Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Deadwood - Season 1 (2004)
Actually not all of season 1. There are six
discs in the Season 1 set, but Blockbuster didn't have #4 in stock, and #3 was
damaged. So this is the nudity from episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 11, and 12, but not
the episodes in between. I'll review them ASAP.
This is really a marvelous series. It holds one's attention with interesting
characters, great casting, and some storylines that develop along with the
growth of the town in the 1870's. It does not strive for absolute historical
accuracy in every detais, but it does try to show modern audiences what it would
have been like to live out there. It delivers the flavor of the experience,
albeit sometimes reinvented in ways we can readily grasp. In fact, this
show is too good. It stole away too much of my day. I was planning to scan the
episodes in fast forward for the nudity, and I got completely hooked on the
ongoing developments in the plot.
Episode 1 - Paula Malcomson
Episode 2 - Paula Malcomson
Episode 2 - anonymous
Episode 3 - no nudity
Episode 4 - no nudity
Episode 5 - anonymous
Episode 11 - no nudity
Episode 12 - Molly Parker
Words and pictures from Hankster:
A little variety Today.
First up is a "Babe in Bondage" and - surprise - it's a well known star:
Nicole Kidman in "Birthday Girl"
have Nicole tied up and gagged three different times, though fully clothed.
Actually she is naked in the first one, but not a thing shows. Then we have
some legs & upskirts and in the final cap some rally nice bun views.
Moving on to the "Hankster Light" section for today, we have
Jacqueline Lovell in "Lolita 2000"
done some mainstream flicks (last week we saw her in "Head of the Family"), and
in this soft core flick the lovely Jackie does a strip that shows us every inch
of her luscious body
Caps and comments by Dann:
first season of one of my favorite TV shows was just released on the DVD
Tales from the Crypt: The Complete First Season (1989). It contains six
episodes, but unfortunately, and despite what you may have read on other sites,
only one episode contained nudity, and that was "The Man Who Was Death".
Even so, all the episodes are great and worth watching.
The Man Who Was Death tells of a state executioner who had been
happily frying people in the electric chair when suddenly capital punishment was
outlawed in the state. After many years of faithful service, he was dumped by
his warden, who felt he would not be able to get along with inmates as a regular
guard, because he had cooked so many of them.
Bored and annoyed, he sets out to make things right by executing people who
are acquitted of murder, unjustly he feels. Naturally, there's a nice gruesome
twist at the end, making this and all the episodes a lot of fun.
"Tales from the Crypt: The Man Who Was Death"
|Slaughterhouse of the Rising Sun (2004)
|Anthony Zimmer (2005)
Ling, falling out as usual
Tuna's condition is stable. Nothing new to report. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is email@example.com
Pat Reeder - The Comedy Wire
Pat's comments in yellow:
Shack Attack - Rutgers University found that divorce is on the decline in
America, but the annual marriage rate is declining, too. Since 1970, there's
been a 50 percent drop in marriages, from 76.5 per 1,000 unmarried women to
39.9. The reason is that more couples than ever are just shacking up. The
report's co-author says it's not good news for children or family stability, but
our society is shifting from marriage to cohabitation.
* Ironically, the only people who still want to get married and form stable
* You know what they say: "Why would a man buy milk when he can live with the
cow for free?"
* On the bright side, this might make divorce lawyers suicidal.
PAM AND TOMMY LEE TO REMARRY AGAIN
No, Those Are Gray Tattoos - The New York Post's Page Six claims that Tommy
Lee popped the question again to Pamela Anderson last Friday in Las Vegas,
and she agreed to marry him for the third time. He reportedly gave her a
black diamond ring with two gray diamonds on the side.
* And she got "Tommy" tattooed on her butt again, only this time, it's a
* Thank God, we have Pam and Tommy to help raise the declining marriage
* It's not love: they just really need the money from a new honeymoon
* The Motley Crue reunion convinced Tommy that he can stand behind around
anybody if he's getting enough sex out of the deal.
PEOPLE DON'T WORRY ABOUT LEAVING INHERITANCES
I'll Leave Them My Visa Bill - According to a study by researchers at England's
Bath and Bristol Universities, two out of three adults don't worry about leaving
an inheritance to their kids when they die. Instead, they plan to use their
money to enjoy life. This isn't just a baby boomer trend: a majority of current
retirees also rejected the notion that they should be careful with their money
so they could leave something behind.
* So baby boomers aren't leaving anything because they're not GETTING anything.
* They spent all their money on bumper stickers that read, "I'm spending my
* Hell, I don't even plan to leave the little monsters a habitable planet!
* This is bad news both for their kids and for Anna Nicole Smith.
* The good news for kids: you no longer have to visit grandpa in the nursing
MAN AVOIDS JAIL BY BECOMING A WOMAN
Only Works Once - Sretko Ickov of Dragor, Bulgaria, found an unusual way to
escape a three-year jail sentence for theft. His case took over a year to
come to trial, and during that time, he got a sex-change operation. Under
Bulgarian law, this makes him a different person than the one charged with
the crime, so he could no longer be prosecuted. He/she told the court
she'd always been unhappy as a man anyway, and plans to start a new,
crime-free life. She's even fallen in love and plans to be married.
* As soon as the guy gets out on parole.
* She blames her life of crime on too much testosterone.
* Frankly, I think I'd rather lose three years.
* Can't they at least charge her as an accomplice?...Or an accessorizer
after the fact?
* It was risky: if this hadn't worked, she would've gone to an all-male
PORN WATCHERS FORCED TO DO SIT-UPS
Ow! My Eye! - The Hindustan Times reports that police in Balasore, India,
couldn't drive out the porn theaters, so they decided to crack down on the
audience instead. They stopped a showing of a porn movie and forced about
200 all-male viewers, some as young as 17, to vow never to watch porn
again. Then, to make it more embarrassing, they called the teenagers'
parents, who joined a crowd of onlookers as the cops made the porn fans do
10 sit-ups each in a town square as part of a public shaming.
* Exactly what part of them was sitting up?
* To shame them even more, they had to strip naked to do the sit-ups...A
gay porn producer filmed the whole thing.
* The cops tried making them do squat-thrusts, but they liked that.
* Maybe we should try publicly shaming the people who MAKE Hollywood
MAN INVENTS SUPER-FAST BEER TAP
He Has A Good Head - The Wall Street Journal reports that as a college
senior, Matthew Younkle dreamed of inventing a faster-flowing beer tap. A
decade later, his invention, the Turbo Tap, is in about a thousand bars,
restaurants and ballparks. It reduces foaming so beer can flow into the
glass twice as fast. Younkle said creating it required lots of R&D, or
"research and drinking."
* But now that he can pour beer twice as fast, R&D stands for "ralphing
* Oprah was right: the secret to getting rich is to do something you love.
* Of course, science will never be able to develop a tap that pours beer
as fast as a college senior can drink it.
COURT ORDERS BOY TO BE A JUVENILE DELINQUENT
HA-Ha! - A 15-year-old boy in Northumberland, England, was the subject of
repeated complaints to the police until he was finally hit with a court
order. But due to a typo, the word "without" was used in place of "with,"
so the order says he'll be breaking the law if he goes out in public
without any alcohol on him or without using threatening behavior likely to
harass, alarm or distress the public. A frustrated police spokesman said
it took a long time to get this kid into court, only to have them order him
* Damn liberal judges!
* On the bright side, it's the first court order he's ever complied with.
* So now, he's free to terrorize the town, and the paralegal is in jail.
WOMAN GETS NAKED IN COURT
Does She Do Bondage? - Nicole Babb was in a Miami-Dade County, Florida,
bond hearing Friday, when she suddenly stripped naked, raised her hands in
the air, then got down on all fours. The bailiffs eventually covered her
and took her away. The judge set her bail at $5,000 on a charge of
* She stole the identity of Madonna, circa 1986.
* But with all the money the spectators threw, she was able to make bail.
* After this, it'll be really hard for her to pose as "Mike Smith."
READING MAXIM MAGAZINE VIOLATES PAROLE
Miami Vice - In the latest crackdown on sex offenders in Florida, a parolee
in Miami was jailed for six days and may return to prison after police
searched his home and found a sexy calendar, a racy poster and some copies
of Maxim magazine. His lawyer is arguing that Maxim is "far from obscene,"
but officials say this violated his ban on possessing "sexually
* So they sent him to a jail cell, where there were Penthouse posters on
* The lawyer tried to argue that Maxim is "mentally stimulating," but he
couldn't keep a straight face.
* That's what we need to do with sex offenders: leave them no harmless
* Good thing the Clinton years are over: he couldn't even buy a
TRABANT FUMES IN A CAN
Old Car Smell - Good news for East Germans who miss Trabants, the tiny,
smoky, clanking cars that Communists used to wait years to obtain.
Thorsten Jahn of Berlin is cashing in on Soviet-era nostalgia by selling
"Trabi," the canned smell of noxious Trabant fumes. He creates it by
putting cotton balls in his Trabant exhaust pipe then canning the balls.
It's selling well at $4.80 (US) a can. Jahn said he wanted to preserve the
past, and Trabant smell "is something very special and scarce nowadays."
* Unless you live next door to a garbage incinerator.
* Wouldn't it be easier just to sell bottles of Cher's perfume? Same
* Some people really miss that warm, drowsy feeling of slow carbon
* He's made almost enough money to buy a new BMW.
SPIELBERG PLANNING "E.T." SEQUEL
"ET 2, Brute?" - Drew Barrymore says that Steven Spielberg thinks the world
needs a "feel good" movie now, so he talked to her about starring in an
"E.T." sequel. In it, the alien returns to ask a grown-up Gertie for help
in saving his family from extinction.
* And when she can't help, the aliens destroy the Earth.
* How could this be a feel-good movie if I've already got a bad feeling
* If you want a feel-good movie about a cute, waddling little creature
struggling to survive, see that penguin movie.
ROYAL PRINCESS MADONNA
She's Now Grace Kelly - In the new Vogue, Madonna poses for elegant photos
with her family, feeding the chickens at her English estate, and says she's
no longer the person she was. She said it's hard to watch "Truth or Dare"
because "I was a very selfish person. You go through periods of your life
where the world does revolve around you, but you can't live your whole life
that way. On the other hand, I kind of admire my spunk and directness."
* And her husband still admires her bottle-swallowing technique.
* Thank goodness, at her English estate with its staff of 40, life doesn't
revolve around her.
* She's right: the person she used to be had a forehead that moved.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
The Official Devil's Rejects Site now has 17 clips from
Frozen water in a Martian Crater
Woodward and Bernstein, fresh from their reunion tour
discuss cover-ups and political machinations with Jon
The Daily Show's Samantha Bee outlines our nation's
sophisticated network of operatives modeled after a
The Daily Show - more Rovemania.
More top-notch reportage from Weekly World News:
"TEXAS -- the state that executes more killers than any
other -- has decided to save money by using other
prisoners to gas murderers to death with their farts."
Letterman's Top Ten Slogans For The New Gay Soda ...
"Buy it in the bottle, get it in the can"
The Weekend Warrior's box office predictions for the
- The top 12 did $147.4m in 2003, and $138.9 in
2004. The general trend has been about 5% above 2003
(2004 was crazy and unpredictable, and useless for
modeling), so a reasonable expectation for the Top 12
would be $154-$155, which is consistent with last
week's $155.6. Weekend Warrior is calling for $141.2
million for the top 10, which would be about $146 for
the Top 12, which seems about ten million light to me.
- His forecasts for the carry-overs are all
reasonable, so my guess is that he may be about $10
million low on the new releases.
- There are essentially five new releases this week.
The Island and Bad New Bears will be debuting on about
300 screens each. The new Rob Zombie flick will be on
about 1500 screens. Hustle and Flow will clear 1000,
and that Penguin thing will expand to 500 and hit many
markets for the first time.
- I would guess that the penguin thing will make the
Top 10. It was #12 last week, and will be in four
times as many theaters. Word of mouth is not just
good, but downright gushing!
This week's movies (expanding to 500 screens):
March of the Penguins - 93% good reviews. And not
just good reviews, but GREAT reviews. Who would have
guessed that a Penguin documentary would be a kick-ass
movie which has been filling theaters in limited
This week's movies:
The Bad News Bears - 60% good reviews. While
conceding that this is a bad idea, I have to admit that
the previews were pretty funny, as Billy Bob essentially
plays Bad Santa again.
This week's movies:
The Devil's Rejects - 82% positive reviews. None of
the major reviewers has weighed in yet, but this quote
probably tells you all you need to know: "In the genre
of low-budget hillbilly slasher movies, it's a
This week's movies:
The Island - 80% good reviews. I'm certainly shocked
to see 80% positive reviews for a big, noisy Michael Bay
movie. That number will undoubtedly decrease, but it
still seems to be an indicator that the movie is OK.
This week's movies
Hustle & Flow - 87% good reviews. Looks to me like
one of those terrific movies which will have to struggle
for box office.
FilmJerk's invaluable Early Report for July 19
Dave Barry's nominee as headline of the day:
"Homo up for new challenge"
- I know that strange last names are not really that
funny, especially to the owners, but I'm sure glad I
didn't have to go through school with that one.
The trailer for Two for the Money
- Two For the Money is a drama of high stakes set in
the adrenalized world of wheeler-dealers whose
fortunes are won and lost betting on sports. Matthew
McConaughey stars as Brandon Lane, a former college
football star whose uncanny ability to predict the
outcome of a game introduces him to an unexpected new
career when his gridiron glory is sidelined by a
crushing injury. Brandon's talent makes him a prime
candidate for recruitment by Walter Abraham (Al Pacino),
the head of one of the biggest sports consulting
operations in the country. Walter hires the small town
ex-athlete and grooms him into a shrewd front man.
Brandon soon begins to enjoy his status as a Manhattan
golden boy and finds himself growing comfortable with
Walter's high-rolling lifestyle. The surrogate
father/surrogate son relationship fattens Walter's
business and personal accounts...until Brandon's
golden touch begins to falter at the same time that
Walter's manipulation of his protege crosses the line.
With millions of dollars on the line, Brandon and
Walter engage in a deadly game of con versus con, each
one trying to maintain the upper hand while everyone
in their world, including Walter's wife, Toni (Rene
Russo), are drawn into the escalating duel-where
ultimately everything isn't what it appears to be."
The first trailer for An Unfinished Life , the new
film from Lasse Hallstrom, starring Redford, Morgan
Freeman, and ... (wait for it) ... J-Lo.
- "Set against the rugged ranchlands of Wyoming, 'An
Unfinished Life' is the story of a modern-day Western
family, as stoic as they are divided, learning the
true meaning of forgiveness. Robert Redford stars as
Einar Gilkyson, a tough-skinned, retired rancher who
long ago turned his back on memories. Still in shock
from his only son's death a decade ago, Einar has let
his ranch fall into ruin along with his marriage. Now,
Einar spends his days caring only for his hired hand,
and last trusted friend, Mitch (Morgan Freeman), who
was gravely injured in an encounter with a grizzly
bear. Einar intends to live out his days in this
heartbroken solitude... until the very person he
blames for his son's accident comes to town: his
daughter-in-law Jean (Jennifer Lopez). Jean shows up
broke, on the run and with a girl name Griff (Becca
Gardner), who she swears is the granddaughter Einar
never knew he had. Suddenly, Einar's quiet life is
turned upside down as anger and accusations resurface.
But slowly, miraculously, 11 year-old Griff's
curiosity about Western life, and her longing for
family and a father figure, begin to chip away at the
stone that has become Einar's heart - opening up the
way for unexpected connection, adventure, mercy and
"I took an eighty-year-old taxidermied monkey, set it on
fire in the pool and filmed it from beneath with an
underwater camera. 'It was beautiful."
Oh joy of joy. Oh dream of dreams.
The Smurfs will be featured in a 3-D CGI animation film.
Very illuminating article. I didn't know that the Smurfs
are Belgian! Has anyone ever seen them eating waffles?
An entire blog dedicated entirely to mocking and
debunking Morgan Spurlock.
Morgan Spurlock Watch.
- I'm not sure whether I mentioned this before, but
just in case you aren't already aware of it, Suoper
Size Me is basically bunk. Oh, yeah, it's true, but
meaningless, and draws the wrong conclusions. If you
repeat Spurlock's experiment in every detail, but
drink diet soft drinks instead, you will actually lose
weight, as several journalists have already noted.
What Super Size Me actually proves is this: no matter
what you eat, even if you live off celery and vitamin
pills, you will gain weight if you simply drink enough
soft drinks to make your calorie intake greater than
your calorie burn. If you take the apple and tuna fish
diet that Christian Bale used to lose 60+ pounds for
The Machinist, and add a dozen 16 oz bottles of Pepsi
per day, you will actually gain weight.
ROVE BLOWS SURPRISE PARTY FOR FIRST LADY ...
President "Hopping Mad" Over Advisor's Latest Leak
Pamela Anderson is reportedly set to wed Tommy Lee for
the third time. They have reportedly told friends
the wedding would happen "this week."
Buffy wants to show her breasts. No problem for me.
She can even come down to the house and show 'em to me
personally, if that will make her happy. Anything to
Coming Soon! reports from Comic-Con International 2005
NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK DESTROYS AN ENTIRE RAINFOREST
... 650 pages, tens of million of copies. You do the
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
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