Cable round-up

As it turns out, there was some interesting footage on Hung. Tom Jane did a (reluctant) sex scene with Horny Patty, who is played by former Daily Show correspondent Lauren Weedman. She didn't get nekkid, but did pack her enormous, bouncy breasts into a skimpy and transparent bra.

There was nothing worth capturing on True Blood or Entourage


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.









Second Time Lucky


Diane Franklin film clips

Caps below:

Scoop's notes:

There is bad news and good news about Second Time Lucky.

The good news is that it could be a fairly entertaining twenty minute movie.

The story centers around a bet between God and Satan about whether mankind would fall from grace again if given a second chance at Eden. I'm no theologian, but I presume God knows the future, so I suppose He made the bet knowing full well He'd win eventually. When it comes to gambling, that Satan is a bigger fish than Pete Rose! In fact, I think even Pete Rose could figure out not to bet against someone known as The All-Knowing One. You'd think the Prince of Darkness would smarten up and lay off the bets after a few millennia of losing, but ol' Satan, he'll still try to sneak a bluff in on God in their weekly game of seven card stud, trying to steal an occasional pot with a pair of sixes when The All-Knowing One is sitting on trip aces with two of 'em face up. If nothing else, you'd think the Father of Lies would at least cover his action by making some side bets with his minions and lesser demons.

At any rate, because the story starts in Eden, the first fifteen minutes (more precisely, minutes 5-20) consist of two attractive people running around stark naked in some beautiful areas of New Zealand.

The woman is Diane Franklin, famed proto-babe from the 1980s. If you were born in the 1965-75 period, you probably had a crush on her at one time or another. She was the cute French exchange student who bonded with John Cusack in Better off Dead.  She was one of the princesses who were rescued from the Royal Ugly Dudes by Bill and Ted. She was the love/lust object who broke our hero's heart in The Last American Virgin. She was the cute, round little teen who faced the haunted house in Amityville II.

Then the 80s were over, and she was gone. She got married, had kids, raised them, and didn't resurface in public for a decade. She became a classic suburban mom, doing volunteer work and probably driving a Volvo station wagon. When she did return to acting, it was only with bit parts here and there. (According to IMDb, she sang the National Anthem at Dodger Stadium on June 1, 2004.)

Sidebar: Diane's fan site reports that she was on the short list to play Constanze in Amadeus, according to Diane herself!! Ms Franklin says that losing the part was a blessing in disguise, because if her career had moved up to a higher level, she may never have had her lovely family. No disrespect meant to Diane, but winning that role probably would not have been as significant as she seems to think. The woman who did get the part and turned in a reasonably solid performance, Elizabeth Berridge, never got another important movie role, and has recently sunk to taking roles as characters without names, like "hooker in bar" and "NY girl".


The bad news is that it is not a twenty minute movie.

Once Adam and Even get evicted from Paradise, there are two reasons why you should not watch any more:

1) It really doesn't make any sense for the movie to continue. God and Satan make the bet. Satan wins ... why is the movie still running?? I suppose is it is so God can "win" eventually, but I never did make any sense of why Adam and Eve kept reappearing in the Roman Empire, WW1, and the Flapper Era. Maybe Satan was a really good sport and was giving God a chance to go double or nothing. Man, he is a fish. He wins one damned bet in all eternity, and he gives God a chance to get His money back! Then again, God knew he would do that, which must be why The All-Knowing One took the losing action in the first place.

Apparently it never dawned on the writer of this film that Eve, aka Diane Franklin, could not have been reincarnated from the dark haired French nurse in 1917 to the blond American floozy in the 1920s, since the French girl would not have died yet! But I might be taking this material a bit too seriously. Just a bit.

2) Far more important than that lame reason is the fact that Diane Franklin kept her clothes on for the rest of the film except for  a quick flash in the Roman Empire and a very brief flash when she took of her shirt so a WW1 firing squad would have a target.

 Or maybe two targets.

So if you watch this film, or buy it (for $9.99 or less on a poorly-mastered DVD that appears to be a transferred VHS print), you have two choices:

Choice A - watch an unfunny twenty minute comedy in which Diane Franklin is naked throughout.

Choice B - watch an unfunny ninety minute comedy in which the last seventy minutes have no value either to the film's premise or to the history of screen nudity.

Choice A is not such a bad deal, but don't even think about continuing to watch after steppin' out of Eden. (Hey-ey, brother.) The film's only memorable feature, other than Diane Franklin's soft curves, is a trio of very hammy performances from the three guys who play God, Satan, and the angel Gabriel as three heavenly drag queens. And while that is memorable, it is not a pleasant memory.





Yuko Asuka in Shiofuki Ama


Erica Cox in Bitten


Amy Lynn Grover in Bitten

Melissa George (no, not the one you're thinking of) in Home Sick

Madeleine Hinde in School for Unclaimed Girls

Valerie Wallace in School for Unclaimed Girls

Kim Kardashian's famous jumbo ass

Rebecca Davies whips out the jumbo jacks in Desperate Romantics





The women of Private Moments: Catalina Guirado, Aruna Shields, Judith Shekoni, Emily Clarke, Natasja Vermeer.

Carice van Houten in Komt een vrouw bij de dokter (samples below)

Alexandra Kamp in 2001, a space travesty (sample below)

Bojana Golenac in Edgar Wallace  - Whiteface (samples below)

Jasmine Gerat in an episode of Nachtschicht (sample below)

Corinna Drews in an episode of Kir Royal (samples below)