Dinosaur Valley Girls (1996) is
categorized as Action/Adventure/Comedy/Sci-Fi,
and is a low budget exploitation film directed by
Donald F. Glut (rhymes with toot). Equally
unknown for his acting, he also wrote this one. I
viewed the Uncut Directors version. I assumed
there would at least be plenty of nudity. You
should never assume anything. Perhaps the most
amazing thing about this film is that Glut is
actually proud of it, and has a second side to
the DVD for Special Features, and a full length
directors commentary, with such useful comments
as "Look how the cell phone changed from tan
to black between the two scenes. The rental
company was out of tan phones the second
Let me have a go at the plot. An out-of-shape
Kung Fu movie hero has a girlfriend who is trying
to use him to land a big part. He is absorbed
with a dream he has about a prehistoric valley
with dinosaurs and a cave girl who loves him for
his body -- not his connections. While visiting a
museum to learn more about dinosaurs and possible
figure out what is causing his dreams, he makes a
wish on a medallion and ends up in dinosaur
valley. There, the dinosaurs are mean, the men
fight and fart, and the women live elsewhere. He
saves the life of the women who has been in his
dreams, and she paves the way for him to get
along with the women. There might be some other
nuance ... oh, yea. They have sex, but mostly
off-camera. The prehistoric women do show their
boobs from time to time.
The dinosaurs are a combination of stop-motion
animation of hand painted plastic models, one
actual animated model, and some real lizards.
There are two reasons for the real lizards.
First, one of them was the personal pet of the
director. Second, they serve to show how bad the
stop motion animation really is. Shot in the
scenic wilds of San Fernando Valley, a cave in
Griffith Park and on a soundstage, scenes of the
same terrain look totally different depending on
what is superimposed on the foreground (actor,
dinosaur model, anamitron or real lizard).
Important things I learned from this film:
- Prehistoric women all wore black Spandex
thongs under their fake animal skin
- Breast enhancement was available long
before we ever suspected.
- The militant anti-smokers date back
- Women will put up with anything - even
flatulence and poor hygiene -- if their
man learns to kiss them.
- Writting and delivering dialogue is much
easier if everyone is using a made-up
language of two syllable words.
Far more complex than the single
syllable English spoken by our hero.
- Prehistoric bras go on and off far more
easily than modern ones (even a dinosaur
took one off).
- Not every film that is "so bad"
For those of you that can't wait to buy this
one, there is some good news. There is more
nudity than I used.
Denise Ames (1,
Griffin Drew (1,
Michelle Stanger (1,
|Today's scans are from the new
issue of Celebrity Skin. This magazine has
been almost all movie frames the last couple of
issues. I ain't that good a scanner anyway, but
scans of magazine scans of vidcaps just come out
lookin' like bullshit vidcaps. So here are the
ones that seemed like I never saw 'em on yo page.
I know that you and some yo fellow peckawoods
know a lot about movies, so maybe I mess up and
send some you already seen. But fuck ya if ya
can't take a mofo'n joke. You crackas all fucked
up anyway. She-it, you still think all brothas
can sing, even after you heard Lenny Kravitz.
Cates, "Big City Blues" Xaviera
Hollander, "My Pleasure is My Business"
Hollander just naked somewhere else. Maybe a
bowling alley or something. Lara
Flynn Boyle, "Cafe Society" Charlotte
Lewis in "Storyville"
Clark and George" (1996)
cliche of cliches. Gang of amoral outlaws, people
with nothing in common, but loosely confederated
out of greed, go on a murder and weirdness spree
on a road trip through the Southwest, hoping to
make a zillion dollars and high-tail it across
the border to riches and ease in Mexico.
It's sort of like a more relaxed and comedic
version of Natural Born Killers. The movie is
distinguished by the fact that it may be the only
movie ever made where every character has an IQ
under 80. No exceptions. The main characters, the
people they meet along the way, the antagonists,
their victims - everyone. Although nobody else on
earth reviewed this picture, the Austin Chronicle
wrote an especially good and thorough review of
it. They didn't like it very much, but they
didn't completely detest it either. I guess they
reviewed it because there were some Austinites
involved in the film. Anyway here
is their review.
For our own purposes, we may note that there
was plenty of vigorous sex, almost all of it
completely irrelevant to the plot. I mean they
introduced three unnecessary characters just so
our heroes could sleep with them, then dropped
the characters just as abruptly. On the other
hand, the lead actress, Rose McGowan, did only a
very brief, dark and tasteful topless scene which
was in fact necessary to the story in both tone
Rose McGowan (1, 2, 3) Tamara
Clatterbuck Paula Sorge
If you asked the typical American to describe
the typical French film, he would come up with
something like this movie. No action, minimal
development. A group of neurotic intellectuals
chain-smoking cigarettes and discussing women and
Spinoza. Some of the main characters are even
Now, don't get me wrong, I like Spinoza as
much as the next guy. Come to think of it, the
next guy doesn't really know who Spinoza is, and
the other guys in line don't know anything
either. And the occasional guy who does recognize
Spinoza's name either doesn't know anything about
his contribution to modern thought, or doesn't
like the tedious little fart. There's only one
guy who actually likes Spinoza, so it isn't hard
to keep tabs on the Spinoza fan club, and I can
give you his name and address in the Hague, if
you like. So I guess I was right before - I like
him as much as the next guy. I had to memorize
some quick facts about him in a survey course.
The usual stuff - major works, catch phrases,
height, weight, on-base percentage. When the
final exam was over, I promptly cleared Spinoza
out of that valuable space in my brain, in order
to have more room to store the Carling
A little known fact. Walt Disney's "Spin
and Marty" was based on a joint biography of
Spinoza and Martin Buber, in which the author
used these two great philosophical giants, both
Jewish men who were experts in Christian
theology, to reconcile the seeming paradoxes in
Judeo-Christian thought. Disney simplified it a
bit, into a story of a rich kid and a regular kid
who went to the same summer camp, but it still
carried the profound essence and spiritual
duality of the original.
By the way, for you non-French readers who
don't know her, Marianne Denicourt is a beautiful
woman. Unfortunately, this DVD is of a very weak
quality which doesn't show off the women or the
photography, and I don't recommend it at all,
except for that one guy who likes Spinoza, and
you know who you are, four-eyes.
Marianne Denicourt (1,
You thought John Woo was a big-time action
director now, since Face/off? So what is he doing
directing a zero budget movie starring Dolph
Lundgren and made for the USA network, just
released on DVD?
It's an atrociously bad movie, but it does
have one particularly brilliant and creative
action scene. Let me describe it. Lundgren is in
a room on an upper story of a house, bad guys
throw in a grenade. Lundgren jumps out the window
just as the grenade goes off. Bad guys enter the
room to see what has happened, hoping to find a
fried Lundgren. But Lundgren's jump landed him on
a poolside trampoline, and he has bounced back up
to their level, where he is seen outside the
window with two handguns blazing. Sayonara, bad
guys. There are a couple of other beautifully
choreographed action scenes as well, but the
movie itself is duller than dishwater.
And no nudity at all!
||Naturally, from "The
Graduate". I don't need to say a thing about
this movie to the older....I mean "more
mature" viewers. But for you youngsters out
there...watch this movie. Before you do, consider
the following: there are no explosions, gun
fights, stand up comedians, or martial arts
sequences. There is nudity, but it's not
gratuitous. As you watch you will probably stop
and say "Hey, they stole that scene from
"Wayne's World 2" ", or "I
saw that on the "Simpsons"". Well,
actually, reverse that.
I saw this movie when
I was about to graduate high school, and I really
related to it. Although it is dated in many
aspects, the overall message of confused youth
standing at the crossroads of life still rings
true. Parents want you to do one thing, friends
want another, and there you are, not really
knowing what you want. Green, naive, and for the
first time able to choose your own path. But
which path? Just go rent it!
||From the movie
"M.A.S.H". Another classic. Again, for
the younger crowd who may only know of the TV
show from re-runs. This was the first
introduction to the gang at the 4077th, directed
by Robert Altman. The scenes 'capped here are of
the quest to discover whether or not "Hot
Lips" Houlihan is a real blonde.
||No nudity, but pretty spicey stuff for 1956!
||From "The Misfits". A
pretty cool find...this is an almost exposed
breast from the famous blonde bombshell.
Again...consider the date of the movie 1961!
||One of the 'Harts' from the
"Hart to Hart" series of shows and TV
movies. Here she is topless from 1970's
"Crescendo". A little dark, but the
nudity is there.
||Busty babe taking her top off from 1974's
||From 1971's "Doc". Hard to see, but
there is some topless exposure there.
|WhyScan's Page Three
|If Page Three is unfamiliar to
link describes the Page Three tradition.
|Today's Page 3 girl....Maria, 25,
from Guildford. (1, 2, 3, 4)
|Comments by Oz:
Unfortunately, these collages are not the best
quality but I find her a very sexy looking
actress. When Sara, which is a Polish film, was
made she would only just have been 18.
story is not particularly original. Agnieszka
plays Sara, the daughter of a local Polish Mafia
boss. The hero of the film is an ex-commando, who
because of unfortunate circumstances, is now an
alcoholic. One day when he is having a drink he
intervenes in a potential murder and saves Sara's
father. It's amazing how quickly he sobers up and
regains his skills. The father, in gratitude,
employs him to act as a personal bodyguard to his
Naturally she objects and plays up but, after
he saves her life, she starts to see him as a
lover. The rest of the movie is about how they
meet and continue to deceive the father. It ends
when she becomes pregnant, there's a few more
killings and they ride off into the sunset.
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
|Comments by Oz:
The first film is Pandemonium and I have no idea
what the film is about. It's absolute rubbish. In
the 80s the government gave a large tax
deductibility to film makers and a lot of trashy
films were made purely as a tax deduction. Amanda
starts the film topless and in a thong (first
collage) 'landing' on a beach. Why? Who knows.
She stays that way for most of the film,
occasionally going completely naked (collages 3
and 4). It should be rated NRF (no redeeming
The second film, Midnite Spares, is
a little better and is about low level gang
warfare between car repair businesses. As you can
seen in collage 6, she plays a stripper.
|Former bunnybabe shedding her
fur for the Italian Max. Hot Stuff!
#6 and #7 are essentially the same pics with
slightly different exposure and filters. #6 shows
more torso and the has a blue filter over it. By
the way...there's nekkid skin everywhere in
|No holds barred full frontal
poses, by Brainscan
|Vidcaps from "Frivolous
Lola". Topless, full frontal, and some
excellent posterior views!
|Bunny babe from June 1985,
observed by a German TV team during a photo shoot
in Julie Strain's garden. A very interesting find
||Vidcaps with breast exposure
from "Lexx" by NMD. There is even a
clear nipple in the bottom row on the right.
||Topless vidcaps from "Never on
Tuesday", by Don Juan.
||Barely dressed, and looking great at the
||An interesting fake look at our first lady
|Proof that the Fun House is good
|After all, there is no more
trusted source than the Weekly World News! They
do have the 8th largest circulation of any paper
in in the world you know!
Thanks to RDO for sending this in!
||Now this is how it should be! I know the Euro
Scoopy fans love your football, but face it, in
America...it just isn't working for us as a
spectator sport. However...If all the players
looked like this, I can guarantee that Women's
Soccer would have higher ratings than the Super