Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Wedding Crashers (2005)

I reviewed the nudity in the film yesterday. I still have not seen a screener or any source to make captures from. Here is my full review.



Forever, Lulu (1987)

File this one under "pretty good idea, abysmal execution."

Elaine is a 40ish aspiring writer who pays the bills by working for a toilet seat company, presumably as a "go"-fer. Her bill-paying capacity is reduced to zero when she loses even that pathetic job, but the truly disheartening thing about her life is that getting fired from a bad job is the apex of her existence. Her agent tells her that her manuscripts are totally unsellable. She hasn't been laid since the Carter administration, and she's living in a total dump in one of the worst parts of town, which becomes beyond her means after she loses her job! Despair overcomes her. One night, when she is caught in the rain with no umbrella and no money for transportation, all the grief and frustration reaches a crescendo and she tries to shoot herself.

And a miracle happens.

A couple wanders by, and when they see her waving her gun and babbling hysterically, they assume she is a crazy street person who is mugging them. They hand over their expensive coats and run away. Elaine gets a mink, and some secret information that leads her to a ritzy apartment, a bloody shootout, two suitcases full of money and drugs, and a mysterious photograph of an unknown woman. Schygulla takes the suitcases away from the apartment, and considers keeping the booty but, after some deliberation, she decides to play it straight and turn everything over to the cops, along with the full unvarnished version of her story. Her honesty makes her the darling of New York. She gets to repeat her sad life story on all the talk shows, and her new-found fame turns her life completely around. She finds, fame, riches, and a new love, but not before conducting a search for the mystery woman and encountering some loose ends from the drug bust.

There is actually far more to it than that. I've oversimplified and, in fact, the additional complications are the elements that turn the film from a sappy rags-to-riches romance into a comedy, but those elements are too complicated to detail in this sort of forum, and they should be left for you to discover, if it sounds like your kind of film.

There are some interesting minor elements interspersed throughout Forever, Lulu. The film has some good moments, good enough so that I got drawn into the occasional scene despite generally poor acting and pedestrian direction. Another interesting aspect of the film is that it represents the film debut of Alec Baldwin, who played a young cop love-smitten by the much older Hanna Schygulla. (Hanna made her own film debut in 1968, and was 43 when she made this film!) 

Unfortunately, the film ultimately lacks the minimum essentials of a professional production. The star, German actress Hanna Schygulla, goes through the entire film staring blankly in response to every situation, as if she didn't really understand what was happening. Some of the bit players are even weaker. Writer/director Amos Kollek made a brief acting appearance as the literary agent, and ... well, as an actor, he's roughly on a par with the local used car dealers who do their own commercials. His direction isn't much better. A couple of scenes are so confusing as to be completely incomprehensible. Hanna's ex-boyfriend lets himself into her apartment while she's taking a bath. She hears an intruder and draws a gun which seems to come from underwater in her tub! Setting aside such strange lapses in logical continuity, one must give Kollek him props as a writer. You could take this script, make some minor changes, remake the film with Kate Hudson, and it would play out pretty much like every other Kate Hudson film, and might even become a minor hit. In its present shape, however, it is the filmmaking equivalent of a top Stones song covered by a garage band: a good idea presented sincerely, but not really capably.

Hanna Schygulla

Various unknowns

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

As we headed back home with the Time Machine, we stopped off in 1988 for a look at "Blood Relations".

A not-so-bad horror movie starring a very attractive Lydie Dernier. We kick it off with Lydie humping her boyfriend on the staircase (my favorite indoor sport) boobs showing there. Then some more boob exposure while the boyfriend's father pushes her nightgown up. Next is full frontal nudity as she strips for her boyfriend's grandfather. Kind of like an episode of "All in the Family". The final cap Lydie becomes a "Babe in Bondage", but sadly she is fully clothed.

Lydie Dernier

On the final leg of the trip home, we stop in the year 2000 for a visit with Elizabeth Hurley in "Bedazzled". No nudity but some nice cleavage and leg. It had been said by some people that they saw a beaver slip in this one, but I never saw it. Nice though.

Elizabeth Hurley

Mister Grundy
'Caps and comments by Mister Grundy:

"OLGA's GIRLS" (1964)
Perhaps the most sadistic in the series that probably marked the last appearance of Audrey Campbell in her signature, title role. Here we have lasses is various stages of suffering.


WHITE SLAVES OF CHINATOWN, shot mostly "mitout sound" (with music and narrative added in later), details how the evil Olga Petroff wears down her captives so that they may become hers to do as she pleases. The accent is on making the young ladies suffer, a novelty in those days. The series features great quotable lines and high camp value. I read a New York Times investigative report on sexual slavery, and among the worst culprits of the world was not the sleazy third world countries one would customarily expect, but the good old United States. It was shocking and infuriating to read the real-life techniques used to subjugate today's "white slaves," and as absurd as this "Olga" film is, a lot of it is along the same lines. (Keeping the women drugged, so they don't know whether they're coming or going.)

AUDREY CAMPBELL -- as Olga; she gets her kicks out of torturing her poor girls. Along the way, she falls for one of her captives, and feels the need for a MAN to curb a little depression she's hit by. She gives us a glance of her wares in this entry.

GIGI DARLENE -- oo la lahs us as "Frenchie," a high society girl who is slowly broken down. She is credited as Leonore Rhein. After making twenty-odd low-budget "sex" films in New York City, she evidently "disappered" to the point that a 1968 Findlay film asked, "Whatever happened to Gigi Darlene?" in its credits.

Unknowns..."Jackie" is quite pretty and innocent looking. "Elaine" tries to withstand her punishment, but of course, there is no escaping Olga.

Unknown...'Vicki" has about had it. She's got a baby that needs getting rid of. The producer, George Weiss, steps in as the bad doctor.

OLGA'S DANCE HALL GIRLS was a later attempt to cash in on the fizzling-out series. A kinder, tamer Olga has a sleazy second-in-command who recruits housewives into the act.

LUCY ELDREDGE -- the new Olga. She has a lesbian scene with one of the wives, and we don't get to see much of her, except what's here.

UTA ERICKSON -- the lovely blonde appeared uncredited. She gets into a catfight, and bares more toward the end.

LINDA BOYCE -- I like her a lot. She has much spunk, and here she appears as housewife Carol who really gets into her new scene. She later gets seduced by Olga. This might have been her screen debut. After a ten year hiatus from her last film in 1970, she returned to star in "Death on Credit." Apparently, that was the last we've seen of Ms. Boyce in the past quarter-century.

Unknown..."Anna" is desperate for cash. The sleazy Nick is only too happy to suggest what she can do to get the green, as green as she already is.

"BATTLE QUEEN 2020" (2001)
BATTLE QUEEN 2020 is a post apocalyptic sci-fi offering...with plenty of skin

JULIE STRAIN -- plays Gayle, who operates a bordello. Here she's making out with a new recruit.

CELIA HART -- As Melissa, she is recruited to serve .. but apparently learns to like it.

EVA NEMETH -- She plays one tough gal. Nice look to her, don't you think? Hasn't been in too many films. Credited here as "Eva Dawn Nemeth."


AGNES MOOREHEAD -- Is this an insane choice for Scoopy? Well, there's something in every woman, and if you look close enough... here she's kind of sexy. Well, you have to look very hard. No-nude scenes from THE BAT (1959). (And she doesn't play the title role.)

HEATHER HEWITT -- A pretty face! She probably thought her starring role in the notorious I EAT YOUR SKIN ("Zombies," 1964) was going to open doors for her, but she didn't bank on the film's being released some six or seven years later. The IMBd has a few latter day roles for her, but it's perhaps another by the same name. No nudity here, although she pretends to go skinny-dipping.

CATRIONA MacCOLL -- Another great face. Very lovely woman. Credited as Katherine MacColl in Lucio Fulci's 1981 "Quella Villa Accanto al Cimitero," better known as ZOMBIE HELL HOUSE, or "The House by the Cemetery." She also starred in Fulci's "City of the Living Dead." 51 today and still going strong, MacColl was rude enough to keep her clothes on for this film. I wanted to get an idea of what lay within, so I added a few peeks from one of Celeblover's old works.

AUDREY CAMPBELL plays Margot in 1963's nudie-comedy, "1000 Shapes of a Female." The idea was to examine the female "nude form seen through the eyes of a painter."

CHARLIZE THERON -- Old Scoopy ground revisited with a brief blouse removal from "The Yards" (2000).

Mister Grundy invites you to visit his Yahoo Group, Sick Sexy Sinema Shots.

The Gimp
The Gimp returns after an extened Euro trip and delivers a new batch of hardcore 'caps.

'Caps and comments by The Gimp:

From the 80's feature "Blonde Goddess" here is the B movie actress Barbara Peckinpaugh. She did a couple of adult movies as Susanna Britton. Two other 80's pornobabes are recognizable. They are Jacqueline Lorians and Loni Sanders.

Barbara Peckinpaugh aka Susanna Britton

Loni Sanders

Jacqueline Lorians

In a more recent plot-free disk, we have Euro-pornstar Michelle Wild. She has posed for some legitimate magazines like FHM or Maxim, so I figure she is almost famous. A babe named Tiffany Rose is also on the disk and since she is real nice looking I decided to include her, too.

Michelle Wild

Tiffany Rose

The Skin-man serves up some 'caps of Eva Green in her amazing (and fully nude) screen debut.

Here she is in scenes from "The Dreamers".

Tuna's condition is stable. Nothing new to report. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

Movie Reviews


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Other Crap
Plan 9 from Outer Space is now in the Public Domain and available as a free download.

SEXY (and sometimes obscure) ALBUM COVERS

'Blondie' Marks 75 Years on the Comics Pages. " the most widely read strip in comics history." Did you know that Dagwood was a rich playboy disinherited by his snooty family when he married the ditzy fapper named Blondie Boopadoop?

The two new movies open big on Friday.

  • Wonka kicked some butt with a $20 million Friday, and the Wedding Crashers came in with about $11m, which is great for an R-rated film. Fantastic Four dropped a precipitous amount from last Friday, from $21.2 million to $6.5 - just a hair below 70%!!

A maddening and fun brain-teaser: The Self-Referential Aptitude Test

  • .SPOILER AHEAD: You'll have more fun if you solve it, but if you get stuck, or if you really want to know the answers and at least one way (my no doubt inelegant way) to derive them, here is my quick summary of the solution.

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