Salon Kitty (1976) -- day two. Lets start with the plot tonight. An egotistical SS officer on the eve of WW2 is charged with opening a cat house with women he personally recruits to entertain German officers, and report any signs of bad attitudes. He builds a new facility with snooping devices, recruits women from all over Germany, with the most important criteria being loyalty to the Fuhrer, and gives them tryouts and special training. He then closes the most popular house in Berlin, Salon Kitty, on a flimsy excuse, but makes Madam Kitty a one time good deal. He will let her manage the facility he has built, but with his women.
Kitty knows nothing about the spying aspects, and sets about training the women to be good hookers. One of them, played by Theresa Ann Savoy, falls for a customer, and doesn't report him when he decides to defect. Of course, the SS does him in based on the tapes, and she vows revenge. The film might be called a musical, in that many scenes take place with a lively piano accompaniment, and Madam Kitty sings several torch songs. The set design is interesting, start to finish. I will let the images speak for themselves, other than to say that Savoy is lovely, is naked for most of the film, and shows every inch of her body.
IMDB readers have this at 4.1 of 10. The film is 124 minutes, and rated X, but is not a hard core, although it gets rather close at times. This film gets the highest possible grade for this genre, C+. It has a plot, decent acting, impressive music, great visuals, more tits than a Girls Gone Wild video, and more bush than Australia.
Theresa Ann Savoy
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Guilty as Sin (1993):
When film enthusiasts debate the great screen
actors, Don Johnson's name is rarely mentioned, but I doubt if
Kenneth Branagh or Robert DeNiro could have done any more with this
schlocky thriller than Johnson did. The role required smooth,
stunning looks, smug self-centeredness, insincerity, and the heart
of a snake masked by a thin patina of sexy and superficial charm.
You might say Johnson was born to play this part. I don't know
anything about what Mr Johnson is really like, but when it comes to
his screen persona, Johnson is to snaky insincerity as Robin
Williams is to gooey sentiment, and he has a special type of
ophidian charm different from that exhibited by similar actors. Hugh
Grant, for example, plays "insincere and shallow" with the best of
them, but we always suspect that beneath his superficial,
womanizing, immature persona there is a nice person at the core, one
who masks his innate vulnerability with his quips and his aloof
facade. There is no such indication with Johnson's characters. We
suspect that beneath his serpentine exterior is a real serpent.
Johnson plays a gigolo who is accused of killing his
incredibly rich wife. Still being sought by police, he strolls
boldly into a brilliant female lawyer's office and cajoles her into
defending him. She believes in his innocence at first, but as she
progresses through the case, she realizes that Johnson is guilty,
and is some kind of dangerous psychotic who kills women when he's
finished with them. Worst of all, she sees that she is setting
herself up to be his next target. She tries to resign as his lawyer,
but the process is so far along that the court orders her to stay
and provide the best defense possible. Ostensibly, she does, but
behind the scenes she calculates how the crime was committed and
recreates the evidence Johnson has destroyed. Johnson is floored
when the police find evidence that he knows he destroyed, but when
he thinks it through, he deduces exactly what has happened, because
there is an incorrect detail in the physical evidence, forcing the
conclusion that the evidence is manufactured, not discovered. Not
having been there, the lawyer was not able to think through every
little detail, and her mistake leads Johnson to realize where the
evidence must have come from, and to formulate a counter-plan.
The suspense in the movie is from the cat and mouse
game played by the lawyer (Rebecca DeMornay) and Johnson, each of
whom must constantly try to think a step ahead of the other, or die.
If she hopes to stay alive, DeMornay has a lot of catching up to do,
since it turns out that Johnson has been planning the entire
sequence of events for years, including her own participation.
Although it is a typical A-list Hollywood courtroom
thriller with contrived plotting and characterizations (5.4 at IMDb)
and is largely forgotten after only a decade, it is certainly slick
enough. This film was directed by the great Sydney Lumet who, for
the thirty years from 1959 to 1988, directed some of the most
important American films, including two of the greatest courtroom
dramas (12 Angry Men, and The Verdict). Lumet has three films in the
IMDb Top 250.
- (8.59) -
12 Angry Men (1957)
(#24 of all time!)
- (7.99) -
Dog Day Afternoon
- (7.99) -
- (7.77) -
- (7.72) -
Long Day's Journey Into
- (7.57) -
Verdict, The (1982)
- (7.54) -
Hill, The (1965)
- (7.48) -
- (7.43) -
Pawnbroker, The (1964)
- (7.27) -
Running on Empty (1988)
- (7.19) -
Prince of the City
- (6.99) -
Murder on the Orient
- (6.69) -
- (6.66) -
- (6.61) -
Deadly Affair, The
- (6.56) -
Offence, The (1973)
- (6.40) -
Anderson Tapes, The
- (6.32) -
Kind, The (1959)
Guilty as Sin is rated 30th of Lumet's 35 graded
films. (For trivia buffs, The Wiz is rated lowest.)
If you are wondering why Guilty as Sin
isn't better with Lumet behind it, well, look no farther than some
of the other scripts from screenwriter Larry Cohen:
While Guilty as Sin was a career
lapse for Lumet, it was on Cohen's highlight reel. Lumet has never
directed any film rated below 4.6, but Cohen has written 16 below
5.0, including all the It's Alive films and all the Maniac Cop
films. Astoundingly, Cohen scripted a film rated 7.6 (Phone Booth)
in 2002, despite never having scripted a film rated higher than 6.2
in his previous forty years in the industry.
This film is a
C by our system. Typical Hollywood formula suspense story, in which
one-dimensional characters often do things contrary to their own
self-interest, simply because the script requires them to do so. It
is watchable because of Sydney Lumet's direction and Don Johnson's
oily "man you love to hate" portrayal.
No nudity at all.
Ten Days' Wonder (1972):
Ten Days' Wonder is a mystery film from "the French
Hitchcock", Claude Chabrol.
All I can say is Roger Corman should have been French. Instead of
being considered a grade-b schlockmeister, he'd be known as The
The story begins with
Norman Bates, an aspiring sculptor, waking up in a Paris hotel room
with blood on his hands and no memory of the previous four days.
Desperate for help, he calls his old university philosophy professor
and asks him to lend an analytical eye to his life, to help him
determine if he is a killer, or insane, or both, or neither.
The professor accepts an invitation to the lavish
country estate where Norman grew up. Norman's dad (Orson Welles) is
approximately the richest man on the planet, and during his years in
the French countryside, he chose to alleviate his loneliness by
raising two orphan children whom he found. Orson raised the children
together as brother and sister, then adopted the orphan boy as his
son, and the orphan girl as ... his wife. Thus was the little
girl suddenly promoted from Norman's sibling to his stepmother.
Norman Bates has already confessed to the
professor that he has had an ongoing affair with his
stepsister/stepmother, and that he is being blackmailed by a
mysterious stranger who will tell ol' Orson about the affair unless
he gets some substantial sums in cash. Norman is afraid that if
Orson finds out about the affair, he will take drastic action
against the lovers, and this might even include serving wine before
The professor doesn't really care if all
these people kill and swindle each other but, as a Frenchman, he can't allow the
wine desecration, so he agrees to attempt to piece together the mystery
during his time at the estate, trying to determine the mystery of
the bloody hands as well as the identity of the blackmailer.
Essentially, the film is a four character stage
play based upon an Ellery Queen story. Ellery Queen is the pseudonym
of two New York authors (Frederic Dannay and Manfred Lee, for you
trivia buffs) whose mysteries became the basis of many movies and TV
series. Unfortunately, instead of playing out like a mystery, this
story unravels as a Greek Tragedy with Orson as Zeus and his
"children" taking up various mythological themes. (For example,
there is the obvious Oedipus/Electra element, and the symbol of
Orson's head on the statue of Jupiter which Norman Bates is carving
and eventually destroys.)
Ol' Norman acts stranger in this film than in he did Psycho or
Crimes of Passion, and he wears one of the strangest wardrobes ever
conceived. According to one of Orson's pompous speeches, they all
seek to remain permanently frozen in 1928, so Norman runs around in
his best Gatsby clothing. More accurately, he dressed as Gatsby
would have dressed if he had been a flaming queen. Welles himself
wears those same plus-sized bow ties that he would later seem to
wear on every talk show in America, as if he truly just stepped out
of his Paul Masson commercials. For some inexplicable reason, Welles
wore a false nose even though he was, in all other respects, simply
just being Orson Welles. I can't fathom why he did that, since it
was not very different from his own nose, but the truly
uncomfortable part of it is that the nose was green (pictured
Director Claude Chabrol has a great reputation, but
whatever talent he had was rarely on display in this film. The
atmosphere is drab, the pacing glacial, and a sense of smooth narrative
is completely missing. It's such a dull movie that my mind kept
wandering, and I had to go back over scenes to pick up on missing
details. There are three or four sudden plot twists during the
denouement and explanation of the mystery, and that solution was
actually fairly clever, but in order to get to that point in the
film, you'd really have to want to. What little forward movement the
film has is weighted down with the slow pace and gravitas of
classical drama, incredibly slow and breathy line recitations by
Orson, heavy-handed symbolism, Biblical allusions, and pretentious
Chabrol is not wowing us at the Fun House. Tuna reviewed
"Innocents With Dirty Hands" a few days ago, and despised it. I
watched "The Unfaithful Wife" last week, and couldn't even come up
with a reason to talk about it, other than it was remade as
Unfaithful with Diane Lane.
I must say, however, that Ten Days' Wonder is your Holy Grail if
you've always dreamed of seeing Norman Bates's bumhole and nutsack.
And who hasn't?
In addition to Norman's hairy bum, you can also see Marlene
Jobert's bottom, and a brief glimpse at one of her breasts.
Snake Eater III (1992):
Say what you want about those artistic mofo's like Atom Egoyan
and Don McKellar, but the Snake Eater series represents the very
zenith of Canadian cinema. As you have undountedly deduced from the
title, this movie was the third of three in the Snake Eater series.
The Snake Eaters are an elite Marine Corps unit, and Lorenzo Lamas
used to be one of them.
Now he's a cop, but he doesn't always do things by the book ...
... blah, blah, blah
... turn in badge and gun
... damsel in distress
... army of bikers with very polite Canadian accents (Hey, OK,
maybe he's out there, eh?), and automatic weapons
... one colorful sidekick and some heavy equipment from a
... blah, blah, blah
One of the key bad bikers was played by wrestler Bam-Bam Bigelow.
My theory is that they placed him in so many scenes with Lamas to
make it seem that Lamas was a decent actor.
Fundamentally, these Snake Eater films are the Canadian
equivalent of Charles Bronson movies, with plenty of vigilante
justice, except that Lamas acts more like Burt Reynolds than
Bronson. He's a good looking guy, makes plenty of sarcastic remarks
and sees plenty of naked women.
I hate to admit it, but I enjoyed this movie in a real guilty
pleasure kind of way. The filmmakers don't take this stuff
seriously, and the film moves quickly with plenty of action and
humor and nudity. I'd love to give it an F or something, but I have
to be honest and say it's a C-, a film which you can enjoy if you're
into seeing Burt Reynolds crossbred with Charles Bronson.
- The Honte's Swedish and International Nudity site is updated
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
How goes it?
Here are the caps I made from Rascal Flatt's video "I Melt", the
first country music video to show nudity. (1
While they carefully
kept any naughty bits from showing (of course, but it's a start!),
there is some good stuff. Unfortunately the total nude stuff was
in a dark, dark room. I have made adjustments to my video card to
try to capture those better the next time around. I will send
those on to you when I have them done tomorrow sometime. In the
meantime, here are some caps from the video!
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
First up today, 'caps of Jeanie Bell & Susan McIver topless in 1974's "Policewomen".
Next, we have a "Babe in Bondage"...Renee Rae in "Watchful Eye", Sadly no nudity tho.
'Caps and comments by RDO:
Happy 4th to y'all! Here's the latest from the Naked News...
Last but not least, a couple of 'caps from Justine Bateman's topless appearance on the Showtime series "Out Of Order".
- Justine Bateman
'Caps and comments by PAL:
Not a lot of nudity, but I liked the movie. 'Caps from "Saving Silverman"
||C2000 'caps of the very young actress topless in scenes from "The Good Thief" (2002), directed by Crying Game director, Neil Jordan.
||A Gman collage of the former UK Big Brother contestant showing off her big'uns on the Aussie version of the show.
|Both ladies bare all in scenes from "Me and Will" (1998). Not only did they star, but they also co-wrote co-produced and co-directed this indie flick. Some IMDb reader comments call it a female version of "Easy Rider" and one of the best indie flicks to come out in a while. Others just said "it sucked".
For those interested, The Apollo movie guide says: "Patterned after Easy Rider, Me & Will takes a few pages from Thelma and Louise, Drugstore Cowboy and Leaving Las Vegas. What it pieces together is passable, albeit unoriginal."
I haven't seen it, I'm going to go out on a limb and say these 'caps by Señor Skin are probably the only thing worth the price of the rental.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
A few quickies from Ananova. Sorry, no pics for first one.
New shaver helps women shape up
An electric shaver especially designed for shaving pubic hair into different shapes has gone on sale in Britain.
Remington hopes the Bikini Trim and Shape will prove a hit with the growing number of women who want to be a little more creative.
Nell strips off to look like Ursula
Nell McAndrew has dressed up like Ursula Andress in the Bond film Dr No to promote a sandwich spread.