Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


  • There are 177 new pictures added to existing volumes in sections D, E, F, and G of the Encyclopedia. Today's and yesterday's updates are highlighted in yellow.


A mystery revisited:

Some people told me that this link didn't work yesterday. Here again, in reasonably nice quality, is a zipped .avi of the "thongless" (maybe?)  version of the Malin Akerman dressing scene in Comeback. (8 meg)

One reader wrote in to say he thinks she is actually wearing the thong in this video, but the resolution isn't sufficient to show it without a detailed inspection. Maybe so. I guess that makes more sense than any other explanation I've heard.



  • Venus Williams bouncing around and lookin' nippy in a nice quality zipped .avi of the finals at Wimbledon. 6 meg
  • Sienna Miller, Jude Law's main squeeze, in Layer Cake. Zipped .wmv - about 3 meg. This comes to Region 1 DVD in late August.
  • Kelly McDonald and Obi-Wan in Trainspotting. Zipped .wmv - about 4 meg
  • Kathleen Quinlan in I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. Zipped .wmv - about 5 meg


Other Crap:

Opera Watch: Opera 8.02 builds a Bit Torrent client right into its browser.


The Trailer for Three (2004) Billy Zane and Kelly Brook star. 3 people marooned on a desert island, only one will survive. I don't know how they got on that island, but ... I dare to dream ... could this be Billy Zane's fourth sinking ship movie? (Titanic, Dead Calm, Cleopatra)



Judge orders reporter Judith Miller jailed until the end of time (or thereabouts)



Time's Matthew Cooper will testify and reveal his source in the Plame case. He got a call from the source relieving him of his pledge to secrecy.



Dude, I am so there: RoadHouseThe



Top 13 Most Overrated Songs



Cleavage: a two hour special on breasts, tonight on A&E



In Stirring Address to Nation, President Rekindles America's Love Affair With Getting Its Superpower Ass Kicked in Vietraq ... (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)



URL says it all:


Are ships' captains empowered to perform marriages at sea?

  • "This is the interesting part--this myth is so widely believed, not only among the general public but among sailors, that both the United States Navy and the British Mercantile Marine Office have taken the extraordinary step of explicitly forbidding captains to do free-lance weddings. "



London wins 2012 Olympics. IOC members voted 54-50 for London over Paris.



Forget the Bootleg, Just Download the Movie Legally



Chinese Wage Slaves spend all day playing video games.



Johnny Depp plays Willy Wonka as Jacko.



Sleepwalker rescued from crane. Didn't Popeye and Swee'pea do this schtick already?



873-Pound Bluefin Tuna Caught Off Delaware Coast (with pictures)



Rapper Lil' Kim gets sentenced to a year and a day in prison. The prosecutors asked for much more.



Five clips and the trailer from The Edukators

  • Jan, Peter and Jule are living out their rebellious youth. They are united by their passion to change the state of the world. Jan and Peter become "The Edukators," mysterious perpetrators who non-violently warn the local rich their "days of plenty are numbered." Complications follow when vulnerable Jule ends up falling for both young men. Reckless choices result in danger. An operation gone wrong and what was never intended to be a kidnapping brings the three young idealists face-to-face with the values of the generation in power
  • "Bande-annonce" means "trailer"; "passer l'intro" is obvious, but in case it doesn't register, it means "skip the intro"



Two trailers for Initial D

  • "Based on a Japanese comic book, 'Initial D' is the story of a young street car racer."



The trailer for The Warrior

  • Winner of the BAFTA Award for Best British Film, "The Warrior" is the tale of a local enforcer for a rich Indian warlord who renounces his life of violence and then becomes the prey of his murderous former colleagues. The film follows the hero's journey from the deserts of Rajasthan through the snow-capped peaks of the Himalayas. Asif Kapadia, winner of the BAFTA for Most Promising Newcomer, makes his directorial debut with this visually captivating, highly acclaimed production.



The trailer for Waiting

  • "A hilarious comedy about frustrated waiters, stingy tippers and dicey food, Lions Gate Films' 'Waiting' stars Ryan Reynolds, Justin Long and Anna Faris as young employees battling boredom at Shenanigan's, a generic chain restaurant."

The trailer for The Exorcism of Emily Rose

  • "In an extremely rare decision, the Catholic Church officially recognized the demonic possession of a 19 year-old college freshman. Told in terrifying flashbacks, 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose' chronicles the haunting trial of the priest accused of negligence resulting in the death of the young girl believed to be possessed. Inspired by true events, the film stars Laura Linney as the lawyer who takes on the task of defending the priest (Tom Wilkinson) who performed the controversial exorcism."


online confessions, stories, secrets - confess your sins at No, thanks. I'm good.


Vaginal Food & Cuisine: The Cunnoisseurs


President Bush hurt in bicycle collision with policeman in UK. That is all literally true and unexaggerated. The most powerful man on earth rode his bike into a bobby. Jimmy Carter's rabbit was unavailable for comment.


Conan and Late Night show their support for NYC's nomination as the host for the 2012 Summer Olympic Games.


Oh, the joy! The rapture! Hollywood threatens to make "I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer"


Iowahawk Special Guest Commentary By Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi

  • "And please, don't even get me started about the armchair quarterbacking. They want you to kill crusaders, but only enough that the other ones go home, I guess so they can film the survivors for a weepy poignant Vietnam documentary. Oh yeah, great plan, Field Marshall Von Sundance. I'm right on it, just as soon I FIND A PLACE WHERE I CAN GET TWO FUCKING HOURS OF BOMB-FREE SLEEP



[ :::: The Official Website of Christina Lindley :::: ] (She was the hottie on Fear Factor this past Monday night.) Lots o' bikini pics, providing evidence that physical fitness can be really sexy if one doesn't use it to bulk up.



Texas Bigfoot Research Center

  • "It is the goal of the Texas Bigfoot Research Center to validate what we believe to be an undocumented species of bipedal, nocturnal primate commonly referred to as Bigfoot or Sasquatch. This would effectively move Bigfoot/Sasquatch from the realm of cryptozoology into zoology."



Letter from Justice O'Connor to President Bush Announcing Her Retirement - WHITEHOUSE.ORG




  • "The CloneWatch Mission is to fight for the preservation of our world's natural laws. We are an all-volunteer organization committed to investigating corporations and/or individuals involved with hazardous and reckless scientific experimentation and illegal cloning."
  • I guess they are serious, but one of their videos looks like it could be a scene from Possession, that movie where Isabel Adjani fucks the squid who turns out to be her son. Or something.



Martha Stewart hates house arrest, loved her time in the cooler. I guess she could ask to go back in.



"Masturbating for the Glory of God" I need to join this church. I think I could by-pass the priesthood and go directly to sainthood.



This week's movies: Dark Water - only four reviews, but all are moderately positive.



This week's movies: Fantastic Four - no reviews. Actually, there are exactly two reviews. One compares it unfavorably to the never-released Corman version, and the other damns with faint praise, saying it is not as bad as Daredevil. Oh-oh!!


Dad's birthday coming up? Consider The Lapjuicer


A Cincinnati man has been charged with public indecency for exposing his breasts. One must concede that his arrest is a fair, impartial application of a very silly law. Why DO we have laws that prevent women from showing their breasts? We should have laws forbidding women from covering them! Except in certain cases. I'll let Rosie O'Donnell have a waiver.


The poll results are in. And the greatest American rock band ever is ...


Hal Hartley's new film will only be available through Netflix.



Ricky Gervais screwing around at Live 8.



"My life as a courtesan", from the Sunday Times.

  • "She’s young, smart, attractive, middle class — and a call girl. Jet Set Lara gives her version of why she loves her profession, and why men pay £5,000 a day to be with her"



Doggie disguises. They picture a doberman converted into a poodle, but they have several other kits available as well.


A featurette about Poseidon

  • "When a rogue wave capsizes a luxury cruise ship in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean, a small group of survivors find themselves unlikely allies in a battle for their lives. As the unstable vessel rapidly floods with water, they face unimaginable odds and life-altering decisions in their desperate fight to the surface."
  • This film violates one of the most important of the Scoopian Unities of Time and Place and Nudity 'n Shit. I've theorized before that there is only one kind of movie which should be remade: a pretty good movie that should have been great. Even narrowing the criteria in that way can produce total disasters like Rollerball, but at least it is a good starting point. Having said that, and even admitting that other criteria may be valid, it is hard for me to envision any good reason to remake The Poseidon Adventure, unless it involves Jessica Alba and Salma Hayek naked.
  • The film also violates another, more obscure section of the Scoopian Unities. It has a sinking ship, and no Billy Zane.
  • This is being directed by the guy who did Das Boot. I guess he's really into "rogue waves", because he also directed The Perfect Storm.



New Music that doesn't fit anywhere: the primeTime sublime Community Orchestra

  • "pTsCO brings an entirely new sensibility to the often pretentious and self-absorbed world of modern music."
  • One critic described them as "Monty Python's Illegitimate Children Flunk Out Of Music School."


"The Silence of the Lambs" - the TV series. Great idea for a sitcom!



Glass bridge being built over the Grand Canyon.



Human footprints discovered beside an ancient Mexican lake have been dated to 40,000 years ago. If the finding survives the controversy it is bound to stir up, it means that humans must have moved into the New World at least 30,000 years earlier than previously thought, and at least a few months before the beginning of Cher's farewell tour.



The Landscape on Comet Tempel 1



Vince Vaughn has dismissed reports that he is "dating" Jennifer Aniston.

  • "There's no dating, per se," said the comedy star, "I'm just tappin' that sweet ass. I mean I'm pummelin' that poontang in ways and places Brad Pitt never dreamed of. That girl is gettin' it all: Dirty Sanchez, Cleveland Steamer, Baltimore Bottom, Louisiana Leapfrog, Oakland Auger, Atlanta Asshat, Rear-view Mirror, Head Adair, the ol' Kool-Aid Kids - even the highly dreaded Crazy Straws."
  • Sigh, what he really said was so-o-o-o boring.



Brad Pitt eyed for Van Gogh biopic. According to the New York Post, Ron Howard and Brian Glazer want Pitt to play the lead role in the movie which will have "a new angle." Yeah, I'd say having Van Gogh be a buffed-up hunk would be a new angle. Oh, that Van Gogh! In between the religious crises and the flirtations with insanity and the whole wacky self-mutilation thing, he never missed a chance to work on his abs or score with the hot chicks!


Talk about a royal pain in the neck.



Taiwan to say "Hello, Dalai" ... Taiwan leader invites Dalai Lama to visit, participate in long driving contest. Big hitter, the Lama.



55 Optical Illusions & Visual Phenomena



Mariah Carey draws on fake abs



National Geographic's hundred best pictures of 2004. (Very bandwidth-intensive, but beautiful photographs.)


How to kill yourself like a man.



A great headline for BBC: False breasts betray exam cheats.

  • "A Russian youth wearing a drag outfit which gave him improbably large breasts has been caught trying to sit an entrance exam for a female friend." - Longhorn Preview: "The newest versions of the next Windows add graphics sizzle and more search features but lack visible productivity enhancements."


PAULA ABDUL EMERGES AS FAVORITE FOR SUPREME COURT. She's America's top woman judge - makes sense to me.



The Bad News Bears webisode 1


Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


'Caps and comments by Hankster:
For today we took the old Time Machine back to 1981 and a visit to a good movie: "Body Heat" with Kathleen Turner. (1, 2, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) (Hank's numbering)
Kathleen made a name for herself in this movie with a sultry sexy performance that is hard to top by any mainstream actress. Did she show a lot? No. But the woman just oozes sex appeal with gorgeous legs, hot and sweaty small tits with nipples like pencil erasers and a great ass. Go back and watch this one again, it has held up well with time.

Rachel McAdams

Rachel McAdams in My Name is Tanino

I had no idea this existed until today. Here is the star of The Notebook in an Italian coming-of-age film called My Name is Tanino. The film was entered at Venice in 2002, then had a brief theatrical release in Italy, then ... ???? Based on the score and comments at IMDb, it is a pretty good flick, and McAdams showed some flesh, so you'd think someone would rush this to DVD.

Rachel McAdams in The Notebook Very brief and very dark, but really topless, if only for a moment.

McAdams will be seen next week in The Wedding Crashers. There have been rumors that she'll do some nudity in that film as well, but I have not seen that confirmed by anyone who has seen the final version of that film.

Señor Piel
Rosanna Yanni ( 1, 2)

In Hunchback of the Morgue

Drew Barrymore I didn't know that Drew provided a little areola action in Mad Love. In fact, I don't even remember Mad Love at all.


Barbra Streisand

I think this is the best version available of the Ur-Diva in Owl and the Pussycat. If you rent this from your video store, you'll find that the nudity has been digitally blurred.

Georgina Cates Oz does so many original caps that I sometimes miss the importance of them, and need to go back and focus on one. As far as I know, Oz is the only guy who has captured this scene from Frankie Starlight

Rachel Hunter

Talk about a MILF! This is her page from the nude celebrity book, "4 Inches," which was assembled by the Elton John Aids Foundation. (Photographs of naked women taken by other, presumably clothed, women.)

Laila Goody (1, 2, 3)

Marvin is back with more nudity from Scandinavia. Laila is seen in 2003's Jonny Vang, a love triangle set in small-town Norway

Rachel Nichols (1, 2)

Two sexy posed shots of the babe from Fox TV's The Inside

Lindsay Lohan

Another HQ bikini pic of the newly-emaciated young tootsie and all around party animal

Tiffany Shepis

The round-bottomed B starlet in Vinyl Dolls


Tuna's condition is stable. Nothing new to report. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

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