Tuesday

Tuna
"Eyes Wide Shut"

Eyes Wide Shut (1999), is Stanley Kubrick's last, and some say is worst, film. The first two times I watched it, I was convinced that it was a misunderstood film, and much better than most gave it credit for. I have to say it did not bear a third viewing. Knowing the plot already, it was a colossal bore this time through. Yes, Leelee Sobieski was just as adorable in her short role, the nudity was great, and so was the lighting and photography. This was a case where European deliberate pacing really worked against the story. To become involved in the story, you have to accept that Cruise has his world shaken by his wife's confession that she once wanted an affair, and that he spins out of control through a smorgasbord of sexuality, where he learns more than he ever wanted to know about female sexuality. The Tom Cruise patented little boy persona was correct for the film, but with the slow pacing, it was hard to believe he was caught up in anything.

I also made the effort to ignore Nicole Kidman's body this time, and watch her performance. When she was straight, there was no problem, but she has one lengthy scene drunk on champagne and another stoned on grass, and she portrayed both exactly the same. I enjoyed the performance by Rade Sherbedgia as Milich, Leelee's father, and Sydney Pollack was also very good, but little boy Cruise was in nearly every scene.

Kidman shows breasts and buns several times, and pokes through her nightclothes the rest of the time. Julienne Davis shows everything ODing at the opening party, at the orgy, and in the morgue. An unknown shows breasts as a patient, and dozens of women show everything at the orgy scene, including some very energetic sex. It is to Kubrick's credit that we never know for sure what the aftermath of what Cruise witnessed was, and also that he returned to having his Eyes Wide Shut at the end, still unable to face what he had seen.

IMDb currently has this at 7.0 of 10. With men more than a full point higher than women. I watched the Japanese Region 2 uncensored version, which is, to my mind, a much better version. As you may recall, the MPAA was bothered by the fact that the women in the orgy scene were moving energetically, and digital figures were added in the US release to mask them out. This is a C+. If it interests you, I am sure you have seen it. It will be interesting to see if people remember it in 10 years.

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  • Julienne Davis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
  • Leelee Sobieski (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Nicole Kidman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)
  • Orgy scene (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)
  • Patient (1, 2)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    OTHER CRAP:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    From last year's multi-Oscar nominated movie, "Cold Mountain".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    First things first...

    Paparazzi pics of Lindsay Lohan and PJ Harvey. Seems PJ WAS wearing knickers, just the kind you can see through.


    Next up...a little late, but here are some avi's I promised. Thought I'd send you stuff from "The Mummy's Kiss", most of which are outtakes. The erstaz-lesbo scene between Ava Lake (Mia Zottoli) and Sasha Peralto was pretty lame as presented in the movie but in the outtakes it was much more interesting. Ava-Mia also looks good in the pool and Nicolette Lupian is an attractive dancing topless dancing girl. All the clips are DivX avi's.

    • Ava Lake (aka Mia Zottoli) (1, 2)


    Here are 3 clips of former Heffer Katie Lohmann (April 2001). Gal sure loves showing off her man-mades. Link #3 is from the outtakes. The full version of it runs for three minutes and eats up 32 mBytes after compression (not to worry, this is only 4 meg version)

    • Katie Lohmann (1, 2, 3)


    This is Nicolette Lupian (brunette) and Joleen Thornten (redhead) in a small part of a topless dancing scene that was cut from the movie. This scene goes on for more than five minutes.


    Two of Sasha Peralto. One from the movie, showing her top being lifted up, and the second from the outtakes, showing her top won't stay up.

    • Sasha Peralto (1, 2)

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    One more day at the Ghost's Skinemax Summer Camp.

    Today it's Jennifer Burton and Ashlie Rhey in scenes from "Play Time" (1994).

    Burton shows all 3 B's in a variety of scenes. When the two get together, there is some mild lesbo lovin' with breasts and partial bum views.


    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Knight Club"
    When I first heard about this movie, I wondered "can a movie about bouncers be any good?". The short answer in this case is: no.

    An aspiring actor takes a job as a bouncer, tutored by the head of the firm that supplies bouncers and doormen to top L.A. clubs. He becomes seduced by the power, glamour, and women, that the job carries with it. Women literally throw themselves at him in an effort to get into tough-ticket joints.

    Since the story is fairly unique, this 2001 movie could have been a good one, and in fact, it does have some interesting parts. Unfortunately, bad acting and a poor script got in the way of what could have been an interesting plot.

    Variety
    Gena Lee Nolin
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    A few more 'caps of the former "Baywatch" babe baring all and gettin' it on in scenes from her "leaked to the internet home video". Links 2 and 3 show some close up gyno and back door views that I don't think we've posted before.

    Melody Johnson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Playing 'Stripper #1' in scenes from her one and only IMDb credit, "Midnight Kiss" aka "In the Midnight Hour" (1993). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    STONE TO DO "BASIC INSTINCT 2"
    This Time, She Just Forgets To Wear Panties - Sharon Stone has dropped her lawsuit against the makers of "Basic Instinct," whom she accused of costing her millions by turning down other offers while waiting 12 years to make a sequel. Stone hinted that the sequel was at last about to happen, only with a younger leading man than Michael Douglas. And as for appearing nude again at 46, Stone said, "Does anybody want to pay $12 to see me naked? I'm like, 'I guess it's okay.'"

  • Depending on how she looks naked, there's always bargain matinees, dollar theaters, and the 89-cent special at Blockbuster.
  • If she waits another 12 years, people will pay $12 not to see her naked.
  • Her new leading man: Ashton Kutcher.
  • Michael Douglas can't be her leading man again: she's MUCH too old for him now.


    CAMMIE'S S&M VIDEO SURFACES
    Brand Spanking New Scandal - A bizarre twist popped up in Cameron Diaz's claim that a photographer who offered to sell back his old topless photos of her had blackmailed her and taken advantage of her youthful innocence. A soft core S&M video surfaced on the Internet that allegedly stars Diaz at 19, posing topless in leather and fishnets and spanking a man in a leather loincloth. At one point, she sprays her nipples with a can of compressed air and giggles, "Whoa! Look at them! Look how big they got!" It's one of a number of videos the same photographer made. The furious Diaz got her lawyers to file an injunction halting the sale of it on the Internet.

  • Well, THAT should keep it from circulating any further!
  • When she heard it was on the Internet, she yelled, "Take it off! Take it off!"...Not the first time she's yelled that.
  • She wants to give that photographer SUCH a spanking!
  • She can't be embarrassed by this: she did "Charlie's Angels," and it's pretty much the same thing.


    BRITNEY'S MARITAL MESSES REVEALED
    Fun While It Lasted - Britney Spears' husband of 55 hours, childhood sweetheart Jason Alexander, gave an interview to the UK tabloid News of the World in which he described their sex-drenched weekend in graphic detail. He said he believed they'd stay married, and was stunned when her family swooped in, told him he was ruining her career, made him sign an annulment form, and gave him an economy class plane ticket home to Louisiana.

  • On the bright side, up to that point, he'd been enjoying a first class ride.
  • This is the problem with so many newlyweds: in-laws.
  • Like Britney needs HIS help to ruin her career!


    A Fool And Her Honey - Britney's mom is also rumored to be livid that Britney is refusing to make her new fiance, dancer Kevin Federline, sign a prenup. She says this marriage is about love, not money. She's known him only three months, he's so broke she had to buy her own ring, and she has $100 million.

  • At least when they get divorced, she'll get to keep the ring.
  • Besides, if she made him sign a prenup, he might not marry her.
  • But this marriage will last forever...Like, 75 hours.
  • She's competing with Jessica Simpson for the title of "Dumbest Blond Pop Singer."