Friday

 The Outside Man

1972

The Outside Man is kind of a French Existentialist spin on the international intrigue thrillers which were so popular in the 60s and 70s. Although it takes place in Los Angeles, is almost completely in English, and features a cast of familiar American faces, the director and screenwriters are French, and the film stars Jean-Louis Trintignant as a ruthless assassin who flies in from Europe to assassinate a crime boss living in the lap of L.A. luxury. That's not the essence of the movie, however. There's no tension in that particular activity because he succeeds rather too easily, and we don't have any reason to regret the death of a violent criminal with no back story.

The real heart of the movie lies in the assassin's attempt to get back to his home base. When he gets back to his hotel from his mission at the crime boss's estate, he finds that he has already been checked out of the hotel, and that his remaining possessions are gone, including his passport. He is, in essence, stranded in Los Angeles, and soon discovers that he himself is being stalked by another killer (Roy Scheider), one whose motivations are unknown. He's not sure whom to call for assistance, because it is possible that his own employers are the ones who hired the other killer to dispose of him. Or not. He must therefore find a way to get a new passport and get on a plane back to Europe while making his way through L.A. beneath the radar of his stalker.

The film's most effective element is the cat-and-mouse chase between Roy Schieder and Trintignant, which produces the same kind of tension generated by the one-on-one pursuit in No Country for Old Men. But there's a key difference between the two pursuits. In No Country for Old Men, we actually root for the mouse. He's just a regular guy being pursued by a seemingly unstoppable sociopath, so his fear and tension become our own in the best part of the film. But the best part of The Outside Man features two cold-blooded killers trying to kill one another, it is difficult to care what happens to either of them. We may enjoy their chess game from time to time, but we are not heavily invested in the outcome.

In the case of both films, the principal failing is that the end of that chase is not the end of the film, which makes everything after it anticlimactic. No Country for Old Men drifted away from being a taut thriller by wandering off into philosophy, shifting the focus to a third character (the sheriff following both the cat and the mouse). The Outside Man shifted directions just as dramatically, but took a completely different turn. The film ended with mass gunfights at the funeral of the slain crime boss, all punctuated with a strong undercurrent of absurd visuals and dialogue, as if the film's final reel had been lifted from a play written by Ionesco.

Ah, the French. What would we do without them?

Since this film is largely forgotten, but includes so many familiar faces, you may well find that it fills your quota for 1970s nostalgia. In addition to Roy Scheider as the mysterious assassin, the cast features Ann-Margret, Angie Dickinson, Alex Rocco, Talia Shire, John Hillerman, and Georgette from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. It also features Jackie Earle Haley from his days as a child actor, and is punctuated by an often jarring musical score from Michel Legrand.

 

Although there is no nudity from the principals, there is plenty of nudity provided by completely naked strippers who form a backdrop for a conversation. As I understand it, there were two versions of this film, and the American theatrical version was heavily edited. Fortunately, this clip is taken from the European version and, to make things even better, the French DVD has been taken from the full 35MM frame of the film, so we can see what was below and above the widescreen projection. OK, the women are anonymous, but it's all still pretty entertaining.

 

Blubberella

2011

If you thought Uwe Boll's previous movies were bad, you ain't seen nothin' yet. He cobbled this comedy together by using the same sets and actors he used in Auschwitz, a serious film about the Holocaust which uses extensive documentary footage, and BloodRayne 3, a Nazi vampire exploitation film. He therefore essentially made three completely different films for the price of one. Hey, nobody ever accused Uwe of being a bad businessman. The guy may not be the best director in the business, but he manages to raise quite a bit of money and to squeeze a lot of mileage out of every buck.

The general idea behind Blubberella is that an obese female superhero really hates Nazis, and kills a bunch of them, even though she appears to be from our time, and the Nazis she kills seem to be in the 1940s. And the Nazis are vampires. And I think the fat chick is also a vampire of some kind. And Uwe Boll himself plays Hitler. And Clint Howard plays Dr. Mengele (called "Mangler").

I'm pretty sure they must have improvised most of Blubberella as they went along, depending on the sets and actors who happened to be available, by reshooting the scenes in BloodRayne 3, but exaggerating them for comic effect and substituting a grossly fat chick for Natassia Malthe. This film therefore functions essentially as a parody of BloodRayne 3, and it's supposed to be funny.

It isn't.

 

There is some topless nudity from some random women, which seems appropriate in a movie probably best characterized by the adjective "random." I'm not sure who these ladies are, but here's the footage.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
 
 

Today's 1970s clips:

Ingrid Pitt in The Vampire Lovers (1970)

Karen Black in Cisco Pike (1972)

Scoop's notes on Cisco Pike:

When I saw this movie in 1972 (yes, I was the one) I thought it was just another rambling, drug-addled cinema verite movie which attempted to ride on the Easy Rider bandwagon with a deliberately casual hand-held aesthetic and various other similarities to the earlier Fonda/Hopper box office phenomenon.

Let's see ...

Pretty cool drug dealer with a conscience. He's not really a "hero" but a classic late-60s/early-70s antihero. He wanders around making deals, but is really hoping to get out of dealing. He spends a lot of time driving around wordlessly while complete songs play on the soundtrack, creating trite "mood footage." He has a buddy who is not as cool and, in fact, is kind of wasted and pathetic. They meander from place to place, pick up two hot chicks and have drug-distorted adventures. Karen Black is on hand. Cops are mean pigs. Along the way, the dealer loses one of his companions to 70s Death Syndrome, a disease which had two variants, either OD or KBR (killed by rednecks). The whole thing leads up to a wildly melodramatic guns-blazing climax.

Now which movie was I just writing about, Easy Rider or Cisco Pike?

When this film came out it was a complete failure. It just seemed to consist of a bunch of stock 1972 characters running around doing the usual stuff they did in all counter-culture movies. It didn't provide any insight because you could walk down the city streets yourself for 48 hours and experience the same sorts of random characters and disconnected events. The critics raped the film. The DVD box is promoted with the damnation of Leonard Maltin's faint praise that it is "surprisingly good." One might make the point that this is not really praise by noting that his comment is "surprisingly accurate." Audiences stayed away from Cisco Pike, and I hated it as well back then, after watching it in an empty theater as part of a double feature. That's right! The studio was so convinced of its total lack of drawing power that they packaged Cisco as part of a double bill (a rarity in 1972) with some dubbed four-year-old "Spaghetti gangster" film called Machine Gun McCain, a film which held a certain fascination for me because Jim Morrison of the Doors had a small acting role.

I see Cisco Pike in a different light today. In 1972 all the cool-ass 70s iconography in this movie was lost because it was so familiar. Hell, in 1972 you'd never really notice a lava-lamp on a guy's desk and more than a fish would notice water, because it was just part of the environment. Today, however, lava-lamps are iconic (and ironic) 70s symbols, and they draw immediate attention to their presence, as the one in this film did. That provides a metaphor for the entire film - it's a cinematic lava-lamp. It draws one's attention to an alien culture long since disappeared, and offers a snapshot of times and attitudes generally forgotten. It pictures the era as it saw itself, and also gives us an intimate glimpse at Hollywood's 1972 theories about marketing to the counter-culture. It is a priceless cultural artifact which provides an authentic time-travel experience that could not be duplicated by watching new film about 1972.

Tuna called Cisco Pike dated in his review, and I have to agree, but to me that's what makes it so much more interesting today than it was in 1972. People would watch it in 1972 and ask "What's the point?" Now, some 40 years later, there is a good answer. Cisco Pike is a magnificent time capsule.

 

  
 

Happy Canada Day, eh!

All comments by Spaz:

During the Canada Post strike, after sorting through 1000s of pictures accumulated over a decade on my hard drive, here are some golden nuggets:

From the 100s of modeling profiles that I have looked at the most common lie after their age is that the model/actress will not pose nude  for a photographer even though:

(i) She's done a full beaver spread for hefmag magazine or one of its many newsstand specials. (face it girls, some of you will take off your clothes for a prestige publication which looks good on your resume and the pay is good)

(ii) She works as nude dancer the local strip bar. (face it girls, being a go-go dancer pays very little if you keep your clothes on).

(iii) Most of her acting roles are strippers or hookers. (face it girls, it's well known many of these roles are farmed from the local strip bars. They do this so the producers can claim their bar tab as a business expense)

(iv) She's done porn work under another pseudonym. (face it girls, guys can recognize you by your tattoos or even by the mole pattern on your skin)

(v) She's done nude scenes in acting roles. (face it girls, google images quickly brings these up).

(vi) She's omitted acting roles where she has appeared nude in her model profile. (face it girls, if an actress appears nude her role quickly gets listed on the Internet Movie DataBase).

(vii) She's has a bare-ass or topless photograph with her arms-over-her-boobs in her model profile.(face it girls, no one likes a tease)

BTW, many so-called reality shows must be recruiting their female "marks" from modeling agencies because many models list these shows under their acting credits.
 

(1) Aidan Dee: hair-over-boobs.

(2) Alana Randall: Hellcats actress sexy.

(3) Alena Jenkins: full nude as model. She's the sister of reality star Ryan Jenkins who murdered his wife and committed suicide.

(4) Alexandra Essoe: lingerie.

(5) Allison Wood: full frontal by Body Language babe.

(6) Amanda Rodrigues: Brazilian wife of boxer Arturo Gatti shows her brazilian as a porn model.

(7) Amelie Paul: arms-over-boobs by Montreal b-movie actress.

(8) Amie Alexia: side boob.

(9) Amy Kerr: lingerie by former Trailer Park Boys actress. She visited the hefmag mansion a few years back but kept her knickers on.

(10) Annie McAuley: undated photo from unknown early production.

(11) Amy Lynn Grover: topless.

(12) Andee Frizzell: arms-over-boobs by Stargate babe.

(13) Andrea Nettleton: hands-over-boobs.

(14) Angela Besharah: arms-over-boobs by American Pie babe.

(15) Angela Fong: arms-over-boobs. She had a very brief wrestling career in the WWE.

(16) Anni Mei: hand-over-boobs nude by Toronto model and go-go dancer. TMI warning: She will be on the Canadian reality series Lake Shore which is a hoser knock-off of Jersey Shore.

(17) Ashley Wostat: sexy hosting sex conference but not performing.

(18) Audrey Gair: arms-over-boobs by Kenny vs. Spenny babe. TMI warning: She's the real-life girlfriend of Ken Hotz and nearly flashed her boobs in an episode.

(19) Basia Antos: she was last working at a Caribbean casino resort. She must have landed a whale of a husband.

(20) Bianca Beauchamp: full frontal by porn actress.

(21) Brandie Coe: Postal babe shows some partial boob.

(22) Carla Collins: early CTV promo nude of her 2000 talk show.

(23) Carmen Russo: Naked News correspondent nude. Way before then when she was a Montreal model/actress she posed for an early edition of a hefmag lingerie newsstand special but it's not known which one and under what name she used.

(24) Caroline Becker: lingerie.

(25) Catherine Servedio: nude bodypaint.

(26) Cecelia McHugh: sexy tanktop.

(27) Christy Greene: belly dancer outfit.

(28) Cindy Fidler aka C.J. Fidler: stunt babe full frontal as stripper in Exotica film set.

(29) Claire Oleson: arms-over-boobs.

(30) Corrine Markin: lingerie by Body Language babe.

(31) Cory Lee: feather-boa-over-boobs.

(32) Daniela Dib: bare midriff.

(33) Danielle Barker: arms-over-boobs by Starvival hostess.

(34) Danielle Hampton: wearing only skimpy towel over boobs in Paradise Falls set.

(35) Deanna Smith: lingerie. She turned down a hefmag pictorial. Damn!

(36) Dominique Arganese: implied nude by Montreal area stripper. TMI warning: she's in explicit sex tape with Vern Troyer aka Austin Powers Mini-me and it's making the rounds on the internet.

(37) Ebonie Roberge: lingerie.

(38) Elisabetta Fantone: Loft Story reality contestant modeling some lingerie.

(39) Elle Patille: arms-over-boobs by Kenny vs. Spenny babe.

(40) Emily Alatalo: bikini by Toronto b-movie babe.

(41) Emma Marin: bikini.

(42) Erica Day: side boob.

(43) Eva Aichmajerova: full beaver shot by czechploitation actress.

(44) Gabrielle Miller: rock hard pokies by Corner Gas star.

(45) Genevieve St-Amour: implied nude.

(46) Gigi Dalka: arms-over-boobs.

(47) Gillian Hutchison: arms-over-boobs.

(48) Heather O'Donnell: partial boob by Lingerie cable series babe.

(49) Heidi Sallinen: lingerie.

(50) Hiba Allam: bikini by Kenny vs. Spenny babe.

(51) Holly Eglinton: Vancouver area stripper in bikini.

(52) Hunter Phoenix: lingerie.

(53) Jaayda Ellingham: she played a stripper in a single movie and fell off the face of the earth.

(54) Jessica Dhillon: side boob.

(55) Jessica Olafson: lingerie.

(56) Jessica Vandenberg: lingerie by Lingerie cable series babe.

(57) Juliana Semenova: arms-over-boobs.

(58) Julie Couillard: the former girlfriend of a Canadian Cabinet Minister did some print modeling in Montreal.

(59) Justine Priestley: 902310 Jason Priestley's fraternal twin sister in lingerie.

(60) Kari Lakomski: nude in advertisement.

(61) Karolina Czaja aka Daisy Fennel: implied nude by Toronto model. TMI warning: She will be on the Canadian reality series Lake Shore which is a hoser knock-off of Jersey Shore.

(62) Kate Steen: no nudity as model but she will show fur for PETA.

(63) Katie Buitendyk: Body Language babe wearing only a coat of paint.

(64) Kristy McQuade: arms-over-boobs.

(65) Laura Pilotte: lingerie.

(66) Lindi Lee: Saskatchewan actress boobs nearly falling out of top.

(67) Lindsey Marshall aka Alberta Lucie: explicit nude. TMI warning: she was fired as a cheerleader for the Toronto Raptors in 2004 when they found out she was running a porn site.

(68) Lisa Heughan: early full frontal by 1980s Toronto Sunshine Girl.

(69) Lynzey Patterson: arms-over-boobs.

(70) Magalie Bourgeois: discreet topless.

(71) Maja Stace-Smith: stunt babe in bikini.

(72) Mandy Bo: Toronto actress from the Body Language cable series showing a bit of boob.

(73) Mannu Sandhu: nude bodypaint.

(74) Mari-Pier Gaudet: Montreal stunt babe modeling some lingerie.

(75) Maria Nero: arms-over-boobs.

(76) Marianne D'Vaz: full frontal by Lingerie tv series babe.

(77) Marie Avgeropoulos: bikini.

(78) Mariev Rodrig: hair-over-boobs,

(79) Marisa Nero: see though lingerie by Kenny vs. Spenny babe.

(80) Marta Ogonek: arms-over-boobs by Body Language babe.

(81) Meghan Flather: bikini.

(82) Melissa Auf der Maur: hair-over-boobs by Montreal ex-pat and bassist for Courtney Love's band the Hole.

(83) Melissa Bentivoglio: arms-over-boobs by Body Language babe.

(84) Michelle Boback: pregnant as a a guppy, doing some burlesque.

(85) Michelle Latimer: in lingerie on set of Paradise Falls.

(86) Nicole Arbour: female comedian is naked a lot but really doesn't show anything.

(87) Nicolette Bujdos: Postal babe modeling some lingerie.

(88) Patricia Stasiak aka Phylis Syd: full frontal!

(89) Penelope Jolicoeur: goth lingerie.

(90) Penikett twins: Stephanie is nude while Sarah shows some cleavage.

(91) Raquel Riskin: lingerie.

(92) Rebecca Cormier: bare midriff. She had a single but memorable guest role on Show Me Yours and then fell off the face of the earth.

(93) Rose Huggett: arms-over-boobs.

(94) Roxane Bryce: bikini by Kenny vs. Spenny babe.

(95) Roxy: explicit nude by Ed the Sock hottub girl.

(96) Sabrina D'Amour: implied nude.

(97) Samantha Ardente: implied nude spread by Quebec porn actress and former high school secretary.

(98) Samantha Crowther: arms-over-boobs by Body Language babe.

(99) Sara Balint: see through lingerie.

(100) Sarah Scotford: arms-over-boobs.

(101) Solana Raye: explicit nude by Body Language babe.

(102) Stephanie Lavergne: bare midriff.

(103) Stephany Sexton aka Deniz Reno: American Pie babe is sexy.

(104) Svetlana Chernienko: boobs almost falling out of her skimpy bathing suit.

(105) Tammy Morris: cleavage in early shot around the time she broke up the engagement between Ben Afflect and Jennifer Lopez. TMI warning: Tammy was the stripper at his bachelor party and Jennifer blew her top when she found out that Bennifer performed oral sex on her shaved clam.

(106) Thea Nikolic: in outfit that will make a Star Wars nerd cream his jeans at a comic book convention.

(107) Timera Ali: underwear by Body Language babe.

(108) Trisha Echeverria: American Pie babe modeling some lingerie.

(109) Uma Jama: underwear by Body Language babe.

(110) Valerie Wiseman: Montreal stunt babe in bikini.

(111-114) Margie Gillies generated a record amount of complaints to the CRTC (the hoser equivalent of the FCC) concerning an interview about why her [nude] dancer performances should be funded by the Canadian government.



 
 

Film Clips

Sarah Mutch in Funkytown (2011). See below.

 

Leslie Murphy in White Irish Drinkers (2010). See below.

Jennifer Decker in Les amants naufrages (2010). See below.

Shari Solanis in Now and Later (2009). See below.

 

Pics

Julie Lee Wa-Yuet in Body Lover (1993)