Thursday

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Crash (2005)

Is it a biopic of Ray Corrigan?

Nah.

It's "Short Cuts" meets "Two Days in the Valley" meets "Grand Canyon" meets "Pulp Fiction" meets "Magnolia" - which is to say it is an episodic ensemble drama which takes place over a short period of time and features unrelated lives which are somehow mysteriously and fortuitously interconnected.

Yes, this technique has been overused. And, yes, the concept can lacks credibility when everyone keeps running into everyone else in a metropolitan area of ten million people. But you have to realize that this is no longer a trope or a device, but merely a screen convention. Is it believable that two Nazi officers speak to one another in English? Of course not. We accept it because it is an accepted convention of English language films. There are several ways to do it, and we accept all of them. In some movies they speak German with subtitles. In other movies, they speak English with German accents. In other movies, they simply speak the English of native English speakers. Neither of the last two options is believable, but we accept those choices because they are conventional. The same is true of the coincidences in these ensemble dramas. We just accept the fact that any given dozen people in L.A. will not only run into one of the other twelve, but possibly several of them. Face it, dude, if I choose you as one of my twelve people to focus on, there is nothing you can do to avoid meeting the other eleven. It works just like in that Final Destination movie - your destiny is sealed. Even if you decide to stay home in bed all day, one of the twelve will come to the door to sell you Grit Magazine; another will fly a private plane through your second story window; a third will arrive with the paramedics who respond to the plane crash; and so forth. It is also noteworthy that the other eleven will not only run into you, but into one another as well. The kid selling Grit will be the nephew of the pilot, and will sell a subscription to the paramedic.

That's a wacky ol' thang I like to call Karakter Kismet.

I blame Thonton Wilder for this convention.

"Thornton Wilder? There's a blast from the past! Wasn't he a great playwright and novelist from many decades ago?"

Yup, but he's the man to blame. Last week I blamed Eugene O'Neill and his play Strange Interlude for all the unnecessary gimmicks used in "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers" to reveal the thoughts of the characters. This time I blame Thornton Wilder and "The Bridge of San Luis Rey" for all the mysterious interconnections that permeate ensemble dramas. That book featured a humble monk who decided to investigate the lives of some people killed together while crossing a collapsing bridge. He wanted to determine why God had chosen those particular people to die that day. He spent five years researching five people who were crossing a bridge on the same day and found the highly dreaded "mysterious interconnections." Since Wilder was a great writer, he was able to use the technique to create a Pulitzer winning novel, and in the end the interconnections really meant nothing at all. The monk abandoned his quest for the link between them, set aside all thoughts of the meaning of their deaths, and decided to write about the meaning of their lives: "Almost no one remembers Esteban and Pepita but myself. Soon we shall die and all memory of those five will have left the earth, and we ourselves should be loved for awhile and forgotten. But the love will have been enough."

Unfortunately, very few of us remember the beauty and depth of Wilder's story, but the goddamned mysterious interconnections live on.

This is yet further proof of my hypothesis that great playwrights can be blamed for everything which can not be blamed on the Bossa Nova. It always boils down to that choice. Let's say you get fired from your cushy job as a drawbridge oiler. Maybe your wife ran away with her tango instructor, a guy named Raoul with a pencil-thin moustache. You could blame yourself, but you should not. The culprit is either George Bernard Shaw or the Bossa Nova.

In defense of Crash, it does earn the right to use the much despised mysterious interconnections because there is actually a point to it. The film posits that we seem to hate one another all too often, and yet we depend on one another. Sophisticated Thandie Newton hates the racist white cop who once felt her up under the flimsy pretense of a weapon pat-down, and yet the same cop later saves her life after an auto accident, by willingly assuming a risk to his own life that he might have avoided. How should she feel about him then? She hated him. She needed him. Perhaps she later hated the fact that she needed him.

Crash is about racism, but not about the kind of racism that causes us to jail or even hang strangers for their skin color, but about the kind of racism that permeates the everyday lives of most of us. What small, unarmed white woman, no matter how liberal and sophisticated her thinking, has not felt fear at walking alone on a deserted city street directly toward two large young black men? Would she feel the same fear if they were white? If the answer is no, it's racism, and most of us are guilty of it. Oh, don't act blameless. You are guilty of it as well, no matter who you are. Yesterday I was in a convenience store, expecting to have to explain a complicated request to the clerk in words he would understand. I didn't know the guy, but my mind worked in that direction because he had an Asian face. As it turns out, he was a Japanese-American college student who spoke English approximately as well as William F. Buckley Jr, but that isn't really germane. He might have turned out to be incapable of understanding me, just as I anticipated, but my point would still be the same. I assumed he would be unable to speak English only because he looked Asian. If he had been a blond guy in the same job, I would have assumed no such problem. That's what prejudice is all about. The word itself means "to judge in advance" - to assume that an individual will behave a certain way because he or she is a member of a certain group.

This kind of racism is an important part of our social conditioning. How many times in high school were you reminded that your school was better than Such-and-such Academy? How many times did you start a sentence with "kids from that school are ..." This social conditioning is nothing uniquely American. As an American expatriate for many years, I can't tell you how many times I heard how "you Yanks" or "you Americans" think. What the hell is that all about, anyway? Am I supposed to think like Darth Cheney or Good Time Ralphie Nader? We seem to want to validate ourselves by believing that the group we belong to is the best one. Not merely "as good as" the others, but better. Perhaps it is because we are unhappy with our personal accomplishments and need the vicarious superiority of the group we belong to or would like to belong to. Or not. What the hell do I know? Ask Dr. Phucking Phil.

At any rate, Crash is about that kind of racism, the kind of assumptions we make about individuals. Ryan Phillippe plays a liberal cop who ends up shooting a black hitchhiker because a situation escalates from a simple misunderstanding -  he gets irritated and distrustful because the black man says he loves ice hockey and country music. Phillippe assumes that he's being ridiculed, and an atmosphere of antagonism develops. As it turns out, the black guy was speaking without irony, but who would have guessed? We make assumptions. Even good people. The film goes to great pains to establish that Phillippe is a compassionate liberal man, then ends up turning him into a murderer for having made the wrong assumptions about a black man. The film goes to great pains to establish that even the "bad cop" (Matt Dillon) is a good man deep inside, a guy who risks his life for people and cares tenderly for his dad. Yet he is filled with racist assumptions which in his case are very close to the surface. Those assumptions are a part of our lives, not because we are evil, but because, as the old song goes, "you've got to be carefully taught" to be a racist, and our society teaches us well.

I don't love this movie the way some of the critics do (Ebert: ★★★★), but I like it. Assuming you have no problem accepting the much abhorred "mysterious interconnections" convention, it packs a lot of emotional punch, and I liked the fact that it used humor to lighten the load of the ongoing ominous music and Greek Tragedy plotting. I really enjoyed the banter between Ludacris and Larenz Tate as two intelligent black carjackers who are always bickering about how black males fit into society. They function as kind of a Greek chorus for the film, and provide the kind of funny, everyday insights that Travolta and Jackson provided in Pulp Fiction. The film could have used more of that humor, especially from the non-black characters. Are black people the only Americans with a sense of humor?

The director is named James Haggis, so Crash is without a doubt the best film ever directed by a man named after a Scottish specialty food, and also best among all animal offal food theme films of the past year. The Haggis film is rated 8.5 at IMDb, edging out last year's Scrapple (7.6).

Crash may have been the best word of mouth film of 2005. As I type this, it has grossed $52 million, despite taking in only $9 million on opening weekend, and never reaching as many as 2000 screens. It actually did better in its fifth week than it did in its fourth. Most films take in between  3x and 4x their opening weekend. Films significantly below 3x generally suffer from bad word of mouth (Gigli had something like 1.6x), while films significantly higher than 3x are built by the whisper network. (My Big Fat Greek Wedding pulled in 80x!) Crash will finish with 6x. I think the only other major non-children's movie above 4x this year is Hitch, so Crash won that race going away. It is the only 2005 film to reach $50 million with an opening weekend below $9 million.

Jennifer Esposito

Hankster

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

The Big Bird Cage (1972)

Today the Time Machine ventures back to 1972 and a look at a Women in Prison movie called "The Big Bird Cage".
We kick it off with former "Price is Right" model Anitra Ford. She gives us some boobs & delightful ass in the shower ...
... a bush flash when her robe flops open ...
... more of the ol' George Dubya in a rape scene ...
... and then she becomes a "Babe in Bondage" when she is suspended by her hair.
Then we have Wendy Green showing off a bare boob.
Next Teda Bracci teasing a gay guard with her tits.
What would a WIP flick be without Pam Grier? Well, she's here, although not naked. She has a catfight with Teda Bracci (who has breast exposure in the scene.)
Then we have Pam with brief nip slips ..  
Then we have Pam with brief nip slips and awesome cleavage.  
Karen McKevic running stark naked thru the woods.
Carol Speed with some downblouse.
Finally Rizza Fabian boobs exposed in an open blouse.

Zononon Zor

Death Game (1977)

Colleen Camp

Sondra Locke

The Pyx (1973)

Karen Black

The Crimson Ghost

Kiss The Girls (1997)

(???) The ol' Specter said he wasn't sure of this ID, If you know for sure who it is, let us know.

 

Chopping Mall (1986)

Suzee Slater

 

Barbara Crampton

Karrie Emerson (no nudity)

Here are the accompanying zipped .wmv files for each actress.

 

Herr Haut

Nowhere Man (2005)

Debbie Rochon

Unbeständig und kühl (1995)

Sandra Nettelbeck

The Boys and Girls from County Claire (2003)

Cha Cha Seigne

La Carne (1991)

Francesca Dellera

Variety

The Simian Line (2000) . I don't know much about this film, but it includes a brief, sudsy Cindy Crawford nude scene, so it's got that goin' for it.

 

Here's the zipped .avi which was the source of the still images above.

Tuna

Tuna's condition is stable. Nothing new to report. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is tuna@scoopy.com

Movie Reviews

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

 

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

 

Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com

Pat's comments in yellow:

SADDAM SUFFERING

Fruit Of The Loon - Saddam Hussein's lawyers are complaining that authorities are not being cooperative about the personal needs required of such an important person in prison.  They say he's suffering from boredom; his request for more clothes was refused and he has to wash his own clothes by hand every day, since he won't let the staff touch them; and he had to ask his lawyer for extra cotton underwear and cigarettes because "he is being given low-quality cigarettes."

*  As the former leader of Iraq, he demands Camels!
*  Personally, I say we give Saddam all the cigarettes he can smoke.
*  And once, he got Pringles, when they know he prefers Doritos!... First Gitmo, now this!  Will the torture never cease?!!
*  His lawyers are the only people more out of touch with reality than he is.



NAKED THIEF ARRESTED

He Had Grit - Police in Latvia have captured a man who was robbing women on a beach while naked.  At least three young women were victimized by the man, who allegedly approached them wearing only a baseball cap and stole their personal items.  Police recovered three stolen cell phones.  They believe the nudity was a tactic meant to scare the women into running away.

*  It didn't, but it made them paralyzed with laughter.
*  He has so much body hair, they thought he was Big Foot.
*  The women didn't want the cell phones back, because of where the naked man was hiding them.




10TH ANNUAL REDNECK GAMES

Pukes Of Hazzard - Over the weekend, more than 15,000 people jammed Buckeye Park in East Dublin, Georgia, for the 10th Annual Redneck Games.  The crowd ranged from toothless men in overalls to cigarette-puffing pregnant women in Confederate flag bikinis.  The competitive sports included bellyflopping in a mudhole and bobbing for raw pig's knuckles in a bucket of water.

*  ...while chewing tobacco.
*  Well, I guess we know where Britney Spears and Kevin Federline spent the weekend.
*  At last, the South as seen through the eyes of the New York Times.
*  Since Paris didn't get the Olympics, maybe they'd like to host this?
*  Why do rednecks need an annual get-together?  They already have NASCAR every weekend.





WOMEN PREFER SEXY, UNCOMFORTABLE BRAS

Newest Style: Barbed Underwire - The Australian Consumers' Association sent 12 women into lingerie and department stores to ask the staff's help in buying bras.  Almost 70 percent ended up with bras that were too small or the wrong shape, which can cause poor posture; back, shoulder and neck pain; chafing and tingling fingers from nerve deadening.  But the women overwhelmingly described the bras as comfortable, proving that women have low expectations of comfort and would rather squeeze their breasts into stylish bras that make them look good than buy bras that fit.

*  Maybe the tight bras cut off blood circulation to their brains.
*  Women need low expectations: it's the only way they can date the guys who expect them to wear those bras.
*  "Wonderbras" got their name because it's a wonder women can wear them without screaming.
*  The study found the exact same results for shoes.
*  Ironically, all men want from a woman's bra is that it be held together with Velcro.





BUTTER FLIES: MARIAH CAREY'S WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

Took Out Half Of The Front Row - Mariah Carey was performing in Karlsruhe, Germany, when she had a wardrobe malfunction and her dress fell down, exposing her breasts.  But the audience barely got a glimpse before a crew member doused the lights and Carey pulled up her dress in the dark.  She joked, "Someone bring me a jacket or the show's off, we all know how quickly these images can spread around the world," then ran backstage.

*  Coincidentally, the only place where cameras WERE allowed.
*  Meanwhile, the crowd beat the crew member to death.
*  People didn't have time to notice the difference between Mariah dressed and Maria half-naked...not that there IS much difference.
*  Justin Timberlake declared that he was nowhere NEAR Karlsruhe!
*  This is nothing: Courtney Love's done entire concerts with her dress over her head.




SPICE GIRLS STAGE COMEBACK, BUT NOBODY COMES BACK

Scary Stuff, Kids! - The Spice Girls are making a comeback album, but they're not even sharing the same continent.  The five members are cutting their vocal tracks separately in studios ranging from Los Angeles to London to Madrid.  Mel B (Scary Spice's) refusal to reunite at the Live 8 concerts added to the tension, and they couldn't agree on where to get together.  So they're letting a producer merge the tracks and hoping for the best.

*  No, hope for the worst!  It's worked before!
*  That may be tough, since they also refused to sing the same song.
*  What, a Spice Girls album that's just created by some studio producer? Ridiculous!!
*  Now, they're the Space Girls...They all need their space.




MICHAEL BAY STRIKES AGAIN

Stop Him Before He Directs Again! - Michael Bay, director of such high-decibel stinkers as "Pearl Harbor" and "Armageddon," revealed that during filming of his new movie, "The Island," hot young actress Scarlet Johansson said the bra she was given to wear for a shirtless scene was cheap and ugly, so "I'm going naked."  Bay said he told her, "It's PG-13, you have to wear the bra."

*  And now, there is no reason to see this movie whatsoever.
*  The Michael Bay Creed: "Better to have a PG-13 piece of crap than an R-rated movie with one minute of actual entertainment."
*  One more reason that critics will be saying, "Scarlet Johansson is wasted in this movie."
* "The Island" is where Michael Bay will have to move to keep from getting lynched by moviegoers.


PAIN DON'T HURT ... OR DO IT?

It was announced that Hollywood is planning to make "Hollow Man 2," "Road House 2" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer 3"

* Well, I know what I'm NOT doing next summer...

(NOTE! Our friend Scoop, of the Uncle Scoopy's Funhouse website, the world's leading proponent of the movie "Road House," replied, "What's next?  'Pedos, The Feet Of Fate'?")

Other Crap

New scientific study proves that scientific studies are wrong. But if scientific studies are wrong, and it is a scientific study, then IT is wrong. But if it is wrong, then scientific studies aren't wrong. But if scientific studies are not wrong, and it is a scientific study ... Oh, no! It's the Mudd's Robots Paradox!
 

PBS launches NerdTV

 

The Internet Archive Is Sued Because Their Archive Was Used in Another Suit. Only in America. A law firm was defending a client against a trademark action, but they had an impossible task because of their client's archived web pages. How could even the weaseliest of lawyers weasel out of that one? Why, isn't it obvious? Sue the internet archives for daring to keep an accurate historical record of public web pages! There is no dispute about whether the archives are correct, only about their right to do the archiving.

 

Write Karl Rove a Letter of Support and Stand Against the Democratic Lynching of America's #1 Son! (WHITEHOUSE.ORG). They actually have a one-click hyperlink that will send a letter to Rove with copies to Robert Novak and every major American news organization.

 

"WACKY NEW L.A. CRIME FIGHTER . . . WEDGIE MAN - MASTER OF THE ATOMIC WEDGIE"'
 

 

'Toyboy', 31, marries his 70-year-old sweetheart

 

An early draft of the film "Starman"

 

You think the plot of Team America was fictional? The FBI needs actors!

  • "The bureau is seeking bids from firms that can provide at least 60 civilian role players to staff these training scenarios for 12 months (and perhaps for four option years). The role players portray bank robbers, terrorists, murderers, crime victims, and witnesses. They sometimes carry weapons, engage in paintball shootouts with FBI trainees, and should be prepared to be "handcuffed in a variety of positions (i.e., standing, kneeling, prone, walking backwards on their knees)."
 

Signs and Wonders - Funny Church Signs

 

A fascinating look inside the life of one of Kim Jong Il's former bodyguards

 

A virtual tour of a U-505 Submarine at the Museum of Science and Industry

 

Both of this week's new movies are critical successes: Wedding Crashers - 87% positive reviews. The general consensus is that Wedding Crashers uses a old-fashioned tried-and-true formula of sentimentality and bawdy humor, ala American Pie.

 

This week's movies: Chuck and the Chocs - 85% positive reviews. So far, the critics have given the new Wonka flick a warm response.
 

 

Here are nine new film clips from Bad Santa New Bears.

 

Three more clips from The Devil's Rejects, Rob Zombie's sequel to "House of 1000 Corpses"

 

A new, revised version of the trailer for Steve Carell's new comedy, The 40 Year Old Virgin (Carell has really dropped a ton of weight since Anchorman.)

 

A featurette about Hustle And Flow

  • I have written many times, since he was just a minor player, that Terrence Dashon Howard is a superstar waiting to happen. This may be his moment. Did you know he has a degree in Chemical Engineering?
  • "Hustle & Flow" is the redemptive story of a streetwise Memphis hustler trying to find his voice and realize his long-buried dreams. Though DJay (Terrence Howard) has always had a way with words, that gift has long been misused; this philosopher-hustler lives a dead-end life at the fringes of society. Anything more feels out of reach. Still, DJay wonders what happened to all the big dreams he had for his life. A chance encounter with an old friend, Key (Anthony Anderson), a sound engineer who has always wanted to make it in the music business, spurs DJay: if he's ever going to make his mark, it has to happen now. He begins to write down his freestyle raps - his flow - and the two team up with Shelby (DJ Qualls), a church musician with a beat machine, to lay down bass-thumping crunk tracks. DJay's metamorphosis affects his entire house, as the women in his life - Shug (Taraji P. Henson) and Nola (Taryn Manning) - find ways to contribute to the creative process. With the impending visit to Memphis of hometown platinum-selling rapper Skinny Black (Ludacris), DJay has to make one last hustle if he's ever going to flow.
 

The trailers for Separate Lies.

  • "Separate Lies," is written and directed by Academy Award winning screenwriter, Julian Fellowes and marks his directorial debut. Emily Watson ("Breaking The Waves," "Gosford Park") stars as Anne, who enjoys a seemingly perfect marriage to James, Tom Wilkinson ("The Full Monty," "In the Bedroom"), until the arrival of Bill, Rupert Everett ("My Best Friend's Wedding") and a tragic accident in their idyllic country village looks set to unravel their Lies forever. On the surface, Anne and James enjoy a perfect marriage. They slip easily between their two homes - one in London, convenient for James's city job, the other in idyllic rural countryside. James believes their life is happy and fulfilled, but is blinkered to Anne's happiness and when Anne meets the enigmatic and carefree Bill Bule her world shatters and she realises she can never be truly happy with James again. Anne's affair with Bill comes to light when James discovers the pair were involved in a tragic accident, which killed a local man. Faced with the shocking reality of Anne's revelations, a bereft James responds with a loving resolve to protect Anne. But as he becomes embroiled in the accident investigation, life's unpredictability once more alters the course of their Lies.
 

Here is the trailer for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

 

Speaking of Harry, The new Harry Potter book, still unreleased, is already amazon.com's best selling new product release ever. Amazon has priced the 672 page book at 18 bucks for pre-orders.

 

 

This is an actual living tree - a ficus - which has been cultivated into the shape of a hut. If you go to their home page (linked at the bottom), you'll see other fascinating experiments in tree art.

 

"Cameron Diaz Trial" gets a jury. The forgery case hinges upon whether the signature on Diaz's model release is real. She will testify that the signature is not hers. Obviously, the accused will claim that the signature does belong to Diaz. The outcome of the forgery charge is likely to hinge on scientific handwriting analysis.

 

This seems to be for real, not a satire: It's 'Homo Light' - the gay softdrink

  • "NORWEGIAN homosexuals are set to launch their own soda brand, "Homo light", at an upcoming gastronomic festival, in the hope that it will help promote tolerance, one of the authors of the project said ... Pear-flavored and pink, "Homo Light" will go on sale as a one-time offer at a stand at a gastronomic festival in the southwestern town of Stavanger between July 27 and 30.
 

The Daily Show: More on the Rove leak.
 

 

The Daily Show asks: "Why NOT cover the campaign trail in a gorilla suit? There just isn't a good answer to that question." A very good Jon Stewart interview with the author of Spanking the Donkey (linked below). I pulled a Victor Kiam - I enjoyed their discussion so much that I bought the book.

 

 

 

Scott McClellan vs the White House Reporters

 

The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert looks at the state of journalism - those years at the Hacienda de Journalismo finally pay off.

 

Conan O'Brien conducts a celebrity survey.

 

The trailer for Pulse

  • A website, which at first appears to be merely a scary hoax with an irresistible marketing ploy, turns out to be run by a sinister and deadly force. As people repeatedly tap into the site's frightening images of the dead, the supernatural force begins controlling their lives.
 

AMC chain vetoes 'dirtiest joke ever'

  • AMC Theatres, which will become the country's second-largest theater chain after its pending merger with Loews Cineplex, has decided not to exhibit "The Aristocrats," an upcoming unrated documentary about a particularly blue joke.


 

"Kurt Vonnegut has boarded the campaign to nominate TV's Judge Judy to the Supreme Court -- "

 

Borowitz: U.S. MAY NOT BE ABLE TO WAGE WAR AGAINST IRAQ AND GAY MARRIAGE AT THE SAME TIME ... War on Obesity Also in Jeopardy, White House Concedes

 

Red Sox's Bronson Arroyo Makes Debut Album (1990s cover songs)

 

Owen Wilson to reincarnate 'Walter Mitty' on big screen. The director will be Mark Waters, who did Mean Girls.

 

Headline may not say it all, but it certainly says quite a bit: NAKED MAN ARRESTED AFTER BEING TOLD BY THERAPIST TO SHOUT AT TREES. I can't help but think that his therapist should have been more specific.

 

The National Lampoon - more fun with "The Amazing Racist"

 

Important scientific finding of the day: Why imaginary voices are usually male.

 

How Pregnancy Happens - as explained by Peter Penis and Mrs. Vagina. This is not a parody, but an educational presentation from Planned Parenthood.

 

MovieJuice! reviews Fantastic Four - The Snoresome Foresome

 

Bobby Abreu Astounds in Home Run Derby

 

Winnipeg is the Slurpee capital of the world

 

south by southwest "click" finalists. Watch the short films and vote for the best, if you care to.

 

BBC pulls in with the headline of the day: Universe 'too queer' to grasp

 

The official website for The Seven Swords

  • " In the early 1600's, the Manchurians have taken over sovereignty of China and established the Ching Dynasty. While many nationalist revolts still brew within the martial artists' community, the newly set-up government immediately imposes a Martial Arts Ban, forbidding the practice of martial arts altogether in order to gain control and order. Wind Fire (Sun Hong-Lei), a surrendered military official from the previous dynasty, sees this as an opportunity to make a fortune for himself by helping to execute the new law. Greedy, cruel, and immoral, Wind Fire ravages the North-western China, and his next goal is to attack the final frontier, Martial Village. Fu Qingzhu, a retired executioner from the previous dynasty, feels the need to put a stop to this brutality and sets out to save Bowei Fortress. He brings Wu Yuanyin and Han Zhiban from the village with him to Mount Heaven to seek help from Master Shadow-Glow, a hermit who is a master of swords and leads a group of disciples of great swordsmanship. Master Shadow-Glow agrees to help, and orders four of his best disciples to go. Together with Chu Zhaonan, Yang Yunchong, Mulong, and Xin Longzi, the "Seven Swords" is formed and their heroic journey begins. As they lead the entire village to the road of a safer place, they begin to encounter mysterious confusion. Food and water is poisoned, and trails of escape are marked with signs leading the enemy to them. They soon realize that there is an undercover spy, and the "Seven Swords" must identify him/her before Wind Fire's army gets to them. Between this narrow gap of life and death, the situation is further complicated by the blossoms of love."
 

Vintage Movie Posters

 

Borowitz: BUSH SAYS HE IS NOT WORRIED BY BEING COMPARED TO ALFRED E. NEUMAN, Compares Sen. Clinton to Lucy from Peanuts.
 

Astro Pic o' the Day: Analemma of the Moon

 

"R-rated comedies, often box-office busts, are making a comeback, thanks to big DVD sales."

 

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

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