Saturday

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

2008

Harold and Kumar's second stoner adventure gets them incarcerated at Gitmo after they carry a bong on a plane and people mistake it for a bomb. They break free immediately, so the film is not really about Gitmo at all. The real plot is about their trek to Texas to disrupt the wedding of Kumar's ex-girlfriend. During the trip they encounter various comic adventures while Homeland Security follows their trail.

This flick has quite a high rating at IMDb, which is surprising for a stoner film, but I found it of only moderate appeal, despite the fact that I like stoner humor.

If you think about the great lowbrow comedies like There's Something About Mary and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, you will realize that they have certain things in common:

  • an involving story which could stand on its own without the surrounding farce
  • memorable comic characters
  • some laugh-out-loud moments
  • originality in the raunchiness
  • heart
  • art

This film comes up short on too many of those requirements.  There are no big guffaws, the story is completely uninvolving, and the sentimental moments are totally forced. In fact, it wouldn't even be fun to watch stoned, because Harold spends more than half of the movie being a wet blanket, grousing about Kumar's irresponsibility and inability to apologize. What the hell kind of stoner is this guy? Dude, chill out. Kumar's a stoner. Of course he's irresponsible. It's Harold the uptight stoner who doesn't seem to fit in the picture! He's the kind of guy who wants to get baked so he can dust the furniture and study the tax tables.

The greatest weakness of the film is that it simply lacks originality. Most of the humor consists of the same old tired jokes about the same old subjects: unpleasant bodily functions, petty government bureaucrats, prison rape, inbred rednecks, tough-looking guys who turn out to be sensitive, and so forth. The most interesting ideas were already covered in the first H&K movie.

The one very positive thing in the film is a memorable comic character: Neil Patrick Harris, who plays himself in this sequel, as he did in the original, and is even crazier this time around. Harris-as-Harris, wacked-out druggie and pervert with a monumental ego, is absolutely brilliant every minute he is on screen. The people who created this film should have made Harris the star, because he's the Hamlet of stoners, madness and all, while Harold and Kumar are merely the Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern. Unfortunately, they gave Hamlet a walk-on.

The other thing the film has is a monumental amount of nudity, male and female. I suppose there may be 100 beautiful, firm young women who are completely naked below the waist at a "bottomless party" crashed by the two stars. Unfortunately, the buns and bushes are all supplied by anonymous extras. There are also two topless hookers in a bordello scene and I think that they might be identifiable because they both had small speaking roles, but I couldn't figure out an ID from the credits.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Really Hate My Job

(2007)

I Really Hate My Job is an ensemble comedy about the frustrated women who work in a dinner restaurant. Neve Campbell's waitress character has just turned 30, and finds herself with no boyfriend and a failed acting career. The dishwasher wants to return to South America to be with her newly paroled true love. The manager is completely frustrated by the way her staff treats her. The regular cook has been seriously burned in the kitchen (like most of their food). The fill-in cook is a waitress who finally finished her novel, only to have it rejected by a publisher.

Think of it as the special Olympics of self-loathing.

While this was clearly intended as a comedy, all of the characters are simply too pathetic to be funny and the big comic pay-off is a rat infestation in the swanky restaurant - which, let's face it, is only good for so many chuckles. In essence, the film actually consists entirely of a bunch of women whining for 90 minutes.

Not my idea of entertainment.

IMDb readers say 5.5. That, in my opinion, is overly generous.

 

Neve Campbell, for no obvious reason, strips and addresses all of the diners. They are so impressed with her boobs and buns that they stage a mass exit.
 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Blind Side

1993

Today we have a decent HBO thriller. Rutger Hauer was right on as the villain, and the star is Rebecca De Mornay, who is one of my personal favorites, and just oh so sexy IMHO.


No real nudity from Rebecca here, but she is just so easy on the eyes. Caps and seven clips.

 

Tamara Clatterbuck provides the only nudity in a topless scene with Rutger. Caps and a clip.

 

Mariska Hargitay has a brief consensual "Babe in Bondage" scene with Rutger. No nudity, but she does have a new bra. Caps and a clip.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Doc Hollywood

1991

Julie Warner

 

 

 

 

 


Bernard and Doris



There might be a brief bit of Susan Sarandon's nipple showing in Bernard and Doris (2007)

 


Bobby


No nudity in Bobby (2006), a story about the last days of Bobby Kennedy.

Heather Graham is one of his conquests and is in her underwear.

There is also an upskirt by Helen Hunt.


 

 


Frank McKlusky, C.I.

 

No nudity in Frank McKlusky, C.I. (2002) but plenty of cleavage by Joanie Laurer

and Cameron Richardson.


 



Distant Shores



Distant Shores (2005) is a TV miniseries. Connie Hyde is in her underwear.

 



My Bloody Valentine

 


Another woman in her underwear was Pat Hemingway in My Bloody Valentine (1981), just before her demise.


 

 


Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her



There is a brief nip slip by Holly Hunter in Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her (2000)

and Valeria Golino shows pokies.



 


Woman on Top



The main nudity in Woman on Top (2000) is by Marilice Santos.

Penelope Cruz is naked but hides the goodies, although it is obvious she is wearing a crotch patch.



 


Lola: The Movie



Some nice nudity in the Spanish movie Lola: The Movie aka Lola, la película (2007) by Gala Évora.



 


My Jealous Barber



My Jealous Barber aka Min misunnelige frisør (2004) is a Norwegian movie. Hildegun Riise is topless.



 

 

"The Erotic Traveler"

episode: Self Portrait


An episode called Self Portrait from The Erotic Traveler (2007), which is a softcore series.

Kaylani Lei

 

Katie Morgan

 

and Divini Rae are all naked.



 


"Charlie's Angels"

Series 2 Part 1



Episode 1 - Angels in Paradise Part 1


Jaclyn Smith

Cheryl Ladd

France Nguyen

and Lydia Lei all look very good.




Episode 2 - Angels in Paradise Part 2


Jaclyn Smith

and Cheryl Ladd fill out bikinis very well.




Episode 3 - Angels on Ice Part 1


Jaclyn Smith - minor pokies


Cheryl Ladd - looking good




Episode 4 - Angels on Ice Part 2


Jaclyn Smith - lovely harem outfit

 

Cheryl Ladd - looking good




Episode 5 - Pretty Angels All In Row

Jaclyn Smith - Looking good

Cheryl Ladd - looking good

Others - a variety of beauty contest contestants






Episode 7 - Circus of Terror


Cheryl Ladd - looking good




Episode 8 - Angel In Love


Cheryl Ladd

and Jaclyn Smith - looking good




Episode 9 - Unidentified Flying Angels

Cheryl Ladd

and Jaclyn Smith - looking good




Episode 12 - Angels in the Wings


Cheryl Ladd - lifting her legs whilst dancing


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exit to Eden

1994

Part 4 (Conclusion)

Tanya Reid

unknown

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

DragonScan needed a rest, so he only did one collage today. A good one.

Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive

 

Film Clips