and a
chimp, who scrub off all the Evil White Paint. Interestingly, the
evil white paint seems to be edible, because the chimp seems to
think it tastes mahvelous. This raises a complex set of questions
about mankind's development in Africa. Did Evil Africans develop Evil
Edible White Paint first, or did they start with Evil Poisonous White
Paint, and later change in response to circumstances. Or did they start
with Good Edible White Paint, only changing to the Evil Brand Paint after
they themselves became evil? Or were they always evil? Or did the evil
paint itself make them evil?
These questions may never be answered because,
frankly, we can't even answer the bath question.
You see, in addition to the three
clearly identifiable baths, there is a scene in which Bo goes for a
skinny dip behind a boat in an African river. Is this just a
pleasure swim, or is she bathing? The script offers no clues, and I
fear we may never know for sure, despite the dozens of Ph.D.
dissertations written on the subject.
Despite Tuna's cynicism, I guess it is possible to argue that Tarzan, the Ape Man
is the greatest of all John and Bo's works. Many cogent arguments have
been advanced to support this assertion, the best of which are
summarized in the following list:
1. It stars the greatest actor to take a major
role in any of the four films - Richard Harris, when he was still in his acting
prime and still a major A-list star. (Tarzan was made the year before Harris
played King Arthur in Camelot.)
things don't go his way, Richard Harris curses the heavens and
shakes his fist at God. All right, I know that Richard Harris does
this in every role, but that's pretty high-falutin' stuff for a Bo
3. The final credits sequence - a romp
with Bo Derek, Tarzan, and an Orangutan - is actually very charming. In fact, as
Tuna noted, the Orangutan turned out to be a better actor than Richard Harris,
or at least a more subtle one.
4. It is rated highest of the four
films at IMDb.
5. It is the only one of the four films which was not scripted by John
Although Tarzan may indeed be the best of the four
films, I recommend Bolero if you want to watch one. Bolero
is completely fatuous, but you don't watch a Bo Derek movie to
deep existential truths. The crucial fact of the matter is that Bolero has
more explicit nudity from Bo, and the DVD is a beautiful transfer. The
Tarzan DVD is a bit grainy, and Bo never delivers a nice, clear,
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Well the price of fuel went down here a little this week so we filled up the old Time Machine and went back to 1983 for a
Spanish horror flick called "Panic Beats". It's a Paul Naschy movie written, directed and starring this horror legend whose real name is Jacinto Molina.
Now of course the real reason for these caps is for the gobs of nudity that Mr. Naschy usually manages to get into his movies. We have three women in this one who get totally naked and show it all. Don't pass it by because they are all worth a look.
First up is Carol Kirkham who is being chased and murdered before the opening credits even roll. Rather bloody this scene but she is stark naked.
Next in my opinion is the real reason to see these caps Paquita Ondiviela. This young lady is drop dead gorgeous with nice natural tits and a fine looking bush.The bedroom scene where she drops her robe is awesome.
Last but not least today we have our final babe, Silvia Miro and of course she too shows it all and has a very nice body.
|New in theaters! Here are the assorted nekkid babes from the new flick by Rob Zombie, "The Devil's Rejects".
A curious note for fans of the horror genre....Roger Ebert gave this 3 stars! (Click here for Ebert's review)
|The very beautiful model and actress Florence Vanida Faivre topless in a love scene from the French movie "Chok-Dee" (2005).
|Camilla Overbye Roos and Laurie Baranyay are both topless in scenes from the Eric Roberts movie, "Intoxicating" (2003).
|Mr. Nude Celeb
|Jane Adams and indie film QueenParker Posey both show off their A-cups in scenes from "The Anniversary Party"
'Caps and comments by Striplight:
Serie Galante, part deux.
First up is Cecile Fleury in "My Fair Dolly". She's a marionette who, when appropriately wound up (this is with a key, nothing to do with a stressful commute) takes her clothes off. Cecile seems to have been in a number of other things too, including the Emmanuel series. Well, nobody’s perfect.
Following along is Christine Krug (I think) in "Book Lovers”". She's caught in a clinch in the romantic section.
Then we have Kimberley Cowell in "Missing". (Not actually sure of this again as the films don’t give a list of players against their roles). She's visiting the doctor, sitting in the waiting room when her pearl necklace breaks. Of course, she has to make a pretty thorough search to find out where those pearls have bounced along to…
Finally, I've redone the "Petite Fugue" film as a two parter, you get a better look at Maeva Lefebvre in these...
By the way, for those interested, here's a link to a fairly basic site that has more info abou the Serie Galante films.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Starting with the soft core, we have Surrender (1998). There is the briefest of bush by Brandy Davis and the rest is also revealed by Kim Dawson, Catalina Larranga, Sandi Kelley, Kira Reed, Jamaica Charley and some I couldn't identify.
"The Spanish Apartment"
Judith Godrèche wears some naughty underwear in The Spanish Apartment (2003).
"The Adventures of God"
Staying with the Spanish, we have a naked Flor Sabatella in The Adventures of God (2000).
A little further east and we have the Greek film Backdoor (2000). I couldn't identify the topless women and the IMDb wasn't any help.
"Carry On Again, Doctor"
No nudity in Carry On Again, Doctor (1969) but there is some cleavage by Valerie Lyon, and Barbara Windsor is wearing very little.
"Dukes of Hazzard"
The Dukes of Hazzard was never a show I'd regularly watch but if Catherine Bach dressed like she did in the episode titled One Arm Bandits (1979) then things would have been different.
"My Son the Fanatic"
A stripper flashes her breasts in My Son the Fanatic (1997) and Rachel Griffiths is not wearing much.
A bit of cleavage by Meg Ryan in Innerspace (1987).
"It Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time"
Some nice topless nudity by Anne-Marie Sten in It Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time (1975) and we see a brief view of a topless Stefanie Powers from behind.
"Return to the Batcave"
Return to the Batcave (2003) was based on the original TV series of Batman, including the original actors. Nikki Schieler Ziering is topless but nothing is visible and there's plenty of sex appeal by Elisa Marchand.
Nikki Schieler Ziering
"If Looks Could Kill"
More sex appeal by Carole Davis in If Looks Could Kill (1991).
No nudity in Imposter (2002). Madeleine Stowe looks good and Ellen Bradley shows her maternal instinct.
The briefest of nipple by Elizabeth MacRae in The Conversation (1974), with Teri Garr just looking good.
The topless nudity in Caddyshack (1980) comes from Cindy Morgan and an unknown topless bather. Sarah Holcomb is down to her underwear.
"Things Behind the Sun"
Kim Dickens and Alison Folland are both topless in Things Behind the Sun (2001).
"The Parole Officer"
We see Lena Headey's breasts in The Parole Officer (2001) with a bit of sex appeal provided by Emma Gilmour, Kate Deakin and some unknowns.
Emma Gilmour, Kate Deakin and Unknowns
Meredith Monroe takes a swim in her underwear in Full Ride (2001).
Brief topless nudity by Simone Griffeth in The Patriot (1986).
"Under Hellgate Bridge"
Jordan Bayne is topless in Under Hellgate Bridge (2000) but not much can be seen.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
"CHARLOTTE Church released an unexpected hit single - as
she accidently flashed a boob on holiday." Yeah,
yeah, all well and good, but where is the picture, dammit?
Worstest Album Covers Ever, part III
The origins of Expressions & Sayings
Bad News Bears, as reviewed by the dean of all film
- "It's one of the great tragic stories, really.
Right up there with Beowulf and Richie Rich."
Film Jerk's Early Report for July 24
"SWIFT BOAT VETS MISS ATTACKING KERRY" Life Without
Negative Ads Devoid of Meaning, Vets Complain
Tour de Lance: Last sip of Champagne
You think clowns are scary now? Wait until you see a
Here's a new site for baseball nuts:
This Great Game. I enjoyed reading their annual
summaries, but I wish they went back beyond 1900.
Drive-in theaters are making a comeback in Texas.
Texas peaked with 388 drive-ins in 1955, and now has
only 18. Their resurgence could turn Joe Bob Briggs into
the Roger Ebert of tomorrow.
A Weird Al classic - Amish Paradise Music Video
Top three hold their places at the Weekend Box Office -
July 22-24, 2005
- I've never seen a week in which the new releases
were so thoroughly rejected by the public. I had
suggested earlier this week that Weekend Warrior's
predictions for new releases might be light. Boy, was
that wrong! They were actually too high.
- The week's major disappointment was Michael Bay's
$122 million The Island, which has two attractive and
competent stars and received respectable reviews. It
opened with $12 million - a disaster of Alexander
proportions. What went wrong? Well, I don't know but I
talked to my youngest son on Wednesday and asked him
if he was going to The Island. His answer? "What's
that?" When I told him, he thought it sounded pretty
good. He pays for 2-3 movies a week, so I have to
think the marketing for that movie was way off.
- Let me just mention in passing that Michael Bay
seems to be collecting on the bad karma he earned by
not allowing Scarlett Johansson to show her breasts in
this movie, even though she wanted to.
- The other two big releases were really no
stronger. Bad News Bears and The Devil's Rejects
pulled in about the same revenues per screen as The
- Some of the smaller newcomers to the Top 10 did
OK. Hustle and Flow had solid numbers (#2 in revenues
per screen) on a thousand screens, and that penguin
thing again performed quite well, this time on 700
- Wedding Crashers was the big success story. It
dropped only 23% from last weekend, which would be
good for any period, but is extremely impressive this
week, because overall revenues for the top twelve
films dropped 15% from last week. That means that
Wedding Crashers almost held its share, dropping only
two points - from 22% of the aggregate last week to
20% this week.
Some Vets Condemn 'Wedding Crashers' Website. (They
object to the fake cut-out Purple Heart)
Israeli technology firm Blue Security has set up a
scheme to batter spam websites with thousands of
Penn & Teller say Bullshit! to conspiracy theories.
"The Original Mr Floatie At City Hall". When you are
searching for a costumed turd for your party, protest,
or event, look for the bow tie and accept no
substitutes. Only the ORIGINAL Mr Floatie is guaranteed
to be 100% Da Shiznit. Word.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.
here to submit a URL for Other Crap
|A quick site note
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