Check Other Crap for updates in real time, or close to it.

"Sons of Anarchy"

s3e7, 1920x1080

Kristen Renton

This week, movies from 2011:

Dirty Movie

Dirty Movie (2011) has a number of breasts on show and lots of sexy women, including:

Bettina Niedermann

Blaire Whitney

Brandy Moon

Caitlin FitzGerald

Claudia L. Brown

Debbie Schwartz & Lauren Schwartz

Diane Neal

Emily Donahoe

Jana Dendinger

Jeanine Hill

Jordanna James

Lindsey E. Vuolo

Livia Scott

Lyndsey Anderson

Marisa Valente

Shavon Ryan

Stephanie Gatschet

Stephanie Restivo

Stylist B.

Victoria Clark

Some not identified

and more from the Blu-Ray extras

Dark Angel: The Ascent


Angela Featherstone film clip (collages below)

Basically, Dark Angel features a vengeful and violent demoness from hell who escapes to earth and falls in love with a human doctor who melts her heart with chocolaty goodness. Of course, she's still a beast from hell, but she learns the true meaning of love.

Or something.

The Arrow, a top genre site reviewer, extolled the film as a strange combination of romance and violence, so I guess you genre fans might like it. He said, "Lots of violence. People hacked to pieces, spine ripped out, hearts ripped out of chests and fed to dog…It’s weird to see a movie with so many beautiful tender moments filled with so much graphic violence...  "


It's not my kind of movie, all gothic and romantic and melodramatic. It's a strange admixture of longing gazes, syrupy music, and bloody violence. In other words, I disliked the very elements that The Arrow praised.

Puerto Vallarta Squeeze


Giovanna Zacarias film clip (collages below)

Scoop's comments:

You'll never believe who wrote this thriller about an efficient but soulful CIA assassin ... Robert James Waller, king of chick-lit, the guy who wrote The Bridges of Madison County. Unlikely though it seems, I can see many parallels between the two stories, especially in the character of the CIA shooter, Clayton Price, the classic lone wolf with a hidden romantic streak, who is really not so far at all from the photographer Robert Kincaid in Madison County. Apart from the fact that one shoots with a camera and the other with a gun, both are tough, laconic, world travelers. Neither seems like the type to settle down. Both have managed to reach half-price-movie age without taking on a partner, falling in love, or even establishing a home, and yet they are not hard-hearted men, and there may still be hope for them if they meet the right woman.

"So is this film a love story?"

Well, yes and no. Maybe it is two love stories, both involving the same woman, but one works better for her than the other. The romance angle never really dominates, however, but works inside the thriller. It might better be described as a thriller which really tries to dig into the unique possibilities within every person. The film tries to turn the gender conventions upside down. There are two assassins in this film, both of them said to be cold-hearted and efficient, and yet they both turn out to be true romantics.

I found it an interesting and worthwhile watch, especially impressive for a straight-to-vid, but the film is flawed. I thought Scott Glenn did a good job in the lead, and I feel that the film has an extremely promising script outline, but that the premise was dragged down by the specifics and the execution. Some examples:

  • I have not read this book, but the summaries indicate that the book makes it clear why the writer agreed to drive the assassin to the border, although he was aware that the man was a killer. On the one hand it was the money, but it was first and foremost a decision driven by the despair of having nothing to write about and the sudden elation of being handed a great yarn by providence. When one looks at it that way, he just about had to do it, because his writers' block was the driving force in his life. The movie seems to leave this very unclear, and therefore makes it hard to understand why the author would allow his girlfriend to come along on the trip without pulling her aside and telling her what she was getting into.  In fact, I have read some reviews which did not understand the point at all. One reviewer wrote, "Pastor and Luz, in desperate need of money, agree, not knowing that the Price is a former Vietnam veteran and CIA-trained assassin responsible for the murders." In reality, Pastor saw Price commit the murders, and knew he was the killer. That's one of the reasons why he agreed to be his chauffeur - something to write about. The intelligibility of that point was lost in the editing room. (The confusion was not really the fault of the reviewer, but of the script and/or editing.)

  • At one point the three travelers spend a night in a "tiny village" in the Mexican interior - but they check out of a hotel that looks very much like the Mexican-style Doubletree here in Austin, and is nicer than any hotel in nearby Temple, Texas, where I used to live. In another lost Mexican village, far from the main road, they stay in a hotel with a clean swimming pool. One of those hotels appeared to have a four star dining room. A tiny club in one of those tiny villages had Vicki Carr performing as a lounge act in the bar, and speaking perfect English! Hell, according to this story, the impoverished Mexican interior has tiny villages with far better accommodations and entertainment than good-sized towns in Central Texas. We should be moving there, instead of the other way around.

  • The three fugitives made no effort to hide their identities when checking into hotels, despite the fact that every armed man in Mexico was looking for them.

  • The CIA sent a 25 year old rookie to kill their top assassin, "the best and the brightest"? What made them think he would succeed?

  • Craig Wasson seemed to be completely inappropriate as the author with writer's block. The man is 50 years old now, and he's still acting like the same naive hippie wimp characters he was playing 25 years ago. The story would have worked better, in my opinion, if this role had been cast with someone who could have made the character more sympathetic. This guy was such a dweeb and a loser that I was rooting for his girlfriend to leave from the first minute of the film.

  • I sorta liked Giovanna Zacarias, and her authentic accent, but she could be very hard to understand - and it wasn't just me. I watched the film with the English captions for the hard of hearing, and even the guy who wrote the sub-titles often misheard what she said. (I was able to figure out the correct words from the context.)

A sad note: former child star Jonathan Brandis, the guy who played the young assassin, killed himself shortly after this film was lensed. He was 27.

Betrayal of the Dove


Helen Slater film clip (collage below)

Bobbie Brown film clip (sample below)

Jennifer Garner in Wakefield (2017). Sex but no nudity.

Debra Winger in The Lovers (2017). Some nudity, but fleeting.

Diane Lane in Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982) in 720p

This offbeat film achieves the ultimate in compressing the rags-to-riches-to-rags story. Within a few days, three girls go from runaways to rock stars, and back to oblivion. (And back to stardom in the post script.)

A very young Diane Lane plays a teen with a 'tude. Some of her comments get aired on television, and other teens express admiration for her in "man on the street" interviews. Those broadcasts attract the attention of some greedy promoters who are salivating at the fact that she, her sister, and their cousin have a garage band called The Stains. It's more of a theoretical band, really. They've only had three rehearsals and can neither sing nor play, but after all, rock has never been about musical virtuosity in general, but about attitude, especially in the punk rock arena. (Remember Sid Vicious?) Although the girls have virtually no talent, their stage posturing and see-through blouses start to attract a following, and the media gets a hold of the phenomenon, which enlarges the following. The band's success also inspires more greed from more promoters, and plenty of jealousy from bands that take music more seriously. The jealous rivals soon tell audiences about the greedy profiteering behind The Stains's ostensible anti-commercialism, and the resulting disgrace returns the girls to obscurity as fast as it had lifted them out of it.

(As mentioned above, the film includes a post-script in which The Stains perform in a rock video that shows they have rebounded to stardom - by becoming a glamorous bubble-gum group! This makes absolutely no sense in context.)

This is an odd little film that almost works, but not quite. The pacing of the film is deadened by inconsistent characterizations and 1970s-style dialogue in which long pregnant pauses substitute for words. The script can never decide which characters and situations it likes or even which ones it takes seriously. Some characters have been exaggerated into obvious buffoons at all times and are in the film only for comic value. Other characters seem to live in the real world. Still others seem to stray back and forth between realistic behavior and buffoonery. I'm still not sure whether this film is supposed to be funny. If so, it fails, but if it could have found a consistent tone and held it, it might have been a cult classic.

There is one other liability that kept the film from success. It is filled with bad music. Mind you, this is not a weakness in the filmmaking. It is SUPPOSED to be. It's a film about awful fifth-rate bands, so they can't sound like Hendrix and Clapton singing Dylan songs. But that artistic integrity comes at the expense of commercial viability. There's more than a half-hour's worth of performances in this film, and bad music is bad music, whether intentional or not.  How many people look forward to listening to a dozen really bad songs performed poorly? The answer is, "Very few," and the miniscule size of that target audience limited the marketability of this film so drastically that Paramount never released it until four years after it was made, and even then only to select arthouses. For a quarter of a century it was not even available on home media. Prior to the DVD release, the only way to see it at home was on cable TV broadcasts.

OK, so the film is not so hot ... but the DVD includes a commentary track from Diane Lane and Laura Dern, who were 15 and 13 when they made the film. (Young Debbie Rochon is also in the film, making her debut as an uncredited extra.) Lane and Dern now look back on their youthful antics with a combination of nostalgia and chagrin, and their reflections are worth a listen.

Emily Ratajkowski, from her upcoming Love pictorial

Dakota Johnson's bikini is partially transparent

Alexa Chung - upcoming issue of Love

Maitland Ward - latest social media shenanigans