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Thursday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Junior is moving this week. He'll be back somewhere toward the end of the
weekend. It's 7-11, so don't forget your free Slurpees today at 7-Eleven. Remember they hate
it if you offer Ganesha a peanut.
Updates:
The entire wrestling volume is updated - all new format, thumbnails for
every picture, about 450 additions. A massive undertaking. It is also now
included in the search engine, and should pick the girls up by any of their
known aliases.
Other crap:
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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| Tuna
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"Crazy Mama"
Crazy Mama (1975) is a corn-ball Roger Corman drive in film that has an unlikely
bunch of characters traveling in convoy from Long Beach, California to their
original home in Jerusalem, Arkansas, and robbing targets of opportunity along
the way. It would be just another depression era gangster film, except that it
is set in the late 50's, which at least provided a great sound track and a
nostalgic bunch of cars. Also, two of the characters, a surfer boyfriend of
Linda Purl, and a biker replete with leathers and a DA (that's duck's ass, a
haircut, for those not familiar wit the era) where classics for the time.
Other than that, it was a collection of corn-ball lines, chases, and bungled
robberies, and had no believable characters. I enjoyed the look and the sounds,
but the plot left me cold. Cloris leachman shows breasts through a plastic
apron, and Purl as her daughter shows breasts and buns when the two boyfriends
open the bathroom door. This film is a typical genre effort, so is a C.
Thumbs Cloris Leachman
(1,
2,
3,
4)Linda Purl (1,
2, 3,
4,
5)
"Segunda Piel'"
Segunda Piel (1999), or Second Skin, stars my favorite Spanish actress, Ariadna
Gil, as one third of a love triangle. Her sex life has become infrequent and
unsatisfying, and she suspects husband Jordi Mollà of having an affair. This is
confirmed when she picks up his dry cleaning, and finds a hotel receipt in the
pocket. She would never suspect that his lover was a man, Javier Bardem. Bardem
is a prominent orthopedic surgeon, and has hopes of a lasting relationship with
Mollà. Mollà, who is some sort of aeronautical engineer, is torn between his
wife and son and public acceptance on one hand, and the man he loves on the
other. Bardem is honest with himself, and openly caring, while Mollà is deep in
the closet, where we find he has been most of his life.
The homosexual sex scenes are rather explicit, which is somewhat unusual, but
they also display the kind of raw passion that is the secret sauce in the
hottest heterosexual sex scenes in films. There is no doubt that these two men
are into each other. Gil is naked twice, first, we see a breast and her buns
when she has sex with a coworker wile separated from her husband, and then shows
breasts and bush in a lengthy sex scene with Mollà. Her portrayal was very
strong, as she grapples with the myriad of emotions and self-doubt.
Critics are split on this (50/50 at Rotten Tomatoes), with the detractors
calling it soap opera fare. IMDB readers say 5.6 of 10. For me, it was an erotic
treatment of a rather controversial theme, and was very well done. I felt like I
understood all of the main characters, and could actually sympathize with each
of them. Cross-over appeal is more than likely limited by the graphic homosexual
sex scenes, so the proper score is C.
Thumbs (1,
2)
Ariadna Gil
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8, 9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16)
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| Graphic Response
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Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
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Aesthete
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This is tremendous. Madchen Mmick's nude scenes in Dream Lover make it one of
our top ten "most wanted on DVD" films for nudity. These are very close to DVD
quality, and far better than any other caps I've seen from this film.
- Thumbs (1,
2, 3)
- Madchen Amick
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
16,
17,
18,
19,
20,
21,
22,
23,
24,
25,
26,
27)
Aesthete also did a bunch of (digitally censored) caps from the immortal TV
classic "Dog eat Dog"
- Thumbs
- Dog eater (6,
7, 8,
9, 10,
11, 13,
14,
15, 16,
17, 18,
19, 20)
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| Hankster
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Scoop, Today a trip back in the time machine to
1973 and Joyce Jillson in "Superchick", kind of a fun film as Joyce plays a
plain Jane stewardess who transforms to a swinging superchick on the ground,
hop-scotching from one man to another.
- Joyce Jillson
(1,
2,
3,
4, 5,
6,
7)
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| Variety
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Denise Richards |
The up-and-coming Shakespearian shows off a couplet on Spin
City
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| Milla Jovovich (1,2,3,4) |
In Resident Evil, from "Kayman" - and they say no man is an
island. Along with Kayman, other men who are islands include past and present
Cleveland Indians Ellis Burks and Luke Easter. Some women are islands as well,
including actress Catalina Larranaga and model Kathy Ireland.
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| Pat
Reeder's Comedy-Wire
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Pat's words in yellow
MADONNA DEMANDS TO PLAY LESBIAN
The Spy Who Didn't Love Me
- London's Daily Mirror reports that Madonna was furious when she discovered her
part in the upcoming 007 movie was not a typical hot, young Bond Girl. She
reportedly insisted that if she didn't get to bed or even kiss Pierce Brosnan,
then her character had to be rewritten as a sexy lesbian so people wouldn't
think she was the only woman in the film that 007 didn't want to have sex with.
* Oh, he'd still want to have
sex with a lesbian...just not Madonna.
* Madonna can't ACT well enough
to be a Bond Girl.
* James Bond wouldn't sleep with
Madonna because, frankly, she's just a little too promiscuous for him.
Scoop's question: what will her cute character
name be? Saggy Galore? Ima Slutte? X. Diva?
REALLY BAD IDEAS FOR MOVIES
Courtney Couldn't Play An
Angel - The New York Post claims that Drew Barrymore, who helped develop
"Charlie's Angels," now wants to turn her favorite old sitcom "Laverne &
Shirley" into a movie, with her as Shirley and Courtney Love as Laverne. Her
agent denied any knowledge of the project.
* After hearing this, her agent
denied even knowing Drew Barrymore.
* Too bad she divorced Tom
Green...She's going to need a Squiggy.
* Russia proposed that America
team with them for a joint manned mission to Mars...America will provide the
money, hardware and technology, and Russia will bring the sandwiches! Hope ya
like beets!
On
this day in 1040, according to legend, Lady Godiva rode a horse naked through
Coventry, England, after her husband offered to lower the peasants' taxes if she
would.
* Bill Clinton tried the same
offer once with Heidi Klum.
Opera fails to attract doubles for
stars' nude scenes. Organisers of an Austrian festival say they can't find
anyone to play the nude scenes in one of its operas. The Salzburg Festival says
it's having the problems with Alexander Zemlinsky's King Kandaules. They need a
man and a woman to double for the leading players in the naked scenes. Der
Standard newspaper says no women have turned up for casting. The female double
has to be 5ft tall with a 40in chest and 26in waist. Three men wanted the male
role but none measured up. The festival of opera, theatre and concerts runs from
July 27 to August 31.
Complete story.
I love the description of the
rejected male applicants. Wonder what part of them didn't measure up? Maybe
they don't have 50-inch waists...
From Neal Travis, NY Post. Is this really the kind of
"Juice" we want to see?...
O.J.'s JUICY SEXCAPADES
HE still hasn't exposed the person who really killed his wife, Nicole, but O.J.
Simpson isn't letting that frustration get him down. In fact, in a new bootleg
video that's about to be marketed over the Internet, the disgraced former
football star appears to be enjoying a very lusty love life. I'm told the
30-minute tape opens with O.J., looking somewhat befuddled, boasting about how
great things are in his Florida domicile, how many friends and fans he has and
how he's wanting for nothing. Then it cuts to the chase - Simpson making it with
two white girls in a steamy menage a trios.
I know some of the people behind the video. It's fair to say they are "of
repute" if not "reputable" and that they have sounded out some p.r. firms about
marketing strategies. (In the end, they seem to have decided the video will sell
itself without professional help.)
Likewise, their claim that the tape is either bootlegged or was somehow stolen
from O.J.'s private stock. This could be just a gimmick to increase its sleaze
value. For all we know, a cash-strapped Simpson may be an enthusiastic partner
in the venture. The only sure thing seems to be that the tape will be a
huge seller in the demimonde of the Internet. In our
celebrity-and-scandal-obsessed society, O.J. is some kind of sick icon and some
of us will never get enough of him. |
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