"The Bloodsucker Leads the
Dance" from Tuna
The Bloodsucker Leads
the Dance has no Bloodsuckers and no dancing.
What it does have is a lot of naked actresses
that I can't identify. Perhaps someone can help
with the id. A count invites several actresses to
his mansion. They all have sex with each other,
then they lose their heads. The pace is
excruciatingly slow, the plot is thin, the acting
is terrible. About all this has going for it is
naked actresses and good DVD transfer quality.
Tuna reminded me that my
list of good singer-actor crossovers should also
include Michelle Pfeiffer.
About My Mother"
Here is the composition
of the world of Pedro Almodovar:
- Transvestites: 14%
- Transsexuals: 13%
- Pregnant nuns: 11%
- Children of nuns
who, up until recently, were pregnant: 9%
- Actors and
actresses and writers who create stories
about the gender-troubled characters: 7%
- Antonio Banderas: 11%
- Children whose
father has better tits than their mother: 30%
Now before you rent an
Almodovar film, get your mind adjusted to that
world, and don't go kvetching when it appears
before you, because you know what to expect.
I get the point of the film - that the
appearances of these offbeat characters, and
their atypical situations don't change the fact
that they are essentially the same people we are,
except that they have to struggle harder to get
there, and far harder still to be accepted once
they arrive. That produces some good moments of
intense drama, and Almodovar balances the intense
drama with a truly offbeat and dark sense of
humor, which helps to make the stories watchable.
I understand the stories, and they're OK, but I
just don't "feel" them at a level that
makes me want to praise this film as genius.
Some things I did enjoy
about this film:
- Excellent performances from the
- Technically solid, even lustrous.
choice of locales, mainly the city of Barcelona,
predominantly in architecture created by or
influenced by Antonio Gaudi.
If you are not
familiar with Senor Gaudi, he is a turn of the
century architect who rejected traditional
architectual concepts in the same way that modern
painters rejected traditionalism. He rejected not
only the established concepts of beauty, and also
the familiar geometry of building design. This is
inherently bold and daring for an architect. Much
more risky than for a painter, for example. I mean, if you're a
painter and you reject classical allegories and
traditional human figures, it's not like your
painting is going to collapse on somebody's
grandmother or suck small pets down the toilet.
The worst that can happen is that people don't
like it and/or don't understand it, and you will
feel like you wasted a couple months and a couple
hundred dollars worth of paint. But when you're
an architect and you reject traditional forms,
there's always the outside chance that your whole
damned building will fall down on top of the
Pope, or that nobody will rent your apartments
and you will lose the years you invested in
creating it. Worse still, the guys who invested
in the apartment building will lose every cent,
and may be named Vito, and may retain some of
their colleagues to send you to a resort where
you will be encouraged to take swimming lessons
with Luca Brasi. So you have to give
Gaudi a big tip of the hat for creating designs
which are not only unique and daring, but
functional as well. Regular people actually live
in buildings that he designed, and the entire
modern city bears a distinct flavor that he
created. And if you can't afford a ticket to
Barcelona, this movie is an inexpensive
This page will give you a quick
look at some of Gaudi's creations. It isn't comprehensive, but
you'll get the idea.
This is Antonia San
Juan. She plays a transsexual, or a partial
transsexual, since he/she still has the ol' sweet
potato, but also has breasts and wears women's
clothing. That's the character I'm talking about.
As for the actor or actress Antonia San Juan,
your guess is as good as mine.
Antonia san Juan And this is just some random
(1975), from Johnny Web
You think I'm going to
review this, you're nuts. Everyone on the planet
knows about it, even in the darkest corners of
the globe. The frigging Masai act the story out
over campfires, although they really have to
stoop over to act the part of Richard Dreyfuss.
And the Lapps re-made it with a very large killer
reindeer named Bruce.
Y'know it looks a little
cheesy in the light of the 25 years that have
passed. Special effects are a lot better now, and
the acting wasn't exceptionally good in this
movie. But it's still horrifying when it cuts to
This is Susan Backlinie,
the skinny dipper who gets chomped in the opening
And this is Susan Blackline who, I am told, is the same
Bo Derek at 43, in the new issue
of Vanity Fair, as photographed by Herb Ritts.
WOW. Lil Kim, also from Vanity Fair.
In addition to the
pictures that go with these daily member's
bonuses every day, the subscription area now has
two years' worth of back issues of the Fun House,
plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun
House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics.
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