Wednesday

FILM CLIPS:

This single .zip file includes four .avi clips of Candy Clark in the Bob Mitchum remake of The Big Sleep. I like Mitchum, and I like the book, and I have to admit that in some ways this movie was more faithful to the book than the Bogart version, but I never have figured out why it was located in England with a 60 year old man playing Marlowe.  (Movie House Review)

"What did it matter where you lay once you were dead? In a dirty sump or in a marble tower on top of a high hill? You were dead, you were sleeping the big sleep, you were not bothered by things like that. Oil and water were the same as wind and air to you. You just slept the big sleep, not caring about the nastiness of how you died or where you fell. Me, I was part of the nastiness now. Far more a part of it than Rusty Regan was. But the old man didn't have to be. He could lie quiet in his canopied bed, with his bloodless hands folded on the sheet, waiting ...

 ... and in a little while he too, like Rusty Regan, would be sleeping the big sleep."

 

 

STV releases:

Roadhouse 2 really has none of the loopy fun of the original, although the script does refer to its predecessor several times. Dalton is dead, and his son (Jonathan Schaech) works for the DEA. That's mighty convenient because Dalton's brother (Will Patton), who owns a bar in the Louisiana bayou country, is being strong-armed by some drug dealers.

Boring!

There is some nudity, and it's not so bad, but it all comes from anonymous women.

These zipped .wmv files are of excellent quality and include:

 (1) two chicks having a three-way with Jake Busey in a hot tub

 (2) some other chicks stripping in a club.

 

Edison Force is rated R, but has no nudity. This film stars Morgan Freeman, Kevin Spacey, Piper Perabo, John Heard, Cary Elwes, and LL Cool J. It also represents the screen debut of Justin Timberlake, who isn't completely awful in the movie, but probably shouldn't quit his day job. I think you can guess that a film with so much high powered talent (two Oscar winners!) and a $37 million budget would not be going straight to video if it were any good. It's about a fictional city with a corrupt S.W.A.T. team. Timberlake plays an aspiring reporter who hopes to expose the group. LL Cool J is the real star, a bad cop who regrets his past decisions and wants to make things right. The baddie is Dylan McDermott as Cool J's partner, a one-dimensional bad cop who loves being bad.

 

Both of these movies would be low C minuses on our scale: barely watchable movies that I made it through with neither enthusiasm nor disgust.

 

OTHER CRAP:

The Daily Show celebrates "10 fuckin' years on the air
"

Now THAT'S a good pour:

"The Cheat Codes Search Engine"

Very useful bookmark: Today's Front Pages - 553 of them from 49 countries.

Remember Kenan and Kel? Rumors of Kel's death have been greatly exaggerated

The R-rated trailer for Clerks 2 that isn't shown in theaters.

A guy set up a web page selling 1 million pixels of space for $1 each in blocks of 100 or more. The page is now sold out.

Mel Brooks singing as Torquemada:

Mel Brooks raps as Hitler:

Tony Snow's Headline Helper for Week of July 9-15 (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

Britney Spears Nude Harper's Bazaar -- NEW COVER

Here's President Bush's uncensored comment to Tony Blair:

It's The Touch day. First, Mark Wahlberg sings The Touch as Dirk Diggler (Then see the next link below for the hilarious original video):

Promo Music Video for Transformers the Movie- Stan Bush, The Touch

Spurned Wife More Likely 26-Year-Old Hipster Ad Twat Who Thinks He's Just So Clever

Now THAT'S good eatin'

"Thieves Steal 14-Foot Inflatable Sheep"

The trailer for 13 Tzameti, an European crime "thriller." 13 Players. 1 Bullet Each! Tense and crazy stuff.

SURPRISE SUMMER TV HIT: 'NORTH KOREA'S GOT TALENT ... 'Kim Jong-Il's First-Ever Reality Show Heats Up the Nielsens"
  • Hosted by the diminutive dictator himself, the televised talent showcase has been heating up the Nielsens ever since it debuted, with approximately 100% of all North Korean TV viewers watching it. "It helps that the marketing campaign has been so strong," says Davis Logsdon, who studies North Korean television trends at the University of Minnesota. "Also that Kim Jong-Il has forced all North Koreans to watch it under penalty of death."

"The National Enquirer apologized to Britney Spears in its British edition Tuesday for reporting that she was ready to divorce Kevin Federline."

The Weekend Warrior's box office predictions for July 21-23.
  • He thinks that Lady in the Water will be just popular enough to edge out Pirates for the #1 spot.
  • The field will be crowded this week, with four new releases.
  • If his analysis is correct, the box office will be about 20% ahead of last year. That makes sense. Last year also had four new releases, but none of them took in more than $13 million.

This week's movies (3000 screens): Monster House - 63% positive reviews
  • Although the reviews were mixed for this kiddie flick with 3-D animation, those who praised it were lavish in heaping their encomiums.
    • "Way, way better than Cars."
    • "A great fantasy story."
    • "It couldn't be much more fun."
    • "Weird and twisted, but a ton of fun"

This week's movies (3100 screens): Lady in the Water - 20% positive reviews
  • The bloom is definitely off Shyamalan's rose. The critics used words like "senseless, convoluted, ponderous, verbose, contrived, self-indulgent"

This week's movies (1900 screens): Clerks II - 83% positive reviews.

This week's movies (2800 screens): My Super Ex-Girlfriend - no reviews yet
  • The lack of pre-screening usually bodes ill, but the one review is positive, so ... maybe ...

Kevin Smith talks about his aborted Superman script:


Five clips from Woody Allen's Scoop

Paris Hilton Now Has Two Vaginas

Kazakhstanis Against Borat

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Carnivale Season 2 (2005) - Part 1

This is the final season of this stylish HBO series. Despite the cancellation, it has a huge fan base, which of course morphed from fan club to cult following automatically as soon as HBO announced the cancellation. The story picks up exactly where it stopped last season, with the aftermath of a trailer fire that killed Sophie's mother, and Lodz dies. For those who don't recall season one, you can find the official episode summaries here. The series contains basically three story lines interwoven. The first is the day to day operation of a carnival in the depression, featuring the lives of all the freaks and workers. The second is the rise to religious power of Brother Justin Crowe and his sister Iris. The third follows ex-con Ben Hawkins, who is hiding out in the carnival while he discovers that he has a destiny, which we all know will pit him against Justin Crowe in a final battle of good vs. evil. Once that happened, of course, the series would have been over, so progress towards that ending was slight in each episode.

In episodes 1 through 4:

  • Sophie decides to give up card reading, and is trying to work her way into Jonsie's all- male crew, but is meeting serious resistance from the other workers.
  • Management reveals more of himself to Ben Hawkins.
  • Stumpy is in financial trouble, and is pushing Rita Sue and Libby very hard in the cootch show.
  • Justin Crowe finds the spot to build his radio ministry, and molest a female volunteer played by Eliza Pryor Nagel
  • As usual, Iris covers up Justin's mess, while he is off in Chinatown getting a huge tattoo from Saemi Nakamura.

The appeal of this series for me has nothing to do with the main story, the ultimate battle between good and evil. The biggest star of the show is the visual style, including set decoration and photography. The secondary attraction is the curious depression setting and an inside look at carny life. So far, I am not finding season 2 as compelling as season one.

All of the real nudity so far is from episode 2:

Saemi Nakamura
 Eliza Pryor Nagel
Carla Gallo
Cynthia Ettinger

 

 

 

 

 

Annabeth Gish in episode one of The Brotherhood
Lisa Glaser in Future Kick
Uschi Digard in The Killer Elite
Mischa Barton  falling out of her dress.