Charlie's site is updated. Highlights
- Emmanuelle Seigner spreading her legs
on camera in 1991's Bitter Moon;
- Marion Cotillard, newly famous for the
Edith Piaf biopic, stark naked front and rear in a 1995 film, and sporting
a very impressive rack. (This was filmed earlier than any of our previous
caps of her.)
Charlie is now on holiday until late August.
* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
"Burning Love" is an earthy romantic comedy from the Netherlands - heavy
on the comedy.
Two art students in Amsterdam want to win a
scholarship to study in Paris and feel that learning French will give them an advantage.
They find the perfect solution in an old woman who not only teaches
French, but has influence over the scholarship selection. She lives
with her ancient father, who is ill, and a couple, Monique van de Ven
and her violinist husband. They are able to secure French lessons
with her, and end up living in
her attic in exchange for taking care of her father. The students' real
reason for staying in her house, however, is to get close enough to Monique van de Ven
to get her to pose nude.
As an idea of the humor, one of the artists is at the table for
mid-morning coffee, a delightful Dutch custom, and the father is
farting. The landlady is trying to ignore him. She offers milk to
the artist, and starts pouring it into his coffee before he can say
no. He starts stirring it, and it is curdled. He takes a drink
anyway, just as the father farts loudly, and he sprays it all over
Other events in this film will have you scratching your
head, like Monique van de Ven masturbating one of the artists, or
footage of Monique giving birth with inserts of an actual
childbirth. Monique was clearly not pregnant for real, as she
was married to cinematographer Jan de Bont from 1970 to 1987, and he
had no children during that time. Given that fact, the prosthetic
stomach was very well done.
interesting that the source novel was written by Jan Wolkers, who also
wrote Spetters and Turks Fruit, both directed by Paul Verhoeven and
photographed by de Bont. Monique appeared in Turks Fruit and in
yet another film (Keetje Tippel) directed by Verhoeven and photographed
by her husband de Bont. Although Verhoeven went on to great success
in Hollywood (Showgirls, Basic Instinct, Starship Troopers, Total
Recall and Robocop), as did de Bont (Die Hard, Basic Instinct),
their earlier Dutch collaborations are believed by many, including
me, to be their finest work. This film certainly suffers by
comparison to the Verhoeven/de Bont catalogue, although it is
probably funny enough if college high jinks and base physical humor
appeal to you.
I will call it a C-, assuming you speak Dutch. (It's not for you
if you cannot understand Dutch. Although it is available in an all region PAL DVD, it is in Dutch
with no subtitles.)
IMDb readers say 5.7.
Monique van de Ven and Ellen Fogel show everything, and Zillah
Emanuels shows breasts and buns. We also have male full frontal in
It is carried in the US by RLDVDs.com. Click on the image below
Notes and collages
...as Hankster collaged "Sheena" just the other day, I'll wrap up my Tanya
Roberts collage series here.
...next up is a break in the Bond girl action: I just got a sweet DVD copy
of "The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak" so I'll be collaging
the ladies from that film next, especially Tawny Kitaen in her
El Buque Maldito
El Buque Maldito is a Spanish movie in which, as a publicity stunt, a model
agency sends 2 models
with a small boat out to sea to be found by a cruise. Instead a ghost ship finds
them first. They come to the rescue but are too late and the rescuers get killed
too, just for the fun of it.
The Comedy Wire
Early Thursday morning in Sacramento, California, a truck loaded with hundreds
of pounds of provolone, cheddar, American and other cheeses burst into flames.
Nobody was injured, but traffic was snarled as Highway 80 was covered in melted
* Traffic reporters urged everyone to avoid the clogged
* It took police over 12 hours to wipe it all up, using little cubes of bread
on long, skinny forks.
Bill Clinton defended Hillary Thursday, saying he doesn't think she's "trying to
be a man," and he thinks being strong when it's needed and knowledgeable on
military matters doesn't mean she's "manly."
* Of course, he has to say that, or she'll kick his
* He must admit that when she hurls lamps and ashtrays,
not throw like a girl.
In light of Michael Vick's dogfighting indictments, Nike announced the
cancellation of a line of Zoom Vick V shoes set to hit stores next month, saying
they consider "any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent"
* That kind of cruelty is only for 12-year-old Asian
A Johns Hopkins study estimates that if obesity continues to grow at the same
rate, by 2015, 75 percent of adult Americans will be overweight and 41 percent
of adults will be obese.
* And you will always be sitting between two of them on
airplanes, whose seats will continue to get smaller.
A FOOTNOTE ON THE "WE'RE ALL GETTING OBESE" STORY
In the 1990s, the CDC changed the formula for determining if someone is
overweight or obese, and the number of "fat" people doubled overnight (and we
didn't even stay up all night eating Oreos). They based it on Body Mass Index,
a ratio of weight to height which might not be the most reliable indicator of
tubbiness, as the following list of pudgeballs and their BMI numbers from a
posting on the Free Republic website might indicate...
Barry Bonds: 6'2": 228 lbs: 29
David Boreanaz: 6'2": 218 lbs: 28
President Bush: 5'11": 191 lbs: 26
George Clooney: 5'11": 211 lbs: 29
Nic Cage: 6'1": 210 lbs: 28
Matt Damon: 5'11": 187 lbs: 26
Johnny Depp: 5'7": 190 lbs: 27
David Duchovny: 6'0": 212 lbs: 29
Vin Diesel: 6'2": 200 lbs: 26
Cheryl Ford: 6'3": 215 lbs:27
Harrison Ford: 6'1": 218 lbs: 29
Brendan Fraser: 6'3": 234 lbs: 29
Richard Gere: 5'11": 187 lbs: 26
Ethan Hawke: 5'9": 172 lbs: 25
Hugh Jackman: 6'2": 210 lbs: 27
Lebron James: 6'8": 240 lbs: 26
Dale Jarrett: 6'2": 200 lbs: 26
Bobby Labonte: 5'9": 170 lbs: 25
Nick Lachey: 5'10": 180 lbs: 26
Karl Malone: 6'9": 259 lbs: 28
Dr. Phil McGraw: 6'4": 240 lbs: 29
Mark McGuire (playing weight): 6'5": 250 lbs: 30
Donovan McNabb: 6'3": 240 lbs: 30
Yao Ming: 7'6": 310 lbs: 27
Brad Pitt: 6'0": 203 lbs: 28
Keanu Reeves: 6'1": 223 lbs: 29
Cal Ripken: 6'4": 210 lbs: 27
Andy Roddick: 6'2": 197 lbs: 25
Will Smith: 6'2": 210 lbs: 27
Sammy Sosa: 6'0": 220 lbs: 30
Denzel Washington: 6'0": 199 lbs: 27
Bruce Willis: 6'0": 200 lbs: 29
Billy Zane: 6'2": 210 lbs: 27
Tom Cruise: 5'7": 201 lbs: 31
Mel Gibson 5'9": 214 pounds: 32
Matt LeBlanc: 5'11": 218 lbs: 30
Steve McNair: 6'2": 235 lbs: 30
The Rock (Dwayne Johnson): 6'5": 275 lbs: 33
Arnold Schwarzenegger: 6'2": 257 lbs: 33
Sylvester Stallone: 5'9": 228 lbs: 34
Mike Tyson: 5'11 1/2": fighting weight between