"The Prime Gig"
The Prime Gig (2001) is a film that both Scoop and I covered when it was released. I agreed that it was a near miss, but for a different reason. Scoop found the ending very weak, spoiling the film for him. I had no trouble with the hero walking into the sunset, knowing he had been royally screwed, both literally and figuratively, and trying to sort out whether to give up, or to stay in the game, this time a little wiser. Three things bothered me a lot.
First, they had a great comedy cast lead by George Wendt, and they dropped them from the story after the first ten minutes.
Second, they spent entirely too much time on a romantic relationship with Julia Ormond, and not enough on the telemarketing scams.
Third, they introduced a relationship for no reason that I could figure out between Vince Vaughn and a crippled friend.
Ormond's breast exposure was brief, and in very poor light. The good news is that some of the photography was absolutely outstanding. It is sitting at 6.4 of 10 at IMDb. I will give this a C at best. High pressure sales is interesting, the idea of the scammer getting scammed is an ok twist, the film had an amazing cast, mostly wasted, and many plot elements (such as the crippled friend) and props (Vince Vaughn had three guitars out on stands in his apartment, but not a word was ever spoken about them) led me to believe that this film was the victim of a lot of rewrites.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The Name of the Rose (1986)
It's about damned time this film, which is right on the
borderline of the IMDB Top 250, made it to Region 1 DVD. The Name of
the Rose was not very popular in the USA when it was released, and
the contemporary reviews were tepid (Maltin and Ebert gave it two
stars and two and a half stars), but it has developed a strong
following in the ensuing years. It was always popular in Europe,
grossing $70 million there in its 1986 release, compared to $7
million in the USA.
I count myself among its admirers, as does Tuna, but we had some
strong and cogent dissent from one of our readers, all of which led
to a comprehensive review page, maybe the best discussion of this
film available on the web. You will find our spirited discussion
- I was pleased with the DVD. The print is very well
illuminated, even in the darkest and most macabre scenes. As you
can see from the captures, even the details of the dark sex
scene are quite clear. In addition to the good transfer, there
are some worthwhile features. The director does a full-length
commentary. (He is a gossipy and generous guy, and he's always
interesting, if not very focused.) There are also two
featurettes. One is a "making of" from back in 1986, and the
other is a new interview with director Annaud.
- In a spirited and realistic sex scene, Valentina Vargas (1,
provides one of the more explicit gyno/procto shots ever
committed to mainstream celluloid. Jean-Jacques Annaud points
out in a DVD featurette that he never told Christian Slater what
was coming in this scene. Slater knew that there was a love
scene in the script, of course, but did not know that the
director told Valentina Vargas to surprise Slater by making the
scene as real as possible, and to be as aggressive as she could.
Slater's natural reaction was captured on camera, and was
perfect for the character, who was a naive and virginal novice
monk being overpowered by a lusty peasant girl. I don't know if
she actually packed it in at any time, but if not, she came
damned close. You will notice that Slater's penis also makes a
few appearances on camera - you'll see it featured prominently
in collage #7. (At that point at least, it doesn't seem ready
- The denizens of the Cheers bar once debated "the sweatiest
movie". In that spirit, we might discuss "the movie with the
ugliest cast". Three nominees come immediately to my mind. This
one, Tod Browning's Freaks, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
MARTHA STEWART HANDCUFFS HERSELF TO NELSON MANDELA "My
Struggle is His Struggle", proclaims the household diva,
A third clip from Shyamalan's new flick, The Village
Eight new clips from "The Manchurian Candidate"
An uncensored trailer and a new clip from Saw - : "Two
strangers awaken, chained side-by-side to the wall of a filthy
bathroom. Neither knows how they came to this awful predicament,
nor what might await them. But the man lying on the floor and
missing part of his head might be a clue. Soon, they'll discover
they are the latest victims of a maniac who makes his own
amusement by pitting two strangers in gory, life-and-death
John McCain compares vice presidency to being a prisoner of war,
since both involve being kept in the dark and fed scraps.
Top 10 myths and lies in sports
Forbes.com asks "Which 20th century presidency was best for the
How many calories will you burn?
Running back Eddie George has asked for his release, and the
Tennessee Titans are wondering what to do next.
Jesus appears to the faithful at a True Value Hardware in Rio
Grande Valley, Texas. Power tool sales are up 14% over
the non-Jesus True Value stores.
Armstrong destroys the field in a mountainous time trial, extends
his lead to nearly four minutes.
- Clear your calendar.
May 4, 2007 - tentative release date for Spider-Man 3
The ugly saga of the accursed Superman movie.
Vote for America's Sexiest Bartender
- Understated irony department:
Vivid Girls appear at Virgin Megastore to sell their new book 'How
to Have a XXX Sex Life: The Ultimate Vivid Guide.'"
Nice slideshow of Tiger's tigress. You wonder why he
isn't spending as much time on the range? She is helping to
straighten out his short game.
Why do athletes go to the Olympics? Let me give you a
hint - you live in a dormitory for two weeks with the best-toned
women in the world.
Bird shit closes nuclear power plant. How long before a
Senator proposes making birds wear diapers?
- Just in case you feel you're wasting too much of YOUR life,
take comfort that
this guy makes portraits of famous blondes out of bubble gum.
Colin Farrell says he is a nicer guy than Hitler. But
it was a close call.
X-tina back on market
Rollergirl signs up to make 8 rounds on 'Scrubs'
Lisa Rein's Videos and Photos - Clips from the Daily Show
Unusual Churches and Cults
Nick's Mathematical Puzzles
Spamusement! - "Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam
Supermodel Kate Moss, 30, has split with her boyfriend of four
months, actor Daniel Craig, 35, but she's already in
'getting-to-know-you' mode with Jackass star Johnny Knoxville.
(Knoxville is married, but a notorious party animal.)
'Jackson Quadruplets' Story Is True, Says US Magazine.
This is actually getting sort of interesting. Jackson has denied
the accusations, calling them a “big lie”.
The Straight Dope: Was Mr. Greenjeans really Frank Zappa's father?
No. The origin has to do with the titles some of Zappa's songs.
The song "Son of Mr. Green Genes" appears on 1969's Hot Rats
album. But that simply means the song was the "son" of another
song. It is a theme-and-variations offshoot of a song called "Mr.
Green Genes" on a 1968 album called Uncle Meat. (The man, on the
other hand, was the son of an aircraft engineer at Lockheed.)
FilmJerk.com takes a look at "Catwoman": "Catwoman is a
film that deserves every last drop of its horrifying reputation.
Dear God, the rumors are true. After nearly a year of solid bad
buzz that has plagued the production like a cancer, it turns out
every last instance of ill will was justified. This movie is
simply appalling. "
- You probably think Alexandria, Indiana is a boring place, but
where else do they have the
world's largest ball of paint? It is a baseball covered
by 18,000 coats of paint. This man has been re-painting it for 27
years, and it now weighs more than half of a ton.
- Fascinating nostalgia!
The mainstream media looks at "internet" (it was not yet "THE
internet") in the mid 90s.
X-rated fun with fruit. Great photos!
Concert tours are consistently failing this summer.
Government Document Library - outragedmoderates.org.
This guy just collects government documents (mostly in .pdf
format) and makes them available for download on his website and
through P2P networks. The value of P2P is that it makes gigantic
collections available with a single keystroke
A Czech policeman shot at a pedestrian crossing against a red
light. As Latka would have said, "Eastern Europe is a
Jenna Bush shows the maturity and gravitas that have become family
The Open Video Project - a shared digital video collection
I hope you've stopped into eBay to get your bid in on the Picture
CD of a "Drunken Armless Midget College Student"
Movie Juice offers a humorous take on The Bourne Supremacy, aka
Good Kill Hunting
A Shadow on the Rings - the other side of Saturn
Creditcards.com domain name sells for $2.75 million
- This week's movies:
The Bourne Supremacy: 50% positive reviews. Ebert and
Roeper gave it two thumbs up, and Roeper called it one of the best
thrillers in recent years.
- This week's movies:
Dust off those Oscars for Catwoman - 0% positive reviews.
- " 'Feels as if it's been pieced together from a dozen or so
Ally McBeal parodies posing as hip-hop videos.'"
- "Catwoman has nothing on its mind but random movement and
the airing of every lipstick shade from Revlon's Fall
The Sun features female celebs exposed by gusts of wind.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Although The Ballad of
Cable Hogue is one of the best films from famed director Sam
Peckinpah, and featured a very sexy performance from Stella Stevens
- almost outrageous by 1970 standards, it has never made it to DVD.
I love this
Sexy Corinne Bohrer
goes to a motel ice machine stark naked in Dead Solid Perfect, which
was based on a Dan Jenkins novel. This film, too, has never made it
to DVD. (.avi - zip) (.wmv -
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Two more collages from the "Classic moments in nude cinema history" collection...."Showgirls", 'nuff said.
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
The Ghost's Summer O' Skinemax continues with more vids of one of his late night favorites, Ashlie Rhey. Today it's mostly breast views (with the occasional bum partial bum view) as she gets it on in a couple of slow moving love scenes from "Prelude to Love" (1995).
|Lara Flynn Boyle
|The ultra-thin star of the recently cancelled ABC series, "The Practice" getting groped in #1 and showing off her very pink nipples in #2. Scenes from the 1997 Nick Nolte movie "Afterglow".
|The Troma regular showing off breasts and bum views in a couple of very well lit scenes from "The Deviants".
|aka Gianna Ranaudo. Here she is topless in the shower, getting out of the shower and in some love scenes from the the 1987 movie "Firehouse". This movie is a little hard to come by, but film trivia fans may find it's worth the effort to hunt it down in order to see Julia Roberts in her first movie. 'Caps by the Skin-man.
Subject: The Amazing Race
Greetings Uncles Scoopy,
Long time viewer of the site and just wanted to say thanks. Checking the site is part of my daily morning ritual, even before checking out the regular news sites : ) Some how seeing naked babes helps make the more traditional news easier to take.
Anyway, I was wondering if you and the gang are watching the CBS series "The Amazing Race". There is a team made up of twins (Kami & Karli) -and they have a proclivity for sports tops and pokies. On Tuesday night's episode...to get to the final stop for that leg of the race, they swam an ice cold Andiean (sp?) lake in their sports bras - panties for one, pants for the other. Just wondering if anyone may have 'capped this.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MICHAEL DENIES "JACKSON FOUR" RUMOR
From "Barney" Creepy To "Frankenstein" Creepy - It's rumored that Michael
Jackson is about to become the father of quadruplets born to a surrogate
mother. According to the National Enquirer, an unknown actress wrote him a
letter of support, he asked her to have a baby for him, and she agreed.
Five embryos were implanted in her womb, and four "took." Jackson's
spokesman flatly denied the claim, saying, "We do not respond to these
kinds of stories."
By "we," he meant himself and his three identical brothers.
Michael needs quadruplets, in case some of them get dropped off a
At least he's not having himself cloned, because then the kids wouldn't
look a thing like him.
He named his last surrogate baby "Blanket," and all four of these will
have the same name: "Smorgasbord."
NEW YOUTH FAD: HANGING ON HOOKS
A Woman Called Horse - The Coast Guard discovered a weird new fad on a
sandbar in Islamorada in the Florida Keys. They found five young people
who had built a bamboo tripod with meat hooks on it, and one girl was
dangling with hooks embedded in her shoulders. A Guard spokeswoman said it
appeared to be a daily routine: they were into tattoos and piercings, and
they were just "enjoying the afternoon" and breaking no laws. She said
"the hooks had been inserted in the skin in a professional manner and had
drawn very little blood."
She had no many other piercings, she HAD no blood left.
In fact, they wished there'd been more blood, because they were very
Breaking no laws?! Aren't there laws against hooking?
Just out of curiosity, what kind of professional would you call to have
meat hooks embedded in your shoulders?
They all hooked up at one of those meat market bars.
INMATES BREAK OUT FOR BEER, RETURN TO JAIL
They "Headed For The Mountains" - Four inmates in the Hawkins County,
Tennessee, jail whose cell doors were accidentally left unlocked escaped.
But they only went as far as a nearby convenience store, bought four cases
of beer, then returned to jail with it. The sheriff said he guesses he
thought if they came back, they wouldn't be charged with escape, "but they
were wrong." He added, "At least they came back."
And at least they brought enough beer for everyone.
That was a direct quote from Sheriff Andy Taylor.
They were fined four cases of beer.
They thought if they bought beer, a lot of women in bikinis would show
SUMMER CONCERTS DYING
They All Blame Bush - The summer concert business is dead this year, with a
number of major acts, such as the Lollapalooza festival, canceling. Some
make health excuses, like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, while Marc
Anthony claimed he canceled his tour to work on an album; but Pollstar
reports that people just aren't buying tickets. The major culprit is high
prices. One booker said when his kids are excited about a show, then hear
tickets are $300, "they get very unexcited."
Especially when for $15, they can buy the same CD the artist will
If only they could download tickets for free!
Why pay $300 to see Britney Spears when five years from now, she'll be
working in a strip club with a $10 cover?
If you want to see an excited crowd, try a Linda Ronstadt concert.