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Tuna
"Hitch-Hike"

Hitch-Hike (1978) is the name used in the DVD release of this film originally called Autostop rosso sangue. IMDB lists several other titles, including Death Drive, Hitch Hike, Hitchhike: Last House on the Left. Lets cover the good parts first. The transfer is very good, and Corinne Clery, in the lead role, is naked several times in the film, and does full frontal each time, including fire lit sex scenes, and well lit shots inside a trailer. That is about it for the good news.

As the film starts, we see Franco Nero aiming a riffle at Corinne's head. Then he pulls the trigger, and a deer falls to the ground. The two, it seems, are on a camping vacation. Back in camp, Nero is drunk, and Clery is pissed. The following morning, they head back to LA. He is a reporter, who married her for two reasons: her father is rich; she is a great fuck. They stop and pick up a dual cliche who is thumbing a ride. Not only is he a bank robber on the run with the money, but also is an escaped mental patient. It doesn't take long for his identity to come out. He forces them at gunpoint to head for Mexico. He flirts with Clery, and finally has sex with her in front of her tied up husband. Two of the partners he double-crossed catch up, and shoot a riffle at him. He falls into a river, and the two friends assume the role of kidnapper/rapist. Then they bring the dual cliche back from the dead. You get the idea.

The acting was way over-wrought, with the exception of Clery, who even showed a spark of acting ability in a few scenes. The real problem was serious logic errors in the story line. First of all, Nero is a threat to the robber, yet the robber doesn't shoot him and go on with Clery, who was cooperating. At one point, their truck is stuck in the sand, and they supposedly drain their battery trying to get out. AN old Mexican in a truck shows up, and tows them. We see the truck being towed, with bright headlights on. They finally reach a very good ending, and then continue for another 20 minutes building up to a different ending. In short, this was a total mess.

IMDB readers say 5.4 of 10, which, in my opinion, is way too high. The film was technically sound, but the acting was terrible, and the plot alternated between trite cliche, and logic errors. Also, they kept going for a long time after they had a chance for a very spiffy ending that could have made the film worthwhile. This is a D+.

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  • Corinne Clery (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)

    "River of No Return"

    River of No Return (1954) is a Western starring Marilyn Monroe and Robert Mitchum, and directed by Otto Preminger. A father travels to a wide open make-shift gold town to pick up his nine year old son, who has been left there for him. The son has befriended a local saloon singer, Marilyn, who is seeing a gambler. The gambler swindles someone out of a gold mine, and he and Marilyn set off to Council City to file the claim. Unable to buy a horse, they buy a raft.

    Mitchum and his son head back to their farm, when who should show up but Marilyn and her gambler. The gambler steals their one horse and their gun, and heads off alone. With Indians ready to attack, Marilyn, Mitchum and the boy head down river on the raft. Along the way, Monroe and Mitchum find a way to get along.

    Marilyn wears several revealing saloon costumes, and has a serious down-blouse fighting rapids on the river. This was a joy to watch, as westerns don't really become dated. Marilyn's main job in the film was too look great, and even in her pre-acting classes days, she did that really well. The film is super wide screen, and again, was beautifully restored. The IMDB score of 6.7 of 10 is probably fair. If you are a fan of Marilyn, or of Westerns, you will enjoy this one. If not, it probably won't rise above the genre for you. C.

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  • Marilyn Monroe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    Humor caught in Tuna's net

    If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original 1,000.00. With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Movies:

    Hell's Gate (originally titled Bad Karma) has one of the all-time body double rip-offs. Patsy Kensit's character has about a five minute scene of being tortured while she is stark naked. It is done in good light without camera tricks, face visible with all other body parts. So what's the problem? It isn't Patsy Kensit! Looks nothing like her. They explain that the character "changed her appearance surgically". (Very confusing, by the way, and a totally unnecessary scene. Not that I object to gratuitous nudity.).

    Crappy movie. Doug Clegg  wrote the novel upon which this film is based, and even he was confused! (see the review)

    The images from this movie are good. Check the thumbs to see if you are interested. Unfortunately, they are all anonymous. If you recognize them, especially the "body double", let me know, please.

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    • Patsy's "body double". (She looks familiar to me, but she's not listed in the credits, despite eight or nine minutes of screen time and a great deal of dialogue. Any of you "B" experts know her?) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
    • victim (1, 2)
    • prostitute

    Catch-up:

    Some of these info pages never got linked properly

     

    Other crap:

     

     

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Selma Blair topless, full dorsal nudity, and gettin' it on from behind in scenes from "Storytelling".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Helvete
    Anémone The French actress all wet in a white shirt, showing some pokies, and being groped in scenes from "Les Babas Cool" (1981).

    Clio Goldsmith Almost full frontal nudity in scenes from "Le Cadeau" (1981).

    Fanny Cottençon Toplessness in the French film "Femmes de personne" aka "Nobody's Women" (1984).

    Florence Guérin The scene is a little on the dark side, but the breast exposure is still very nice in these 'caps from "La Bonne" (1986).

    Glenn Close Topless in "Fatal Attraction" (1987).

    Leonor Watling
    (1, 2, 3)

    A gorgeous face, and beautiful breast exposure. Great 'caps of the Spanish actress in scenes from "Son de mar" (2001).

    Marie-Anne Chazel Topless in "Les Babas Cool".

    Brainscan
    Scoop,

    Today it's a "Babe in Bondage" day as we look at Michaela Hughes in "Flesh Hunters". Michaela is abducted by aliens and hung from a hook device and zapped with some kind of a ray. Weird looking aliens with blurry faces, but the past part is Michaela is stark naked. Not to worry she is rescued in the final cap. I guess she can blame herself for her predicament as she is credited as one of the executive producers.

    • Michaela Hughes, full frontal nudity. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Variety
    Victoria Silvstedt Bikini cleavage and partial hot tub toplessness in scenes from the slacker snowboarder comedy "Out Cold". Actually, I think DeadLamb did manage to catch a nipple that slipped past the PG-13 rating. I rented this a while back, and it really isn't all that bad. In fact, in the slacker teen comedy genre, this has a few laughs. The guy in the hot tub that looks like Silent Bob is a very funny comedian named Zach Galifianakis who had a talk show on VH-1 called "Late World with Zach" and also did a great special for Comedy Central.

    Milla Jovovich
    (1, 2, 3)

    A little nudity from the sci-fi flick "Resident Evil". #2 has a nice nipple and #3 has a hint of pubes.

    Rebecca Romijn
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Jeri Ryan

    nmd takes a second look at some older images of two of his favorites. No nudity, but nice cleavage and partial breast exposure.

    Mary Mendum
    (1, 2)

    All three B's, whips and chains, lesbo lovin', BJ's and close ups from the gyno-cam in scenes from "The Image" aka "The Punishment of Anne" (1975). Both collages are the same images, but #1 is about 185k at 1024x768 while #2 is about 600k at 2112x1584.

    Tonya Paoni
    (1, 2)

    I'm not sure of the source (possibly an online webcast?) but from the US version Big Brother 3, here is the busty contestant topless and baring her bum.

    The Funnies by Number 6
  • Why Brazil won, and not Turkey...

  • Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    RATS INVADE BEVERLY HILLS
    The Beverly Rat-Billies - Mansions in Beverly Hills, Bel Air and Malibu are having to be evacuated because they're full of rats. A heat wave has dried up their food and water in the fields, so they've moved into the areas with palm trees and swimming pools. It's estimated that by the end of the summer, three-quarters of the homes in Pacific Palisades, where Pamela Anderson and Antonio Banderas live, could be infested with rats.

  • That's just what they need: more vermin.
  • The rats feel right at home, living with agents, studio executives and record industry moguls.


    ANNA NICOLE NOT DIETING ENOUGH
    Better Use A Wide-Angle Lens - MSNBC's Jennette Walls reports that the E! Channel is alarmed by Anna Nicole Smith's weight. A source close to the new reality show in which cameras will follow Smith everywhere says that E! has hired nutritionists and trainers to try to get Smith to slim down, but it's not working. E! denied the story, saying Smith is "a large woman, and she knows it," and they want an honest portrayal of her, not a "Jenny Craig Thirteen Week" series where you see a large woman transform into a fashion model.

  • Anna Nicole Smith couldn't lose enough weight to be a fashion model in 13 weeks even if she died in the first episode.
  • It's more like a Delta Burke series.
  • The only exercise she gets is running from the nutritionist and the trainer.
  • The entire series will be shot on location at various Taco Bells.
  • They knew Anna Nicole was a maneater; they just want her not to eat the entire man at once.