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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Junior is moving this week. He'll be back somewhere toward the end of the weekend. It's 7-11, so don't forget your free Slurpees today at 7-Eleven. Remember they hate it if you offer Ganesha a peanut.

Updates:

The entire wrestling volume is updated - all new format, thumbnails for every picture, about 450 additions. A massive undertaking. It is also now included in the search engine, and should pick the girls up by any of their known aliases.

Other crap:

 

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Tuna
"Crazy Mama"

Crazy Mama (1975) is a corn-ball Roger Corman drive in film that has an unlikely bunch of characters traveling in convoy from Long Beach, California to their original home in Jerusalem, Arkansas, and robbing targets of opportunity along the way. It would be just another depression era gangster film, except that it is set in the late 50's, which at least provided a great sound track and a nostalgic bunch of cars. Also, two of the characters, a surfer boyfriend of Linda Purl, and a biker replete with leathers and a DA (that's duck's ass, a haircut, for those not familiar wit the era) where classics for the time.

Other than that, it was a collection of corn-ball lines, chases, and bungled robberies, and had no believable characters. I enjoyed the look and the sounds, but the plot left me cold. Cloris leachman shows breasts through a plastic apron, and Purl as her daughter shows breasts and buns when the two boyfriends open the bathroom door. This film is a typical genre effort, so is a C.

 

  • Thumbs
  • Cloris Leachman (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Linda Purl (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Segunda Piel'"

    Segunda Piel (1999), or Second Skin, stars my favorite Spanish actress, Ariadna Gil, as one third of a love triangle. Her sex life has become infrequent and unsatisfying, and she suspects husband Jordi Mollà of having an affair. This is confirmed when she picks up his dry cleaning, and finds a hotel receipt in the pocket. She would never suspect that his lover was a man, Javier Bardem. Bardem is a prominent orthopedic surgeon, and has hopes of a lasting relationship with Mollà. Mollà, who is some sort of aeronautical engineer, is torn between his wife and son and public acceptance on one hand, and the man he loves on the other. Bardem is honest with himself, and openly caring, while Mollà is deep in the closet, where we find he has been most of his life.

    The homosexual sex scenes are rather explicit, which is somewhat unusual, but they also display the kind of raw passion that is the secret sauce in the hottest heterosexual sex scenes in films. There is no doubt that these two men are into each other. Gil is naked twice, first, we see a breast and her buns when she has sex with a coworker wile separated from her husband, and then shows breasts and bush in a lengthy sex scene with Mollà. Her portrayal was very strong, as she grapples with the myriad of emotions and self-doubt.

    Critics are split on this (50/50 at Rotten Tomatoes), with the detractors calling it soap opera fare. IMDB readers say 5.6 of 10. For me, it was an erotic treatment of a rather controversial theme, and was very well done. I felt like I understood all of the main characters, and could actually sympathize with each of them. Cross-over appeal is more than likely limited by the graphic homosexual sex scenes, so the proper score is C.

     

  • Thumbs (1, 2)

  • Ariadna Gil (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Graphic Response

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Aesthete

    This is tremendous. Madchen Mmick's nude scenes in Dream Lover make it one of our top ten "most wanted on DVD" films for nudity. These are very close to DVD quality, and far better than any other caps I've seen from this film.

    Aesthete also did a bunch of (digitally censored) caps from the immortal TV classic "Dog eat Dog"

    Hankster
    Scoop, Today a trip back in the time machine to 1973 and Joyce Jillson in "Superchick", kind of a fun film as Joyce plays a plain Jane stewardess who transforms to a swinging superchick on the ground, hop-scotching from one man to another.

    Variety
    Denise Richards The up-and-coming Shakespearian shows off a couplet on Spin City

    Milla Jovovich (1,2,3,4) In Resident Evil, from "Kayman" - and they say no man is an island. Along with Kayman, other men who are islands include past and present Cleveland Indians Ellis Burks and Luke Easter. Some women are islands as well, including actress Catalina Larranaga and model Kathy Ireland.
    Pat Reeder's Comedy-Wire
    Pat's words in yellow

    MADONNA DEMANDS TO PLAY LESBIAN

    The Spy Who Didn't Love Me - London's Daily Mirror reports that Madonna was furious when she discovered her part in the upcoming 007 movie was not a typical hot, young Bond Girl. She reportedly insisted that if she didn't get to bed or even kiss Pierce Brosnan, then her character had to be rewritten as a sexy lesbian so people wouldn't think she was the only woman in the film that 007 didn't want to have sex with.

    * Oh, he'd still want to have sex with a lesbian...just not Madonna.

    * Madonna can't ACT well enough to be a Bond Girl.

    * James Bond wouldn't sleep with Madonna because, frankly, she's just a little too promiscuous for him.

    Scoop's question: what will her cute character name be? Saggy Galore? Ima Slutte? X. Diva?


    REALLY BAD IDEAS FOR MOVIES

    Courtney Couldn't Play An Angel - The New York Post claims that Drew Barrymore, who helped develop "Charlie's Angels," now wants to turn her favorite old sitcom "Laverne & Shirley" into a movie, with her as Shirley and Courtney Love as Laverne. Her agent denied any knowledge of the project.

    * After hearing this, her agent denied even knowing Drew Barrymore.

    * Too bad she divorced Tom Green...She's going to need a Squiggy.


    * Russia proposed that America team with them for a joint manned mission to Mars...America will provide the money, hardware and technology, and Russia will bring the sandwiches! Hope ya like beets!


     On this day in 1040, according to legend, Lady Godiva rode a horse naked through Coventry, England, after her husband offered to lower the peasants' taxes if she would.

    * Bill Clinton tried the same offer once with Heidi Klum.



    Opera fails to attract doubles for stars' nude scenes.  Organisers of an Austrian festival say they can't find anyone to play the nude scenes in one of its operas. The Salzburg Festival says it's having the problems with Alexander Zemlinsky's King Kandaules. They need a man and a woman to double for the leading players in the naked scenes. Der Standard newspaper says no women have turned up for casting. The female double has to be 5ft tall with a 40in chest and 26in waist. Three men wanted the male role but none measured up. The festival of opera, theatre and concerts runs from July 27 to August 31. Complete story.

    I love the description of the rejected male applicants.  Wonder what part of them didn't measure up?  Maybe they don't have 50-inch waists...


    From Neal Travis, NY Post.  Is this really the kind of "Juice" we want to see?...


    O.J.'s JUICY SEXCAPADES

    HE still hasn't exposed the person who really killed his wife, Nicole, but O.J. Simpson isn't letting that frustration get him down. In fact, in a new bootleg video that's about to be marketed over the Internet, the disgraced former football star appears to be enjoying a very lusty love life. I'm told the 30-minute tape opens with O.J., looking somewhat befuddled, boasting about how great things are in his Florida domicile, how many friends and fans he has and how he's wanting for nothing. Then it cuts to the chase - Simpson making it with two white girls in a steamy menage a trios.

    I know some of the people behind the video. It's fair to say they are "of repute" if not "reputable" and that they have sounded out some p.r. firms about marketing strategies. (In the end, they seem to have decided the video will sell itself without professional help.)

    Likewise, their claim that the tape is either bootlegged or was somehow stolen from O.J.'s private stock. This could be just a gimmick to increase its sleaze value. For all we know, a cash-strapped Simpson may be an enthusiastic partner in the venture.  The only sure thing seems to be that the tape will be a huge seller in the demimonde of the Internet. In our celebrity-and-scandal-obsessed society, O.J. is some kind of sick icon and some of us will never get enough of him.