"The Journey to Kafiristan"
The Journey to Kafiristan (2001) is a German film originally titled Die Reise nach Kafiristan, concerns an Ethnologist (Nina Petri as Ella Maillart) and an author (Jeanette Hain as Annemarie Schwarzenbacher) who start a trek together to Kafiristan on the eve of WWII. Traveling alone as women in the orient, of course, is a rather bold move in 1930. Schwarzenbacher is hoping to find herself, or at least a better option for her life than her morphine addiction. Mailart wants to enhance her career studying somewhere that is still pretty much an unknown.
This is the sort of film that only hints at things, and lets you jump to your own conclusions. There is a definitely lesbian undercurrent between the two women, and they do have some sort of special relationship, but we can only guess what. Likewise, we get sparse information as to the difficulties they encounter as they try to reach Kafiristan. Hain shows one breast swimming, then two breasts later after taking morphine.
A handful of IMDB readers have this at 7.7 of 10. Some find it brilliant, while others are bothered by the thin plot, half formed characters, etc. Put me in the second group. I was more than ready for the film to end. The only real dramatic tension was in waiting for a good lesbian sex scene, which never happened in front of the camera. This is a C. If it is your cup of tea, you will love it. If not, it is a very long way to spend 101 minutes.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003):
There is a point of stupidity beyond which it becomes clever
again. An excellent illustration of this point is Ace Ventura: Pet
Detective, in which Jim Carrey acts so stupid that he's obviously
making fun of people who act stupid, and reaches his own level of
demented and original genius. Another good example is The Three
Stooges shorts, which I loved when I was 10, then reviled when I got
more "sophisticated", then loved again when I reached a point in
life which we all reach eventually, the point where I could like
what I liked, not what I was supposed to like. I watched some
Stooges shorts when I was thirtyish and "rained in" one day, and I
suddenly had an epiphany in which I saw the sheer exuberant genius
in their stupidity.
As I'm sure you know, intentional stupidity isn't pretty when it
fails. It takes guts to try for this because it's the kind of
failure that is both very ugly and very public. For every Jim Carrey
there are a thousand Larry Storches. For every Curly Howard we
remember, there are a thousand forgotten guys with silly names and
bad haircuts, like Ish Kabibble and Huntz Hall. But director McG is
not lacking in courage, for it is joyful, exultant, over-the-top
stupidity that Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle reaches for and
sometimes attains. Unfortunately, it succeeds for only a few minutes
of its running time.
The rest of the time is what I call "whoo
entertainment". My daughter watches shows on MTV in which audiences
gather and shout "whoo" whenever they hear a famous name mentioned.
That's it. That's the entire entertainment. The famous people rarely
show up, so the audiences celebrate only the syllables of their famous
names. The people in those audiences come to have a good time and
many of them are probably under the influence of various
consciousness-expanding substances, so their determination to have a
good time becomes a good time in itself. Jumping around and shouting
"whoo" entertains them, and in turn entertains my daughter when she
Hey, young girls. Look at us, we've having fun. Isn't it fun to
There is altogether too much of this in the second Charlie's
Angels film, too many times when we are supposed to enjoy it simply
because it is loud, and energetic, and "young", and the people
making it are obviously having a good time doing so, and shouting "whoo".
They are obviously after my daughter's peer group, the demographic group
which is amused by "whoo entertainment". Check out the scores at
|Age under 18
|Age 18 and over
Hey, young girls. Look at us, we've having fun.
In fact, virtually everyone in Hollywood seems to
have gotten into the spirit of the thing. There must be twenty
famous people with just a few lines or no lines at all. I don't
think superstar Bruce Willis had any lines, and I think I
spotted several more people who were mentioned neither in the
credits nor at IMDb.
My favorite cameo appearance was made by former TV
Angel Jaclyn Smith (picture
available, see review), one of the great beauties of her
generation, possessor of a famously sexy purring voice and a natural
elegance - and still a major fox in her 50's.
Frankly, watching this self-amusement got mighty old mighty fast. I like
the sight of Cameron Diaz shaking her booty, giggling, and shouting
"whoo", but I don't think you can build an entire movie on it. McG,
the director of Full Throttle, had no choice. He had no script nor
plot nor funny dialogue to speak of. Whatever dialogue and
development there was could easily have been covered in a 22 minute
sitcom episode. That left another hour to pad out, which he did by
turning the movie into a very long rock video, with plenty of fast
cuts, computer graphics, loud music, outrageous stunts, bright and
saturated colors, sudden changes in motion speed, and people
shouting "whoo". They all seemed to be having a good time. Some
moviegoers will find that to be enough entertainment.
I would have liked it better if there were more
scenes involving real people, but there was so much CGI that the
movie was yet one more layer removed from actual fun. Not only were
we supposed to get off on watching other people have fun, but
specifically on watching other computer-generated people. In
essence, we're supposed to enjoy watching a video game in which the
characters are having a good time. That's way too post-modern for
It's a shame, because I found the first Charlie's
Angel's flick to be
a very entertaining junk movie, and I had some moderately high hopes
for this one as well. This is a C-. I was disappointed. I expected to
like it about as much as the first one, but it seems to have
gotten lost somewhere between entertaining the audience and
entertaining the cast and crew.
It was budgeted at $120 million for
production, and the distribution/advertising costs are
estimated around $40 million. It opened strong, at #1 with a
$37 million dollar weekend, more than the next two films
(Hulk and Finding Nemo) added together, but it will have tough
sledding this weekend, against Legally Blonde 2 for the teen girl
audience and T3 for the action crowd.
There is some PG-style non-sexual non-revealing nudity.
Terminator 3 (2003):
When Arnold Schwarzenegger was a
little boy attending elementary school in his native Austria, he was
always a little different from the other kids. In the annual Famous
Composer's Pageant, all the other kids fought about who was going to
be Mozart. Not Arnold. He knew from the beginning what he wanted.
"I'll be Bach"
He has now
spurred more sequels than Bach himself. T3 is like the Carl Phillip
Emanuel Bach of his career, except that so much of the film was
created by computers that we'd have to say he's not CPE, but CPU
Bach. As the Terminator series has
progressed, it has slowly moved away from cerebral apocalyptic
fiction to F/X-centered shoot-'em-up. T2 was some years ago but remains the state of the
art for action scenes and many computer-generated effects. T3 is a
worthy and noisy successor.
Do you like chase scenes? You can forget about your
barroom arguments over the best one. The
French Connection and its successors have been retired from the
argument, because the bar has been raised,
and I don't see another film jumping over this one for years. The evil
advanced Terminator 3 drives a giant industrial crane at top speed in
pursuit of a simple van driven by Ah-nuld and the good guys. The crane
turns sideways on the flatbed, so as its cab powers it down a city
street at top speed, it simply destroys all the buildings on both
sides of the street, killing everyone in its path.
Warning: implicit spoilers
T3 the cyber-organism and T3 the
movie have something in common. They are unflinching. When the new
Terminator is sent back from the future with a hit list of some two
dozen people from our time, she wastes no time dispatching them and
everyone that stands between them and her. She kills efficiently,
emotionlessly, without comment, as a machine should. That isn't the
only element of the film which progresses to its logical but
negative extreme. The previous two films left us with the hope that
Armageddon could be avoided, the past re-written for the better,
that the circumstances which caused the near destruction of mankind
could be altered in our favor, so that John Connor never has to lead
the mankind's uprising against the machines, because the machines
never win. Fuggitaboudit! This film tells it the way it has to be.
Neither Connor nor mankind can about-face in their march toward
destiny. Of course, we knew that in our hearts, but we didn't want
to face it. This film grabs our heads and forces them to face the
screen, then props our eyelids open and gives us the complete
Ludovico Treatment, the full dose of ugly reality.
As he promised, Ah-nuld is back, and
the 55 year old version doesn't really seem any different. He's
still as hulking, buff, and stoical as ever. Although the premise of
T3 is about as far from comedy as a movie can get, the Big Guy still
manages to inject the maximum amount of allowable irony into his situations
and the Original Terminator gets off his usual share of visual gags
and one-liners, dominating the competition in the "I don't realize
the irony because I'm a robot" category.
You have to love the tough guy wearing the glittery
Elton John sunglasses (right) . He doesn't know anything about style
because he's a freakin' robot. Nonetheless, he does eventually crush
the Elton glasses and pick up some cool wrap-arounds. He may be a
cyber-man, but he's not a cyber-girly-man. He's here to pump (clap) us
I don't think you'll find T3 disappointing. It's the
biggest and baddest boy on the block this summer. The action sequences
and F/X are impressive. Ah-nold does his thing. Nick Stahl and Claire
Danes are terrific. I've never thought of Danes as an action hero, and
The Mod Squad reinforced my negative preconceptions, but Danes is a
good enough actress that she managed to bring exactly the right amount
of "terrified-but-not-defeated" to this role, giving it punch and
credibility. Last and certainly not least, the film manages in the
last ten minutes to overcome its previous lack of thoughtfulness by
simply presenting the case as it must be, and ending the trilogy as it
must end, without compromise.
Hasta la vista, mankind.
Based on this description, this is a C+. Maybe too noisy and brainless for
the more thoughtful crowd, but a helluva non-stop shoot-'em-up
in the true Schwarzenegger tradition of action and irony, and a
movie which resists all temptation to provide a happy, sappy,
Hollywood ending to the trilogy. It should look good. They spent
$200 million on production and another $40 million on marketing.
It will open with about $65 million on a five-day weekend.
Good Morning Scoop!
I now have a few more caps from Rascal Flatts video "I Melt". (1
capped these using a cool scheme for the video card and I think
they came out better. The dark nude scene is at least visible
now. On the one cap name, I might be engaging in wishful thinking
here but it almost looks like the beginning of a nip slip right
there in the lower left corner. Probably not, though. The last
cap clearly shows her breast hanging down in plain view this
time. Does anyone know who this woman is?
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
- Melissa George, showing off her amazing breasts as well as a bit of bum and a hint of pubes in scenes from the 1998 sci-fi flick, "Dark City".
- "The Mummy" star, Rachel Weisz, breifly goes topless and shows bush in a dark scene from "I Want You" (1998).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
First up is Charlize Theron showing off her great legs on a "Conan".
- Charlize Theron
Then it's supermodel Giselle on 'Leno" with leg and cleavage.
From "My Tutor", it's Amber Denyse Austin in a short sexy nightgown.
Finally Tiffani Thiessen on "Conan" with cleavage.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
We're travelling around the world with today's caps.
"Tipping the Velvet"
Starting off with a couple of euphemisms, we have Tipping the Velvet - I gather it's something lesbians do. The movie is a British TV series with Rachel Stirling playing the main lesbian lead role. Keeley Hawes liked it both ways and Sally Hawkins was still at the experimental stage. Plenty of topless and rear nudity.
- Rachel Stirling
- Keeley Hawes
- Sally Hawkins
Crossing the English channel to Europe we have Volavérunt, which seems to be Spanish euphemism for bush. Unfortunately, the only bush seen is in one of Goya's paintings. However, Penelope Cruz goes topless and Aitana Sánchez-Gijón and Stefania Sandrelli look very nice.
Heading north we come to the French film Lisa. Very brief bush by Julia Vaidis-Bogard and we see a silhouette of a topless Marion Cotillard.
"The Night Nurse"
Continuing further north to Germany for a topless Franziska Petri in an episode of the Erotic Tales series called The Night Nurse.
- Franziska Petri
Back across the Channel we have the British film Dead Romantic. Good topless shots of Janet McTeer and Caroline O'Neill.
- Janet McTeer
- Caroline O'Neill
Another British film is Wit, starring Emma Thompson. It sounded like a sloppy chick-flick with Emma playing a professor being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. However, it sucked me in and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I can see why the IMDb users rate it with a very high 8/10. The nudity comes from a topless Emma.
"Wide-eyed and legless"
Staying with the terminal illnesses we have Julie Walters suffering from (the then unknown) M. E. - Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Another good film and we see a topless Julie during bath time.
"Lady Caroline Lamb"
Remaining in England we have a topless Sarah Miles in Lady Caroline Lamb.
Heading to the other side of the world to Australia we have Gosia Dobrowolska in Golden Braid.
- Gosia Dobrowolska
Crossing the Tasman we have Melanie Lynskey in the kiwi film Snakeskin. No nudity, just a bit of underwear.
- Melanie Lynskey
"Dead in the Water"
Across the Pacific we have the interesting Brazilian film Dead in the Water. No nudity but Dominique Swain looks terrific in a bikini and there's pokies by Lavinia Vlasak, described in the credits as Brazilian beauty.
- Dominique Swain
- Lavínia Vlasak
"One Million Years B.C."
Going back in time we have One Million Years B.C. There's something to be said for leather and fur bikinis. No nudity, just cleavage by Raquel Welch, Martine Beswick and some extras.
- Raquel Welch
- Martine Beswick
Completing the world trip, we have miscellaneous caps of a variety of models. They're taken from the pay TV channel Fashion TV. Overall, it is one of the most boring of channels. It is mainly one fashion parade after another. To relieve the monotony they use different video effects and techno music for each parade. There are lots of boobs that help make the viewing interesting, but you don't know who the models are.
Occasionally, they focus on a model, a designer or a photographer. I've capped one of the sessions when they looked at different models - some of whom I've never heard of. The caps are of Elisa Crombez, Eugenia Volodina, Kamila Szczawinska, Natalia Vodianova, Anne Vyalitsyna, Eva Herzigova and Caroline Winberg.