Jaws is definitely a little dated, and the
effects could be done much better today, but,
largely because of Spielberg's direction, and the
performances of Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss,
it still works for me. I couldn't resist tackling
these difficult images.
Susan Backlinie (1,
Never Forget What's 'isname"
I'll Never Forget What's 'isname was released
in 1967. It features a glimpse of a nipple from a
very young Marianne Faithfull. She was also the
first to use the f-word in film in this role. The
movie is highly rated by Maltin, and the 12
people who have voted at IMDB also score it
highly. An advertising executive wakes up one
morning, and decides he has had enough of the
rat-race and chops up his desk with an ax. He
then proceeds to leave the job, his wife, and all
three mistresses, and go back to work for a small
and failing magazine owned by one of his
Cambridge classmates. He falls in love with a
secretary there, and life is looking up. then his
old boss buys the magazine, and tries to force
our hero into making an award winning commercial.
To get even, he makes a commercial that
"tells the truth." This could well have
been part of the inspiration for "Crazy
People" (1990) with Dudley Moore as Dudley
The period is the tail end of the
"mod" scene, and some of the costuming
is very colorful. There are some genuinely funny
moments, and Oliver Reed turned in a very good
performance as the advertising exec Andrew Quint.
Marianne Faithfull (1,
|Other new DVD releases reviewed
for nudity (and possessing none). Presumably,
these capsules may save you some time. I sure
hope tomorrow's new releases have some better
I am really tired of wading through R movies
that should be rated G. There was more sex in
"The Little Mermaid". More plot as
This movie was just in general theater release
in April, which should give you an idea of how
appealing it was. It was produced for a $14
million budget, and pulled in a whopping domestic
gross of $183,000.
It is a beautifully photographed costume
drama, and a complete snooze-fest.
Here's why, in my opinion. I don't blame the
filmmaker, but the source material. Russians
consider Pushkin to be their greatest writer,
their Shakespeare. The rest of the world has
taken to Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, but has never
embraced Pushkin, for a very identifiable reason.
Tolstoy's sweeping grandeur and Dostoevsky's
merciless probing of the human soul can be
translated into any culture. Tolstoy's genius was
story-telling, and he had the spectacle of the
Napoleonic Wars to work with. Dostoevsky's genius
was a genuine insight into the human heart, and
the questions he asked are universal. You don't
need to understand Russian or Russians to
appreciate those two writers.
But Pushkin was a novelist who wrote in verse,
and his genius was with the manipulation of the
written language. He virtually originated modern
Russian, and he can be compared to Shakespeare as
a wordsmith. The problem is that you can't
translate that into English unless you can find a
translator as good at English as Pushkin was at
Russian, and who also can translate both the
Russian verbiage and the Russian cultural
experience into something understandable to us.
So we are left with English versions written by
someone with far less than Pushkin's talent, I
suppose. Either that or Pushkin really sucked,
and I doubt that was the case. I trust the
Russians who praise him, even though no hint of
that genius resides in the translations.
Now, strip away Pushkin's verbal artistry, and
what is left? He was an aristocrat whose life
consisted of gambling and flirting. He was
neither a deep thinker nor an interesting
storyteller. Without the poetry, here's what
Onegin consists of: a gambling, philandering
aristocrat pushes away the woman whom he later
realizes to be his one true love. He goes to
reclaim her years later, finds that she always
loved him as well, but she is a good and faithful
woman who will do nothing to hurt her husband,
and she tells Onegin to hit the highway. He's
crushed. End of story.
How to make this work as a movie. Without the
poetry, the filmmaker has nothing too powerful to
work with, so the only sensible alternative is to
try to replace the verbal poetry with visual
poetry. Martha Fiennes wisely realized this, and
brought alive a vivid visual verse-novel in the
tradition of the great northern European
filmmakers. Give her credit for doing what she
could do. But that's all she could do. Take away
the striking visuals, and there's nothing there.
A very tedious movie, although one not without
artistic merit. Since the strength of the movie
lies in its landscapes and visuals, it is really
not worthwhile to watch on a small screen. Skip
it unless it is revived in a local art theater.
Liv Tyler will surprise you, or I should say
she surprised me. She is remarkably good in
presenting the aristocratic carriage and speech.
Ralph Fiennes is awarded the William Hurt
lifetime ennui award for possessing the correct
combination of genuine talent, striking good
looks, and embalming fluid. Is this guy humorless
or what? Compared to Fiennes, Jeremy Irons could
qualify for the lead in Ace Ventura 3.
I've always told Elya that it's actually easy
for a Russian to make the move to Texas, because
they are the two places in the world where the
entire culture is based on wearing very large
Since I thought this was quite a beautifully
photographed movie, and beauty is an important
part of our purpose here (although less important
than nudity, humor, and making fun of Kevin
Costner), I included some non-nude portraits,
landscape captures, and a thumbnail sheet, ala
Tuna, just to give you a little feel for it. They
are the frames I would have used in the collages
if there had been any reason to make a collage. I
wish there had been, because they would have been
Onegin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
|From "Boys Don't Cry".
Lot's of topless and transgender love scene
'caps. Not exactly cutting edge stuff, but still
very nice images of Chloe.
|WhyScan's Page Three
|If Page Three is unfamiliar to
link describes the Page Three tradition.
|Today's Page 3 girl....Melanie. (1, 2, 3, 4)
|Manon von Gerkan
|Comments by C2000:
All except Ali (Sky) and Jane(Allure) are from
German GQ. I find it really annoying that these
top models strip for the European magazines but
refuse to do so the English language ones.
eg. Josie Maran is topless in both Max and GQ but
covered up in Maxim
Unfortunately I lack the
skill to remove the text however if there is
someone out there who can please feel free to
edit the pics as long as you post in the Fun
||Sexy red head co-star of "That 70's
Show", from an appearance on Craig Kilborn.
|The Amish Elevator
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially by two shiny, silver walls that
could move apart and then slide back together
The boy asked, "What is this,
The father (having never seen an elevator)
responded, "Son, I have never seen anything
like this in my life, I don't know what it
While the boy and his father were watching
with amazement, an old lady (resembling Aunt Bea)
in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls
and pressed a button. The walls opened and the
lady rolled between them into a small room. The
walls closed and the boy and his father watched
the small circular numbers above the walls light
up sequentially. They continued to watch until it
reached the last number and then the numbers
began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a
gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman
stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off
the young woman, said quietly to his son,
"Go get your mother".
ACTUAL DOCTOR GRAMMAR
* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
* The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and
cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed
and cried immediately.
* Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus
* The skin was moist and dry.
* Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
* The patient had waffles for breakfast and
anorexia for lunch.
* She stated that she had been constipated for
most of her life until 1989 when she got a
* Between you and me, we ought to be able to
get this lady pregnant.
* The patient was in his usual state of good
health until his airplane ran out of gas and
* I saw your patient today, who is still under
our car for physical therapy.
* The patient was prepped and raped in the
* Examination reveals a well developed male
laying in bed with his family in no distress.
* Patient was alert and unresponsive.
* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the
* The patient lives at home with his mother,
father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled
in day care three times a week.
* Bleeding started in the rectal area and
continued all the way to Los Angeles.
The Queen and the Pope
The Pope and the Queen of England are on the
same stage at an Anglican and Catholic
commemoration of the Anglo- Irish accords. The
crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His
Holiness, can't help but have a little rivalry,
both being heads of churches and all.
The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know
that with just one little wave of my hand I can
make every English person in the crowd go
He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough,
the royal- gloved wave elicits rapture and
cheering from every Englishman in the crowd.
Gradually the cheering subsides.
The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone
wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers
what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen,
"Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did
you know that with one little wave of MY hand I
can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy
with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary
display like that of your subjects, but will go
deep into their hearts, and they will speak
forever of this day and rejoice. They will
recount it to their grandchildren and they to
The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so.
"One little wave of your hand and all Irish
people will rejoice forever? Show me."
So the Pope slaps her.