Saturday

Tuna
"Start the Revolution Without Me"

Start the Revolution Without Me (1970) is a comedy in the tradition of Blazing Saddles, The Life of Brian, Young Frankenstein, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and numerous other films that lampoon very serious moments in history. In this case, the target is the French revolution. The premise is that two sets of twins were born the same night at a country doctor's office, and they got switched, such that one aristocrat and one peasant went to each family. You would expect none other than Gene Wilder as one set of twins, and the other was Donald Sutherland. The four end up together in Paris, on the eve of the French revolution. Narration is done by Orson Wells. Unfortunately, the script was not written by Billy Wilder. The production looked fantastic, both sets and costumes, but the material never went beyond quaint for me.

The film was made by names such as Norman Lear, Bud Yorkin, and Lawrence Cohen, all names more commonly associated with TV sitcoms. The exposure was breast, and a rear view in a transparent nightie from Ewa Aulin. IMDB readers have it at 6.2 of 10. At a glance film reviews says, "Consistently amusing but rarely hilarious ...," which is reasonably accurate. This is a C. The production value is high enough to raise it above the C- the script deserves as a comedy.

  • Thumbnails

  • Ewa Aulin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "Never on Sunday"

    Never on Sunday (1960) is a film that many of our readers may not be familiar with, so here are the stats. It is a Greek made black & white comedy, originally titled Pote tin Kyriaki, half in Greek and half English that is nevertheless rated an amazing 7.2 at IMDB, very high indeed for a 43 year old foreign comedy. Thanks to MGM, who is steadily remastering and releasing their catalogue material on DVD, it is now available. This is the signature performance from Melina Mercouri as Illya, a freelance prostitute in the port city of Pireaus. She is the only freelancer in the city, and her independence is giving other working girls ideas, much to the dismay of "No Face," who charges them outrageous rent for their apartments in the red light district.

    Illya is considered a national treasure by all of her friends in the waterfront district, and is loved by all. As the film opens, we see her breeze down a pier full of boat workers, stripping as she runs, and jumping in the ocean in bra and panties. Everyone joins her, including a newcomer, half Greek and half Italian, and all smitten by her. This is the scene that greets Homer (Jules Dassin, who also wrote and directed) when he arrives from America, hoping to learn why the world is such an unhappy place by studying Greece, which was once the pinnacle of civilization and everything he holds dear, and has sunk so low. Illya becomes the symbol to him of his quest, and he sets about saving her. He can't believe she is happy as a hooker. The title comes from Illya's practice of taking Sunday off, and holding open house for the men she likes the most.

    The academy award winning tittle song was inescapable on the radio in 1960, and the Greek music soundtrack nearly made this a musical. Several things contribute to my love for this film. First, I love all of the characters (except No Face, of course). Second, the theme, that happiness is an inside job, is central to my personal belief system. Most of all, however, it is Melina Mercouri that makes this film. I don't think there has ever been an actress with a more expressive face, and this was a perfect match of actress to role. There is no nudity, of course, but this was a pretty spicy film for 1960. The theatrical trailer says, "We can't tell you what she does, but we can't stop you from guessing." The transfer is very nice, and there are optional subtitles for the Greek portions. This is one of those classic, but seldom mentioned films that many of you will enjoy, despite it's age and subtitles. B.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Melina Mercouri (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 35, 26,)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Updates:

    • New volumes: Jamie Luner, Cheryl Ladd, Debra Lamb, Stacie Lambert, Lucie Laurier, Charlotte Laurier, Kelly Lebrock, Geno Lechner, Sung Hi Lee, Li'l Kim, Tiffany Limos, Amy Lindsay, Angela Lindvall, and all four of the miscellaneous "J" volumes

     

    Emanuelle in America (1976):

    I had to turn this into a two-day project. I will have my collages of the star, Laura Gemser, and my extended comments tomorrow. For tonight, a few quick notes:

    1. Before Tom Green came along, I think this must have been the Citizen Kane of horse hand-job movies. See collage #1 in the hardcore section. What am I thinking of? It is still the Citizen Kane of horse hand-job movies.

    2. It seems that the film was meant to be modular, cuttable into several versions, softcore, hardcore, or hardcore with extreme sexual violence.

    a.  The DVD has all the footage, including extensive 8mm footage of extreme gore and torture, in a mock snuff film. This is really not my kind of stuff, and I will not do any captures, although there was nudity amidst the violence. (Women hung up by meathooks in their vaginas, women having their breasts sliced off.) Not only do I have no taste for this, neither have I a stomach for it, and was nauseated by this footage. It was, one must concede, very realistic. Too realistic.

    b. The other "disposable" footage is hardcore action featuring people who have no lines or maybe a couple lines, and do not appear in the any other context except in that footage. Since they are not relevant to the plot, this footage could easily be excised to create an r-rated film that was still as coherent.

    c. The first half of the movie is a tame R - not even any spread shots. Then, suddenly, it's penetration, double oral shots, and snuff films.

    3. The damned film doesn't have any credits except a list of names at the end. I could have identified two more actresses if I knew who played which part.

     

    Mailbox:

    Scoop

    Quite some time ago I attempted to send the attached scans (of a dramatically slimmed-down Kate Winslet) through to you. (1, 2) Either you didn't get them (or like them) I thought I'd give it another go, esp as they are great pics.

    But. Also. Have your heard about Rosamund Pike, as featured in the most recent Bond movie, in her role in "Hitchcock Blonde" in the West end, here in London? She spends a fair bit of the play talking about taking her clothes off, then towards the end of the play she does. She strips, walks across the stage naked, sits around a while and then offers a tit to the actor playing Hitchcock (lucky bastard). I didn't time it, but the scene went on for ages. It seems they are searching a fair number of the men going in for cameras and such (I was asked to open my rucksack) maybe one of your readers, more innocent looking than me, can get in and grab a few snaps? If not I'd recommend they go along anyway. She's gorgeous.

    C

     

    Scoop

    Here is an .avi file of that Justine Bateman topless scene. No sound, but nice video quality.

    J

     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr
    "Half Baked"
    The best weed-related movie since the golden era of Cheech and Chong....maybe even the best weed movie ever! David Chappelle is a very good comedian and co-wrote this stoner flick to go beyond the Cheech and Chong level of humor. The story pokes fun at the weed culture just as much as it embraces it, and along the way there is even a message for the kids as the lead character quits smoking at the end. Since we have all known or at least been around stoners at some point in our lives, it's easy to relate to the stupidity of professional pot-heads and laugh at and with the characters.

    If you're not "4:20 friendly", this movie will probaby just seem kinda silly at best. However, if you have ever been around any real smokers, then this is your Citizen Kane. Great cameos by Willie Nelson, Jon Stewart, Snoop Dogg, Stephen Baldwin, Janeane Garofalo and of course who can forget Bob Saget and his only line..."I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"

    As for the nudity...there is a little. Actress and stuntwoman C.J. Fidler shows off a robo-boob during a fight sequence.

    • C.J. Fidler (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


    "Shameless" aka "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" (1995)
    Looking for a way to spend 97 minutes and then say "Damn, why did I waste my time on that crap"? Well then here is a movie for you!

    As Scoop put it in his review "This film is muddled and nearly incomprehensible. The director never directed before, or since, and we can only hope for a continuation of that trend."

    It stars Elizabeth Hurley and C. Thomas Howell. That pretty much says it all. C. Thomas does his best Johnny Depp impression (complete with scruffy goatee and long hair), but let's face it...Depp is cool, Howell is "Soul Man".

    Liz does take her top off in a love scene with Soul Man, but the scene, much like most of the movie, is poorly lit. Louise Delamere also gets topless.

    • Liz Hurley (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Louise Delamere (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Variety
    Nancy Travis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    		Señor Skin 'caps of Travis showing off breasts and a frist class bum in scenes from "Married to the Mob" (1988).

    Assorted Babes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    		Venis 'caps from the Tinto Brass movie "Senso 45". In typical Tinto fashion, there are big'uns lots of rear nudity, and of course some gyno-views.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    NUDE MODEL URGED TO LEAVE SENATE RACE
    Pandering To Gay Voters? - Democratic officials in Sussex County, New Jersey, want state Senate candidate Jim Morrison to quit the race because he posed for nude pictures when he was a law student and entered a nude photo contest in 1996. They're afraid Morrison doesn't reflect the conservative values of the county, where Republicans outnumber Democrats 3-1. But Morrison, who appeared on ABC's "The Mole" and was one of People Magazine's "50 Most Eligible Bachelors," called the photo contest about "as bad as a wet T-shirt contest" and said, "I don't shy away or back away from who I am," and he thinks that's the kind of Senator voters want.

  • Apparently, he hasn't read Hillary's book.
  • Do voters really want another Democrat who can't keep his pants on?
  • They need a Democrat who can pretend to be a Republican, and Republicans NEVER get naked.
  • Relax: if a majority of the voters are women, he's a shoe-in.


    HUSBAND MURDERED OVER PAINT COLOR DISAGREEMENT
    Hue Must Die! - In Hamburg, Germany, a couple were redecorating their home when they got into a heated argument about what color to paint the walls. Angry and frustrated, the husband got a kitchen knife and told his wife to just kill him. She grabbed it and stabbed him in the heart. He died, and she was arrested. Police said both had been drinking. They didn't know what paint colors they'd been arguing over.

  • Passion Pink and Blood Red.
  • They'd been arguing for hours over two shades of off-white, so death was a relief.
  • When he said he'd rather die than look at seafoam green, he meant it.


    FIRST STRIP CLUB RUN BY STRIPPERS
    Naked Ambition - San Francisco's Lusty Lady club, the first strip club to have unionized dancers, has made history again: the strippers have bought the club and now manage it themselves. Some already had doctoral or paralegal degrees, so the only unusual thing about the office is that the workers are naked. Many go straight from the stage to send faxes or make calls, so they don't bother dressing. One dancer said it's "every man's fantasy," and she laughed recently when she was negotiating a contract over the phone and realized she was totally naked.

  • Their old male boss didn't work totally naked, just pantless.
  • Bill Clinton wants to know if they need a CEO.
  • Let's pray this idea doesn't catch on in radio station offices.
  • This is what people wish nudist camps were really like.
  • Ironically, the only time they get dressed is to go onstage so they can undress.


    NEWS NOTES

  • The euro bank note has only been around since January 2002, but a study by scientists in Germany found that almost all euro notes have traces of cocaine on them...And no traces of soap...No wonder they're more valuable than dollars!

  • A study by UC-San Diego found that smoking marijuana does not cause permanent brain damage...So you'll just have to keep smoking it every day to get the effect...Yes, they really have been -- "experimenting with marijuana!"

  • It's been over 18 months since New York banned drivers from using hand-held cell phones, and so far, there is no data showing a reduction in accidents...Or a reduction in cell phone use...So the ban will be lifted. Just kidding!...New Yorkers don't use cell phones in cars anymore. They're too busy smoking, because it's the only place they can.