Charlie's site is updated. Highlights include:

  • Emmanuelle Seigner spreading her legs on camera in 1991's Bitter Moon;
  • Marion Cotillard, newly famous for the Edith Piaf biopic, stark naked front and rear in a 1995 film, and sporting a very impressive rack. (This was filmed earlier than any of our previous caps of her.)

Charlie is now on holiday until late August.


* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Brandende Liefde


"Burning Love" is an earthy romantic comedy from the Netherlands - heavy on the comedy.

Two art students in Amsterdam want to win a scholarship to study in Paris and feel that learning French will give them an advantage. They find the perfect solution in an old woman who not only teaches French, but has influence over the scholarship selection. She lives with her ancient father, who is ill, and a couple, Monique van de Ven and her violinist husband. They are able to secure French lessons with her, and end up living in her attic in exchange for taking care of her father. The students' real reason for staying in her house, however, is to get close enough to Monique van de Ven to get her to pose nude.

As an idea of the humor, one of the artists is at the table for mid-morning coffee, a delightful Dutch custom, and the father is farting. The landlady is trying to ignore him. She offers milk to the artist, and starts pouring it into his coffee before he can say no. He starts stirring it, and it is curdled. He takes a drink anyway, just as the father farts loudly, and he sprays it all over the table.

Other events in this film will have you scratching your head, like Monique van de Ven masturbating one of the artists, or footage of Monique giving birth with inserts of an actual childbirth. Monique was clearly not pregnant for real, as she was married to cinematographer Jan de Bont from 1970 to 1987, and he had no children during that time. Given that fact, the prosthetic stomach was very well done.

It is interesting that the source novel was written by Jan Wolkers, who also wrote Spetters and Turks Fruit, both directed by Paul Verhoeven and photographed by de Bont. Monique appeared in Turks Fruit and in yet another film (Keetje Tippel) directed by Verhoeven and photographed by her husband de Bont. Although Verhoeven went on to great success in Hollywood (Showgirls, Basic Instinct, Starship Troopers, Total Recall and Robocop), as did de Bont (Die Hard, Basic Instinct), their earlier Dutch collaborations are believed by many, including me, to be their finest work. This film certainly suffers by comparison to the Verhoeven/de Bont catalogue, although it is probably funny enough if college high jinks and base physical humor appeal to you.

I will call it a C-, assuming you speak Dutch. (It's not for you if you cannot understand Dutch. Although it is available in an all region PAL DVD, it is in Dutch with no subtitles.)

IMDb readers say 5.7.

Monique van de Ven and Ellen Fogel show everything, and Zillah Emanuels shows breasts and buns. We also have male full frontal in two scenes.

It is carried in the US by Click on the image below for details.

Brandende Liefde (Burning Love)



Zilah Emanuels


Monique van de Ven


Ellen Fogel


the birth sequence








Epic Movie

The Time Machine is in for service, so we stay close to home. There are only two reasons to see Epic Movie, a mindless piece of crap.

Reason # 1 Audra Lynn who shows full frontal nudity.



Reason # 2 Heather Storm with boobs in bed with a fuzzy Fred Willard.

There, now you can just skip the movie.



The Dukes of Hazzard


A little bonus with Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazzard - no nudity of course, but she is sexy in her bikini.








Notes and collages

Almost Pregnant Hankster collaged "Sheena" just the other day, I'll wrap up my Tanya Roberts collage series here. up is a break in the Bond girl action: I just got a sweet DVD copy of "The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak" so I'll be collaging the ladies from that film next, especially Tawny Kitaen in her first film.









El Buque Maldito

El Buque Maldito is a Spanish movie in which, as a publicity stunt, a model agency sends 2 models
with a small boat out to sea to be found by a cruise. Instead a ghost ship finds them first. They come to the rescue but are too late and the rescuers get killed too, just for the fun of it.


Barbara Rey









Another 70's nudie classic with Edwige Fenech

Film clip here. (Tuna's caps can be found in his section or the Encyclopedia.)

The Garden

Ridiculous movie, but Melanie Griffith is very young and completely naked in this film clip.

Julie Benz in Dexter, Season 2, Episode 1. I have no idea how people get material like this, because this has not aired yet! Film clip here, sample to the right.
This may be an upgraded version of the Ashley Tisdale pic
Here's a RapidShare link for the entire 30-minute video "Anal Strap-on Adventures." This explicit material would normally be of no special interest, but this one stars Lorissa McComas and Julie Smith. Apparently they were conned into doing it by being told it was a private video for a rich client. Sample to the right.
And of course, the latest from the Crack Pack. This time it is Britney Spears swimming in her bra and underpants, surrounded by paparazzi.


The Comedy Wire

Early Thursday morning in Sacramento, California, a truck loaded with hundreds of pounds of provolone, cheddar, American and other cheeses burst into flames.  Nobody was injured, but traffic was snarled as Highway 80 was covered in melted cheese.

*  Traffic reporters urged everyone to avoid the clogged artery. 

*  It took police over 12 hours to wipe it all up, using little cubes of bread on long, skinny forks.

Bill Clinton defended Hillary Thursday, saying he doesn't think she's "trying to be a man," and he thinks being strong when it's needed and knowledgeable on military matters doesn't mean she's "manly."

* Of course, he has to say that, or she'll kick his ass.  

* He must admit that when she hurls lamps and ashtrays, she does
not throw like a girl.


In light of Michael Vick's dogfighting indictments, Nike announced the cancellation of a line of Zoom Vick V shoes set to hit stores next month, saying they consider "any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent"

* That kind of cruelty is only for 12-year-old Asian factory workers.

A Johns Hopkins study estimates that if obesity continues to grow at the same rate, by 2015, 75 percent of adult Americans will be overweight and 41 percent of adults will be obese.

* And you will always be sitting between two of them on airplanes, whose seats will continue to get smaller.


In the 1990s, the CDC changed the formula for determining if someone is overweight or obese, and the number of "fat" people doubled overnight (and we didn't even stay up all night eating Oreos).  They based it on Body Mass Index, a ratio of weight to height which might not be the most reliable indicator of tubbiness, as the following list of pudgeballs  and their BMI numbers from a posting on the Free Republic website might indicate...

Barry Bonds: 6'2": 228 lbs: 29
David Boreanaz: 6'2": 218 lbs: 28
President Bush: 5'11": 191 lbs: 26
George Clooney: 5'11": 211 lbs: 29
Nic Cage: 6'1": 210 lbs: 28
Matt Damon: 5'11": 187 lbs: 26
Johnny Depp: 5'7": 190 lbs: 27
David Duchovny: 6'0": 212 lbs: 29
Vin Diesel: 6'2": 200 lbs: 26
Cheryl Ford: 6'3": 215 lbs:27
Harrison Ford: 6'1": 218 lbs: 29
Brendan Fraser: 6'3": 234 lbs: 29
Richard Gere: 5'11": 187 lbs: 26
Ethan Hawke: 5'9": 172 lbs: 25
Hugh Jackman: 6'2": 210 lbs: 27
Lebron James: 6'8": 240 lbs: 26
Dale Jarrett: 6'2": 200 lbs: 26
Bobby Labonte: 5'9": 170 lbs: 25
Nick Lachey: 5'10": 180 lbs: 26
Karl Malone: 6'9": 259 lbs: 28
Dr. Phil McGraw: 6'4": 240 lbs: 29
Mark McGuire (playing weight): 6'5": 250 lbs: 30
Donovan McNabb: 6'3": 240 lbs: 30
Yao Ming: 7'6": 310 lbs: 27
Brad Pitt: 6'0": 203 lbs: 28
Keanu Reeves: 6'1": 223 lbs: 29
Cal Ripken: 6'4": 210 lbs: 27
Andy Roddick: 6'2": 197 lbs: 25
Will Smith: 6'2": 210 lbs: 27
Sammy Sosa: 6'0": 220 lbs: 30
Denzel Washington: 6'0": 199 lbs: 27
Bruce Willis: 6'0": 200 lbs: 29
Billy Zane: 6'2": 210 lbs: 27

Tom Cruise: 5'7": 201 lbs: 31
Mel Gibson 5'9": 214 pounds: 32
Matt LeBlanc: 5'11": 218 lbs: 30
Steve McNair: 6'2": 235 lbs: 30
The Rock (Dwayne Johnson): 6'5": 275 lbs: 33
Arnold Schwarzenegger: 6'2": 257 lbs: 33
Sylvester Stallone: 5'9": 228 lbs: 34
Mike Tyson: 5'11 1/2": fighting weight between
218-235: 30-32