"Fast Lane to Vegas"

Fast Lane to Vegas (2000) is a sequel to Fast Lane to Malibu, and is essentially the same story. Zack and Brian are on a road trip to Vegas for Zacks Wedding to Ashley. Ashley is there waiting with best friend and roommate Monica, and her gangster father. The guys are in a hurry. not just for the wedding, but more importantly the bachelor party with 20 showgirls. Naturally they are besieged by horny women and mishap after mishap along the way. What are two guys to do when confronted with a naked ex girlfriend in a convertible next to them, two horny hitch hikers, sex starved waitresses in a Mexican town, and alien women in black collecting sperm?

This has the same interactive feature as the first film, where you get to help the guys decide what to do next. It was a little better integrated this time into the story, and, in fact, this sequel is better overall than the original. The one exception is the photography, which could stand some technical improvement. There is way too much chromatic aberration in most frames, which looks like a light shadow next to high contrast lines.

Ten women show breasts, including Renee Rhea, Tracy Angeles, Flower Edwards, Tera Hopkins, Ava Lake, Sarah Kalla, Dee Summers, Kelli McCarty, Sasha Peralto, Kelly Alane and Angela Penny. Peralto and Kalla also show bush. IMDb readers have this at 1.6 of 10. Why do those people even bother to vote. This is a cheesy, often tongue in cheek titty flick. We have ten naked women, some occasionally humorous moments, and not one second of running time is meant to be taken seriously. What more can you ask of a titty flick? This is a C+. It has the boob count, and enough story to keep you awake.

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  • Angela Penny (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Ava Lake (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Dee Summers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Flower Edwards (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Kelli McCarty (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Kelly Alane (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Renee Rea (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Sarah Calla (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Sasha Peralto (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Tera Hopkins
  • Tracy Angelus (1, 2)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Human Stain (2003):

    Tuna and I have talked and imaged this one to death, so I just played around with a few images.

    • Here's the review page. (My comments and Tuna's). Short version: we both thought it was an excellent, highly literary movie, beautifully acted, with some sexy nudity. Having said that, we both conceded that our admiration for the film will only translate to you if you really have a taste for serious drama, and can even tolerate such drama when it edges far over the tragedy line. If you're a literary person, think Strindberg and you'll have about the right tone. In other words, it isn't a summer feel-good movie, and it isn't an entertainment picture. We have no idea how Miramax planned to recoup its investment on this film, but it is a truly excellent movie in many ways, and we're glad (and damned impressed) that they greenlighted it and hired top people to perform in it.
    • Nicole Kidman (1, 2, 3)
    • Jacinda Barrett (1, 2, 3, 4)




    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

    the La Femme Nikita chick

    The word "hardbody" seems to have been invented for Anne Parillaud. She doesn't seem to have a sag, bulge, or hint of cellulite anywhere on her body.


    BONUS: Monster (not from Shiloh)

    Charlize Theron's performance in this movie was regarded by Roger Ebert as one of the greatest in the history of film, perhaps exceeded only by Carrot Top's brilliant turn in Chairman of the Board. OK, maybe he never mentioned Carrot Top, but I'm pretty sure he mentioned Tom Arnold and Mr Bean in there somewhere. All kidding aside, Charlize was awesome in the role. She gained a massive amount of weight, buried herself under prosthetics, and adapted an entirely new body language to play a serial killer.



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Puppets Who Kill first season DVD set
    The Canadian made comedy series about a halfway house for puppets with sociopathic tendencies. With the very adult content such as sex with puppets, prison sodomy, faking urine tests, humping hippoes, asshole neighbors, serial castration, ... it's highly unlikely this will ever air in the United States. But for those who thought Greg the Bunny was lame, this isn't.

    "Love" (1982)
    Six-part artsie anthology covering relationships from cradle to grave. One segment that was produced but not included starred Cindy Girling.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Countess Dracula's Ory of Blood"
    This 2004 direct-to-video erotic horror film starts off in 1897 Southern California where Countess Dracula gets the old stake-in-the-heart treatment when a local rancher finds her in the sack (and sucking the neck, among other things) of his wife.

    Fast-forward to the present, where the local vampires are running around doing their sucking thing when one stumbles onto the body of the Countess, and of course, brings her back to life.

    Things predictably suck forward from there until the Countess once again meets an untimely end with the stake thing. There's plenty of nudity and sex action, of course, mostly lesbian.

    Yeah, it's really bad, and even worse, there isn't a sharp frame in the entire movie, but hey, you want your nudity and lesbian action sharp, too? Jeesh.

    Michelle Williams
    (1, 2, 3)

    The former "Dawson's Creek" babe bares her lovely breasts in scenes from "Me Without You" (2001). In link #1 she is joined in the tub by UK actress Anna Friel.

    Elisha Cuthbert
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Pokies, cleavage and a tight white tank top in more Johnny Moronic 'caps from the Second Season DVDs of "24".

    Here's a Bonus Cuthbert video clip of this scene (divx avi-zipped)

    Barbara Crampton
    (1, 2)

    Toplessness from the busty B-movie favorite in deleted scenes from the "Re-Animator" DVD.

    Kylie Minogue
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Watty 'caps of the Aussie pop-star and actress showing a bunch of cleavage in scenes from her video for the song "Slow".