* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Secrets of a Chambermaid


Secrets of a Chambermaid starts with three people being notified that their Aunt Felicity has passed, and are requested to come to her mansion for the reading of the will.

  • A young man, driven by a girlfriend (Gladys Jiminez), who leaves after sex on the grounds.
  • A somewhat inhibited young lady (Amy Lindsay) and her nerd boyfriend.
  • A fashion photographer (Anneliza Scott).

They are greeted by the maid, Kira Reed, and the butler, Michael Ensign. They are shown to elaborately furnished rooms with strongly sexual motifs, and are told that only one person will get an inheritance, and that they will have to wait to find out which. Someone is videotaping all of their activities, and by the time the weekend is over, everyone will engage in intimate activities with everyone else.

On the erotic side, the film includes some bondage and fetish attire, and all four main female characters show everything in proper lighting. The erotica is supported well. The plot is engaging, Kira Reed gave the best performance I have seen from her to date, and all of the other players can act and developed sympathetic characters. The score is amazing, and for extra credit, there's a cameo by Mary Woronov.

In general this film is a whole lot of fun. Sure, it is light entertainment, but it kept a smile on my face for over 90 minutes.

This is an easy C+. At or near the top of the line in the softcore market.

This rarity is only available in the US from RLDVDs on a dual region (1 and 4) DVD in English with optional Spanish subtitles. Click on the image below for details.

Secrets of a Chambermaid DVD Kira Reed (1998)


Gladys Jimenez


Kira Reed


Anneliza Scott


Amy Lindsay








Trading Places

The Time Machine lands in 1983, in the middle of the golden age of film nudity, for another movie classic nude scene, this time from Jamie Lee Curtis, who displays her lovely breasts in these scenes which are never to be forgotten.







Notes and collages

Inner Sanctum

(Tanya Roberts was a Bond girl in A View to a Kill in 1985.)








Spider-Man 3


I loved the movie. For me, every Spider-Man sequel is better than the last, but I don't think Raimi can top this one. I found the battles way more fun. The guy who wrote them had very good ideas  and they end up being very entertaining parts of the movie.

The part where Peter goes bad is hilarious, I usually don't like stuff like that but it was very well done.


Bryce Dallas Howard








Very brief nudity from Megan Dodds in The Contract. Film clip here, sample to the right.
Three clips from Cashback, which comes to DVD July 24th. Variety described it as follows:

"Slickly charming, genteelly erotic and directed with supreme polish, "Cashback" is a conventional romantic comedy that plays unconventional games with time and memory."






More from Poland. Two Polish actresses who have become known internationally.

The spectacularly beautiful Renata Dancewicz in two from 1995.

The not as beautiful but spectacularly large-chested Kasia Figura. (Maybe you remember her from a small part in Altman's Ready-to-Wear.)

  • Wrzeciono Czasu (1995)
  • The Washing Machine (1993)
  • Fatal Past (1993) (This is an Australian B-movie, in English, starring Costas Mandylor. Figura plays a character named Jennifer Lawrence.(!!??) This poor quality clip was taken from an Italian-dubbed version broadcast by Rai Uno. Very cosmpolitan.)
  • The Sundial (1997)

Several film clips from the legendary stinker Hollywood Boulevard- a bad movie about making bad movies - with an even worse movie-within-the-movie. It's real Tuna territory here - a 1976 Corman film starring Mary Woronow and the late Paul Bartel. Astoundingly enough, it was directed by Joe Dante, another guy who got his start in the Corman Factory. Brian MacKay's review at efilm critic summed it up as follows:

"The only thing more dreary to sit through than a bad movie is a bad movie about the making of bad movies. On the other hand, the bad movie within a bad movie scenario can rise above the crop of truly awful cinematic crapola with some funny and clever moments. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD has some of those moments going for it, though not quite as many as I would have liked. But then, I did watch it sober.

Needless to say, Hollywood Boulevard is the kind of movie best seen high at a drive-in (obviously the target audience). However, it has its noteworthy points, the first of which is that it's director Joe Dante's freshman effort. Although he later went on to crank out mainstream powerhouse hits in the 80's like The Howling, Gremlins, and Innerspace, the presence of both tits and a cartoonish death scene within the first 60 seconds of this film is a sure tip-off that you're cruising in B-movie waters."

Zipped file of the clips: Candice Rialson, Rita George and Tara Strohmeier

Parker Posey in Broken English. Very minimal nudity, and it's one of those films where the characters speak English and the Russian voice actors speak Russian right over it, so you can hear both at once. Irritating as hell, but hey, it's a new movie and Parker is a known actress, so here it is. The film was directed by Zoe Cassavetes, daughter of John Cassavetes and Gena Roland.  It had a brief release about a month ago and grossed about $350,000 in 28 theaters.
And what would a day be without public nudity from the Crack Pack. Paris is thoughtfully picking up the slack while Britney and Lohan recuperate.


The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

420 Wal-Mart stores will begin carrying a line of religious toys that includes Samson and Jesus action figures.  USA Today reports that the toys will appear in stores that sell a lot of Bibles.  Wal-Mart says the target market is parents who prefer their kids to play with faith-based toys like a Jesus action figure than with superhero action figures. 

*  Or give your kids both, and we'll finally see who would win in a fight between Superman and Jesus.  

*  Okay, but when kids play with them, Jesus will drive the moneychangers out of the temple with an AK-47.

*  If your kid wanted a Transformer, tell him the Jesus action figure transforms water into wine. 

In what must be a new record for bureaucratic meddling, Dorothy Berry, a great-grandmother in Fulham, England, received a notice from local environmental health officials warning that someone had filed a nuisance complaint because the birds in her backyard were singing too loudly during early hours.  The letter said, "You may wish to consider if any such noise is likely to cause offense."   Berry said she doesn't know what she can do about the volume or schedule of wild songbirds and asked officials if the frogs in her pond were croaking too loudly, too.

*  As a matter of fact ...


TMZ.com reports that Lindsay Lohan left rehab Saturday and celebrated by spending the weekend at Pure nightclub in Las Vegas.  But her publicist claims she drank only Red Bull and water and wore an alcohol monitoring bracelet to prove there's no question of her sobriety. 

*  Of course, it might not be working that well, since it's all clogged with cocaine.