Wednesday, July 4

Happy 231st, America


to: Scoop. re: Lawman

"I've been on vacation so this is my first chance to tell you my recollections.  About 10 years ago or so Lawman was shown on a cable station and the Sheree North/Burt Lancaster scene lasted a long time.  They were having a leisurely conversation and he was even fondling her breast.  Went and purchased the VHS version and it contained the abbreviated scene as did the DVD I purchased several years later.  Sure would like to see the long version again :-) "




* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Paradise Lost

Paradise Lost (1999) is a rain forest eco-parable supposedly set in a fictitious South or Central American country, but actually filmed in Puerto Rico. An LA developer (William Forsythe) with the help of a new defoliant invented by best friend Nigel Havers, is turning jungle enshrouded ancient ruins into a community. Step one is getting rid of the pesky rain forest. When a worker is found with his heart removed, and a baby is born missing both thumbs, they head for the site to calm everyone down.

Meanwhile, Marina Sirtis, a physical anthropologist, is there completing a study started by her husband. Both her husband and daughter died in the Southern California surf, and this is her way of grieving. She has come to suspect that rumors of a race of near humans, glyphs that show people with four fingers, an ancient defoliant, and the addition of the new one to the environment are about to cause a serious environmental calamity. So, at this point, I had the entire film figured out. The developer would be a major creep only interested in money, the inventor of the new defoliant and Mirina Sirtis would become an item, the local witch doctor would, in fact, have been the one who was killing people, and Sirtis and Havers would save the world, and find a solution that would allow growth and a better standard of living for the natives without destroying the ecology.

This ultra low budget film sidestepped all of the above cliches. The inventor, on an overnight expedition to prove some new theories, gets his heart ripped out in the beginning of act one. The developer ends up being a nice guy, and he and Sirtis have sex. I won't continue with the spoilers, but this film never went where I expected it to go.

Mirina Sirtis shows breasts in a post sex scene. Note that this is the first time we have seen them since Star Trek the Next Generation began.

IMDb readers say 5.0. In the only actual review for this film at IMDb, Scoopy had no difficulty awarding an F, and was wishing for lower possible scores. While I admit the film was dark and grainy, and the transfer could have been much better, I found the story adequate to entertaining and enjoyed many of the characters. Of course, this is my sort of film. Eco parables in general, and rain forest stories in particular are my idea of a good time, it is never a bad idea to show Marina Sirtis's bare chest, and there were some delightful minor characters. To me, this is clearly a C-, adequate for genre lovers, which is consistent with the IMDb score. Of course, as our score guidelines clearly state, "If this is NOT your kind of movie, a C- and an E are indistinguishable to you."

Thus, we are not really that far apart on this one.

(Scoop's note: Yeah, we are. because this is also my kind of film concept. I was really excited about watching the film when I slipped it into the DVD player. Then I ended up laughing all the way through it. It has exactly the same production values as those Saturday morning TV shows from the late 70s, early 80s, like Electra Woman and DynaGirl. In fact, it could be shown on Saturday Morning TV if Marina's topless scene were removed, which it could be without affecting the story in any way. I definitely stand by my F. Terrible movie, and completely incompetent technically. It's directed by the same guy who did the infamous Graduation Day. Also a poor DVD transfer. Totally bottom of the barrel. I am appreciative of Marina's efforts to liven it up with her breasts, however. If only the quality of the transfer had been better than VHS.

The only reason it has a decent IMDb score is that Males under 18 score it 6.4 ... Star Trek geeks watching American TV, lusting after Marina? People from outside the USA score it 3.9. Even 3.9 seems a bit high to me, but the most common score awarded by non-Americans, by a wide margin, is 3/10, which seems like the right vicinity. If you get this DVD I won't object, because we get a commission, but don't say I didn't warn you!)

It is available from in a Region Free PAL in English. Note that, as is often the case, the box says Region 2, but it is actually not region coded.

Click on the image below for details.

The Sex Substitute 2



Marina Sirtis








Today we have a double feature.



First up is Jenny McCarthy. Sadly only cleavage from Jenny.






Then it's on to one which may be the worst quality DVD that I have ever seen, but we do have Amber Smith as a "Babe in Bondage" with very little skin.

There is brief full frontal but from a distance.


Also from Lowball, Caprice Benedetti shows breasts.






Notes and collages

Casino Royale

A spoof Bond film. Daliah Lavi








Strip Mind

A student, Sam (Jodie Ahlborn), starts getting emails that induce nightmares. She starts hallucinating and getting physical damage. When a friend of hers is killed, she becomes the main suspect. She investigates and finds out that nothing is what it seems, not even her.



Kordula Kohlschnitt


Jodie Ahlborn








Babsie Steger in Mystere S01E06
Christina DeRosa in Entourage S04E02
Jamie Everett in Reality TVs Sexiest Women 2007
Kate Ashfield in Talk To Me S01 E02
Laura Fraser in Talk To Me  S01 E01-E03
Rachel Avery in Big Love S02 E03
Toinette Laquiere in Mystere S01E01
Toinette Laquiere in Mystere S01E05
Tonya Cooley in Reality TV's Sexiest Women 2007
Valerie Penso in Reality TV's Sexiest Women 2007
Lucy Liu in Rise: Blood Hunter
Cameron Richardson in Rise: Blood Hunter
Samaire Armstrong in Rise: Blood Hunter

Scoop's note: There are some film clips from Rise: Blood Hunter down in Catch o' the Day. I'm not sure who made them.

Deniz Akkaya in Living And Dying
Diana Amft in D'Artagnan Et Les Trois Mousquetaires
Stefania Rocca in D'Artagnan Et Les Trois Mousquetaires
Viva Wei Hua in Lethal Angels
LC's comments Re: The Breastford Wives.

"As my knowledge of softcore movies is below par, I credited the actresses like the end credits. They might use "more famous" names like Monique Parent for Dylan Bailey or Monica Sweetheart for Monica Rakocyova."

All of the following are from that film.

Glori-Anne Gilbert
Sara Maglaughlin
Dylan Bailey
Monica Rakocyova
Taylor Wayne
Barbie Bennett with Maglauglin and Gilbert
Barbie Bennett with Maglauglin and Wayne
Barbie Bennett with Wayne and Gilbert






'Caps and comments by The Gimp, who returns after a long absence:

Dear Uncle Scoopy-

Here are some hardcore captures of adult actresses who also do Skinemax movies.  Holly Hollywood is the nom de porn of Stacey Leigh Mobley.  The rest keep the one name for both genres.


Sunrise Adams in Naughty College Girls 20


Sunrise Adams in Young as they Come 2


Krystal Steal in Naughty College Girls 20


Krystal Steal in Young as they Come 3


Felix Vicious in Naughty College Girls 24


Felix Vicious in Young as they Come 4


Cheryl Dynasty in Naughty College Girls 20


Cheryl Dynasty in Young as they Come 1


Jeannie River in Little Lace Panties 3

Audrey Hollander in Biggz Beauties 8

Holly Hollywood in Biggz Beauties 8

Paige Turner in Biggz Beauties 8

Jenna Haze in Naughty College Girls 20

Shyla Styylez in Naughty College Girls 24

Anne Marie in Young as they Come 1

Carmen Luvana in Young as they Come 2

Desert Rose in Young as they Come 2

Cameron Cain in Young as they Come 8






Paris Hilton decides she needs some sun on her crotch

Two film clips from Rise. Cameron Richardson and Lucy Liu

The guy who posted these wrote, "Here are three very cool clips from Russian movies. For some clips you might need VP7 codec (find it all here, 1604 KB)." (Small sample captures to the right of each link.)

Aleksandra Kolkunova in ''Zona-mir v drugom izmereniy''

Anna Nazaryeva in ''Kumparsita"

Anna Tikhonova in ''Mili drug davno zabytikh let''

Moving West to France for two more clips ... (small samples to the right)

Victoria Abril and Josiane Belasko in Gazon Maudit

Claire Keim in The Girl

And two miscellaneous clips

Monique Gabrielle in Evil Toons. For a while there Monique filled an important niche in films. They called her whenever a director said, "OK, here's the scene where the guy sees some woman who really looks great naked ..."

Kristin Proctor in The Wire, season 2, episode 4