Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


  • There are 262 new pictures added to existing volumes in sections H, I, J, K, and L of the encyclopedia. Updated volumes are highlighted in yellow
  • There are 26 new volumes in Section R of the encyclopedia


The Lonely Lady (1983):

Coupled with yesterday's coverage of Butterfly, it's a Pia Zadora double feature, just to bring back, if only for a moment, the 1980s magic of Zadoramania.

This one requires silly pictures, so read the review here.

Here's Pia. This is not available on DVD, so I did what I could with a VHS tape.

Pia Zadora


My Tutor (1983):

My VHS tape of The Lonely Lady is the original issue from 1983 or 1984, and another 1983 film, My Tutor, is trailered on the tape.

Normally this would be of minimal interest, but this trailer is filled with nudity and, most important, it includes some Caren Kaye nudity which never made it into the actual film.

Here is a capture of the missing nudity.

  • Here is the entire trailer in .vob format. It's very big - 28 meg, and two and a half minutes long. If you don't know what that is, it is a DVD file. I converted the VHS tape to DVD before working with it. If you have WinDVD or PowerDVD, or any other pure software DVD application, you can just click on the file and it will start playing. If you can't play DVDs on your computer, don't bother downloading it. If you can play it, I recommend it, despite the file size. The quality is shit, but it has the extra nude scene and is also a rare treasure of bad acting, sleazy narration, and gratuitous nudity.

  • Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Finally, here are the last 'caps of the Mystique Lingerie disk.

    Some of the names and faces (and other things) you will recognize. Some are probably new. Among the latter is Lisa Gleave, who I'd never seen before but who has a strikingly beautiful face. Too bad about the robo-hooters.

    Probably the most famous of these is Linda O'Neill, since she has done a B movie or two. And then there is Sandee Westgate, of internet fame, who it seems has graduated to doing other girls in adult least that is what a quick Googling of her name suggests.

    So, at long last, I can finally work on something else.

    Katia Courriveau

    Linda O'Neil

    Lisa Gleave

    Roxanne Galla

    Sandee Westgate

    Susie Tran

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Over the last 2 days we featured gals with really big boobs (Lynda Wiesmeier & Glori-Anne Gilbert). So the question is, 'Can we top those two?"

    I think we just might have done it with today's Hankster Light!

    To accomplish our goal, we had to take the old Time Machine back to 1969 and spend a little time with Argentina's biggest sex symbol, Isabel Sarli in a flick called "Fuego".

    Isabel was Miss Argentina of 1955 and was put in films by actor/director/real life lover Armando Bo. She went on to make 27 movies with Bo, and he was often referred to as the Russ Meyer of Argentina.

    Anyway here is Isabel in all her glory showing off her cleavage and then bared breasts to anyone and everyone in the movie.

    Does she top the other two previously mentioned ladies? You decide.

    Isabel Sarli in "Fuego".

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion"
    Plenty of cleavage in Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997) by Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow.

    Mira Sorvino

    Lisa Kudrow

    More of Mira Sorvino in Mimic (1997). No nudity just a bit of cleavage.

    Mira Sorvino

    "Paper Soldiers"
    Plenty of cleavage by Stacey Dash in Paper Soldiers (2002). The topless nudity, with a brief flash of bush, comes from Laurie Ann Wallace, Suzi McCoppin, Glemmy Espinal, Feather Frazier and an unknown.

    Stacey Dash

    Laurie Ann Wallace, Suzi McCoppin, Glemmy Espinal, Feather Frazier and an unknown.

    Meg Tilly is supposed to be topless in a photograph in Impulse (1984) but I can't be sure. Otherwise, it's just cleavage.

    Meg Tilly

    "D. O. A."
    We see a topless Meg Ryan in D. O. A. (1988) but it's only brief and from the back.

    Meg Ryan

    "French Kiss"
    More of Meg Ryan in French Kiss (1995) where we see some pokies. We also have a nice looking, bikini-clad Susan Anbeh.

    Meg Ryan

    Susan Anbeh

    "Diagnosis Murder"
    In the IMDB Morgan Fairchild is quoted as saying 'They're not paying me to play a charwoman. They're paying me to show up looking glam and, damn it, I'm gonna show up looking glam!' This sums up her appearance in an episode of Diagnosis Murder called My Four Husbands (1993). Very sexy.

    Morgan Fairchild

    "Violet Perfume - Nobody Hears You"
    From Mexico we have Violet Perfume - Nobody Hears You (2001). Ximena Ayala is topless in the bath and Arcelia Ramírez shows a bit of cleavage.

    Ximena Ayala

    Arcelia Ramirez

    "Lancelot of the Lake"
    Laura Duke Condominas is naked in the French film Lancelot of the Lake (aka Lencelot du Lac) (1974) and we see the view from behind.

    Laura Duke Condominas

    "Point of Origin"
    It's pokies and underwear in Point of Origin (2002) by Illeana Douglas, Nora Zehetner and Bai Ling. There's also the briefest of see-though of Illeana's nipple.

    Illeana Douglas

    Nora Zehetner

    Bai Ling

    There's some topless views of Alaina Kalanj and an unknown in Pendulum (2001). Scarlett McAlister and Stephanie Vogt are in their underwear.

    Alaina Kalanj

    Scarlett McAlister

    Stephanie Vogt


    Kitt 'caps of former Pet turned B-babe Monique Gabrielle. Here she is in one of the best tongue in cheek, ultra-campy movies, "Deathstalker II" (1987).

    Click here for Scoop's review of this no-budget masterpiece.

    Behold her Alba-liciousness!

    Here is "Fantastic 4" babe Jessica Alba looking amazing while stopping by "The Tonight Show". 'Caps by DeadLamb

    Mr. Nude Celeb takes us back a few years for a look at the 1979, Blake Edwards movie "10".

    Bo Derek showed off her bum and gave up some brief breast views.

    Constance Money showed toplessness and full frontal nudity.

    Here is pop star Jessica Simpson looking pretty friggin' hot while showing plenty of cleavage and also in bikini scenes from the upcoming big screen version of "The Dukes of Hazzard".

    Look for it in theaters on August 5th.

    The Skin-man takes a look at the 1992, direct-to-vid, Christopher Lambert flick, "Knight Moves".

    I haven't seen this movie in over 10 years, but if memory serves, it wasn't terrible nor was it special. On the plus side, Diane Lane and Kelly Burns (aka Kehli O'Byrne) both went topless!

    Tuna's condition is stable. Nothing new to report. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

    Movie Reviews


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Other Crap
    "Oh, sorry Paris, I didn't recognise you without a cock in your mouth."


    The trailer for Shopgirl

    • "Based on Steve Martin's bestselling novella, Shopgirl, is a funny and poignant story of love in the modern age. The film catches a glimpse inside the lives of three very different people on diverse paths, but all in search of the same thing. Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a 'plain Jane' overseeing the rarely frequented glove counter at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. An artist struggling to keep up with even the minimum payment on her credit card and student loans, she keeps to herself until a rich, handsome fifty something named Ray Porter sweeps her off her feet. Simultaneously, Mirabelle is being pursued by Jeremy, a basic bachelor who's not quite as cultured and successful as Ray. When fate steps in, the outcome may not always be a storybook ending, because in the end - it was life."

    It appears that you can have Elisha Cuthbert come to your Vegas Hotel Room for $47. (This is an actual handbill distributed by hand in Las Vegas)


    The week they returned to the theaters. The movie industry finds an unlikely savior.

    • Preliminary estimates show that the largely illusory slump is over. Led by Fantastic Four, the top twelve films grossed $141 million, compared to $138 million in the post-4th weekend last year, and $136 million the year before.
    • This year's #1 (Fantastic Four) beat last year's #1 (Spidey 2). This year's #2 (War of the Worlds) beat last year's #2 (Anchorman). This year's two new films scored a short-handed goal against last year's three new films, $66m to $48m.
    • Despite a fecalpile of scathing reviews, Fantastic Four exceeded expectations by more than a third
    • Seven of the eight top holdover films did better than expected.
    • There were only two disappointments, both reflecting the fact that people are not in a mood for dark-toned movies at the moment. War of the Worlds dropped 52% from last weekend to finish below expectations, and the new Jennifer Connolly scarefest finished substantially below the Weekend Warrior's prediction. (Of course, that could be the result of an excessively optimistic prediction rather than underperformance from the film itself. Predicting the numbers for a film's first week is a very difficult task.)
    • Just off the top twelve list, that G-rated penguin film totally kicked ass, grossing more in 64 theaters than Shark Boy grossed in 1000!!! The penguin movie had about the same average per screen as Fantastic Four.



    A Daily Show classic: President George Bush debates against Governor George Bush


    The trailer for Junebug

    • A dealer in "outsider" art travels from Chicago to North Carolina to meet her new in-laws, challenging the equilibrium of their middle class Southern home. On a road trip to close a deal with a reclusive North Carolina artist, George finally resolves to introduce his urbane Yankee wife Madeleine (Embeth Davidtz) to his Southern family: prickly mother Peg (Celia Weston); taciturn father Eugene (Scott Wilson); cranky brother Johnny (Ben McKenzie), who has always suffered in the shadow of golden boy George; and Johnny's very pregnant, childlike wife Ashley (Amy Adams), who is instantly awestruck by her Yankee sister-in-law.

    The trailer for Undiscovered

    • "Set in the world of up-and-coming artists, 'Undiscovered' is a heartfelt and comic film that tells the story of an aspiring model who falls in love with a struggling musician when they suddenly cross paths on a NY subway train. Having achieved success as a NY model, Brier (Pell James) decides to move to L.A. to launch an acting career. With the support of her acerbic agent and sometimes surrogate mom, Carrie (Carrie Fisher), Brier lands a spot in a highly sought after acting class where she befriends another would-be actress, Clea (Ashlee Simpson). While out on the town discovering the music scene, Brier again crosses paths with Luke (Steven Strait), a singer/songwriter who has been toiling for years without a record deal. Brier and Clea decide to help Luke and unbeknownst to him, they set out to create some L.A. style hype to get him noticed. As Luke's profile rises, so do the demands of his budding new career. When Luke and Brier can't hide the spark that was always there, they both discover that the price of fame may be higher than anyone expected."


    "NASA NO LONGER REMEMBERS WHY IT LAUNCHED SPACE PROBE" ... Purpose of Decade-old Space Mission Eludes Scientists



    Astro Pic o' the Day In the Center of the Trapezium, within Orion's Great Belt.



    Lara Flynn Boyle will return to series television when she joins the cast of the NBC drama 'Las Vegas' this fall.



    "BRITAIN and America are secretly preparing to withdraw most of their troops from Iraq - despite warnings of the grave consequences for the region, the SUNDAY MAIL in UK is reporting."



    This is actually a quote from the National Weather Service: "Hurricane DENNIS DEEPENING AT A RATE THAT BORDERED ON INSANE." I sure don't like the sound of that.


    Google Maps gets even more sophisticated with Google Earth in 3D.


    FilmJerk's indispensable Early Report for July 9



    Strippers arrested for spanking a truck driver on his birthday



    "Nike is using photos of Kobe Bryant for the first time since his arrest two years ago for an alleged assault on a female employee at a Colorado resort"


    "Jackie Chan says the third installment of 'Rush Hour' is stuck in neutral because co-star Chris Tucker is making too many demands."



    BBC comedy show to debut online


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

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