Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Nothing more to say about the movie. For reference, here is my review.

I still don't know if any really good stuff was visible in the Jane Seymour scene, but here's the best we have so far. (Which is not very good. There is no screener or DVD screener available.)

Jane Seymour

The gratuitous topless nudity babes



The Girl in the Cafe (2005)

Here is a respectably good quality video (zipped .wmv) of Kelly MacDonald flashing her breasts in the recent HBO/BBC production about a lonely, aging civil servant who falls in love, but finds his romance in conflict with his employment obligations.

I haven't seen it, but I think you can guess that it is a first-class job.

  • It has some excellent reviews and a 7.1 at IMDb.
  • HBO and BBC make a strong, totally top-drawer combination.
  • It was written by Richard Curtis, who wrote Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love, Actually.
  • It was directed by David Yates, who has been chosen to direct Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. 
  • It stars Bill Nighy, one of the great character actors. I have described him as an elderly British version of Johnny Depp.


'Caps and comments by Hankster:

After filling the take and getting it washed, we once again fired up the Time Machine. This time we went back to 1975 and took a look at some Mexican sleaze called "Satanico Pandemonium". The movie supposedly was the inspiration for Salma Hayek's character in "From Dusk to Dawn".

This nunsploitation turkey stars Cecilia Pezet who is quite attractive and spends a lot of time naked. So here's a topless and full frontal Cecilia. Warning: the last seven caps are Cecelia as a "Babe in Bondage" and they are quite bloody.

Cecilia Pezet

After that one we needed a sedative so we stopped off in 1981 to see a doctor. Not a good move as we wound up at "Hospital Massacre", but at least Heff's former soul mate Barbi Benton was there for a physical. Thankfully, Barbi was topless while being examined by the doctor.

Barbi Benton

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"The Cool Surface"
A very young and very beautiful (and she still is) Teri Hatcher co-stars in this 1994 drama about a writer and an actress.

The story starts with the writer's new novel being rejected by his agent because it is too boring and tame. Unfortunately, a lot of the movie is, also.

When the actress moves in to his building, the writer is drawn to her beauty, especially since he's still mourning his girlfriend, who killed herself a few months before.

He meets her, daydreams and writes about her, and also gets involved with her. Much of the action is designed so you're not sure if it's reality or the writer's manuscript.

This time, the manuscript is a hit, but when a movie company buys it and the actress tries for and gets the lead, things start to turn ugly (or do they?).

There's a lot of introspective soul searching and character analysis in this flick, so it does drag. Teri's nudity makes it worthwhile, however, and the ending will leave you scratching your head.

Teri Hatcher

Crimson Ghost
Today from the Ghost...a whole bunch of skin as several ladies of late night do their thing...

Dana Robbins in scenes from an episode of "Nightcap"

Dana Robbins in scenes from an episode of "Passion Cove"

Dana Robbins in scenes from an episode of "Pleasure Zone"

Former Pet (October 1999) and adult star Devin Lane topless and full frontal in an episode of "Thrills".

The lovely Lea Marr bares breasts and a few quick bush views in another episode of "Pleasure Zone"

Mr. Nude Celeb
The ladies of "Alfie".

One of Jane Krakowski's nipples threatens to break free of the bra that keeps it prisoner.

Meanwhile, Susan Sarandon shows off her still impressive cleavage, and Sienna Miller is just plain topless.

In a deleted scene, we also see some far off side breast exposure from Nia Long.

"Just Shoot Me" star Laura San Giacomo teasing us by keeping her big'uns in their holsters.

Here she is in scenes from the made for TV adaptation of the Stephen King book, "The Stand".

More of Laura San Giacomo teasing us. This time there is a lot more to see (but still no nipple) in a love scene from "Under Suspicion" (1991).

Maggie O'Neill helps balance out the teasing by showing breasts and bush.

The always sexy Jennifer Esposito baring just a bit of breast in a love scene from "Crash" (2004).

Thanks to ZonononZor for this excellent, high quality version of Sophie Mearceau's red carpety nip slip at Cannes.

"Solider", "One Hour Photo" and "The Devil's Advocate" co-star Connie Nielsen briefly showing off breast and bum views in scenes from the completely incoherent movie "Demonlover".

Click here for Scoop's review.

DeadLamb catches the ultra-hot Latina actress Eva Mendes showing off a little cleavage on Leno.

Here is "Dead Like Me" co-star Laura Harris topless and baring a bit of bum in scenes from the rarely seen Canadian movie "Best Wishes Mason Chadwick" (1995).

Kitt 'caps of Stephanie Chambers while being attacked in the shower (naturally we have some toplessness). Scenes from "Seed of Chucky".

Señor Skin 'caps of "Amélie" star Audrey Tautou showing off a first class bum in scenes from "A Very Long Engagement".

Look for her on the big screen next summer as she co-stars with Tom Hanks in "The Da Vinci Code".

Tuna's condition is stable. Nothing new to report. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap
Some of out favorite Tree Houses - some fascinating stuff!

A new video blog segment is up at Blue Tights, this time showing the cinematographer of Superman at work. (Or you can just read the transcript.)

Microsoft Urges Developers to Prepare for IE 7

Hundreds of nudes cross the Tyne. "About 1,700 men and women have appeared naked in Tyneside in the name of art." There is an accompanying BBC video but the quality is inadequate for your masturbatory needs.

Borowitz: "DENTAL MARIJUANA FACES UPHILL FIGHT" ... Obstacles Abound for Weed as Novocaine Replacement

  • Dr. Glausen said he was also concerned by the source of funds used to make the study possible: “I’m suspicious of any pro-marijuana study that is underwritten by Frito-Lay.”
  • Elsewhere, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said he would step down as executive editor of the magazines “Muscle and Fitness” and “Flex,” but that he would retain his editorial position at “Nazi Groper.”

Lots of rare Sophie Marceau photos from the past two decades.

"China to send pig sperm to space"

The trailer for The Thing About My Folks

  • "The Thing About My Folks, starring Peter Falk and Paul Reiser, is a semi- autographical film that Reiser wrote specifically for Falk, his all-time favorite actor. A sudden family crisis throws a befuddled writer and his "loose cannon" dad together for an unexpected road trip. Family secrets are uncovered and in a few surprising days, the two men learn more about each other -- and have more fun -- than either imagined possible. Directed by Raymond De Felitta (Sundance Audience Award winner Two Family House), The Thing About My Folks is a story of fathers and sons, husbands and wives, and two men learning to love the women who love them."

You say you love KARL ROVE? You say you love Tijuana BLACK VELVET PAINTING? Now you can have them both in one glorious work of art. And while you're at it, here is the rest of his black velvet collection, including an infinite number of Elvii.

Wedding Crashers, as analyzed by the greatest of all film reviewers, The Filthy Critic.

  • "the quick flashes of tits totaling about 15 seconds in Wedding Crashers are as stingy as a Mormon at a strip club."
  • "they're all stock characters from the playbook for bad screenwriters who don't know how to fill the space between setting up their premise and the final credits."

We are proud to announce that the "urban legend" division of Other Crap is merging with the "outrageous gas price" division, so we can serve you better. "Why use premium gas when regular will do?"

Bay Area Gas Station Sells $6 Gas. "The ARCO at Market and Castro sure is proud of its gasoline. Just look at the prices -- $3.43 for regular, $6.15 for premium."

The very best ways to spoil the new Harry Potter book! (Ingenious stuff!)

Forgotten pictures of popular people

The new Harry Potter book sold an astonishing 6.9 million copies in its first 24 hours, smashing the record held by the previous Potter release

"Australian Joseph Hachem prevailed in his first World Series of Poker Saturday, winning $7.5 million and snatching the game's greatest crown in the longest final table in the tournament's history." He won holding a 7-3! Despite that weak hand, he called a pre-flop raise and pulled a miraculous 4-5-6 on the flop, giving him a virtually undetectable straight. His opponent, not expecting somebody to match a pre-flop raise with a 7-3, never put Hachem on a straight, so he kept betting his ace, and made a big raise when he pulled a pair of aces on the turn. At that point Hachem sensed that he had hooked his fish, so he went all-in, and his opponent followed.

Urban Legend: "Night-vision video documents the bizarre existence of a teenage mutant known as 'Rubber Johnny.'"

Wonka opens with $55 million.

Every time I read something written about the industry, I have to wonder what kind of drugs these writers take.

  • First of all, there was the famous "slump," which could easily have been identified as no slump at all if anyone had bothered to look at the numbers. The apparent slump was caused by a fluke year in 2004 which had all kinds of extraordinary windfall numbers (sometimes 25% over the previous year) reaped by The Passion of the Christ and Fahrenheit 911, both of which brought non-moviegoers into the theaters. Looking deeper into the numbers, one finds that 2005 has been running steadily ahead of 2003, the last year without extraordinary non-recurring income. 2005's negative numbers versus 2004 just represented a return to business as usual, following last year's windfall.
  • Then there was the offbeat theory that this would be a poor weekend because the new Potter book would keep people out of the theaters. Scrap another theory. If Potter books affect the box office, the impact appears to be positive. It was a great weekend in which both new films exceeded expectations. This year was about 9% above 2003, a result similar to but slightly better than what has been happening recently - perhaps five million better than I expected. The key point here is that the effect of the 2004 windfall had all but disappeared by mid-July, so 2005 is now running substantially above 2004 as well as 2003. Here is how the Top 12 performed:
    • 2003 - $138.4m
    • 2004 - $140.8
    • 2005 - $151.2
  • Where and how did Wonka and Wedding Crashers pick up an extra fifteen million dollars over the Warrior's predictions? There are three sources of that:
    1. First, the overall box was about 9% over 2003, and my expectation would have been about 5%-6%, consistent with trends. The difference added some six million to the total box.
    2. Warrior's estimate was even more conservative. He expected a Top 12 in the $142-143 range, while I thought that group would gross something closer to $145-146. That accounted for another three million.
    3. Fantastic Four slipped dramatically (about 60%), and all of the other carry-overs underperformed as well. The holdovers came in about six million below expectations, with about half of that shortfall coming from FF.

    The fifteen million from those three sources seems to have gone to Wonka and Wedding Crashers.



Trivia. You can win bar bets with this one if you play against old geezers. When I was in school, Alaska was the least populous state. Now it is not in the bottom three! Name the three least populous states. Better print out the page before you make the bet, cuz them old guys ain't gonna believe Alaska didn't make the cut.

Christian Exodus Planned For South Carolina. "South Carolina has been chosen as the place for hundreds, even thousands of Christians to move to, in hopes of impacting the government." I could understand that strategy if they were planning to move a million people but, dude, it's only 2500 immigrants in a state with four million people. They couldn't even have a major impact on bible sales.

VIDEO clips: The Mike Douglas Show. Great memories from the sixties and 70s. Tiger Woods at age two. Leno and Letterman in the late 70s. James Brown and Tricky Dick from the 60s. Andy Kaufman does Elvis. Lots more.

Tiger easily wins his tenth major.

50 years ago today: a disastrous opening day at Disneyland

Matt LeBlanc Pees in Public

The Lost Levels of Super Mario Bros. 3

"I Love Midget Porn" T-shirt: $7.99 Getting arrested and photographed in it: priceless.

Can hot girls be funny? Watch the videos and vote on it.

Sandra Bullock Goes Bridal.

Drinking toilet water out of your faucet is an idea that is getting closer to reality for people living in the city of San Diego.

Walt Disney Pictures may have given a first look at a picture of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest villain Davey Jones at the San Diego Comic-Con.

Britney Spears To Give Birth on TV


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