Claudia Schiffer Soaking wet...from the Italian edition of GQ magazine.
Sara Cox British DJ, Sara Cox from the current issue of Ministry magazine.
X-Babes Rebecca Romijn, Halle Berry, and Famke Jansen from the new issue of US Maxim.
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos More promotion for "X-Men". A very sexy pic for the leg men out there!
WhyScan's Page Three Report
If Page Three is unfamiliar to you, this link describes the Page Three tradition.
Today's Page 3 girl....Victoria, 20, from Grays Thurrock, Essex. Bizarre really, photo 4 is the sexiest I've seen in the Sun for ages and you can't see anything! (1, 2, 3, 4)
Last one is a Vanessa Williams pic, and to quote the text from the article, "Wow".
Janet Jackson
1, 2, 3)
Tons of cleavage from Janet's "I Get Lonely Video"
Vanessa Angel
1, 2)
Two FR-Tuna collaborations of Vanessa from "Kingpin".
Catherine Oxenberg
1, 2, 3)
As as stripper, and a convict in 'caps from "Time Served"
Catherine Zeta Jones
1, 2)
A little cleavage and some nice leg stuff in vidcaps from an Alfa Romeo commercial.
Anna Kournikova
1, 2, 3, 4)
Various action shots for the fans featuring the usual skin tight tops and upskirts.
Sadie Frost A nice collage of topless 'caps from "Flypaper"
Lucy Liu Comments by Don:
Damn hard scene to capture!
The Funnies
Submitted by a Fun House viewer:
I saw this on Lorissa McComas's member's site and thought you might get a kick out of it. The following is the description and photo of the box.

Lorissa Love Doll
Personally signed by Lorissa. Life-like, ultra soft incredibly realistic doll with Futurotic vagina, anus, mouth and soft realistic skin. Real-life full mannequin head, erotically noduled mouth and a firm butt. Sensually scented. Includes removable vibrating bullet.
$ 200.00
Options: Lipstick Kiss by Lorissa (+ $3.00)
Lorissa McComas Love Doll

Top 10 other important issues protested by French farmers
  • Our income needs to be determined by our opinions, not by whether people actually prefer our stringy natural grass-fed beef.
  • Rename them damned greasy things "Belgian Fries"
  • Why do you call it a "French" kiss? It can't be French if there are no genitals involved.
  • Send back that Statue of Liberty. We're sorry we ever gave it to you. And send back those tired, and those huddled masses yearning to breathe free. You can keep the poor.
  • C'mon, be honest, tell the world that Pepe le Pew is really from Quebec.
  • We don't really like Jerry Lewis that much. Only his early stuff. Like that bellhop role, ho-ho-ho. We laugh just to think of it now, so much that we cannot hold up our protest signs, or even keep the cigarettes dangling from our lower lips.
  • We insist all foreign influences be removed from French MTV. Make it all Hallyday, all the time.
  • Americans must learn that Edith Piaf never invented any rice dishes.
  • Why can't we have one of those Great Walls like China?
  • We hereby withdraw all these anti-American protests if the Germans invade.

  • Members Bonuses

    a Working links in the members' page, text-only in the AdultCheck version

    "Rising Sun", (1993) from Johnny Web

    I learned many valuable cultural lessons from this movie, and I thought I would share them with you.

    1. American culture must obey the same laws as the Federation in StarTrek. It must assume the sociological premise that all cultures are inherently equal, and never try to impose its values upon others. In fact, it must assume that American culture is inherently inferior. For example, when Americans visit Japan, they must do a lot of bowing and shoe-removing and hand over their business cards with two hands. They must also speak very softly and move their arms and hands very minimally, so as not to offend those delicate Japanese sensibilities and traditions. Conversely, when Japanese come here ..... oops - it doesn't work in reverse. They still do everything their way. Only Americans are expected to change.

      I once caused a great cultural embarassment in my company when we had some visitors from Japan. Their senior man handed me his business card in the Japanese fashion - two hands, slight bow. I said something like "when I visted your facilities in Japan, I took great care to show respect for your traditions. Now that you are here, I see that you do not hand me your business card with one hand while shaking my hand with the other. I can only assume that you do not reciprocate the respect I have shown you and therefore dishonor me and my culture". My colleagues were absolutely horrified, and I think they expected not only to lose the account but to have to clean up after a ritual suicide or two. The Japanese CEO just smiled and said, "in all the years we've dealt with Americans, you're the first guy who ever saw through the bullshit". What a great laugh these guys get watching Americans jump through hoops for them, and what an innate cynicism, bordering on sadism, they mask by their aura of politesse.

    2. You also learn from Rising Sun that the older the culture, the more wise. Let's presume that you are an American/Swiss medical team working in someplace primitive like an equitorial rainforest or Borneo or Kentucky or someplace like that. You stumble upon an undiscovered tribe that has a life-expectancy of about 20 because they subsist entirely on eating rabid raccoons, as their ancestors have for 4000 years. Should you impose your new-fangled 20th century ideas on them? Absolutely not. America has only 300 years of significant history on this planet, and even Switzerland's milennium is a drop in the historical bucket. The stone age tribesman have an older culture, and are therefore wiser. Instead, you should begin eating rabid raccoons and hand them your business card with two hands.
    3. Lesson Three: don't try to mess with the Japanese in any way. Don't go to American law enforcement officials, because they are all owned by the Japanese. Oh, you may find some honest individual cops, but their superiors are bought and paid for. Don't go to the newspaper reporters, because they are almost all owned by the Japanese. The ones that aren't will be fired by their editors, who are themselves bought and paid for. I don't even have to mention all US senators and representatives. let's just say you have no choices. Just do what they want.
    4. Lesson Four: strangely enough, the only weakness of the Japanese is their martial arts. An old geezer and a street-wise ex-ballplayer cop can kick the asses of 10 ultraviolent Yakuza tough guys.
    5. Lesson Five: US senators will lie to your face about anything, no matter how blatant the lie. But when they are confronted with physical evidence of their past misdoings, they break down and cry while their wives commit instant suicide.
    6. Lesson Six: when a street-educated black guy speaks fluent Japanese one minute, the very next minute he will say something ignorant like "sempei - apple pie, whatever you want me to call you"
    7. Lesson Seven: if you are being chased by a group of ultraviolent japanese thugs, always travel with a black guy. Then you can drive through a violent black 'hood, consort with the leading brothers, and the black community will join hands to terrorize the Japanese thugs who are trailing you.

    Actually, it's a shame that all these details are so poorly handled, because the concept really had potential. A murder investigation is difficult to handle because it is intertwined with Japanese-American trade negotiations and various cultural and diplomatic niceties. In addition, Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes were well cast as the two investigators, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa gave a nuanced performance as the playboy who is more than he seems to be, and there were plenty of elegant and well-conceived scenes. But the killer is in the details, and the filmmakers messed them up badly. The Snipes character was inconsistently written, and the minor characters (the Buscemi reporter, the pompous senator, the yuppie working for the Japanese) were cartoons. Some other characters existed only as implausible one-dimensional melodrama, e.g. the senator's wife who appeared only to commit suicide, and Snipes' wife who was only a disembodied voice of irrational carping.

    'Tis a shame, because they might have had something here, but they blew it.

    The nudity from Tatjana Patitz has been captured frequently in the past, but the scene with Shelley Michelle (the top body double in Hollywood for many years)and Tylyn John was a lot of fun and has not been so well traveled upon the net. Tia Carrere looked the best she's ever looked, but no flesh forthcoming, as usual.

    By the way, the DVD is a decent widescreen (1.85) print, but there are absolutely no extras on the disk except trailers for this movie and Entrapment (??). Strictly bare bones.

    Tatjana Patitz (1, 2, 3, 4) Shelley Michelle (1, 2, 3) Tylyn John (1, 2, 3)

    "La Bicyclette Bleue", (1999) from Johnny Web

    This is a special review from my good buddy, The New York Guy. "You want a review? I'll give you yer fokkin' review right here. Yeah, here, take a closer look. Review this: Laetitia Casta naked."

    Laetitia (1, 2, 3)

    "Deadly Weapons" from Tuna

    Deadly Weapons (1980) is classic exploitation featuring Chesty Morgan (as Zsa Zsa). The cast includes adult star Harry Reemes sporting the biggest moustache I have ever seen him with. Chesty's boyfriend is double-crossing his mobster boss, who has him killed. Chesty hears the murder on the phone, and vows revenge. She suffocates the murderers with her 73 inch assets. If that sounds like too little material for a plot, you are right. Chesty can't act, has a grating voice, has some trouble walking because she is so top-heavy, and has a real hard time sitting up. Image 1 could be subtitled "Why I Hate Pantyhose," and image 2 shows her using her weapons. The rest of the images are all chest -- er -- Chesty.

    Thumbnials Chesty Morgan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    "Halloween II" from Tuna

    Halloween II is somewhat unusual as a sequel, as it picks up exactly where Halloween left off. Those cast members that survived the slash-feste in Halloween I are back. Michael has fled with six bullet holes in him, and they take Laurie to the hospital while the manhunt is on for Michael. It is no surprise to me that nobody is safe in the hospital -- statistically, more people die in a hospital than any other place. This sequel is a little slow in places, but has some very frightening visuals, more suspense, and more sudden shocks. Michael was also much more creative at doing people in. In addition to butchering, he mastered surgical incisions, lethal injection, par-boiling and hammering the message home. I am certain that the script for both one and two were written together, as it could easily be a single film. Written and produced by John Carpenter and Virginia Hill, they hired Rick Rosenthal to direct this sequel. Rick did a good job of continuing the style of the first.

    The exposure is provided by a nurse at the hospital, who disrobes to have a steamy session in a therapy bath with her boyfriend. Things unfortunately come to a quick boil. The nurse is played by veteran character actress Pamela Susan Shoop, who was a great-looking 33 at the time. This is her only known exposure, even though she has 61 credits for film and TV on IMDB. The entire film is dark, shot outside at night and in darkened hospital halls. I am pleased with the results considering the darkness of the scene.

    Thumbnials Pamela Susan Shoop (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Members Bonus

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