"Body Strokes" (1995)

Body Strokes (1995) is a garden variety soft-core, with one exception -- it does not have the usual bimbos. Instead, it has a whole new collection of nubile bimbettes. Do they breed them specifically for the purpose? Do you suppose you can call rent-a-bimbo and have some delivered? Or maybe some people are genetically predisposed to bimbodom (ooops, bimbo-dumb). At any rate, this one has a plot. An artist has painters block and a deteriorating relationship with his wife. He decides that fresh young models may spark his interest, and finds two of them. Then everyone takes their clothes off and has simulated sex, remembers taking their clothes off and having simulated sex, fantasizes about taking their clothes off and having simulated sex and dreams about taking their clothes off and having simulated sex.

This is the perfect plot for a soft-core. It does not demand that anyone think (cast or audience), and you can use any footage containing any of the cast with no problem at all. DVD quality could have been better. The point of these things is to see flesh, so here is some.

Thumbnails More thumbnails

Catherine Weber (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19) Cory Lane (1, 2, 3) Dixie Beck (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) Kelly Jaye (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Kristen Knittle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

Johnny Web
"Quiet Days in Hollywood" (2000)

Variation on a theme by Tarantino, also known as "The Way We Are". It's several vignettes that form a sexual round-robin: a sleeps with b, b with c, c with d, and so on back to a. It starts with a prostitute angling for a spot to see a movie star see worships. It ends with her sleeping with the same star, but not knowing it, or even knowing that he usually prefers to sleep with men. Encompassed in the sexual rondelay are the famous, the down-and-out, the yuppie would-be's, and all points in between.

Trivia: the director, Josef Rusnak, may be the only major filmmaker from Tajikistan.

This is actually several short films, with only that linking character "hook" to bind them together. It's not an awful, awful movie, but it isn't really worth your time, unless you really like Natasha Gregson Wagner, who does some nudity including a brief frontal. It had a brief theatrical release in Europe, but it think it went straight to vid or cable in the USA. No American reviewer covered it.

Here is a really thorough description and commentary about this film. Frankly, I wouldn't have invested that much time on it, but the authors were interested in discussing the cultural agenda of the movie, rather than the execution. Notwithstanding the occasional polemic, it's a good overview.

Hilary Swank kept her hands over her breasts, and Meta Golding was discreetly shadowed, but Natasha Gregson Wagner gave up the goodies.

Wagner (1, 2, 3, 4) Swank (1, 2) Meta Golding (1, 2) Various groupies

"White Sands" (1992)

Although undistinguished, this movie isn't all that bad, even though you probably never heard of it. It had a theatrical release in 1992, and grossed a mediocre 9 million. The cast is Mickey Rourke, Samuel L Jackson, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and Willem Devane. It's a mystery about a small-town deputy investigating a suicide (or homicide) in his territory. The dead man was found with a suitcase containing a half of a million dollars. The deputy, strangely enough, decides to take the money and impersonate the dead man in order to solve the crime. He ends up in a morass involving arms dealers, the CIA, and the FBI.

To me, the greatest weakness of the movie is that the filmmakers don't distinguish between mystery and confusion. It turns out that some of the arms dealers are rogue CIA agents, some of the FBI guys are rogue agents, various FBI internal affairs guys may or may not be straight, and I don't know what side Mastrantonio is on, or exactly why a liberal society dame brokers arms deals. It isn't even clear if the arms dealers are really arms dealers, or if they are parters in a scam with the CIA agent, who pretends to be a arms buyer. Perhaps they just take the money of outside investors and split it, without actually selling anything. Anyway, the money they take this time happens to be the evidence money that Devane borrowed, and it just so happens that it was originally stolen from the FBI evidence files. So pretty much everyone is after the bucks, and pretty much everyone is pissed off at Devane, especially the ones who know that he isn't who he's pretending to be. As I said, it simply follows the tactic of having every single thing in the movie be something other than what it is supposed to be. This is more of a cheap device than real plotting, but I watched it all the way through, with only a couple FF advances, mainly because of my favorite character actor, Samuel L Jackson, who lights up the screen with his usual entertaining blend of smart-ass bravado and posturing bullshit.

As mentioned, I used the FF a couple times, so I probably missed this detail, but I still don't know why the guy who killed the original victim left behind the suitcase full of money, then tried so hard to get it back. I suppose there was some reason why he didn't just take it when he iced the guy. Maybe he knew that if he had done that, there would have been no movie.

The Bare Facts Guide said that these scenes are a mixture of body doubles and Mastrantonio. I'm pretty sure that is really her breast in number three. Although her breast is never in the entire frame with her face, they both keep popping out of the top and bottom, and it's really her face. I reckon the other two images are credited body double Tera Tabrizi.

Interestingly, Mimi Rogers appears (fully clothed) in an uncredited minor part as Devane's wife. According to Leonard Maltin, she once had a more substantial part, but lost out in the cutting room. Strange that they didn't list her in the cast at all, because she still had a few lines and a couple minutes of screen time. (There is a face shot included here, just so you can see that it is really Mimi.)

Mastrantonio/Tabrizi (1, 2, 3) Mimi portrait

"Poison Ivy" (1992)

One of the more professional and entertaining trash pics of all time, in the general line leading to Wild Things. Drew Barrymore made her charismatic comeback as the sexy teen who seduces an entire family with her unique combination of earnest sweetness and bad-to-the-bone sleaze. Ivy is insane, but irresistible.

Surprisingly, there is no real nudity in the flick, just a couple of quick body part peeks with no face attached. The sequels improved on this factor, if not on the movie quality.

Well, I shouldn't say there's no nudity in the picture. Tom Skerritt got naked, but I assume you didn't come here to see him.

Barrymore (1, 2)

Graphic Response
  • Samantha Morton, "Under the Skin"
  • Stella Stevens in "Slaughter"
  • Chumba
    Andrea Corr Comments by Chumba: OK, when I mentioned retirement a few weeks back, I never realized I'd be back quite this soon. But I now have a few new toys to play with - a TV tuner/video capture card and a new WACOM graphics tablet. Both have given me the inspiration to keep going and so, it is to vidcapping that I turn.

    Anyway, enough of the boring stuff - and on to what you all want - the vidcaps themselves. Well, these are the first to be produced with my new ProTV card and I'm fairly happy with the results. Andrea Corr always manages to keep my attention :-)

    WhyScan's Page Three Report
    If Page Three is unfamiliar to you, this link describes the Page Three tradition.
    Today's Page 3 girl....Maria from August 25, 1999 (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Bonus Pics
    Madasun singer Vonda. In case you're wondering, it's a pop band in the UK. Kelly Brook Billie Piper

    From the News Of The World, Robin Reynolds, 27, slept with Robbie Williams last week and so obviously deserved a two page spread for doing so. Sleeping with pop stars is pretty difficult after all, they're so choosy. Here's Robin... (1, 2)

    Also Kerry Katona from UK pop band Atomic Kitten. Now we're talking. Apparently she posed for page 3 prior to being famous. (1, 2, 3)

    Sun Story:
    A CHEATING boyfriend needed emergency treatment after his lover glued his willy to his stomach. The 16-year-old girl took revenge after discovering the cad was sleeping with her best friend. While in bed with her boyfriend, also 16, she told him to lie back and close his eyes while she aroused him with some "aphrodisiac cream".

    But then the girl started to laugh "in an evil way," said the victim.

    He added: "I opened my eyes and my manhood was stuck to my stomach and covered in superglue. She told me I'd got what I deserved."

    Doctors in Pennsylvania, U.S., freed the lad but couldn't remove all the glue. They told him to bathe his privates in soapy water daily for a fortnight.

    Edwige Fenech All new, and rare 'caps! Both of these collages come from obscure Italian films courtesy of A very cool site if you're looking for rare, European celebrity nudity.

    First up, full frontal images from "La Pretora".

    Lilli Carati The Former Miss Italy (1975) baring it all in these vidcaps from "Senza buccia".
    and ...
    Kerry Katona
    (1, 2)
    As Whyscan mentioned above, topless pics of the Atomic Kitten singer have recently surfaced. Here are two more scans for your viewing pleasure. #1 is a larger version of one that Whyscan offered (and my pick of the bunch). #2 is a sexy B&W of a younger Kerry.
    Lara Belmont
    (1, 2)
    Vidcaps by Nap from the movie "The War Zone". Both feature some nice topless frames of this newcomer, plus #2 also has a brief look down below.
    Catrin Striebeck A variety of topless 'caps, plus a few frames of sex scenes from "Mau Mau", by Celeblover.
    Ione Skye Topless 'caps from 1991's "Gas Food Lodging".
    Jany Tempel Topless vidcaps from the German TV series "Nicht von schlechten Eltern".
    Izabella Scorupco The multi-lingual actress/singer in vidcaps from the Swedish film "Dykaren" ("The Diver"). For non-Scandinavian may have seen her in the "GoldenEye" Unfortunately, she wasn't topless in the Bond movie, but she is here!
    Myriam Mézières From the German movie "Mau Mau", by Celeblover.
    S Club 7 Something for the are the ladies of the pop group looking very sexy in bikinis from one of their videos, by Bobdfish.
    Sunny Johnson A true blast from the past...vidcaps from the movie "Flashdance"!

    Click Here!