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"Old Gringo"

Old Gringo (1989) has Jane Fonda traveling to Mexico to take a job as tutor for a rich family. She felt life was passing her by, and felt confined by Washington formal society. She runs headlong into the Mexican revolution, and is used by one of Villa's generals to launch a surprise attack on the hacienda. The Old Gringo, Ambrose Bierce, also shows up. Bierce has come to Mexico looking for an honorable death. (Bierce did disappear in Mexico in 1912 or 1913. For those not familiar with this US author, he is best remembered for The Devil's Dictionary.) Fonda adapts to revolution quickly, and starts seeing Bierce, whose identity is a secret to her, and also the general. She ends up in bed with the general before the tragic and noble conclusion.

I thought this 119 minute film would never end. The pace made Heaven's Gate seem like a drag race by comparison. The film was purportedly about the Bierce character, but actually focused on Fonda, who was, quite frankly, not that interesting. Ebert awards two stars, and IMDB readers say 5.2 of 10. Fonda received a Razzie nomination for her performance. She shows a breast from the side and partially from the rear in a sex scene, and has a down-blouse earlier in the film. Some of the scenics were lovely, and I included some of the best frames in the last two images. The film was technically OK, but not good history or entertainment. C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Jane Fonda (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Samples of Cinematography (1, 2)

    "Witch Academy"

    Witch Academy (1993) is, according to writer/director Fred Olen Ray, the last of the scream queen titty flicks. It didn't do well in the box office, but is exactly what the genre is supposed to be. A total farce with lots of large breasted scream queens showing their assets, and nobody taking anything seriously. The story takes place in a sorority house, where the three sisters invite a nerd over to make fun of on the pretext that they might let her in the fraternity. Satan, played by Robert Vaughn, takes pity on her, and turns her into the hippest, sexiest, best looking of the girls.

    All three sisters and the pledge show breasts and buns throught, When they are not nude, they are wearing nighties or sexy lingerie. The four are Suzanne Ager, Veronica Carothers, Ruth Collins and Michelle Bauer. Priscilla Barnes also appears, but has no exposure. The film was made in 6 days on a budget of $104k. The IMDB score of 2.4 of 10 is a little unfair. This is a good example of the genre. The problem is that the genre no longer has an audience. C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Michelle Bauer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Ruth Collins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Suzanne Ager (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Veronica Carothers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Yo, dudes, I'm on summer vacation. Will be back to work in a fortnight, but in the meantime, I'll be sending in a movie report now and then about the stuff now in the theaters, and maybe some "other crap".


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Other Site Stuff
    Charlie's site of French celebs has been updated!

    First up today, the second lot of scans from a list of the 200 sexiest women:

    "Live Wire"
    There's some brief topless shots of Lisa Eilbacher, and some nice 'caps of Tracy Tweed in this pre-Bond Pierce Brosnan movie.

    "The Pelican Brief"
    Julia Roberts in her bra in scenes from the movie version of the John Grisham novel.

    "A Better Way to Die"
    Some topless views of London King in her 1 minute contribution to A Better Way to Die, while Natasha Henstridge, amazingly, keeps the goodies hidden.

    Jill Haworth doesn't wear many clothes in this scene from the English horror film It, but nothing is visible.

    "Maybe This Time"
    Judy Morris and Jude Kuring are seen topless in the mediocre Aussie movie Maybe This Time.

    "I'll Never Forget What's 'is Name"
    Brief nipple sightings by Marianne Faithful, Carol White and an unknown actress in I'll Never Forget What's 'is Name. Some other nice caps of Lyn Ashley and some unknown models.

    "The Queen's Jubilee Concert"
    This is the correctly named scans that I mucked up a fortnight ago - Jenny Frost from Atomic Kitten.

    • Jenny Frost (1, 2)

    "Goodbye, Columbus"
    Finishing up with the queen of the nips, Ali MacGraw in Goodbye, Columbus. They aren't the clearest views but we still get to see the magnificent protuberances. There's also a bit of a nip slip by an unknown as she gets out of the water in a bikini.

    Xenia Seeberg Brief toplessness from the "Lexx" co-star in scenes from "Jetzt bringen wir unsere Männer um" (2001).

    Zora Holt Breast exposure from "Klinikum Berlin Mitte" (1999).

    Luise Bähr More brief nudity from German TV.

    Patricia Arquette
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    More nudity by Helvete from "Human Nature"!

    Here's the breakdown:

  • Link #1 Bikini with thong views
  • Link #2 Breast, partial rear and far off frontal views
  • Link #3 Side breast exposure
  • Link #4 Shaving her whole body
  • Link #5 Bra, partial nudity
  • Link #6 Side breast views, far off frontal views

  • Britney Spears
    (1, 2)

    A few pics from the opening of her new restaurant in New York, called Nyla. #1 is an interesting image. #2

    Michelle Williams The "Dawson's Creek" star showing some serious cleavage on Letterman.

    Pat Reeder
    Kylie To Pose Nude

    Kylie Minogue has reportedly agreed to pose naked for a book.

    The Daily Star said the 34-year-old would strip off for a new book, The Naked Truth.

    The book is the creation of actress/photographer Lisa B - an old flame of the Duke of York.

    The paper said Kylie and Lisa, who played Hugh Grant's other girlfriend in Bridget Jones's Diary, had been friends for years.

    Kylie's decision to strip off goes one step further than her steamy advert for lingerie store Agent Provocateur.

    Yasmin Le Bon is also baring all for Lisa's book, along with Benetton's Flavio Briatore and designer Bruce Oldfield.