Gang, here's an update on Tuna's condition. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is email@example.com
It was the extreme shortness of breath that got my attention. I was admitted to the hospital in atrial fibrillation with a heart rate of 180. They rather quickly drained 1.4 liters of bloody fluid from my right lung. They have subjected me to dozens of tests, and ruled out many possible causes of this, but they still don't know what went wrong. I am still in atrial fibrillation, but with a heart rate under control using 3 drugs. I am home waiting for some of my medication to reach the proper level in my system, then I may have another hospital stay to try and convert my heart to normal rhythm.
I am able to spend some time at the computer, and am again reading my Email.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Spielberg's only significant misfire. I wrote a
rather long review with some pictures, which is best read here.
The nudity scoop is brief but sort of interesting. The opening
scene of 1941 is a very close copy/parody of the opening scene of
Jaws, except that the midnight swimmer is disrupted by a Japanese
submarine rather than a shark. In both movies, the skinny dipping
swimmer with the voluptuous figure is played by the same actress:
Susan Backlinie. (Swimming and diving stunt work was her specialty.)
What's the greatest American rock band of all time?
Amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms
marshmallow bit shape determines what you're like in bed!
Brian De Palma may direct a prequel to The Untouchables.
The trailer for Sympathy for Lady Vengeance "The third
film Chan-wook Park's revenge trilogy following 'Sympathy for Mr.
Vengeance' and 'Oldboy'."
Britain's Prince Harry had blood test to prove Charles was father.
WTF. Look at the ears. It was either Chuck or Dumbo.
Super-Thin Lindsay Lohan Collapses
- I didn't make this up:
U.S. Government rules that the "Siegfried and Roy" attack was not
the work of terrorists!! They have also ruled out
beehive hairdos. I didn't make that up either.
Ex-Presidents Bush, Clinton Play Golf
NPR pays out some hefty salaries!
Another cast member from "Real World Austin" joins the handcuff
Silence is Golden - the AMC Theater warning about cell phones.
Comedian Pablo Francisco riffs on movies
Atlantic City frets over thought of losing the Miss America
pageant to Nashville
- Now that's funny!
Developer wants to use new Supreme Court ruling to eminent domain
- "Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court
Justice David H. Souter? A new ruling by the Supreme Court which
was supported by Justice Souter himself itself might allow it. A
private developer is seeking to use this very law to build a
hotel on Souter's land. The CEO of Freestar Media, LLC, points
out that the City of Weare will certainly gain greater tax
revenue and economic benefits with a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill
Road than allowing Mr. Souter to own the land."
- The developer plans to call it The Lost Liberty Hotel
American scientists create robot lobster.
Unfortunately, North Korean scientists have countered our plan
with robot drawn butter.
- Statement of the Shrink League:
"It is irresponsible for Mr. Cruise to use his movie publicity
tour to promote his own ideological views and deter people with
mental illness from getting the care they need" ...
"Instead, he should use the tour to promote OUR ideological view
and allow us to drain those loonies of the money WE need. What the
hell do they need money for? They're nuts! They'd just spend it
all on silly straws and those noisemakers from New Year's Eve"
The Daily Show: "The on-the-ground evidence, or as we like to call
them, 'facts' suggest Cheney might be incorrect."
Patently Absurd: "Totally Absurd Inventions ...
America's Goofiest Patents!"
Dead Pets - They Never Run Away!
Iowa State University's Tasty Insect Recipes
Become more macho or risk your extinction, men told ...
Symptoms of the illness that has been dubbed "mantropy" include a
penchant for pedicures, fruit smoothies and small dogs.
Mao: the Untold Story. A review of a book on the life
of Chairman Mao: "the whole official history of the revered
founding father of Communist China is a myth written to cover up
the evil of a monster". A few samples:
- Mao and his leading comrades never actually marched, since
they were carried in litters and were generally treated "like
- Mao never tried to pit his Reds against the Japanese: He was
too busy plotting to destroy his own rival commanders and to
maneuver Stalin to help give him control of China on a plate.
- In Yenan in 1941, Mao funded his operations by turning
30,000 acres of fertile land to opium production.
The Weekend Warrior makes his predictions for the upcoming weekend.
He's callin' it $60 mill for Spielberg and Cruise, and nine mill
for Martin Lawrence.
"PRESIDENT TO NAME YODA HOMELAND SECURITY CHIEF" ...
Bush refuses to change his mind even after learning Yoda isn't
Letterman's "Top Ten Rejected Titles For Saddam Hussein's New
- "Inspectors Turn up no Evidence that Herbie was Ever Fully
- "The Brotherhood of the Traveling Underpants"
NEWSBREAKERS When News Breaks, We Bust It. These are
the crazies who try to sneak themselves into the background of
live news reports. Their many costumed characters include the
- The poster for the dystopian thriller from the Wachowski
V for Vendetta, which stars Portman and Agent Smith.
It's like a futuristic version of Zorro, except with a V instead
of a Z.
- This week's movies:
Rebound - no reviews yet. A sports comedy with Martin
Lawrence as a college basketball coach who is a mastermind with an
uncontrollable temper, ala Bobby Knight. Banished from the college
game, he is able to get only one coaching job - at a junior high
school that lost its last game 109-0.
- (This film will appear on 2300 screens, War of the World on
- This week's movies:
War of the Worlds is rated 100% positive at Rotten Tomatoes,
although no major reviewers have checked in yet, but there is
something curious going on here.
It is only rated 6.8 at IMDb.
The trailer for Cry Wolf.
- "Nobody believes a liar - even when they're telling the
truth. When a young woman is found murdered, a group of local
high school students decide to further scare their classmates by
spreading online rumors that a serial killer called "The Wolf"
is on the loose. By describing "The Wolf's" next victims, the
students' game is to see how many people they can convince - and
if anyone will uncover the lie. But when the described victims
actually do start turning up dead, suddenly no one knows where
the lies end and the truth begins. As someone or something
begins hunting the students themselves, the game turns
"My exorcisms get results"
TOM CRUISE BIDS FAREWELL TO EARTH ... Returns to Planet
of Origin on Eve of Film's Debut
- Star Trek episode concept of the week:
"The Giant Radio Lobes of Fornax A"
Paula Abdul near death after grueling nail salon ordeal.
- UK tries to close the "power couple public embarrassment" gap!
Hugh and Liz are at it again. "Liz was flirting with
Hugh all night. We couldn't believe it when she grabbed Hugh's
hand and started sucking his finger suggestively."
- Weirdest amazon.com item yet. Weighing in at 700 pounds, with
a current retail price of eight large, it's all 1082 books in the
Penguin Classics Library!!
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
It's an all "Hankster Light" today.
Once again we set the controls of the Time Machine back to 1974...this time to take a look at the marvelous Angie Dickinson in in the Drive-In classic, "Big Bad Mama"!
Angie bares it all in several scenes...including a love scene with Fun House hero, Bill Shatner! Never could figure how they got her to this one.
- Angie Dickinson
One our way back to the present, we stopped by 1975 for quick peek at Laura Gemser topless in 'Black Emanuelle".
Finally today, we return to the present to enjoy some nice cleavage from Pamela Anderson & Jenny McCarthy in "Scary Movie 3".
- Pamela Anderson & Jenny McCarthy
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
A little bit of variety from the Ghost today...
First up, 'caps and vids of the husky-voiced Linda Fiorentino showing a little skin in two movies.
Here is Fiorentino topless, baring a bit of bum and showing off her legs in scenes from "The Last Seduction".
- Linda Fiorentino 'caps
- Linda Fiorentino zipped .wmvs
Here is Linda again, this time showing only partial side/rear breast views in scenes from "Liberty Stands Still" (2002).
Next up, some assorted video clips.
- Missy Cleveland aka Amanda Cleveland (zipped .wmv). Here is the former Heffer (April '79) topless in a shower scene from the Brian De Palma film "Blow Out" (1981), starring John Travolta and Nancy Allen.
- Paula Prentiss (zipped .wmv). Here she is going full fronatl in scenes from "Catch-22" (1970).
- Heidi Sorenson (zipped .wmv). Another former Heffer baring her robo-big'uns on screen. The unusual factoid about this clip is that she did the Heff-mag thing 14 years before taking her top off for this love scene with C. Thomas Howell in "Suspect Device".
- Sondra Locke (zipped .wmv), bares breast and bum as she is attacked by a bunch of bad guys in scenes from the Clint Eastwoond western, "The Outlaw Josey Wales" (1976).
|Alexandra Maria Lara
||The Romanian actress looks lovely baring all 3 B's in scenes from the German Comedy/Drama "Nackt" (2002).
||Full frontal nudity from the German actress in scenes from "-trotzdem!".
||Going topless in a scene from the recently broadcast German TV version of "Othello".
||Also going topless in "Othello".
||Blindfolded with a bad neck tie, wearing a bag over her head, and sometimes even baring all 3 B's in another scene from "Nackt" aka "Naked".
||Brief breast and bush sightings as she lies nekkid in bed in a scene from "Midsommar Stories" (1999).
||Topless in a scene from "Frauen lügen nicht" aka "Women Don't Lie" (1998).
||Here is the Austrian actress showing a bit of the two frontal B's in a scene from "Böse Zellen" aka "Free Radicals" (2003).
||Brief toplessness in another scene from "Böse Zellen".
|The Skin-man managed to get some 'caps of Sarandon's very brief toplessness in scenes from "Sweet Hearts Dance". The 1988 Drama also starred Don Johnson, Jeff Daniels and Elizabeth Perkins.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
SCIENTISTS BRING DOGS BACK FROM THE DEAD
"DOG" Backwards Is "GOD!" - Scientists at Pittsburgh's Safar Center for
Resuscitation Research made a major breakthrough: zombie dogs! They
created a technique in which a dog's blood is drained and its veins
refilled with ice-cold saline. Its heart, breathing and brain all stop,
making it clinically dead. Three hours later, they replace the blood, give
the dog an electric shock, and it comes back to life, perfectly normal and
with no brain damage. They hope to do human tests within a few years.
The hard part: finding volunteers...CAREFUL!) So if you have any cold
bitches you'd like to suggest.
They hope to start with some corporate CEOs who already have ice water
in their veins.
They can also do it with a cat, nine times.
The dog is perfectly normal, except it won't eat anything but brains.
This just gave George Romero a great idea for a new "Benji" movie.
ECONOMISTS SAY: LEGALIZE POT
Pot O' Gold - More than 500 economists, including conservative icon Milton
Friedman, signed an open letter urging Congress to legalize marijuana and
tax it. Citing a Harvard report on "The Budgetary Implications of
Marijuana Prohibition," they said anti-pot laws have had little impact on
usage, and most pot-related crimes are due to criminals battling over the
trade because it's illegal. They said legalizing pot would save $7.7
billion a year on law enforcement. Plus, if it were taxed like booze or
cigarettes, it would bring in $6.4 billion in revenues.
If it were taxed like cigarettes, it would cost more than it does now.
And just imagine the boom in the snack cake industry!
Cheech & Chong could start making movies again and save Hollywood!
This would free the police to pursue real criminals, like college kids
who share music files.
CROWE ASSAULT CAUGHT ON TAPE
ThankYaVurryMuch! - The New York Post's Page Six reports that Russell Crowe
may have trouble convincing jurors he wasn't aiming a phone at hotel
concierge Nestor "Josh" Estrada. Two staffers who were there say Crowe
berated Estrada over the phone because his long distance wasn't working.
When Estrada muttered, "Whatever," Crowe said, "I'm coming down right now
to kick your ass." He came to the desk, asked for Estrada, flung the phone
at him, then picked up a ceramic vase and hurled that, too. Then he took a
little bow like he'd finished a performance, and struck a karate pose.
They say it was all caught on a security camera.
If they released that, it would make more money than "Cinderella Man."
The phone wasn't working, but at least the mini-bar was well-stocked.
The prosecution's biggest challenge: getting him tried as an adult.
|A quick site note
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