"The Deep"

The Deep (1977) is an underwater thriller staring Jacqueline Bisset and Nick Nolte, with Louis Gossett as the villain. Bissett and Nolte are vacationing in the Bahamas and diving for buried treasures in the wrecks. When they dive on a wreck not mentioned in the maps, they find two things -- a very old Spanish medallion, and a small glass vial. The medallion doesn't elicit much interest, but the glass vial is another story entirely. Seems it is from The Goliath, a military ship full of ordinance, and a fortune in morphine. Gossett wants the morphine. Nolte and Bissett solicit the help of a local expert (Robert Shaw), and the three discover a second wreck under The Goliath. They uncover jewelry, but it is of little value unless they can prove that it is really authentically old from ship's records. Shaw convinces Gossett that he will partner with him for the morphine, but plans on blowing it up.

Bissett spends the entire opening credits and the first 10 minutes of this film in a wet T-shirt, first underwater and later on their boat. Her breasts are clearly visible. The film is a little tedious during the underwater sequences, but is a pretty good yarn. It is beautifully photographed, and the DVD contains both a full and widescreen version. IMDb readers have it at 5.8 of 10. This film practically invented the wet Tshirt, and put one of the most beautiful women of the day into it. The movie is watchabl3e for genre fans, but would have needed a little more pace and a little more suspense to have broader appeal. This is a C.

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  • Jacqueline Bisset (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 51, 52)

    "Death Ride to Osaka"

    Death Ride to Osaka (1983), aka Girls of the White Orchid, is taken from a story writer Tom Allard wrote inspired by what happened to his girlfriend. She answered an add to perform in Japan, and ended up in a Yakuza whore house as a white slave. Jennifer Jason Leigh plays the girl. The conflict is that she refuses to go along with the sex. Others that have resisted have been sent on a Death Ride to Osaka. She licks out in two regards. First, the son of the Yakuza boss likes her, and second, her boyfriend drops out of the Air Force academy and comes looking for her.

    The film evidently had a short theatrical release with the nudity removed, and then the full version was released to cable and video. We have breast exposure from Jennifer Jason Leigh, Yvonne McCord and an unknown performer. They cast non-Japanese Asians in many key roles. This wouldn't have been so bad, but they were speaking broken Japanese, with no dubbing or subtitles. Some of the Caucasian actresses were pretending to speak Japanese, but were actually just making up words. I can't help but think that, with this cast, and starting with this true story, they could have made an excellent film. Unfortunately, they chose to make a low budget crime/drama. This really never builds any tension, and is entirely predictable. D+.

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  • Jennifer Jason Leigh (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Yvonne McCord (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.




    (Not from Shiloh )

    • Former anchorwoman Andrea Thompson - full frontal nudity - in A Gun, A Car, A Blonde. An unrespected nothing of a movie that Tuna and I both loved. (.wmv - zip) Here's the review

    • I love this scene. Ashley Judd as Marilyn Monroe in Norma Jean & Marilyn. In the full screen version, there is even some pubic hair from AJ.   (.wmv - zip)



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by PAL:

    Lisa Boyle Showing off her wonderful toplessness in "Alien Terminator".

    Franziska Walser The German actress topless in "Bekenntnisse des Hochstaplers Felix Krull", you really don't want me to translate this, do you? It's like "The Story of Felix, the Con Man".

    Monique Mercure In scenes from "Naked Lunch". According to IMDb she was over 60 when she did this scene and for a long time I was very irresolute about doing this image or not.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Part 1 of the Ghost's coverage of the Skinemax flick "Fast Lane to Malibu".

    The Ghost adds the following comment...

    While this movie does have lots of naked women, it lacks the commitment to excellence of "Fast Lane to Vegas."

    Fist up, Devinn Lane going topless and also showing pubes in a pseudo sex scene. Robo-boobs everywhere, pubes in image links 4,5,6,11 and 17. Vids 2 and 3 also show breasts and bush.

    Next up, two Skinemax regulars show up for some guy/girl and girl/girl lovin'.

    In the images...Reed gives up a thong view in #1, but the rest feature her all naturals only. Fritz shows a little bum in #1 and gets felt up by Kira in #2. But mostly we see robo-boobs.

    In the vids...#1 kicks things off with Reed and Fritz making out. In #2-4 they bring in the dudes for the pseudo-sex. Fritz briefly shows some pubes.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Cold Mountain"
    Towards the end of the Civil war, an often-wounded soldier tries to make his way home to his sweetheart. To make his journey harder, the local law, made up of men who avoided going to fight, and called the "Home Guard", are treating every soldier who returns home as a deserter, and shooting them.

    This 2003 movie based on the novel by Charles Frazier is an excellent movie, although it has a couple of minor flaws. My main complaint is that the first part of the movie gets very draggy. In their attempt to paint deep character portraits, the pace slows and gets close to boring, but as things pick up, the movie consumes the watcher. The battle scenes, of which there are several, are horrific but realistic.

    Another minor complaint is that in a brief nude scene, Melora Walters obviously has implants, which looks a little silly in a Civil War film.

    Overall, the story is a well-done look at the life and times during the Civil War, the acting is outstanding, and the ending is poignant and sad. This is a must-see movie.

    Tara Reid
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The "American Pie" pie co-star and Hollywood party girl showing off a few acres of robo-cleavage while out on the town. From the look in on her face in the fist couple of pics...I'd say she's getting trashed.

    Mia Zottoli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    aka Ava Lake. Señor Skin 'caps of the busty B-actress topless in scenes from "Rolling Kansas". An indie comedy written and directed by Thomas Haden Church...better known to many as Lowell from "Wings".