Mean Mother (1973) is an Independent International Al Adamson release. The film was originally funded by Dennis Safron's father so his son could have a leading role, and as a tax shelter for him and his friends. They approached Al Adamson to release the resulting film, and Adamson flatly refused, saying that the film was total garbage and had no commercial value. They persisted, and he reluctantly agreed to reshoot, and convert the film to a blacksploitation effort, which would have some box office draw. The result is a total mess.

As the film starts, we see some badass black guys harass a black stripper before selling her dope, then meeting with another black guy to buy more dope. There is a gunfight, and the supplier (singer Dobie Gray) kills the others. Of course, this has nothing to do with the film. Gray and Safron are Nam buddies who desert and go their separate ways, only to end up together in Italy. They both have girls, both have mob problems, and both want to escape to Canada. I can't do much better in the way of a plot as the audio was so bad I couldn't hear most of the dialogue. The video is not much better. Gray's squeeze, Tracy King, aka Marilyn Joy, shows breasts in an after shower scene, then full frontal in an after sex pool scene.

IMDB readers say 1.6 of 10. The video quality, while worlds better than the audio, is still one of the worst transfers I have ever scene. The plot makes little or no sense. The only bright spot is Tracy King, who actually had talent, as evidenced by her career of 23 films. This is an easy F.

More on Bounty Huntress: Uncovered (2000):

Scoop's notes on Bountry Huntress: Uncovered, a film reviewed in yesterday's edition by Copperhead.

I have to think Chloe Nichole, usually called Chloe, is a porn actress after all. For one thing, she averages ten films per year, and has made 119 since her debut in 1991. If those are real movies, that's mighty productive, even by the standards of Eric Roberts. For another thing, these are some of the titles of the films she has made.

• Ozporns, The (2002) (V)
• Poon Raider (2001) (V)
• Welcum to Chloeville 3 (2001) (V)
• Captain Backdoor Adventures No. 4 (2000) (V)
• A Cum-Sucking Whore Named Tricia (2000) (V)
• I Came, Did You?!! (2000) (V)
• Pussy Grinders (2000) (V)
• Thighs Wide Open (2000) (V) .... Nikki Young
• Loose Screw (1999) (V)
• Perfect Pink 4: Wired Pink Gangbang (1999) (V)
• Stop! My Ass Is On Fire! 2 (1999) (V)
• What Makes You Cum? (1999) (V)
• Behind the Anal Door (1998) (V)
• Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio 11 (1998) (V)
• Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio 7 (1998) (V)
• Shut Up and Blow Me! 4 (1998) (V)
• Shut Up and Blow Me! 2 (1998) (V)
• Anal Holiday (1997) (V)
• Ancient Asian Sex Secrets (1997) (V)
• Back Street (1997) (V)
• Butt Banged Naughty Nurses (1997) (V)
• Buttslammers 16 (1997) (V)
• Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures 36 (1997) (V)
• Gang Bang Girl 17 (1996) (V)
• Anal Addict (1995) (V)
• Anal Anarchy (1995) (V) (as Chloe Nicholle)
• Cumback Pussy (1995) (V)

Maybe I'm naive, but those sound like porn movies to me. Here are some clues:

• The dreaded "(V)". Not one of the ones on that list has made a theatrical or even a cable debut.
• "Legitimate" movies rarely produce 36 sequels, like Dirty Bob's Excellent Adventures. Except maybe the ones with Freddy and Jason.
• Most important, you rarely see Gwyneth Paltrow or Katharine Hepburn in any movie with "cum-sucking" in the title. On the other hand, if you find such a film, I am interested.

By the way, "Nicole Hilbig" is a German porn and soft-porn actress. She is usually billed as Dru Barrymore.

I can't explain the "Bounty Huntress" title, but the IMDB does list the film, under the title Pleasures of Sin, and it is rated a sterling 2.0/10 by IMDb voters. IMDb does not indicate that there is a DVD available, but there must be, based on the fact that Copperhead has seen it!

Apparently it was a big deal of sorts within the industry when it was released, because the film was first aired on  HBO/Cinemax and it featured hardcore stars crossing over into R-rated late night cable. It was announced with the following press release:

August 17, 2000 12:58pm
Adult Stars Go Mainstream
Source: Creative Image Management and Casting
by: Company Press Release

(LOS ANGELES, CA) -- Starting August 21st - Chloe, Nicole Hilbig aka Dru Berrymore, Nikki Steele, Alex Foxe will be starring in "Pleasures Of Sin" for Mainline Releasing, an R rated erotic thriller for worldwide release.

Casting by Robert Lombard at Creative Image Management and Casting.

Creative Image Management would like to thank all the adult stars who have expressed interest in Late Night Cable Programming.

I don't know if I'd agree with the definition of "mainstream" in that press release. I think of mainstream movies as the ones my wife and daughter go to, movies which may be r-rated, but are intended for mass audiences. To me, mainstream films star people like Tom Hanks and Charlize Theron. My guess is that in the porn industry "mainstream" means "non-hardcore".

OTHER CRAP:

• Who would have guessed that Maxim read our site so religiously?
• create your own HEINEKEN Hoax Headlines (like the Maxim page above)
• what if there were Honest Movie Posters!
• Top 11 Draculas of all time
• Ghettopoly Board game - Stolen Property Fencing Game
• This cop can't be bribed - no matter how many donuts you offer him
• The motherlode of 1980s TV Commercials
• Star Wars Geek alert: Episode III spoilers
• Brit's new bare midriff look!
• Li'l Kim can't seem to find a bikini that fits her
• A new look for Jennifer Love Hewitt
• Forget about blaming Canada. Blame France! You've read about the President's false claims about the Iraqi purchase of African uranium? Turns out it's France's fault! Who says the President is dumb? He seems to have found an all-purpose scapegoat.
• Why pay for the cow when you can rent the milk on the internet?. In fact, now you can rent the entire cow on the internet.
• Soothing diplomacy from that subtle Australian ambassador, Russell Crowe.
• An Irvine, California, company called Talking Presidents has begun to sell a Barbie-sized 'Talking Bill Clinton.' The $30 doll sports white hair, a suit and black-and-blue striped tie and spouts infamous Clinton quotes like, 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman.' All lines are delivered in Clinton's actual voice.
• This man has a bizarre sense of humor. This web page is "created" by a fictional historical revisionist who contends that only Germans died in WW2.
• Ashton Kutcher is threatening to sue the The Evening Standard after it allegedly made up quotes about how much he likes eating Demi Moore. He says that it's all a misunderstanding. He actually said he likes eating Dinty Moore. OK, I made a lot of that up.
• Thursday at 4pm PT, ESPN will stage 'Pete Rose on Trial. The mock trial will decide Rose's Hall of Fame status and will be taped at Harvard Law School. The broadcast will feature ESPN's Bob Ley as host and CNN's Jeffrey Toobin as legal analyst. The prosecution will be led by Alan Dershowitz, and Rose's defense team will be represented by Johnnie Cochran. Cochran's defense: 'Rose could hit, so you must acquit.' "
• An Australian woman has ripped her way into the record books by giving bikini waxes to 130 people in four hours. Her parents must be proud.
• A sad Baghdad Bob leaves Baghdad, perhaps forever. Gives press conference in Abu Dhabi, denies he left Baghdad at all.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

UPDATES:

• New volumes: Esmerelda DeLarocca, Taimie Hannum, Demetra Hampton, Jennifer Leigh Hammon, Wendy Hamilton, Stacy Haiduk, Dayle Haddon, Gladys Jiminez, Marlene Jobert, Katie Jordon, Barbara Joyce, Ruby Larocca, Dagmar Lassander, Lucy Lawless, Katie Lohmann, Alexandra Maria Lara, Gudrun Landgrebe, Hedy Lamarr, Meme Lai, Pauline Lafont, Glynnis O'Connor, Franka Potente (Runnin' Lola), Mama Michelle Phillips, Zoe Paul, Cindy Rothrock
• Updated volumes: Sean Young, Susannah York, Kim Yates

PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

• Daryl Hannah is already prepared for Talk Like a Pirate Day! Are you? (Details at www.talklikeapirate.com)

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

'Caps and more comments by C2000:

"Stark Raving Mad" (2002)

Stifler organizes a rave to disguise the noise caused by a bank vault break in he is forced to undertake by Lou Diamond Phillips. During the course of the evening Stifler has to deal with Chinese triads, loitering FBI agents, a rampaging Lolita who happens to be the daughter of one the agents, and a psychotic ex-girlfriend. That's just on the dance floor. His gang and bumbling assistant need kid glove treatment too.

The film, unsurprisingly, has many scenes with annoying disco lighting and Mike Figgis inspired multiple screens that I absolutely hate. The movie is implausible just like the idea of Stifler as criminal mastermind, even though his performance was the best thing about the movie.

Monet Mazur shows her butt in a thong. Natassia Malthe shows her butt without a thong. Natassia is a recent Maxim model who seems to act under the name Lina Teal. She was credited as Lina here and in 40 Days 40 Nights where she bared her butt.

• Reagan Dale Neis

• Monet Mazur (1, 2)

• Natassia Malthe

HEF READIES FOR MAGAZINE'S 50TH BIRTHDAY
He's Up For Anything - Hugh Hefner, 77, is gearing up to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Bunny-mag, but he says he has no plans to retire. Hefner said, "I'm the luckiest man on the planet. What I'm doing keeps me young." He said he'll be "doing it as long as I can," adding, "My mother lived to be 101 and was very vital when she passed away."