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Showdown in Little Tokyo
Hi, everyone. Uncle Scoopy is on vacation for a while, and I'm the pinch hitter. You've seen my work here, under the nickname of The Realist, now you'll have to endure my commentary as well. Incidentally, if you send in material or comments, don't change anything. I will be monitoring the scoopy.net mailboxes. This first movie is one that Scoopy would refer to as one of your "immortal screen classics" - Showdown in Little Tokyo. Now I don't know that much about Japanese culture, so I always welcome a chance to learn. For example, I learned that when Japanese people wave things through the air, that those objects make whoosing, swishing, and whistling sounds. I also learned about the code of honor that says no matter what is at stake, even a trillion dollar jewel heist or something, that if a guy challenges you to fight him with fists or ornamental swords or throwing stars or candied yams, that you must drop your Uzi and take up the challenge instead of just blasting him into oblivion. I also learned that Japanese food isn't really all raw fish. It just smells like raw fish, for reasons that are obvious in this picture.
More eating practices
even more eating practices
I also learned that sumo is not just for Japanese fat guys, but can be practiced by nubile young babes as well. Unfortunately, ESPN only carries the fat guy type.
I also learned that if Depends ever decides to penetrate the Japanese market, they're going to kick some ass, because Japanese guys don't wait until they are 80 to start wearing diapers. Somewhere amid the diapers and tattoos, there are a couple of topless chicks as well.
In traditional Japanese culture, nothing impresses the chicks more than a man with full-body tattoos and his diaper turned at a rakish angle. The only thing necessary to round it off is a suitably menacing expression, and the ability to shout "hi-ya" really loud and fast. Look at the effect on this young lovely
I guess the new technology, like the internet, is showing us how much alike we all are. Grade-b movie parties, whether held in Tokyo, Little Tokyo or Belfast, always include plenty of topless extras.
Another topless extra. Tia Carrere also appears in the frame, fully dressed, and with a very strange facial expression. She looks like one of those Mexican dancers about to cock her head and raise her skirts and do an intricate seduction dance to distract Zorro while the alcalde and his men attempt to capture him. In the context of the alleged plot, she was just kind of strolling along.
one more topless extra
this is Renee Griffin. She offers to give some head to the leader of the Japanese bad guys. He takes this a bit too literally, and chops hers off with a ceremonial sword. I guess it's a ceremonial sword. Tell the truth, I can't tell a ceremonial sword from a Gillette Good News razor. I hear that the new, modernized Yakuza don't use straight-edge ceremonial swords for their beheadings any more, but electric razors. Maybe you remember the Norelco ad for this product "floating heads, floating heads ......"
more Griffin and the sword-fu guy
Here's Tera Tabrizi. What? Who? Well, I'll tell ya. Tera Tabrizi is someone you and I know well, even though we have no idea what she looks like. She is a professional body double. In this case, she provided the stunt tits for Tia Carrere, and some stunt butt as well. Nice ones, too.
More stunt tits from Tera Tabrizi
The last three in this section are the real body of Tia Carrere. She didn't get naked, but she did bounce around without a bra for a while.
Luck of the draw. My first day on duty, and I receive excellent major galleries from two guys that I never heard of. Interesting stuff, too. The first newcomer is Chromer, and these caps are Carol Shaya, the real-life NYPD officer who got in trouble with the department because she showed her privates to the world in a well known male-oriented periodical. I didn't realize she made any movies, but here she is in Silent Prey, wearing a bikini and hanging out with a guy who obviously thought the name of the movie was Silent PRAY, with an "a".
Just to show that she respects the tradition of all religions, Carol has moved on from the Jewish guy, and is now dating a nun. Here she is wearing a Catholic High School uniform without the white blouse.
here she is in a halter top. Not sure what religious mufti this might be. Definitely not Amish.
Finally, here are Carol's real assets in all their pagan glory
more of Carol's breasts
Carol's butt. She's either in a naked gun battle or a really hot game of Truth or Dare
Carol in a t-shirt
Carol in a bra. Thanks to Chromer. This was really interestimng stuff that I've never seen before!
The other new guy today is Little Chicken. I don't know who he is, but I know he likes Penelope Cruz a lot. Here are some paparazzi pictures.
More Penelope Cruz paparazzi. When I was a kid reading my copy of The Odyssey for Dummies, I thought the name Penelope rhymed with "cantaloupe"
Penelope Cruz paparazzi
Penelope Cruz paparazzi
Penelope Cruz - glamorous portrait only
Penelope Cruz - another portrait
Penelope Cruz - this and all the ones below it are video captures from "Jamon, Jamon"
Penelope Cruz. Great gallery, Little Chicken.
These three guys are three of the best vidcappers in the world, and each has his specialty. Norman Bates is one of the masters of the collage. There's no nudity here, but he's done a wonderful study in blue, of Jennifer Tilly and Chucky
Blackshine has backed away from collages for a second, and has gone back to his old 3x3 style. I just don't know of anybody who does this format better than Blackshine. He uses elegant bordering and his individual frames are always of superior clarity and color. This one is Helen Hunt in The Waterdance.
Here's Ann-Kathrin Kramer in "Jede Lust hat ihren Preis"
Ann-Kathrin Kramer in "Jede Lust hat ihren Preis"
If Norman is the collage king, and Blackshine is the technical master, Slartibartfast is the best storyteller I've seen. I love his collages because he always knows exactly which frames are necessary to summarize the action in the scene. Here's Alexandra Neldel in "Das Miststueck"
Inga Busch, in "Einfach Raus"
Barbara Schoeneberger in "Tie-Break". Hey, I understand that title!