Some more great film clips:
This zipped .avi
is the great sex scene between Billy Bob Thornton and
Halle Berry in the role that won Halle her Oscar in the
ambitious and depressing drama, Monster's Ball.. (Movie
Speaking of depressing, here are two zipped .avis (1,
nudity at the end of each) of Lena Olin
in another serious movie, which I have been more or less avoiding,
called Enemies: A Love Story. It's probably a pretty good movie.
It was directed by Paul Mazursky from a novel written by Nobel Prize
laureate Isaac Bashevis Singer. The plot description will tell you
that it's not exactly the feel-good hit of the past millennium:
"Set in 1949 New York, a Holocaust survivor (Ron Silver) who makes
a living as a ghostwriter for a Jewish rabbi, finds himself
involved with three women - his current wife (Margaret Sophie
Stein), a passionate affair with a married woman (Lena Olin), and
his long-vanished wife (Anjelica Huston) whom he thought was
killed during the war and suddenly reappears. The film
concentrates on the views of the Jewish survivors, who no longer
abide by religious morals and question a God who could let the
Holocaust occur." I will get to it one of these days, when I'm
feeling fortified against depression by plenty of riboflavin.
Whatever that is.
and Keanu Reeves in The Prince of Pennsylvania. (Zipped
reviewed this about a week ago, and wrote, "This is a 'rebellious
youth' comedy set in a mining town in Pennsylvania. Ruport (Keanu
Reeves) dropped out of high school, because he just didn't fit in.
He is not very happy to be living at home, but then how could he
be? He's a high school drop-out, his mother (Bonnie Bedelia) is
sleeping with her husband's best friend, and his father makes no
effort at all to relate to him. The only person Ruport does relate
to is a local hippy (Amy Madigan), the owner of a seedy drive-in.
He fancies himself in love with her. He concocts a scheme to
kidnap his dad and force the sale of some property to a mining
company, then take the money and run away with Madigan. As you
might imagine, things don't quite work out as planned. Roger Ebert
was highly incensed that they took honest, hard-working characters
and legitimate acting talent and put them into such a silly plot.
Critics were uniformly unkind. While I did get a chuckle or two, I
have to agree. The plot was rather far-fetched to begin with, and
the development and details made it worse, not better. This is a
zipped .wmv is a VERY brief flash of
Franka Potente in Blueprint. (Sample capture below in Catch
o' the Day)
This zipped .avi
is Zita Gorog in Den of Lions. (You
also saw her flawless body naked in the straight-to-vid sequel to
8MM.) See the review and collages below. This is, by a wide
margin, the best two minutes of the film.
Den of Lions (2003)
Den of Lions is a modestly budgeted straight-to-vid espionage
thriller set in Eastern Europe, of the type that usually star Steven
Seagal or Wesley Snipes. In this case the star is Stephen Dorff, the
second-tier Kiefer Sutherland, and he
is an American agent working undercover to infiltrate the Russian mob
in Budapest. Making the job really complicated is the fact that
the undercover agent falls in love with the daughter (Laura Fraser) of
the mob's kingpin (Bob Hoskins).
America get involved? Well, it seems that those crazy mobsters are not
just pushing prostitution and drugs this month, but are having a
Veteran's Day sale on weapons of mass destruction as well. They've
figured out a way to obtain a nuclear weapon through their connections
in the former Red Army, and plan to sell it to Middle Eastern
Candidly, the film isn't
very tight or suspenseful. It begins with a long car chase which is
virtually irrelevant to the rest of the movie. Following that is a
period of narration in which Stephen Dorff tells us the back-story
about the development of the Russian mob in Budapest, as related in
the manner of a typical Dragnet introduction - "I was working the day-watch out of bunco" - with a little bit of Sam Spade thrown in - "It
was a cold night in a cold town. It was black, but nothing is every
really black or white." While we hear about the agent's personal
history and the history of the mob boss, some vaguely related visuals
show us around Budapest a bit. All of that is followed by a sub-plot
which lasts almost an hour, in which the agent convinces the kingpin's
daughter to free a woman who was separated from her family and
kidnapped into involuntary prostitution. All of that doesn't make for
very compelling story-telling, and tends to distract from the real
point of the film, which is the nuclear threat. Unfortunately, when
all the back-story and sub-plots are finally concluded, the story
gears up, but all it has to offer is the usual staple diet of the
genre: gunfights and chase scenes.
Hoskins still stars in plenty of good movies. Just last year he made
Danny the Dog and Mrs Henderson Presents, in which he played very
different roles, both very professionally, as always. The fact that he
occasionally appears in crap like Son of the Mask, Maid in Manhattan,
and Den of Lions is not scaring me yet, but I hope that Hoskins,
always a personal favorite, is not yet getting ready to join the Ben
Kingsley Club of actors who never pre-read their scripts as long as
the paycheck meets their requirements.
The most entertaining part of the film's denouement is a long bit of
completely gratuitous nudity from the gorgeous Hungarian actress Zita
Gorog. When the mobster's house/headquarters is finally besieged by
the Hungarian police, with only a few minutes left in the film, Gorog
(playing, I suppose, a gypsy prostitute) is sleeping inside, wearing
only a tiny thong. As the gun battle begins, she gets out of bed and
wanders around the house in that state of nudity, ostensibly
drugged-out, until she finds the mobster's lifeless corpse, which she
proceeds to strip of valuables! She was naked for about two minutes of
running time, and I don't think she had any lines! She does have a
spectacular body. To be honest, I don't know if I should even call
that scene gratuitous because, although it was certainly irrelevant to
the development of the plot, and came in out of left field, it did add
some interesting texture which the film generally
lacked in other scenes. Let's just call it a guilty pleasure, and just
about the only pleasure in the film.
Unfortunately, viewers have to wait about 90 minutes for it!
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare (1987)
Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare (1987), aka The Edge of Hell, is a low budget
horror offering from Canada by Jon-Mikl Thor, who claims in a DVD special
interview that it is a cult classic with a huge fan base. Comments at IMDb do
tend to support this, but Thor glossed over the reason why his film is much
beloved. All of the appreciative fans who have left positive comments loved
the fact that it is so bad it is good.
The apparent plot is as follows. A family is devoured in their house by an
oven creature. Ten years later, we follow a van on the highway for ten minutes
of screen time to find out that a metal hair band called Triton has rented the
oven creature's abode to rehearse and record their next album free of
distractions. Well, free of most distractions. They do bring their girl
friends with them. Hey, they're rock stars. The band's leader is named John
Triton, who is played by none other than the director, Jon-Mikl Thor. No
sooner do they take up quarters in the house than hand puppets start killing
them, beginning with any women that show their breasts. Turns out the oven
creature was actually an oven mitt.
We then learn that none of the first seventy minutes of the film was real,
and that Triton/Thor is actually an archangel fighting Satan the hand puppet.
I think you can spot the weaknesses of that plot without further evaluation
from me. In case you choose to watch the film, you might notice that the poor
writing is compounded by many other liabilities. Nobody in the film can act,
the editing is not tight, the hand puppets are simply silly (see below), there
isn't nearly enough nudity, the heavy metal music sucks, and the gore is
And you thought the monsters in Alien were scary?
D- or worse as a horror film.
Maybe a C- as a cultish bad movie.
A glittering 2.8 at IMDb
Scoop's note #1: Ya gotta love a movie in which one
of the characters is named Roger Eburt!
Scoop's note #2: I ordered this film the minute I
read Tuna's review! I think it goes without saying that this must be the
Citizen Kane of Evil Oven Mitt movies.
Teresa Simpson shows
breasts. She has also appeared in The Toxic Avenger and a video short.
Jillian Peri shows breasts. She has
no other credits.