"Fire on the Amazon"

Fire on the Amazon (1993) is a direct to video save the rain forest which is being destroyed by an evil consortium of the powers that be film, and would not have even showed up on my RADAR except that it stars Sandra Bullock, and she is naked except for a crotch patch in one dark scene. An American journalist arrives to write a story about the Amazon rain forests, and a popular dissident leader, also president of the rubber workers union is assassinated to mark his arrival. In investigating, he manages to get thrown in jail with an Indian accused of the murder, and doesn't find the Indian's signed statement and subsequent suicide convincing. He convinces Sandra, a conservationist, to head off into the jungle following the Indian's body to learn the truth.

For those who have skipped this genre, it is a little more complicated to tell the good guys from the bad guys, as hat color doesn't do it. Here is your cheat sheet:

Good Guys:

Some journalists
Rubber workers

Bad Guys:

Everybody else

IMDb readers give this a richly deserved 3.2 of 10. It is 100% predictable, the one nude sex scene is way too dark, and it has an unhappy ending, followed by the genre-required rain forest destruction figures in text overlay. It is an indifferent transfer, and they managed to make the rain forest look ugly. This is a D-. If you want to explore the theme, rent Emerald Forest.

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  • Sandra Bullock (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

    "The Dreamers"

    The Dreamers (2003) is a British/French/Italian co-production directed by Bernardo Bertolucci, and based on Gilbert Adair's 1988 novel The Holy Innocents. The book was somewhat autobiographical, and uses 1968 Paris as a historical backdrop. As the film opens, we meet Matthew (Michael Pitt), an American student from San Diego in Paris to study French and keep his student deferment. He has fallen in love with cinema, and spends all of his free time at the Cinematheque Francais. This day, he runs headlong into massive protest, because the director and founder of the cinema, Henri Langlois, has been fired by the government. This real event caused a student led revolt, and Langlois was reinstated, giving the students reason to think that their generation would be the one to make changes to the world. Symbolically, it was much like Johnson deciding not to seek another term was in the US.

    At the protest, Matthew meets Isabelle (Eva Green) and her twin brother Theo (Louis Garrel). They hit it off immediately, and Mathiew is invited to dinner. Their father was a famous poet, but he and his wife are sort of out of touch now, and not at all on the cutting edge. The parents head off on holiday, and Michael is invited to move in. He notices that the brother and sister sleep together nearly naked, but is really drawn to Isabelle. When he loses a movie game and Theo demands that he make love with Isabelle, he protests, but is just drunk enough to go along. He is amazed to find she was a virgin. He is almost equally drawn to both, as they seem like two halves of the same person. The three become virtual prisoners in the house, with no awareness of what is going on outside.

    The film ends with the student riots in the later half of 1968, in which the students were not successful. After nearly shutting down Paris with massive strikes, they were unceremoniously crushed by special police, pretty much ending the dream of changing the world, much like Kent State and the Democratic convention in Chicago in the US.

    Eva Green had never appeared in a film before, but, based on this performance, is on her way to a huge career. She has a great body, which she shows every part of many times in the film, a pretty face, and can act. Bertolucci chose to shoot in a physical location, a Paris apartment, feeling that the location becomes a character in the film, and the constraints of a real physical location require creative solutions which add up to a better film in the end. Short clips of dozens of famous films are included as the three watch or discuss film.

    The film is finally being released next week on DVD in the US, and I am happy to report that they are releasing the original cut, albeit with an NC-17 rating. This is the same version that screened in England with a 16+ and Italy with a 14+. There was a theatrical release of an R version in the US which grossed $2.53M. IMDb readers have this at 7.1, and it received several award nominations. Ebert loved it, especially because it included historical events that he personally witnessed, and awarded 4 stars. Possible because I am also a child of the 60s, I adored this film. It has enough nudity and sex to be considered a soft core, but has a compelling plot, and gives a real sense of the heady elation of the 60s when it looked like "The times they are a changin'." There is no score, but the soundtrack is full of a wide variety of music, mostly period appropriate and mostly rock, but with some French Cabaret songs. This will be the first soft core I have rated above C+, but, even if you really don't like male and female full frontal, there is much in this film you will like, B-.

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  • Eva Green (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Welcome to L.A.

    • There are not many films which have featured nudity from three or more major mainstream stars in their prime. Director Alan Rudolph has been directing films for about 30 years, and his highest rated film is Choose Me (6.6 at IMDb). Here's Geraldine Chaplin full-frontal in Welcome to L.A.. (.avi - zip) (.wmv - zip)

    • Lauren Hutton in Welcome to L.A. (.avi - zip) (.wmv - zip)

    • Sissy Spacek in Welcome to L.A. (.avi - zip) (.wmv - zip)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    A bit of the usual paparazzi stuff.

    Eliza Dushku shows off some cleavage and some midriff but keeps the critical goodies covered in a high-fashion tube-top.

    Ivana Bozolovic (the one naked chick in Van Wilder) gives up robo-cleavage.

    Jessica Alba is fully dressed...not a thing showing... and still these are the most provocative images in today's collection. She's dating Jeter, huh? As if getting paid $10 million a year to play a game wasn't enough for the young man.

    Maria Sharapova looking glorious in victory.

    Roselyn Sanchez keeps up her image as the Queen of Tease. Cleavage, pokies and legs, all in one nice, neat package.

    • Roselyn Sanchez (1, 2, 3)

    And Taryn Manning, also doing the hokey-pokies.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Part 2 of the Ghost's Skinemax Summer.

    Ashlie Rhey and Lisa Boyle both show breasts and thong views while performing an erotic stage show in these 'caps and vids from "Midnight Tease" (1994).

    Juliana Kincaid
    (1, 2, 3)

    The adult star topless in scenes from something called "The New Girl".

    Julia Kruis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    Leah Riley aka Amy Lindsay
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    From the Skinemax movie "Exposed". Julia Kruis shows off her robo-hooters. Riley/Linday also goes topless.

    Elisha Cuthbert
    (1, 2, 3)

    More undies and cleavage from "The Girl Next Door". 'Caps by Twitchy.

    Laura Linney
    (1, 2, 3)
    Heike Makatsch
    (1, 2, 3)

    Scenes from the romantic comedy "Love Actually" (2003). Linney goes topless, and German babe Heike Makatsch looks fantastic in red undies.

    Denise Kellogg
    (1, 2, 3)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the former Heffer (April '76) playing the demanding role of 'Nude Model' in scenes from "Tai-Pan" (1986).