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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Junior is moving this week. He'll be back somewhere toward the end of the
Movies 'n' Stuff:
Storytelling (new to
DVD) is the alleged comedy from Todd Solondz. I've done this several times
before, so I played around with some color shifts and stuff. A couple were
successful, most were uninspired.
Piņero is the offbeat biopic
of the hip post-beatnik poet/playwright Miguel Piņero. It gave Benjamin Bratt a
chance to prove he is an actor, but the film itself, as Piņero might have said,
is a tale of sound and fury, signifying nada, daddy-o. It is on digital video,
and the quality is crap. Talisa Soto is a fox, but she is not naked, and the
film is shot on digital video - the quality is crap. (The hookers and strippers
Tuna reviewed The Harrad Experiment yesterday.
I added about a zillion or so words to his comments. You might say that I like
it quite a bit less than he did. I like it less than "Dude, Where's My Car". In
fact, I like it a little bit less than being entered into a eat-to-the-death
contest against Shaq.
Here from various sources, is the (female) nudity cut from the currently
available prints. In the original print, every single member of the "student"
cast, male and female, leads and extras, did frontal nudity. This was
consistent with the philosophy espoused by the film. Here are the lead women. I
didn't bother with the men because you're not likely to care, but there is
frontal nudity from Don Johnson, Bruno Kirby, Gregory Harrison, Eliot Street,
and many unknowns. There is also frontal nudity from many unidentified females
in the yoga scene and the swimming pool scene.
- Laurie Walters (1,
- Susan Taggart (1,
- Victoria Thompson (1,
Church objects to being ridiculed by South Park, but not for the reasons
you'd suspect! Seems like South Park got the wrong abuse! Get this: "The
scandal in the Church is not about priests having sex with prepubescent boys.
It is about priests having sex with postpubescent young men. The former is
called pedophilia and the latter is called homosexuality". The article reads
like a satire, but is a legitimate news item. It is their attempt to turn the
attack back on the attackers and claim that they are simply homophobic. That
is some weird shit.
David Hasselhoff acting strange at Betty Ford clinic - insists that
everyone call him "Mike". I'm not kidding.
Malasian censors ban new Kylie Minogue video. Man I wish I could be the
head of Malasia. I wouldn't ban Kylie, but I can think of a few other people
that need banning. How about Paul McCartney post-Beatles, for example? As new
Malasian dictator and Grand Poobah, I hereby ban the playing of "Silly Love
Songs". What's wrong with that? I need to know. 'Cuz here I go , a-a-gain ...
Here's Tonya from
Big Brother 3 in a bikini. Jumbo jacks.
"Hanks for the memories". Movie Juice does one of their funny reviews of
Road to Perdition
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
"The Big Bus"
The Big Bus (1976) is a spoof of airplane disaster movie spoofs. The good news?
A great cast including Joseph Bologna, Stockard Channing, Ned Beatty, Larry
Hagman, Lynn Redgrave and Sally Kellerman. The bad news? They tried to squeeze
every cliche and every lame joke from every disaster movie and spoof into 88
minutes. As often seems to be the case lately, the transfer on this grade Z
comedy is superlative. It is in focus, noise free, good contrast, and great
color range and saturation. It seems like transfer quality and film quality are
often reciprocally related. Thumbs Sally Kellerman
The story concerns the first nuclear powered super-bus, which is to make its
maiden trip non-stop from New York to Denver. When both drivers are injured,
they have to hire the once great driver who can no longer get work. Seems he
crashed a bus in the mountains, and is accused of having eaten all of the
passengers. Oil interests have hired someone to sabotage the bus.
The exposure comes from Sally Kellerman, who shows most of her breast from the
side. I am not sure if the nipple is visible or not, but it is a lot of breast
for a PG film. IMDB readers say 5.0 of 10. I suppose you could enjoy this film
if you were in the right mood or wasted enough, but it didn't have near the
comedic timing of Airplane and the like. C-.
Stranger Inside (2001 TV movie) is an HBO film written and directed by Cheryl
Dunye as a follow-up to her acclaimed Watermelon Woman. She wanted to tackle a
project about contemporary black women, and it struck her that many black women
were behind bars. She researched the material for this film visiting inmates,
and hired several ex-cons for smaller parts. This Liberian born director is only
36, and should have much more in store for us. The main story is that of
Treasure (Yolanda Ross), who turns 18 in juvenile detention, and is thrilled at
her transfer to the penitentiary, as her mother, whom she has never met, is
serving a life sentence there. She has clearly been in the prison system for a
long time, and knows the ins and outs of surviving on the inside.
All of the women are realistically portrayed. Most of them are not stunningly
beautiful, and most of them are not very nice. Brownie, Treasure's mother, is
one of the worst, and seems to be behind most of the drug sales and other black
market in the prison. Although this is a character driven story with a single
location and nobody to root for, I found it compelling, probably due to its
authenticity. It was shot in the no longer active Cybill Brand prison for women
It looked, in the opening credits, like it would be a WIP nudity-fest, as four
"new fish," including Yolanda Ross, Mary Mara and two unidentified women had
lengthy full-frontals while being processed in, but that was it for exposure.
Ross was excellent in the role, in what was her first feature length film. I
look forward to seeing more from her. Rain Phoenix turned in a strong
performance as a tough as nails prisoner. The film won several awards at gay
film festivals, partly because of portrayal of gay relationships inside. IMDB
has it at 5.9 of 10. IF this is your kind of film, by all means rent it. It is
not, however, light entertainment. The proper grade is C.
ThumbsMary Mara (1,
3)Yolanda Ross (1,
Savenkoff shaking her booty in the cable movie "Tricks" (1997)
starring Mimi Rogers and her body double.
Relic Hunter's Lindy Booth
shows her butt and boobs in the Canadian low-budget festival movie "Century
Maria Harper and Lisa Raines having some hot lesbo lovin' in the British sex
comedy "Fanny Hill" (1983). Full frontal nudity by Lisa as Fanny and excellent
topless by Maria Harper as her friend. Unfortunately the R-rated video version
available at your local Blockbuster has most of this scene cut. (1,2,3)
topless once again in an earlier British sex comedy "What's Up Superdoc!"
Scoop, All Lite Stuff today.
First Cindy Crawford in a bit of a wet shirt see
through in "Fair Game". (1
Then it's Mary Gavin in "Superchick". (1,
5, 6). Mary is really porn
legend Candy Samples known for those mammoth hooters.
The Disciples is a low-budget shocker of a film and
Tari Rose (1, 2) shows some
silicone-enhanced pokies. I aren't 100% of the identity as her character wasn't
named. However, with a bit of detective work on the internet, I found out Tari
is a Florida-based personal trainer and her credits include training the
'actresses' for the movie Striptease.
The caps (and more revealing caps) of Theresa Russell (1,
5) in Bad
Timing have appeared a number of times. Not so common are the topless
caps of Ellan Fartt who is a trapeze
artist. There are also some very dark caps of
Dana Gillespie. Again, I'm not 100%
sure of her identity as I didn't hear her character name mentioned.
With a name like Screwball Hotel you know
exactly what you're going to get, and you're not disappointed. There are lots of
half-dressed women and no plot. Until Brainscan's Friday contribution I didn't
know who the topless blonde was as she wasn't named - it's Andi Bruce.(1,
2) Other topless actresses are Laura
2), Laurah Guillen (1,
Patricia Hamilton and
Katerina Head. There are a few
others partially dressed: Lori
Deann Pallett, Renee Shugart,
Gianna Amore, Corinne Alphen (1,2)
and some unknowns (1,2)
You see some rear thong by Doria Anselmo
in Gone in Sixty Seconds, which is about how long
she was on-screen.
Hardly worth the effort, but Nina
Siemaszko does look seductive in Sleep Easy Hutch
Rimes. Some mild pokies by
Superstar is a lame movie meant to showcase
Molly Shannon's comedic talents. The
best she does is lift her dress. Some nice caps of
Elaine Hendrix as she stands around in her underwear.
Some pokies by Sondra Locke (1,
2) in Bronco
Some brief nipple shots of Anna Friel (1,
3) in the amusing
Mad Cows. She plays a nursing mother with nipple
soreness, which explains why she is stuffing frozen peas down her bra in the
first collage. She is arrested and the movie is about what happens next. There
is also a brief upskirt by Hermione
A rear view of Delphine Seyrig in
the thriller The Black Windmill.
Another thriller is The Night of the Following Day.
Pamela Franklin (1,
2) is a kidnap victim and she
ends up without her top.
Pure cheesecake by Stefanie Powers (1,
2) in the World War 2 drama
Escape to Athena. She plays a burlesque performer.
Cops and Robbersons. Cops and Robbersons is an
enjoyable Chevy Chase comedy. It's somebody's butt (and is that something extra
through the glass) but you can be sure it is not
Fay Masterson also looks nice.
Chandra West is topless but you only
see her from the back in Life in a Day.
Reach the Rock generated some nice caps, including
an upskirt and cleavage by Karen Sillas
and Brooke Langton (1,
The Replacements. Some of these have appeared
before and it is for those who like cheerleaders. No nudity, just a partial
see-through by an unknown and some upskirts (1,
4). Nice caps of
Caroline Keenan, Brooke Langton (1,
2) and Sarah Ann Morris (1,
||at the 2001 MTV Movie Awards
Natasha Gregson Wagner
||in Lost Highway
||Such a beautuful woman, but she never
got naked. Here she is in her underwear in the original version of The Bourne
Humor God Dave Barry postulates these 19 rules of life that took him 50 years to
under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not
achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you
to share yours with them.
5. When God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to
deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on
cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who
perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that
individual is crazy.
9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
10. Never lick a steak knife.
11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason
why we observe daylight savings time.
14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that
you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at
15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big
deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we
ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people
who are not in them.
18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
19. Your friends love you anyway.