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Tuna
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Gang, here's an update on Tuna's condition. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is tuna@scoopy.com
My Condition...
It was the extreme shortness of breath that got my attention. I was admitted to the hospital in atrial fibrillation with a heart rate of 180. They rather quickly drained 1.4 liters of bloody fluid from my right lung. They have subjected me to dozens of tests, and ruled out many possible causes of this, but they still don't know what went wrong. I am still in atrial fibrillation, but with a heart rate under control using 3 drugs. I am home waiting for some of my medication to reach the proper level in my system, then I may have another hospital stay to try and convert my heart to normal rhythm.
I am able to spend some time at the computer, and am again reading my Email.
Tuna
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Haggard (2003)
This film is kind of a cross between Jackass: the Film and Freddy
Got Fingered, which is to say that it takes the Jackass/CKY guys and
places them into a fictional narrative. I have deduced from reading
the comments and watching a little bit of the "making of"
documentary that the fictional story is not all that fictional.
Apparently Ryan Dunn went through a bad experience with an
ex-girlfriend who was a chronic cheat, and this film is basically
just an exaggerated and embellished version of that relationship.
These guys do definitely have a hardcore youth following, but
grown-ups should probably stay away, because Haggard basically just
consists of guys acting like assholes, which can be funny even to
adults when it is spontaneous street theater, but is stripped of its
impact in a scripted piece. Because Haggard has a fairly traditional narrative
form, the film basically has the same weakness as Freddy
Got Fingered. Both Tom Green and the Jackass guys derive their humor
from doing outrageous things in public and provoking
spontaneous shock reactions from the random people who witness their
antics. The humor derives more from the reactions than from their
actions. The Jackass guys do things like placing one of their crew in
a body bag and dropping the body in a public dump in full view of
construction workers, or sticking
toy trucks up their assholes and going to a doctor to see what's
wrong. It can be funny to hear a medical man try to explain in
professional terms that a patient's problem is the result of a toy
truck up his butt, just as it can be fun to see Tom Green shave a
dead raccoon on live TV. Once those shenanigans are placed within a
fictional story, however, the humor is lost. The audience is no
longer watching other people react to street theater, but rather
watching actors pretend to react to street theater. That's
just not the same thing.
Especially when the actors are at this level of
competence.
The film does have plusses. You would expect it to
have some kick-ass music, and it does, but you would not really
expect it to look spectacular, and you'd be wrong on that count.
Amazingly enough, the photography in this film is outstanding. The
action scenes (mostly skateboarding) are shot and edited expertly,
and the entire film has a rich palette, using colored lighting and
exaggerated saturation to give the story a fairy tale aura. The IMDb ratings by age tell you
almost everything you need to
know:
Under 18 |
7.7 |
18-29 |
6.6 |
30-44 |
4.3 |
45+ |
not enough voters |
Even though Haggard scores a respectable 6.4
overall at IMDb, it scores only 4.6 with the most prolific voters,
and as you can see from the table above, it scores 4.3 with voters
aged 30 or more. The basic takeaway is that you may like these
juvenile antics if you are under 30, and you will be even more
likely to enjoy these goings-on if you are under 18.
Collages:
Videos from outside sources:
Other Crap:
-
FilmJerk's Early Report for July 3
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[TRAILER] : : : STEVE + SKY
- Steve is a not so bright small time crook/drug dealer
recently released from prison. Sky is a somewhat naive,
banana-split loving prostitute. After several chance encounters,
they finally officially meet through a mutual acquaintance -
Steve's ex cellmate. Their ensuing relationship is anything but
smooth as they both struggle to find their place in life. The
juxtaposition of the bleached reality of every day life with the
bright neon lights of the night reflects the ups and downs of
this young couple's stormy love affair.
-
The trailer for ON THE OUTS
- "On the Outs" is a dramatic narrative feature based upon the
real stories of girls from the streets and juvenile jail, who
lent their voices and unique stories to the filmmakers. These
are girls who struggle with all the highs and lows of teenage
life in an inner-city world that makes its own rules. The film
follows the lives of three central characters from the same
Jersey City neighborhood: Oz, 17, is a tough drug dealer with
her own corner and the street's respect, who struggles to keep
her family intact. Suzette, the sheltered 15 year old daughter
of a single mother, whose first teenage crush has life changing
repercussions, and Marisol, 17, a single mother who fights both
her own demons and the uncompromising world of foster care to
keep her child.
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The trailer for Chaos.
- "Possibly the most brutal film ever made, Chaos is a
cautionary tale of two teens who throw themselves into harms
way. Two girls, looking to score some ecstasy at a rave, follow
a young man to a house where terror awaits. There a gang of
felons capture and torment the girls drawing them into a
nightmare of violence."
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The Winnipeg Sun chooses The Top 10 brain-eating flicks of all
time.
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The 11 Greatest Americans...in Fantasy Entertainment.
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The 2005 MLB All-Star Rosters!
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When Pancakes Go Bad: Optical Delusions with Adobe Photoshop.
Chapter 1 - Six Degrees of 'Weird Al'
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The photographer calls this gallery "oddworld," and he ain't just
whistlin' Dixie.
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Weekend Box Office - July 1-3, 2005 - War of the Worlds chugs in
with $66m, which was the second best three-day July 4th
weekend of all time (behind Spidey 2). It should finish off its
full six-day (Wednesday through Monday) holiday weekend with
$120m.
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Missing comma sends wrong message in signs: "Say 'NO'
to Drugs from the NMB Police" (That's good advice. Always buy your
drugs from an authorized dealer.)
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Murder mystery online
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The wife carrying world championships take place in Finland this
weeekend. Has another year gone by so fast? Rodman was
supposed to be in this, but it seems that he didn't make it.
-
-
Google Maps weird stuff #2
Both are in the Nevada desert
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
links above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Brainscan
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'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
A little variety today from a real stinker of a movie called "Demonwarp". We have two "Babes in Bondage" in this one...scream queen Michelle Bauer goes topless while having her heart ripped out. She's joined by a topless Pamela Gilbert who is strapped down, but rescued. Sadly, the 'caps are not the best quality as they are from a very poor source.
- Michelle Bauer
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
- Pamela Gilbert
(1,
2,
3,
4)
Next up former porn star turned b-movie queen Ginger Lynn Allen in an equally bad movie "Mind, Body & Soul". Ginger shows her breasts in a
love scene. In the final 'cap she is a "Babe in Bondage", but fully clothed.
- Ginger Lynn Allen
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
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Crimson Ghost
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
A little variety from the Ghost today....
First up, UK actress Patsy Kensit going topless (long before her implants) in scenes from "Lethal Weapon 2".
- Patsy Kensit
(1,
2)
- Patsy Kensit zipped .wmvs
(1,
2)
Kelly Lynch briefly shows a bit of breast as well as one of her long, nekkid legs while lying in bed with 'Fat Tony' in a scene from "Persons Unknown" (1996).
Last up, here is Melanie Griffith topless while gettin' it on with Michael Douglas in "Shining Through."
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Dann
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"7 Seconds"
This 2005 direct-to-video action/thriller is half of a pretty good movie.
A veteran thief plans an armored-car robbery, but at the end as he is taking the money, he's hit by another gang that takes his loot. During the confusion, he winds up with a case containing.....he doesn't know.
Turns out the case contains a priceless Van Gogh, and some very bad people want it back. Even worse, they've snatched his partner/lover and they don't mind hurting her to get their point across.
Lots of action and some really good car chases highlight this flick. It is set in Bucharest, Romania, which is where it was filmed, and the car chases through the narrow streets are very effective.
The movie also had an interesting and twisty ending, so my main problem with it is the unevenness. Between the action, the movie really drags, so that we wind up with a lot of good movie interspersed with some really boring filler. Still, Wesley Snipes does a good job in these kinds of movies, and despite the flaws, it is worth watching.
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Variety
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Kelly LeBrock
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
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The former Mrs. Steven Seagal and star of one of the best movies from the 80's, "Weird Science". Here she is showing off her great legs as well as giving us a very brief view of her breasts and bush in these 'caps by Mr. Nude Celeb from "The Woman in Red" (1984).
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Darcy DeMoss
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
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Starbase 'caps of the 80's and 90's B-movie regular in scenes from the softcore cable series "Eden". She bares breasts and bum in girl-on-dude and girl-on-girl scenes.
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Rachael Crawford
(1,
2,
3,
4)
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Vejiita 'caps of the Canadian actress baring her breasts in a dark, lesbian love scene from "When Night Is Falling" (1995).
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Kim Dickens
(1,
2)
Rhona Mitra
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
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The Skin-man takes a look at "Hollow Man", Paul Verhoeven's 2000 interpretation of "The Invisible Man", starring Kevin Bacon and Elisabeth Shue. Both ladies look great topless.
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A quick site note
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Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!
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