Thursday

Film clips:

The Money Train is a pretty good "turn off the brain and ride the roller coaster" kind of movie, with a pretty good buddy act in the first half by Snipes and Harrelson. In fact, Tuna thought the entire movie was entertaining, although I lost interest in the second half when it completely lost touch with reality. (Movie House Review) Anyway, the point here is that some of the J-Lo nudity was lost in the widescreen DVD, so here's a full screen film clip. The quality is weak because it comes from a tape, but J-Lo is a mega-star, and those are her boobies! (Zipped .avi).

 

Beyond the Law (1992):

Thriller about a cop (Charlie Sheen) who goes deep undercover as a biker to expose a gang which is dealing arms and drugs.

Beyond the Law is "based on a true story," which is to say that the names and places have been changed, but the essential core of the story really happened. Given that fact, I tried to find out more about Dan Black, the real-life cop who was the model for "Dan Saxon," the main character in the film. I couldn't find a damned thing. The only relevant result from Google is a listing for Dan Black as a technical advisor on this movie. According to the DVD special features, writer/director Larry Ferguson found out about Black's story from an article in Playboy. The same "production notes" mention that the story actually took place in Northern California around 1975.

Irrespective of its other merits as a film, Beyond the Law has been widely praised for realism by both law enforcement officers and those familiar with biker gangs. Both groups agree that Charlie Sheen and writer/director Larry Ferguson went to great trouble to portray the details accurately. The law enforcement types feel that the film did a good job of showing the physical and psychological perils of undercover police work, and Dan Black himself praised both the director and Charlie Sheen for an accurate recreation of the traumatic experiences he faced. The bikers were equally impressed by the film's presentation of motorcycle gang life. An Arizona biker gang called the Dirty Dozen acted as technical advisors on the film, and were well satisfied with the results, including Sheen's appearance and behavior.

If it were my call, I'd prefer the 108-minute film to be shorter and the script to be more economical. I do appreciate the film's in-depth development of character and atmosphere, and I was at least neutral about its symbolism, mysticism, and dime-store psychology, but I could have done without the long, wordless shots of guys, riding ... riding ... riding. (Or assembling engines!)

Having made that point, I should add that the film has some great moments. My favorite scene occurred when Sheen tried to warn his biker pal about an upcoming police raid. He had told his girlfriend the previous night that he had to try to warn the man because "He saved my life." She responded, quite properly, "He saved SID's (his biker alter ego's) life. Do you even know the difference any more?" Unconvinced, Sheen did try to warn the biker, only to have the guy put off their heart-to-heart so he could rob a convenience store and kill the young female clerk mercilessly. Sheen, of course, was shocked by the murderous action, but also shocked at himself for ever having thought that the cold-blooded psychotic was his friend. After the murder, of course, he scrapped his plans for a warning. That sequence of events seems to me to capture perfectly the inner conflicts facing those who do undercover work.

 

Linda Fiorentino

 

 

Other Crap:

"Ann Coulter: The Musical"

Conan O'Brien tries to to keep a clean show in Chicago and here comes the masturbating bear.

New Starbucks Opens In Rest Room Of Existing Starbucks

Earth Science Picture of the Day: Black Sun over Denmark

  • Early Americans reported me that sights like this used to be common in the USA. Passenger pigeons were so prolific, and their flocks so large, that they would blot out the sun when they passed overhead, sometimes for days at a time. One flock was reported to be a mile wide and 300 miles long, containing approximately two billion birds. The passenger pigeon was possibly the most prolific non-insect species in the history of our planet, and it became extinct within about a hundred year span from colonial times until the late 19th century. (There was one alive in captivity until 1914)

The trailer for 10th and Wolf, an undercover mafia-busting yarn.

The international trailer for My Super Ex-Girlfriend

A new trailer for Snakes on a Plane

  • I'm thinkin' this won't get approved as an in-flight movie

"KIM JONG-IL OFFERS TO ABANDON NUKES IN EXCHANGE FOR ROLE AS VILLAIN IN NEW BOND FILM"

  • “I have been preparing for this role every day of my life,” Mr. Kim said.

Vaughn and Aniston are engaged

"Next Door Nikki" whips 'em out for Jerry Springer

"Kenny Boy" fakes his own death to avoid prison

Uma Thurman caught in a sexy bathing suit, and she's a big girl - in more ways than one.

Lindsay Lohan caught in quite a skimpy bikini

Lewis Black versus Rick Santorum

Keira Knightley plays down anorexia rumors. She says she eats like a pig, but 63 pounds is her natural weight.

This is not a satire site, but a serious analysis: CIA believed Osama bin Laden campaigned for Bush in 2004

Albi the Racist Dragon, as performed by Flight of the Conchords

The trailer for the greatest of all Polish films, a classic often called "My Kielbasa With Andrej" by critics with nothing better to write about: Gungel Fedz a Grognik Werna, "Hi, I'm Grognik Werna". Presented, for your convenience, with no distracting subtitles.

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Torremolinos 73 (2003)

Torremolinos 73 is an offbeat Spanish comedy. 

Alfredo (Javier Cámara, Talk to Her) is an door-to-door encyclopedia salesman, but isn't selling much of anything. Since he is paid on commission, he is behind on his bills and can't afford the child that his wife Carmen (Candela Peña, All About My Mother) wants so desperately. When he is summoned to the boss's office, he fears the worst, but instead is invited with his wife to the company's first off-site conference. The theme of the conference is something of a shock. The boss is collaborating with a Danish company who is publishing a video encyclopedia of the mating habits of the world. The initial volumes have been huge sellers. Alfredo's boss gives his few remaining salesmen a choice: they can become unemployed, or they can film themselves having sex with their wives for the Spanish volume of the encyclopedia. Since there is a large cash payment for each completed film, plus commissions on sales, they go for it.

Carmen is very shy at first, but gradually warms to performing for the camera, and Alfredo becomes hooked on directing. When Carmen is accosted by a Danish tourist with a camera in a department store, they learn that she has become a famous porn star in Denmark. Alfredo rethinks what he is doing for a career. He writes a script, essentially a remake of Bergman's The Seventh Seal located in the resort town of Torremolinos. Fortunately, Alfredo's boss also has the movie bug, and decides to produce the film with Alfredo directing and Carmen as the lead. Things go reasonably well until the boss rewrites the ending to have Carmen do a sex scene with her young attractive costar.

It's a wonderful premise, and is nothing short of brilliant for the first two acts. Act three, the actual movie within a movie, isn't nearly as entertaining as the first two thirds of the film, but overall it was a great idea written with real wit and and executed beautifully by an all-star cast. The two leads were perfect. The film won several festival awards and was nominated for four Goyas. .

This is a solid C.

IMDb readers say 6.8.

 

 

Candela Peña shows everything, and is naked for much of acts two and three.
Mari-Anne Jespersen, as half of a husband-wife team of experts brought in to train the new filmmakers, shows breasts and bush.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zipped .avi clips of Caroline Key Johnson in Diary of Lust ... the first three and the last three are of Caroline and Susan Featherly doing some guy who'd been in prison but got out for a double conjugal visit. The middle two are of her stripping and dancing 'round at a first-class cocktail party. Good stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Today from a Troma crap movie "Terror Firmer."

We have Alyce LaTourelle - breasts only, but a very sexy body as she does two different guys.

 

 

Some nice looks at Jessica Biel's booty as the paparazzi catch her in a bikini.
Lindsay Lohan almost falls out of her bikini top
Keira Knightley would fall out of her top, except there is nothing to fall