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Perfect (1985), despite some pretense at exploring a reporters right to protect his sources, and a small element (really more of a device) concerning government prosecution of a company owner, is really nothing more than a Hollywood formula love story pitting aerobics instructor Jamie Lee Curtis against Rolling Stone reporter John Travolta. Travolta travels to LA to attempt to get an interview with the accused company head, and agrees to do a full piece on health clubs being the new singles bars. He hadn't reckoned on Jamie Lee, who he tried to seduce in order to gain her permission for an interview, then fell in love with. When he sends back a pro-fitness story to Rolling Stone, his boss publishes the story he expected to get under Travolta's name. This causes the "boy looses girl" step. Now for the boy gets girl. The business man is brought to trial, Travolta's tapes are subpoenaed, and he refuses to deliver them, so is jailed for contempt. Jamie Lee sees that he is honest after all.

Jamie Lee shows buns in a dark scene, and then has an extended downshirt exposing her breast. She also pokes out of several tight aerobics outfits. Sharlene Jones shows buns and breasts while stripping. IMDB readers have this at 4.1 of 10, and it was nominated for three razzies. I can't hate any film that shows Jamie Lee's breast, so will give it a C-.

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  • Jamie Lee Curtis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Sharlene Jones (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Quiet Nights in Hollywood"

    Quiet Nights in Hollywood (1997) stayed in well-deserved obscurity until Hilary Swank, who has a minor role in the film, won her Oscar. Not to say that they were being commercial, but they changed the packaging and ads to look like she was the star, and re-released it. It is essentially a series of vignettes, all of them with some sexual theme or element, and all with very loosely connected characters in Hollywood. We have celebrity flashers, hookers, waitresses, petty thieves, rich swingers with an open marriage, lawyers, gay best actor winners and their junkie boyfriends, and all of this is supposed to be what Hollywood is like. The narrative style obscures what passes for plot by such tricks and inter-cutting two scenes that happen at different times. I ended up doing something I rarely do. I fast forwarded through the last 20 minutes. It was that, or sleep through it.

    Natasha Gregson Wagner, as the swinging wife who also sleeps with a lawyer who works for her husband, shows breasts and buns in two lengthy intercut scenes. The breast shots are all either long shots, or reflections in glass. Meta Golding shows most of a breast having sex with her gangster boyfriend in a carwash, then most of her buns after being raped by the lawyer in the restroom of the restaurant she works in. Tammy Parks (redhead) and Paige Kimberly Livingston flash their breasts for the gay actor at the Oscars. Apollo has this one at 58, IMDB readers say 5.4 of 10, and I say D+.

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  • Flashers (1, 2, 3)
  • Meta Golding (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Natasha Gregson Wagner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Yo, dudes, I'm on summer vacation. Will be back to work in a fortnight, but in the meantime, I'll be sending in a movie report now and then about the stuff now in the theaters, and maybe some "other crap".


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    I spent few minutes surfing the web this morning looking into Judi Evans Luciano. Specific question: was she one of the nekkid babes in Party Animal? Figured there would be a site or two with pictures of her since she was a soap opera actress. A site or two? Try two or three thousand! Seems the one thing soap fans do beside watch soaps is set up soap websites.

    So I found a bunch of scans of Judi and decided all on my own that she was the actress who played the character, Holly, in Party Animal. Got all topless and everything. I amended the collage with those frames and am sending along three biopics of Judi for the rest of youse guys to compare: those lips, those eyes, that jaw... it just has to be.

    New stuff... Scans of Brooke Morales. IMDB says she was a former Raiderette, and in the kind of performance that stretches an actresses to the breaking point, she played one of the cheerleaders in "Baseketball". All 3 impressive B's for everyone to see.

    • Brooke Morales (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Patricia Arquette
    (1, 2)

    A great find by Helvete! Arquette fully nude (only breasts are visible) in the art house flick "Human Nature", co-starring Tim Robbins and written by Charlie Kaufman (writer of "Being John Malkovich"). As far as I know, this is currently not available on VHS or DVD.

    Arielle Dombasle Topless and fully nude side views in scenes from "Le Jour et la nuit" (1997).

    Cachou Brief nipple sighting in scenes from "Coeurs cara´bes" aka "Models in Paradise" (1995).

    Elisabeth Etienne
    (1, 2)

    Topless in a couple of scenes from the French movie "Femmes de personne" (1984).

    Julie Graham Topless and almost frontal nudity in scenes from "With or Without You" (1999). (there are several images of her full frontal nude scenes from this movie in the Back Issues)

    Lucie Jeanne Topless in "Une mort pour une vie". You may recognize her from role in the "Band of Brothers" mini-series on HBO.

    Marthe Keller Breast exposure in scenes from "Femmes de personne" aka "Nobody's Women" (1984).


    A little "Hankster Lite" today, from "Hidden Beauties: The Awakening", featuring Michelle Hall, Nikki Fritz (my favorite), Catalina Larranaga and Stacey Siomone. A lousy Movie but a little bit of skin.

    • Michelle Hall, topless. (1, 2)
    • Nikki Fritz, cleavage in #1, breasts, bum and bush in #2. (1, 2)
    • Catalina Larranaga, topless in all 4, plus bare bum in #1. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Stacey Siomone, topless. (1, 2)

    InÚs Sastre
    (1, 2, 3)

    The beautiful Spanish model/actress goes topless in scenes from "Vidocq" (2001).

    Isabelle Menke
    Juliane Niemann

    Both nude in a modern adaptation of "Hamlet" on German TV. Menke is fully nude with rear and side views. Niemann is topless.

    Sandra Speichert Brief nipple sighting in a bath tub scene from "Hochzeit mit Hindernissen", by Slartibartfast

    The Funnies
    Sad News About Beer

    You have to hope that this study is flawed, but the evidence seems irrefutable. Yesterday scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a long hard look at their beer consumption.

    The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.

    To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period.

    It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, had to sit down while urinating, couldn't perform sexually, and refused to apologize when wrong.

    No further testing is planned...