Friday

Graphic Response
Linda Fiorentino Topless in "After Hours"
Margaret Whitton Full frontal 'caps from "Ironweed".
Mariel Hemingway
(
1, 2)
From 1982's "Personal Best"
and ...
Emma Sj÷berg I think we have our big winner for worst movie of the day! Now here is an introduction I never imagined I would ever make....Here is Emma Sjoberg and Dennis Rodman in their love scene from "Simon Sez"! Oh the humanity!
Wendie Malick A follow up look from a few days ago at Wendie's brief nude scene from "Divorce". Vidcaps by Aesthete, collage by FR.
Stefania Rocca More full frontal nudity from the movie "Viol@", by UC99.
Vanessa Angel Vanessa looking like she's straight off the cover of Victoria's Secret, in these 'caps from "The Covergirl Murders".
Krista Vendy
(
1, 2, 3, 4)
The first offering from a new contributor....Images and comments by Aunty Jack:
Krista plays a teacher in the Aussie soap opera Neighbours. There have been a lot of pics going around lately from her recent shoot in Black and White magazine but most people seemed to have missed a shoot she did for Ralph Magazine about a year ago when she first joined the cast.
#1 & 2 are from the B&W shoot, #3 and 4 are from Ralph.
Patricia Tallman Actress and stuntwoman from her first movie, George A Romero's "Knightriders".
Cathy Podewell
(
1, 2)
The rest of our variety are all vidcaps from 1987's "Night of the Demons".
#1 of Cathy has a couple of bare bottom shots, and #2 is Cathy in her bra.
Amelia Kinkade Fishnets and garter belts, but nothing really showing.
Jill Terashita I think this may be a first for the Fun House...vidcaps featuring sex in a coffin.
Linnea Quigley Last, but certainly not least...her Majesty, Scream Queen Linnea, in all her glory.
The Funnies
A Little Perspective

Pythagorean Theorem: 24 words
The Lord's Prayer: 66 words
Archimedes' Principle: 67 words
The Ten Commandments: 179 words
The Gettysburg Address: 286 words
The Declaration of Independence: 1.300 words
The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words

Redneck humor

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the Washington mandates to govern Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
The following are excerpts from the Y'all-bonics/English dictionary of Southern Culture from the University of Georgia.

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting. HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow.
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck an drove it back to Lanner."

BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements on its way to Lanner, Jawjuh."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See Arkansas native-Bill Clinton.
Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH- (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck before he gets back to Lanner."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh with a tar arn."

ARN - (noun), - A tool used for tight'nin' tar lug bolts.
Usage: "You have to change the tar with a tar arn."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place.
Usage: " Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed& must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen and Nitrogen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".
Usage: "I ain't seed Jim Bob in yurs."

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

YURS - (noun) - measure of time - 365 days; also, that which belongs to you.
Usage: "That youngun a yurs is two yurs oldn' mine."

 

The Scoop Gang

a

Stone Cold

Yo, Scoop. I'm hangin' in the city this summer by myself, because Lo want to go to the Canadian Rockies. I try to think it through, and I decide that the City is better. My chart:

Factor Canadian Rockies Streets of New York
Climate Freezin' motherfuckin' cold Shirtsleeves
Elevation Scary motherfuckin' high. No scary elevations unless you go in an elevator. Highest places are the Grand Concourse in the Bronx, and a high curb on the corner of 34th and 6th.
Wildlife Life-destroyin' wildcats and grizzly bears Nose-destroyin' winos and crack hos
Availability of junk food groups necessary to human life None High

So I'm out here alone, fendin' for myself in life. There's a lotta shit to know when you have to take care of yoself. Today I go to do the dishes and I see that my unopened box of SunLight has been improved with RinseAid. The open box ain't got no motherfuckin' RinseAid. Probably just cleaned and polished the dishes with lye and Armorall 'n shit. So do I take a chance on the rest of the old box, probably fuckin' up Lo's dishes, or do I throw the old mofo out and break out the RinseAid? See what I mean? The new one leave the dishes April-fresh. Do I want to take a chance on usin' the old one and letting my dishes stink up like some inferior smelly month, like October? Shit, women know this stuff instinctively through centuries of evolution in critical washday decisions, where only the ones with truly fresh dishes were able to attract a man, mate, and produce offspring, so nature weeded out the dishwater-disabled.

This she-it come from Celebrity Sleuth. His main theme this month is Time Bandits, and he got about 100 pictures of them little guys from that movie, and them lil crackas just as naked as shit with they lil johnsons just wavin' up a storm. No, wrong kinda Time Bandits. He got some former centerfold women and he show how they look today, years, decades, or even centuries after they posed for the Hutch. Here they are in chronological order.

Diane Hunter, November 1954. Back then, Hef didn't find his own staplesugars. "The first 19 were not discovered by Playboy. They bought one-time rights from the same calendar company that sold them the famous Marilyn Monroe shot. The magazine never paid her - or even made her aware of its publication". I suppose she 65 now, and she still haulin' out the guns for public viewin'. Dede Lind, August 1967. Dede show the world some time-honored fruit-eatin' techniques. Lorrie Menconi, February 1969. Helena Antonaccio, June 1969. The story say this the only time she ever shown her pubes. Rebekkah Armstrong, September 1986. (1, 2, 3) Carmen Berg, July 1987 Terri Welles, December 1989. Terri one of the more explicit ex-staplegirls. (1, 2) Suzi Simpson, January 1992. Nicole Wood, April 1993. (1, 2) Karin Taylor, June 1996

Some other Sleuth finds in the new issue: Angie Everhart in a transparent blouse. Eileen Daly, star of "Razor Blade Smile" (1, 2) Fereda Logghe. I know you thinkin' "whadda fuck?". Well, fereda is a sister who got some big guns. In fact, they so big that she holdin' a certificate that say he got the biggest mofo'n guns in the USA. And it not from shyster like Jerry Springer, but from the Guinness family, and they should know because keepin' track of records like that is they life. Well, not they whole life. Mostly, they life is gettin' fucked up and gettin' other people fucked up on Stout, so they riot and can't remember their names, and kick some ass in Sweden when they got a soccer team playin' there. (1, 2)

Myself, I don't know the difference between Stout and Lager and Pilsner and Ale and Malt Liquor and regular beer. Far as I know, it all the same shit. I think Stout a darker color, but maybe they got Stout Light or Pale Stout. And I think British guys put it in the microwave for a while before drinkin' it. But I do know that it fuck you up enough so that you want to issue a certificate to some AuntEstha-lookin' woman with a size "I" bra cup. Guns or no guns, this sista not likely to make me tear down my pictures of Jada and Halle.

"And God Created Woman" from Tuna

This may not have been a good week for mainstream releases with exposure, but the long-awaited Criterion release of Roger Vadim's "And God Created Woman" (1956) with Brigitte Bardot finally arrived. Criterion releases have ranged from very good (Walkabout) to awful (Salo). My hat is off to them for the digital transfer on this one. They even included a short before and after featurette to show what their digital noise correction was able to accomplish.

This was Roger Vadim's directorial debut in a film he wrote to showcase Ms. Bardot, and remained his favorite of his films up to his death in February of this year. The plot is not complex. Bardot is 19, and an orphan. She is living with an old couple who got her from the orphanage more or less as slave labor. Brigitte has a very healthy libido, a lust for life, and is as much a gold digger as you would expect from someone raised in an orphanage. As much as she is willing to use people, she adores animals. Note that Ms. Bardot has spent her retirement working for animal causes, which leads me to believe that she assisted in writing the script. She is in love with one man who thinks of her as an easy lay and a tramp, but marries his brother, who she has become good friends with, to avoid being sent back to the orphanage. She also has her hooks into the wealthiest man in the area. Not that she is a "bad girl" by todays standards, but her behavior was quite shocking in 1956. Eventually, she has sex with her brother-in-law, which nearly ruins the family. The plot would not have carried the film, were it not for Brigitte being on camera for nearly every frame. She brings such beauty, charisma and fire to the screen that I adored the film.

Bardot would have been enough to make this film for me, but Vadim chose Saint-Tropez, France for a location. It is amazingly picturesque, and Vadim did it justice. His use of CinemaScope produced incredible color, and the art direction and photography got color, framing and set direction perfect. This DVD is a jewel in my personal collection.

Image 1 shows what was an infamous side view of a nude Bardot from the side laying on her stomach. Probably PG today, this was scandalous in 1956. Image 2 shows her nude from the back, and 3 is a profile through a semi-transparent sail. Image 19 is the first seamless collage I have done in a while. The other images are teases, see-throughs and upskirts, with images chosen to showcase both the art direction and Ms. Bardot.

Thumbnails

Brigitte Bardot (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

"The Bedroom Window " from Tuna

The Bedroom Window (1987) is a homage to the classic Hitchcock thrillers. Unfortunately, Steve Guttenberg is no James Stewart, and Isabelle Huppert is more decorative than talented in this film, but it is engaging enough entertainment if you don't think too hard about it. A man (Guttenberg) is having an affair with his boss's wife (Huppert). She witnesses an attempt by a serial rapist/murderer on Elizabeth McGovern (who turned in the best performance in this film) through the bedroom window. She finally screams and scares the assailant off. She can't go to the police without alerting her husband to the affair, so she convinces Guttenberg to report it as if he had been the witness. When his near blindness without glasses comes out in court, the suspect is freed to start over, and Guttenberg becomes a suspect.

If you haven't seen it, it is worth the price of a rental. The exposure comes from Huppert in the opening scenes where she is in bed with Guttenberg than goes to the window nude.

Thumbnails

Isabelle Huppert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

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