"The Hollywood Knights"
The Hollywood Knights (1980) is about a car club in Beverly Hills in 1965 that is stuck in the 50s. It is more or less about the end of the era of hot rods and rock and roll. It all takes place on Halloween night, and tells several stories, including the closing of the drive-inn that is their hangout, a fat nerd, a love story between Michelle Pfeiffer and Tony Danza, a member of the club headed to Vietnam, and the Beverly Hills association responsible for shutting down the drive-inn. It is full of crude gags and 50s style pranks, like pissing in a punch bowl, hiding in the ladies room taping a conversation, then playing it on a PA system, and torturing the jerk cops who kept harassing them.
The music was mainly from the 50s, but was one of the highlights of the film. It was odd for me seeing 1965 events through the eyes of 50s characters. We have breast exposure from Dawn Clark and Kim Hopkins, and bush from Michelle Drake as a cheerleader who forgot to put her panties on before her routine. IMDb readers have this at 5.5 of 10. This is my sort of film, but I enjoyed it much more the first time through. Most of the pranks are rather mean spirited. The hot rods were amazing pieces of mechanical artistry, and were rented from the owners of these classic hot rods. This is a C+. Those who always like High School irreverent comedies will enjoy it.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Late Last Night (1999):
Late Last Night is an offbeat comedy scripted and directed by Steven
Brill, who also wrote and directed Little Nicky, then took the helm
with another man's script for Mr. Deeds.
Don't be scared off by that resumé. Although it was an earlier Brill
work, and was a non-theatrical release, Late Last Night probably
comes closer to being a good movie than either of those two high
budget Adam Sandler vehicles. In fact, Late Last Night has some very
positive elements, although they just didn't quite manage to
coalesce into a solid whole.
Emilio Estevez plays a man whose wife has left him. He genuinely
loves her, and didn't see the split coming, so his reaction is a
combination of hating her and hating himself. On the day she loads
her u-haul and moves out, Estevez heads out on an extended bender.
He begins by drowning his sorrows in an alkie bar, but that turns
out to be the wrong place to turn for a sympathetic ear, since the
jaded regulars and the bartender simply bait him in order to get him
to bare his soul - all so they can make fun of him. He realizes that
he has to have a sympathetic ear, but dozens of phone calls prove
unproductive until he reaches a mysterious ex-friend played by
Weber leads Estevez into a crazed evening on the wild side, buying
crack from strangers, picking up coke whores, attending orgies,
stealing cars, breaking into hotel suites, playing midnight golf by
the headlights of a cadillac - a veritable frat boy's wet dream of
an evening. Weber says and does everything that Estevez has only
read about during his conservative marriage. This works on one
level, at least temporarily, until we realize that Weber's behavior
crosses over into the surreal and we realize that he is not a real
person at all, but just some kind of doppelganger who has been
summoned from the Estevez subconscious to do and say the things that
are impossible for Estevez's timid conscious personality.
The time when we realize that Weber is an alter ego is about the
time when the movie stops working, because after a certain point we
just don't know how to assess Weber's behavior. (At one point Weber
answers a question by breaking into a Broadway song and dance
number, using the local coke whores as a back-up chorus. He's pretty
damned good, by the way!) Are we to assume that Estevez
actually did say the words spoken by the Weber character? Or are we
to think that Weber only represents what Estevez would like to have
said, and that Estevez actually remains timid in these situations?
Is he even in these situations, or is it some kind of dream? Does
Estevez himself know that Weber is imaginary? He seems not to - but
he also seems so drunk and stoned that our interpretation of events
is polluted by his own altered consciousness. In short, we simply
can't tell what is happening and what is not, and this makes the
author's thought process hard to follow.
The end of the film involves some philosophical and sentimental
reconciliation between the two halves of the Estevez personality, a
change in tone which is marked by more than a hint of poetry, the
kind of ruminations that might actually happen at the end of a
frenetic evening, when the bulk of the drugs have worn off and quiet
sadness has replaced the frenzy.
Anyway, the film is not so bad at all. If it doesn't quite work, it
is not because it shot too low, but because it shot for the stars
now and then, and didn't quite have enough thrust for lift-off. I
think it could have been quite an enjoyable movie if it had not been
so ambitious, had been more straightforward, has eschewed the
gimmicks of uncertain reality and occasional surrealism. I think I
would have liked it much better if the film had used an omniscient
POV instead of the Estevez POV, so that I could have understood what
was actually happening in the real world, which could then in turn
have allowed me to understand when and why Estevez resorted to
alternate internal realities.
Kelly Monaco (1,
some coke ho (1,
The Big Bounce (2004):
What the hell went wrong here?
- The story idea was fine. It was an Elmore Leonard story, like
the ones that drove Get Shorty and Out of Sight.
- The starring cast is solid: Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinese, Owen Wilson.
- The script layered in some
colorful minor characters played by Willie Nelson, Harry Dean Stanton, Bebe
Neuwirth, Charlie Sheen, and Vinnie Jones.
- There are some crazy cameos. Remember Have a
Little Tea With Goldie from the Smothers Brothers show? Goldie is
in this movie. Remember NFL running back Tony Dorsett? He's here
- There's a little nudity from sexy young Sara
It should result in a frothy and pleasant
You would think so, as I did. I like all that
stuff, and was eager to see this film.
You'd be just as wrong as I was.
Owen Wilson tries to do a Bob Hope - to play one
of those characters who is technically part of the movie, but is
really apart from it, commenting on it. He doesn't talk aside to the
audience, but he never takes any situation as seriously as he
should. After all, it's only a movie.
That premise doesn't really work.
Throughout the film, the audience is left
scratching its collective head, wondering how much to take seriously
and how much is in his mind or something. The movie can't decide, so
some scenes end up playing out as surrealism. An example: Wilson gets caught burying a box full
of stolen wallets by another character, Freeman, who plays the local
judge. Then a cell phone goes off inside the buried box. The judge
witnesses the entire burial scene and hears the phone, but doesn't
seem to care. Owen knows he's been caught, but acts completely unsurprised when
the judge brushes it off.
When we find out that the judge is the real criminal
mastermind on the island, we can look back on that scene and realize
why he ignored the obvious evidence of Wilson's felony, but the scene just
doesn't work in the moment. We may be able to accept it, but the
Wilson character should not. He should be thinking, "Wait a minute.
Why is this judge letting me get away with a felony right
under his nose, when he knows I have a long record of B&E? Why is he pretending not to care?"
Wilson should know something stinks. But no-o-o. Wilson just
accepts it, and continues to march blindly forward because, like a
Bob Hope character, he knows he's in a crime movie, and he needs to
keep moving forward toward the actual crime.
So is it all supposed to be a comedy? Well sort
of. And it's all supposed to be a crime noir. Tough balancing act. It is possible to
balance the two, as other Elmore Leonard movies have shown, but it
requires talent and subtlety. (Soderbergh directed Out of Sight.)
This entire film is lacking in both energy and focus.
Sinese, as the rich "mark", has to end up a one-dimensional baddie,
because he is given too little opportunity to develop a character.
Bebe Neuwirth, as Sinese's rich and perennially drunk wife, seems to
be acting in a different film, one requiring Dudley Moore in drag. The Charlie
Sheen character has way too much screen time, even though he seems
completely unnecessary to the plot and could have been written out
altogether. Owen Wilson is the same as Owen Wilson
always is, and that was just fine. After all he was playing a laid-back surfer and
occasional petty criminal, a role Wilson was born to play! But
Wilson needs an intense or high-energy foil to
balance his laid-back charm. Her needs Jackie Chan or Steve Buscemi
or somebody like that. Instead, he is paired up with Morgan Freeman, the
only actor in the world who is even more nonchalant than Wilson
himself. Their lifeless
interaction consists entirely of mellow indirection,
non-confrontation, and shrugging off things they should take notice
It's all supposed to come together at the end,
when the film finally leads up to a big caper, but that heist is completely
mismanaged and mistimed by the writer and director, so that the
twists and revelations in the denouement are both confusing and
lacking in tension.
Bottom line: skip it. Major disappointment.
- Sara Foster (1,
141 ways to say "drunk"
Nicole Richie is forced to flash her breasts in the Reno airport.
The PUSSY SNORKEL: "The Pussy Snorkel allows a man to
continue breathing while performing oral sex on a woman in a spa,
bathtub or even a bowl of green Jell-O." WARNING: it has not been
tested on other colors of Jell-o.
The trailer for Stage Beauty (October 29th): "Actor
Edward 'Ned' Kynaston (Billy Crudup) may well be the most desired
man in all of London. The Restoration is in full swing, and
enthusiastic audiences of aristocrats and commoners pack the
theatres that were shuttered during the Puritans' joyless rule.
With only men permitted to tread the boards, the greatest ardor is
reserved for the actor who is the complete 'female stage beauty' -
and indisputably, Ned Kynaston is that actor. Lusted after by
women and men alike, Ned commands all the perks of a star; at the
same time, he is a dedicated actor who runs lines with his stage
dresser Maria (Claire Danes), who quietly adores him. Every night,
Ned's death scene as Desdemona in 'Othello' stops the show. But
the winds of change are blowing - and they sound like the rustling
of women's skirts. Ironically, it is Maria who ushers in a new era
with her pseudonymous portrayal of Desdemona in an after-hours pub
production of 'Othello.' After years of men-as-women, Maria is a
sensation, a novelty whose time has come. King Charles II (Rupert
Everett), prodded by his saucy, stage-struck mistress Nell Gwynn (Zoe
Tapper), not only overturns the ban on actresses but also
prohibits men from playing female roles. Overnight, Ned's career
is ruined as a host of fledgling actresses take on the parts that
he once owned body and soul. Ned is headed for a has-been's
twilight in tawdry attractions - that is, until Maria takes it
upon herself to make an actor of him again. Finally, the masks
fall away to reveal Ned and Maria's true feelings, but not before
Ned undergoes a profound inner journey to discover his complete
The drinking habits of the cruel, powerful, and often times very
loaded. "Emmanuel Kant was a real pissant ... "
Finally!! A new game for your Commodore 64 or leftover 286
processor. If you aren't familiar with the site, it is
hard to explain the offbeat humor and pop culture satire of
HomestarrRunner.com. To get the general idea, try
this parody of Japanese cartoons, as explained by their
resident masked Mexican wrestler, Strongbad, who answers their
e-mail. (I told you it was hard to explain.)
EGM's 10 Naughtiest Video Games of All Time
- For those of you who just can't get enough reality:
USA Today's guide to summer reality TV. (It also fills
you in on anything you missed.)
Did John Wayne die of cancer caused by a radioactive movie set?
Linda Ronstadt not only got booed, she got the boot after lauding
filmmaker Michael Moore and his new movie 'Fahrenheit 9/11' during
a performance at the Aladdin.
Stop alien abductions and mind control, with the help of
stopabductions.com: "THIS WEBSITE TELLS YOU HOW TO MAKE
A THOUGHT SCREEN HELMET, THE MATERIALS AND TOOLS YOU NEED TO MAKE
ONE, AND WHERE YOU CAN OBTAIN THE MATERIALS"
- Now bear with me for a minute, but if I were an alien
seeking to control your mind, I would create a web site which
would tell you FALSELY how to ward off my mind control rays, so
you would think you were safe. Then, voila, "all your thought
are belong to us".
- Just sayin'.
Who are Edmund Reade and Elizabeth Cooke? They were a
married couple who lived in Shakespearian England. Like
Shakespeare's Banquo, although they were not destined to be kings,
the Reades would sire kings, after a fashion. Their daughter
Margaret is the
of George W Bush, and their daughter Elizabeth is the
great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother of John
Kerry! Bush and Kerry are something like ninth cousins twice
Playboy's 50 Imagemakers - memorable photos from the history of
Playboy Magazine. Naked women, comedians, athletes,
musicians, playmates, lifestyle, a little bit of everything. Quite
a bit of nudity.
- Commies for Kerry?
In the Vietnamese Communist War Remnants Museum, a photograph of
John Kerry hangs in a room dedicated to anti-Vietnam-war
An online preview of SCIFI.COM's "Scare Tactics"
Democrats aren't amused by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's use of the
mocking term "girlie men" to describe some lawmakers.
The spineless wimps in question claim he is misogynist,
homophobic, and what-have-you. Fuckin' pussies.
Britney Spears is fighting mad over a New York Post report that
the pop princess was boozing in broad daylight. Turns
out she was drinking ginseng in the picture.
Timed with the release of The Bourne Supremacy, Latino Review
interviews Matt Damon.
- You've heard of Mr October (Reggie Jackson)?
Well sir, Will Smith is Mr. July. The success of I,
Robot marks the fourth time that Smith has toplined a July film
which opened with a weekend of $50 million or more.
- I saw "I, Robot" over the weekend, and it was a much better
film than I had expected. The previews had led me to expect far
too many CGI battle scenes with improbable action. There was
some of that, and the final fight scene was irritating in that
regard, but the movie had a lot more as well - a detective plot,
some mysteries to reveal, some humor, and some philosophical
depth. Most important, the film is more thoughtful and far more
soulful than I had been led to expect. It does have to
acknowledge a certain debt to Blade Runner, because it treats a
lot of the same themes and uses some similar characters and
situations, but it is not really derivative of the earlier film
at all. It exists in a completely different world. Compared to
Blade Runner, it is less poetry, more popcorn.
Screen beauty Natalie Portman now says she will consider stripping
nude on film if she's offered the right situation. (She
once vowed never to do any screen nudity.)
- World Net Daily claims:
GOP convention protests funded by Kerry's wife. Well,
not exactly. Don't muster up any mental pictures of Mrs Kerry
carrying a briefcase full of money to meet with some anarchists in
the dead of night.
- You see, Kerry's wife oversees the Howard Heinz Endowment.
Through that endowment, she directed money in the past to a
group called the Tides Foundation. The Tides Foundation in turn
gave some money to a group called The International Action
Center, which is headed up by former Attorney General Ramsey
Clark. Clark's group, in turn, sponsored a group called United
for Peace and Justice and some smaller groups (including The
Ruckus Society, which is supposed to be an anarchist group)
which are allegedly organizing some protests at the GOP
- Oh, yeah, did I mention that Mrs Kerry cut off that funding
to the Tides Foundation in 2001?
- So the correct headline would read. "Some unknown portion of
the money given by Mrs Kerry in 1995-2001 to one group was given
to another group, and that second group gave an unknown portion
of that unknown portion to additional groups, and three years
after Mrs Kerry's last donation, those last groups are involved
in protests against the GOP convention in 2004". That's somewhat
less dramatic than the original headline.
- Hey, this is from Norway and it is almost a news story.Right-wing
politicians want to ban Islam in Norway. This will
affect both Kareem and his wife.
Elephants and Rhinos really get along well. I mean REALLY well.
CNN video- Late night comics comment on the touchy-feely
CNN Video reports on the weekend at the box office.
- Comics on Duty.
Comedians serving in Iraq.
Lose that boner. It's a man in Halle Berry's catsuit.
Nude man caught covered in nacho cheese.
Meat hook dangling craze mystifies police.
MovieJuice! takes a humorous look at "I, Robot", aka ArtyD2
46 year old Sharon Stone has stunned Hollywood by showing off her
toned bod in a photo shoot for Rolling Stone magazine.
- The early embarrassments of star careers.
As Cameron Diaz has discovered, old roles come back to haunt you
The Adriana Lima Picture Pages
- Oh, you wacky terrorist, you. Nutbags claim:
If you ever use royalty-free movies or songs, you are supporting
al-Qaida! "One counterfeiting case has been reported in
the media, where there are alleged connections to al-Qaida". Or,
as I like to call it, al-Kazaa. Now here is the case: since 9/11
there have been, what, a billion instances of intellectual
property theft, counting mp3s and movies and Asian brand
knock-offs? Maybe more than a billion. Of those, exactly one has a
tenuous connection to al-Qaida, and that was an ALLEGED
connection. There it is. The evidence is right in front of your
face, and you choose to ignore it.
The HBO miniseries Angels in America won the top prize, program of
the year, from the nation's TV critics in weekend ceremonies.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Ever the cute and ditzy
girl next door type, likeable Teri Garr always seemed like someone
who could be your own girlfriend. This is pretty much the extent of
her career nudity, but it's good stuff.
In her physical prime
in the 50s and early 60s, sexy Lee Remick was born a few years too
early to deliver much screen nudity. She certainly delivered about
all she could by covering her magnificent breasts with only a thin
gauze in this scene from 1968's No Way to Treat a lady
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Another day of the Ghost's Summer O' Skinemax. Today it's the last of the video clips from the 1995 softcore flick "Forbidden Games".
First up, Ashlie Rhey bares breasts, bum and possibly some pubes in a pseudo-sex scene (links 2-6, #1 has bikini views only).
These next vids are a continuation of the Ashlie Rhey scene above. This time Rhey is joined by "Son of the Beach" babe Amy Weber. The scene is dull and the exposure is limited as the two ladies tie up some dude. However, Weber fans may think it's worth a look since she hasn't given up much nudity and we do see some breast and bum views here.
For those Rasslin' fans out there who remember "GLOW: Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling", Becky Mullen's character was 'Sally, the Farmer's Daughter'. Here she is topless and showing some partial rear nudity.
Finally, Griffin Drew and a couple of other unknowns do some topless sunbathing and rub lotion on each other.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
Sometimes you see a movie and you enjoy it even though you know it's absolute garbage. 2000's Gangland is such a movie. I enjoyed the storyline and action even though I know it's pretty pathetic, and the theme has been done numerious times, and much better.
Set in 2010 Los Angeles after a nuclear war and the plague have decimated the planet, a gang has become the ruling power, and terrorizes everything in their path. A scientist with a possible cure for the plague tries to reach the plague-untouched mid-west to give them the cure. He is aided by two men who have had their families killed by the gang.
This thing has run on cable a million times, and bad as it is, I enjoyed the lame action/acting and predictable story, but be warned - it's pretty bad.
|Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of Pam topless in scenes from the movie everyone loves to make fun of, "Barb Wire" (1996).
|The Eastern-Euro babe bares absolutely everything in scenes from the Tinto Brass movie "Trasgredire" (2000).
Barbara Alyn Woods
|Señor Skin 'caps from the 1993 movie "Flesh and Bone", starring Dennis Quaid, James Caan and Meg Ryan. Paltrow and Ryan both have topless scenes, while B-movie actress Woods bares a bit of bum.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ARNOLD NEWS: STAMPS AND GIRLY MEN
I'm At Ze Rally To PUMP...You Up! - Arnold Schwarzenegger refused to
apologize for calling Democratic California lawmakers "girly men" at a GOP
rally Saturday. He said those "girly men" don't have the guts to tell
voters they're delaying the budget by catering to special interests like
unions and trial lawyers. Democrats called the insult sexist, homophobic
and "very, very insensitive."
Wow! They ARE girly men!
When told Arnold wouldn't apologize, they cried into their pillows all
Then the union bosses and trial lawyers told them to quit whining, and
they said, "Okay."
California legislators are so touchy-feely, Michael Jackson calls them
Mmm! Tastes Like Ham! - Arnold's homeland of Austria introduced a postage
stamp with his face on it.
But if you lick it, Arnold will call you a girly man.
McCARTNEY THE DIVA
Help! - The London Mirror claims Paul McCartney is turning into a diva on
his current tour. He reportedly threw a fit when a vase of lilies was left
in his Madrid hotel room that weren't the exact type he likes from a
certain florist. A staunch vegan, he also bans all meat and meat
byproducts, even fake animal prints on clothes. Leather limo seats must be
reupholstered before he'll ride on them, and he demands tables made only of
sustainable woods. Glass and lacquer furniture is forbidden because the
manufacturing process might be harmful to the environment.
In fact, he won't stay in a hotel that has glass windows!
Maybe he just threw a fit over the lilies because they were in a glass
As soon as he leaves, they reupholster the limo with leather from a
MARTHA JAILBOUND...EVENTUALLY, MAYBE
A Time To Cherish - Friday, Martha Stewart was sentenced to five months in
prison and five months confined to her home for lying to investigators
about a stock sale. Afterward, she vowed to appeal, and urged people to
show support by buying her magazine and other products. Martha told ABC's
Barbara Walters that if she has to go to prison, she could deal with it.
She said she'd gone camping before, slept on the ground, and could handle
hardship. She noted that many great people had gone to prison, like Nelson
You all remember when Nelson Mandela was sent to Club Fed for insider
And Nelson Mandela doesn't even have his own magazine!
A lot of lying crooks have gone there, too.
So, prison...it's a good thing!
Other people who've gone camping with Martha Stewart agreed that the
experience was like prison.
She's Already Stir Crazy - While Martha is under "house arrest," she won't
be able to roam her entire estate, which is 153 acres, but will have to
stay close to the house. In fact, the house itself is so big, it will
require multiple electronic bracelet monitoring units just to cover it.
So when they say Martha's going to "the Big House," they really mean it.
It's so big, she could be arrested for crossing state lines just by
going to the bathroom.