Tuna wrote on Wednesday:
"They are still trying to adjust my medication. My heart rate is stable, and
the trick is to reduce medications to get rid of my dizziness and fatigue
without having the heart rate climb. I will be on disability for some or all of
August, and they are contemplating a cardio-covert, and angiogram, a sleep
study, and who knows what else. I asked him outright if this was as good as it
gets. He said it was possible, but he hoped not."
If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Any uncensored photos of Molly Shannon's recent nipple slip? E television ran the
censored video recently. Thanks.
A: I haven't seen it. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
We have reviewed this before.
Neither Tuna nor I had much passion about Alfie, either pro or con. We both had
the same reaction - "That wasn't so bad, really, but why did they bother to make
this movie, and on what basis can I recommend it to someone else?" Neither of us
ever came up with much of an answer. At any rate, Jude Law did a pretty good job
in a character-driven romantic dramady.
I played around with it again for two reasons
(1) Nia Long did some (VERY minimal) nudity in the deleted scenes
(2) I thought that I could get a better look at and enhance the effect of
Jane Krakowski's possible slippage if I removed the blue filter from that scene.
I was wrong. Altering it to natural color minimized the illusion rather than
enhancing it. Anyway, here it is, so you can see for yourself.
Nia Long (deleted scene)
Words and pictures from Hankster:
Holy cow, did this project grow! It
all started when Dragon sent in a sexy clip of Edwige
Fenech in Il Ladrone (1979). I thought that would be a good
opportunity to update the Fenech volume, so I went to Mr Skin's site to see if
he had any more of Fenech's 70-odd films captured yet. Turned out he had a
shitpile of 'em. He had caps from nine films not currently in the Encyclopedia,
and the Encyclopedia had 24 more, raising the Fenech total to 33 movies. She was
the queen of the seventies - she made 43 films in that decade. I don't know what
Edwige is doing now, but she's not that old - about a month older than me.
Here's Dragon's zipped avi,
and here's the zipped
.wmv I made from it.
And here are the Fenech films not already in our Encyclopedia, including Il
Escape from Death Row (1975)
Frau Wirtin ...(1969)
La Bella Antonia (1972)
Il Ladrone (1979)
La Moglie in vacanza ...(1980)
Anna, quel particolare piacere (1974)
Taxi Girl (1977)
The Winsome Widow (1974)
Sugar, Honey and Pepper (1980)
Bai Ling must be the #1 source fo paparazzi nudity since
Elizabeth Hurley started keepin' 'em holstered. Too bad she's not a bigger
star, because it seems that she provides a look at one of her monstrous
nipples in every single public appearance.
|What is the deal on
Marina Sirtis? We don't see any flesh from
her for years, and now she's wearing see-throughs everywhere?
|Speaking of transparency,
here is the mother of all see-throughs. That Eva Green definitely has a
body on 'er. Two words - both hubba.
Pat Reeder - The Comedy Wire
Pat's comments in yellow:
WASHINGTON TO HELP US BY DOUBLING OUR CREDIT CARD BILLS
Time For A Second Mortgage! - If you have a high credit card balance, beware:
within the next month, Bank of America, Citigroup and MBNA will
double the minimum payment from 2 to 4 percent of the balance, plus interest,
and other banks will soon follow suit. They're under pressure
from Bush administration officials who think Americans have too much debt, and
this will help them get out of it faster.
* Out of debt and straight into bankruptcy.
* If anyone knows how to get out of debt, it's the Bush administration.
* But even if you pay 4 percent, you still won't pay it off until 2075!
* The Republicans say if you don't have an extra $300 or so a month, just cash
out some of your stock portfolio.
WHITE HOUSE FLIP-FLOP SCANDAL
With White Socks! - Once again, the White House has a flip-flop scandal. A news
photo showed four members of the Northwestern University women's
lacrosse team wearing flip-flop sandals to meet President Bush. They were
besieged with messages from shocked relatives, with one girl's mother saying she
was "mortified." It made big headlines in Chicago papers. The girls are trying
to make amends by auctioning them for charity, but they said they were dressy
flip-flops, not beach sandals.
* Besides, flip-flops are perfectly appropriate with sweats.
* Plus, Bush was wearing Nikes with a blue suit.
* When the team visited Clinton, they didn't wear flip-flops... They wore
WORKERS CAN NOW SUE IF THEY'RE NOT SEXUALLY HARASSED
Another Cheap Shot At Arnold - The California Supreme Court unanimously ruled
that bosses who sleep with their employees can be sued for sexual
harassment by employees they don't sleep with. The ruling, which greatly
expands the state sexual harassment law, said such affairs create an atmosphere
of "sexual favoritism," which conveys the message that the way to get ahead is
to have sex with the boss, and that alone constitute sexual
* Wouldn't that mean that everybody in virtually every company is sexually
* Well, this will close down every movie studio in Hollywood.
worry: your boss can still have sex with you, as long as he never, ever promotes
DECLARING YOUR HOUSE A KINGDOM DOESN'T WORK
Fruits And Nuts - Angry over the Australian government bulldozing their
fruit crop, on July 4, 1996, farmers Virgilio Rigoli and his sons Philip
and Little Joe issued a Declaration of Independence, declaring their land
to be an independent kingdom named Ponderosa. They put a fence and moat
around it, started demanding passports to enter, and His Royal Highness
Little Joe Rigoli wrote a letter to tax authorities addressed "To the devil
possessed," saying he would never recognize the government of Australia.
All three were just convicted of fraud for refusing to pay their taxes.
* They KNEW they should've bought those nuclear weapons from North Korea.
* The tax agents seized the Ponderosa, which was a bonanza for the
* Turns out "A man's home is his castle" technically ISN'T a "law."
DOCTORS ANSWERING SYSTEM HACKED (CAREFUL! NOTE SUBJECT!)
Funny! - Gerald Martin of White Plains, New York, is facing up to seven
years in prison if convicted in an alleged computer hacking case. Martin
runs an answering service for doctors, and he is accused of sabotaging a
competing service. When people tried to reach their doctors, they instead
got busy signals or the sounds of people moaning and groaning in sexual
* They thought they'd reached the interns on "Gray's Anatomy."
* It wasn't their hospital...It sounded more like "General Hospital."
* It was particularly annoying to patients who were calling about erectile
* Fortunately, they couldn't hear it over their own groaning.
BANKING WHILE DRUNK NOT A CRIME
Just Return His Empties - Supermodel Maggie Rizer is suing HSBC Bank for
allegedly letting her stepfather, who had power of attorney over her
accounts, withdraw $7 million for his gambling habit. She said they often
let him cash checks while intoxicated. The bank's lawyers say it's not
their duty to screen customers for sobriety, and there's no law against
banking while drunk.
* Unless you're banking at the drive-through.
* Although they have to admit, it's not that good an idea.
* But there really should be a law against gambling while drunk.
* That explains their motto: "The Fun Bank!"
* Was she drunk when she gave him power-of-attorney?
SAN DIEGO HAS TWO MAYORS IN FOUR DAYS
Touched By An Angle - Monday, Michael Zucchet, acting mayor of San Diego,
California, was convicted of taking illegal campaign cash from a strip club
owner to help repeal a "no-touching" law at nude clubs. A juror called it
"a really stupid plan." The previous mayor resigned Friday due to many
problems at City Hall, so San Diego has had two mayors in four days. But
Zucchet's lawyer said his client might at least get into the Guinness
record book for shortest mayoral term.
* There's a lawyer who's earning his money!
* It was a stupid plan because most of the city council would've repealed
the "no-touching" law anyway.
* His defense was that he'd already returned the money to the strip club,
one dollar bill at a time.
* San Diego needs another mayor, so this time, they're looking for someone
who has stupid plans that AREN'T illegal.
BEWARE THE BLOG!: BLOGGING FOR SPACE ALIENS
They're Too Busy Reading "Harry Potter" - The Florida firm MindComet is
launching a free service, "BlogInSpace.com," that will let Internet
bloggers beam their writings into space via satellite, to potentially be
read by extraterrestrials. CEO Ted Murphy said aliens who've seen radio
and TV signals from Earth showing war and anger can read the blogs and see
average humans in a different light. But he warned bloggers to write for
an alien family audience and not be provocative, risque or use offensive
* He doesn't want to get letters.
* Yeah, don't use any dirty words, like "Freen" or "Blagdorp!"
* Knowing most bloggers, a real-life "War of the Worlds" is about a week
* Aren't most bloggers violently opposed to aliens?
* Chances are, there'll be more people reading them in outer space than
read them on Earth.
MAN FACES PRISON FOR PANTY EXTORTION
Stick 'Em Up! Now, Drop 'Em! - Police in Osceola County, Florida, charged
Nicholas Koger, a 27-year-old married man, with six felony counts after
months of surveillance at Target and Home Depot parking lots. Police say
Koger would wait for a woman to exit her vehicle, then leave a note on her
windshield threatening her if she didn't remove her panties and leave them
in the parking space for him to pick up after she left.
* His wife is furious: he NEVER picks up underwear off the floor at home
* It took a long time, but police finally sniffed him out.
* Unfortunately for him, most of the women at Home Depot were wearing
OUTHOUSE EXCUSE SMELLS FISHY
His Wife Has Heard This Before - Gary Moody of Gardiner, Maine, was
arrested last month after a girl saw him in the raw sewage tank of an
outhouse, looking up at her through the toilet seat. He was painted as the
grossest pervert imaginable. But Monday, he pleaded innocent and gave his
excuse. He said he'd been changing clothes in the outhouse when he dropped
his wedding ring down the toilet hole. Not wanting to go home to his wife
without it, he said he went down the toilet to look through the sewage for
* He even brought his wife to court to prove she's scary enough to make a
man do that.
* Now, both his ring and his marriage are in the crapper.
* He doesn't want to lose his wife...She does such a great job on his
SINGING ALONG TO RADIO MAKES DRIVING SAFER
And No Rap! - A study by Britain's University of Sheffield found that
drivers who sing along to the radio concentrate and stay awake better than
drivers who are silent, hold conversations or listen to talk radio. They
say the singing stimulates the mind and body, but since the words are
memorized and repetitious, they're less distracting than a conversation.
But they warned drivers to avoid certain loud, angry songs, such as
Prodigy's "Firestarter," because they boost aggressiveness.
* The driver who's stuck next to you at the stop light might shoot you.
* And don't play New Age music, or you'll lapse into a coma at the wheel.
* Also, singing at the wheel can result in injuries if you do it when you
* Many former "American Idol" contestants sing at the wheel... But they're
in the car a lot because they're all driving cabs now.
* If you don't know the words, drive a Hummer.
"REQUIRED WATCHING" LIST FOR KIDS
And What Classic Video Games Should They Know? - The British Film Institute
is lobbying UK school officials to create a list of 10 movies that every
child should see by age 14. The BFI wants kids to recognize certain films
as important cultural icons, like books on the "required reading" list.
Their suggested movies are from around the world and include "The Wizard of
Oz," "Raiders of the Lost Ark," "Spirited Away" and "The Bicycle Thief."
* By age 14, most of today's kids already know how to steal a bicycle.
* And of course, classic "coming-of-age" movies, like "Porky's."
* The other six will all be Harry Potter movies.
* This will do for great movies what the required reading list does for
great books: Make kids hate them.
* There are no movies made from books on the required reading list because
kids watch those anyway, instead of reading the books.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Damn, I love California.
California court rules on sexual office affairs - you
can sue for sexual harassment if the boss doesn't
fuck you! As Oscar Wilde once said, "The only thing
worse than getting fucked is NOT getting fucked."
JoBlo has an amusing review of Stealth, which opens next
"A few years ago, a PlayStation 2 commercial was created
to advertise the console in France. It was banned, for
pretty obvious reasons, but lives on through the grace
of the Internet. This is pretty old, but it's the first
we've seen of it."
European geography, level 3
Mr T sets out to refute all those racists who think all
black guys can sing. A classic. I pity the foo' who
The late Scotty weighs in on his favorite beaming
"'I like Captain Kirk, but I sure don't like Bill. He's
so insecure that all he can think about is himself.'"
Did Machiavellian scheming by General Motors sabotage
the LA mass transit system?
An extended clip from The Island
Teachers say no one should 'fail' ... The U.K.'s
"Education Secretary Ruth Kelly has dismissed
suggestions that the concept of 'failure' should be
removed from school in favour of 'deferred success'."
Much like Tony Blair's Iraqi adventure.
Conan welcomes the world's oldest stunt man.
There is the UK's version of the trailer for The Dukes
of Hazzard. It's pretty much the same, except that
the Duke boys are named Nigel and Alastair, and they are
not NAMED Duke, they really ARE Dukes.
An R-rated international trailer for Steve Carell's The
40 Year Old Virgin. Hang on - the last 20 seconds
are really raunchy!
Two international trailers from A Good Woman.
- " 'An elegant and witty romantic comedy based on
Oscar Wilde's classic play, 'Lady Windermere's Fan.'
Set in the 1930s on the beautiful shores of the
Italian Riviera, Lions Gate Films' 'A Good Woman'
follows the seductive Mrs. Erlynne (Hunt), scorned by
many as a 'woman of ill repute,' leaves New York for
the Amalfi coast, where she hopes to find a new
'patron' among the vacationing aristocrats. The
mean-spirited gossip stirred up by Mrs. Erlynne's
arrival isn't enough to dissuade the jovial,
kind-hearted Lord Augustus (Wilkinson) from falling in
love with her. But Mrs. Erlynne has already set her
sights on the married Robert Windermere (Mark Umbers),
a wealthy young American who falls quickly under her
spell. Windermere's faithful wife, Meg (Johansson), is
herself distracted by the flirtatious overtures of
Lord Darlington (Stephen Campbell Moore), a notorious
playboy. But when she learns of her husband's
blossoming affair, Meg resorts to drastic measures,
with unexpected consequences for everyone involved...
Brimming with sumptuous locales and sweeping romance,
'A Good Woman' is a sophisticated ode to Wilde's
legendary wit and wisdom, beautifully directed by Mike
Barker from a sparkling script by Howard Himelstein."
Tuskless elephants evolving in China due to poaching:
"more male Asian elephants in China will be born without
tusks because poaching of tusked elephants is reducing
the gene pool"
Scientists worry about Pentagon's new ray gun
The Smoking Gun reviews:
Why Polanski Lives Over There
Inventor of the TV dinner dies, to be frozen
cryogenically and wrapped in foil, presumably to be
re-warmed later and brought back to life.
How To Be Funny. Well, sorta.
Michael Jackson and the chocolate factory.
Super Villain Carpool. This is a funny idea. "Behold
the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito"
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE ACTION FIGURES MAKE THEIR DEBUT.
"They'll make all your dreams come true." I was a little
heartbroken to see no Uncle Rico.
Headline of the day:
"Police lift prints off gnomes" ... The story is
pretty comical as well.
The trailer for Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man. The
following is the official blurb, not my editorializing:
- "Timothy Treadwell's death was as sensational as
his life: Having presumed he could live safely among
the grizzly bears of the Alaskan wilderness, the
outdoorsman and author (Among Grizzlies)--along with
his partner, Amie Huguenard--was eventually killed and
devoured by one of the very animals to whom he had
devoted years of study. In telling this story, Werner
Herzog relies considerably on Treadwell's own video
footage, shot during his time in the wild. But in the
manner well known to those familiar with the stunning
nonfiction films Herzog has made throughout his
career, and most notably from the early '90s through
today ('Lessons of Darkness,' 'Little Dieter Needs to
Fly,' 'Mein Liebster Feind,' and most recently 'The
White Diamond'), the famed German director takes
Treadwell's story into unexpected emotional frontiers
and startling landscapes of the mind. Where he doesn't
go is equally as fascinating, but if Herzog is
consistent about anything, it is the defiance of the
ordinary, the rejection of the obvious, and the
relentlessly searching eye he turns on whatever
subject attracts his attention. Treadwell is an
intriguing, infuriating, perhaps even tragic figure.
But Herzog himself is equally compelling, and this
brilliant film is just one reason why."
Better buy your tickets early for this one, cuz the
lines are going to stretch around the block ...
The trailer for Roll Bounce
- "In the late '70s, when roller skating was a way
of life, X (Bow Wow) and his pals ruled supreme. But
when the doors of their local skating rink close, it
marks the end of an era and the beginning of another
that sees the boys venture into foreign territory --
uptown's Sweetwater Roller Rink, complete with its
over-the-top skaters and beautiful girls. Through his
preparation for the showdown of the season -- the
Roller Jam skate off with the Sweetwater crew -- X
manages to find himself and also help his dad (Chi
McBride) get back on track."
Hey, ICMS! It's a new cop thriller from the
The trailer for The Memory of a Killer
- When a key civil servant is murdered, the Antwerp
police force puts its top crime investigators on the
case: Vincke (Koen De Bouw) and Verstuyft (Werner De
Smedt). The trail leads to hitman Angelo Ledda (Jan
Decleir). Showing symptoms of Alzheimer's, Ledda finds
it increasingly difficult to carry out assignments.
When he realizes that he is being used in a political
power game, he decides to bite the hand that feeds.
Vincke and Verstuyft have a hard time trying to
disentangle the web of intrigues to prevent further
killings. Subsequently, the three men find themselves
working together to eliminate Antwerp's 'underground
Some clips from The Skeleton Key, a new supernatural
thriller with Kate Hudson and Gena Rowlands.
Here are the trailers from Joss Whedon's Serenity
"Match the '80s kid actor to his or her quarterlife
Google Maps adds the moon.
Quotables: Late Night with Conan O'Brien
- "In a speech this week Hillary Clinton compared
President Bush to Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman.
After hearing this the President said, 'Finally a
literary reference I understand.'"
- "Brad Pitt insists he's not in bed with the flu,
they are just good friends."
- "President Bush went to Indiana today to try to
reach out to the state's black voters. Apparently
Indiana's blacks are divided: one likes Bush but the
- "Drew Barrymore says she will stop acting and
become a director when her 'boobs start sagging.'
Which, by the way, this is the same reason Michael
Moore became a director."
- "In a recent interview, Michael Jackson said that
when he dies he wants his body to be frozen. Not
surprisingly, once Jackson is frozen he wants to have
his body placed in an ice cream truck."
ROBERTS VOWS TO BE MOST GENERIC WHITE MALE IN HISTORY OF
SUPREME COURT ... Bush Praises Nondescript Nominee
- Elsewhere, over 150,000 women in Great Britain
submitted applications to become actor Jude Law’s new
The Daily Show's Lewis Black profiles some of the people
condemning indecency among fictional lawbreakers.
Jon Stewart cooks up some possum fritters with America's
#1 redneck, Billy Bob Thornton
The Daily Show's Ed Helms profiles a woman who may have
accidentally grabbed a stripper instead of a clean
towel. It turns out that Vagina Cream is the secret
to immortality. Or not.
Daily Show: "Should Karl Rove receive a medal? He's
already a shoo-in to sweep this year's Leakys."
Rue McClanahan discusses former fellow Golden Girl
- ""Estelle doesn't know anything about having done
a show called 'Golden Girls.' She doesn't recognize
any of us; doesn't recognize us in person and doesn't
recognize us over the phone. And she can't really
carry on a conversation anymore."
What does Lance Armstrong listen to during the Tour de
J.K. Rowling reads the opening pages of that Half-Baked
Prince thing you may have heard something about.
"Courteney Cox says it's possible that Friends may
reunite for a one-off show"
Star Trek's Scotty, James Doohan, beamed up at 85
Sadly, this is a real headline from a real newspaper:
"Ukrainian vampire drugged children and drank their
Judge says photographer can distribute Asastasia
Myskina's topless pics. Now that's my kid of
activist judge. Ms. Myskina is a top tennis player and
former French Open champion. The pictures were taken by
top fotog Mark Seliger for GQ, so it's obviously not
- "Mukasey wrote that the Russian star's rights were
not violated when topless photographs were published
with an article weeks after she won the French Open in
2004, despite her insistence that she did not
understand a photo release form with her signature on
it and was not fluent in English at the time."
One of Anastasia Myskina's topless pics. The lawsuit
is about the right to use more from the same shoot or
republish them elsewhere, or both.
The Boston Herald reviews "The Blonde in the
Thunderbird'' That is the new one-woman Broadway
show from Suzanne Somers in which she plays the part of
... Eleanor Roosevelt. No, I'm just kidding. She
actually stands on stage and talks about her own life,
stopping to sing a few old tunes with new lyrics. I
didn't make any of this up. The following are real
quotes from the review:
- "An original musical number features Somers
prancing around the stage strapped to a small foam
Thunderbird (a nod to her big break in ``American
Graffiti''). Your jaw may drop, but not for the right
- "When she inevitably trots out a cart filled with
her Home Shopping products, it's surprising she
doesn't try to make a few sales from the stage."
- " ... it was evident Somers can't sing, can't
really act, but she does have guts. At 58, she still
has a great body (you better believe that Thigh Master
makes an appearance)"
The Miami ABC affiliate has a slideshow and video of
that women who stripped in court, but they've sanitized
it for our protection.
End of the World. Flash Animation
Letter From Karl C. Rove to Judith Miller of the New
York Times (Whitehouse.org)
Colin Farrell Sues Over Sex Tape - The Smoking Gun has
Latino Review reports on Comic Con (part 2)
The international trailer from On a Clear Day
- "Frank determines to salvage his self-esteem and
tackle his demons by attempting the ultimate test of
endurance - swimming the English Channel."
The trailer from Oyster Farmer
- "Oyster Farmer is the story of Jack Flange (Alex
O'Lachlan), an enterprising young man who moves from
Sydney into an isolated, close-knit community of
oyster farmers. In desperate need of money, Jack robs
a local fish market (with a frozen lobster) and mails
the cash to himself. When the package goes missing, he
fears the police may be on to him or that someone in
the eccentric oyster farmer community has intercepted
the loot. His suspicion falls on the bewitching Pearl
(Diana Glenn), a local beauty whose expensive tastes
do not go unnoticed, but who just might be his
Four clips from Last Days, the new fictional Gus van
Sant film loosely based on the life of Kurt Cobain.
A new behind-the-scenes featurette about Aeon Flux
The trailer for Nanny McPhee
- "Emma Thompson, whose first screenplay won the
1995 Oscar for 'Sense and Sensibility,' returns to
screenwriting with 'Nanny McPhee,' a motion picture
adaptation of the 'Nurse Matilda' books by Christianna
Brand. Thompson, the only person to have won Oscars
for both acting and writing, also plays the title role
in 'Nanny McPhee,' opposite Colin Firth, Kelly
Macdonald and-in her first role for the big screen in
two decades-Angela Lansbury. In this dark and witty
fable, Thompson portrays a person of unsettling
appearance and magical powers who enters the household
of the recently widowed Mr. Brown (Firth) and attempts
to tame his seven exceedingly ill-behaved children.
The children, led by the oldest boy Simon ('Love
Actually''s Thomas Sangster), have managed to drive
away 17 previous nannies and are certain that they
will have no trouble with this one. But as Nanny
McPhee takes control, they begin to notice that their
vile behavior now leads swiftly and magically to
rather startling consequences. Her influence also
extends to the family's deeper problems, including Mr.
Brown's sudden and seemingly inexplicable attempts to
find a new wife; an announcement by the domineering
Aunt Adelaide (Angela Lansbury) that she intends to
take one of the children away; and the sad and secret
longings of their scullery maid, Evangeline (Kelly
Macdonald). As the children's behavior begins to
change, Nanny McPhee's arresting face and frame appear
to change as well, creating even more questions about
this mysterious stranger whom the children and their
father have come to love."
Ten clips from the Disney superhero family comedy Sky
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
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