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"Happy Campers"

Happy Campers (2001) was written and directed by Daniel Waters, who also did the cult favorite Heathers. He started off great, with the campers arriving on the busses. We meet several promising characters, including the Nazi-like director, the councilors, and the campers. The first day and night are still strong, setting up the probably romantic parings, and including some pretty funny material, then it suddenly deteriorates into a study of teen sexuality and romance. The councilors are having sex, and the campers are watching and wishing. They hit the director with a lightening bolt to get him out of the way (a big mistake, costing them many chances at humor), and the kids run wild. The problem is, nobody old enough to see this R rated film will have the slightest interest in this teenage soap. There is no insight, no revelations, no great truths, and precious little humor in most of the film.

Had they stuck to a comedy, with lots of bawdy physical humor, sight gags, practical jokes, etc, this would have been watchable. Much of the scenery was great, and the breast exposure from James King was especially nicely photographed. The film would probably be of interest to young adolescents, and might deliver a few useful revelations for that audience, but no American kid will ever get to see it with an R rating. C-.

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  • James King (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "An Erotic Vampire in Paris"

    An Erotic Vampire in Paris (2002) is the most recent release from Seduction Cinema starring Misty Mondae, this time with Mia Copia. You can usually expect naked women showing everything in clear light and lots of girl-girl in their releases, and this is no exception. This time, there is a new twist, with some camera and digital effects. They didn't distract to much from the film, and even with the 100 images below, I barely scratched the surface of the nudity from both women. Misty travels to Paris to visit the grave of her recently deceased mother, and attracts female vampire Mia Copia while at the cemetery. The two become lovers, and seduce a few men into their lair as well. Copia hides her true nature from Mondae until the end.

    Seduction Cinema should get a truth in advertising award. You always get exactly what you expect from one of their releases. The cast choice was good, in that you have the contrast of the slight Mondae with the full-figured Copia. Of course, this soft-core has no appeal to those who dislike the genre, and the vampire element is probably not strong enough to win over any of the horror genre fans. C+.

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  • Mia Copia and MistyMondae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Mia Copia (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

  • Misty Mondae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 19, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Yo, dudes, I'm on summer vacation. Will be back to work in a fortnight, but in the meantime, I'll be sending in a movie report now and then about the stuff now in the theaters, and maybe some "other crap".


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Marsha Mason a very nice topless appearance in scenes from "The Image" (1990). She was in her late 40's at the time, and not looking too shabby.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Today's flick..."The Attic Expeditions" (2001).

    An indie "horror"/psychological thriller starring Scott Evil, a Joaquin Phoenix look-alike, and cult movie actor Jeffrey Combs (the "Re-Animator" series).

    First time director Jeremy Kasten definitely has a good visual style. The sets, lighting, and camera work were all very nice. My only real complaint technically would be some of the quick cuts and shaky camera work used to create certain moods throughout the film. Plus, the nude scenes were not filmed very well. You can tell this guy watched a lot of Skinemax while researching how to shoot a sex scene. Complete with circling the actors with a steady cam while they have sex on a desk, to fade ins and outs to accelerate time, change positions etc.

    The plot:
    The basics: a dude wakes up from a coma after 4 years and has little memory of his previous life. He's told that before the coma, he killed his fiancée, he was committed to a psych-ward, and they performed brain surgery on him to 'calm his behavior'. Now as part of his therapy he is sent to the "House of Love", a special treatment center for mentally ill patients where they can live more like a family. Or is it (insert dum-dum-dum music here).

    This is where the film begins to lose it. The gimmick is that we are not supposed to know what is real and what is in the guy's head. Those movies can be fun for the audience as we try to figure it all out. But in this case, they flat out tell the secret of the hero's reality questions after about 20 minutes. They then spend the rest of the movie showing the hero piecing it together. Although now that we know, who cares.

    The second part of the plot is about a book of magical powers. Only the hero knows where it is, and his doctor wants it. They reveal the story of the book, all of the answers about the hero's mental illness, what's up with the psycho doctor, etc. all within the last 20 minutes. Just as they reach the climax where all will be revealed and everything comes full circle...the movie ends. No closure, no final thought. Nothin' but credits. Let's just hope they are not trying to make a sequel.

    The nudity:
    Beth Bates and Shannon Hart Cleary have the honors. Full frontal nudity and toplessness for both, with some rear views for Bates.

    The caps:
    Not the greatest. In every nude scene the lighting changed often, and there was a lot of fast motion by both performers and camera crew.


    More madness & mayhem from "Bloodsucking Freaks". 3 Unknowns suffer a variety of fates. Everything from having their teeth yanked out, to being a human dartboard, to a little game of stretch the girl.

    • Unknown dental patient (breasts and bush) (1, 2, 3)

    • Unknown human dartboard (breasts and bum)

    • Unknown on the rack (topless and full frontal) (1, 2, 3)

    Anna Kournikova
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    More of the tennis player/model posing for FHM. Anna looks great as always in these scans by AD.

    Here are the highlights:

  • Link #1 Bikini top
  • Link #2 bikini bottom
  • Link #3 Low cut shirt, mini-skirt cow girl outfit
  • Link #4 To borrow from Homer, mmmm cleavage.
  • Link #5 Legs

  • Dominique Swain
    James King

    Great collages by Dann from the summer camp movie "Happy Campers". A decent camp movie with the usual recycled clichés and stock characters from every camp movie ever made. But as Scoop pointed out, at some of the movie is offbeat and daring enough that the film does provide some entertainment.

    Swain is seen here in a two piece, gettin' a little lesbo love, and getting ready to get it on with some dude. King has some serious see-thru sightings and a topless scene with her breasts painted.

    Natasha Henstridge Very brief nipple exposure in a nude scene where everything else is carefully just out of sight. 'Caps from an episode of "The Outer Limits".

    Update from Brainscan
    Scoops, a little follow up:

    The actress labeled as Carol Holt in the Hollywood Passions caps I sent yesterday is none other than Carol Hoyt. Nekkid caps of her in Midnight Confessions by Uco and Illegal Entry by Nicnac have been sent into the Funhouse in the past couple of years. Carol also played characters in a couple of kiddie shows, Power Rangers Turbo and Micronots. IMDB lists Hollywood Passions as Hollywood Dreams: Tale 2. Just took a little time to figger out all this stuff.


    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Have A Kid, And Your Money Goes Out The Window - The Il Nuovo website reports that a five-year-old boy in Mirabella Imbaccari, Sicily, was told by his grandfather that money was not important in life, and that loving each other was much more important. So the boy found his father's wallet, removed about $1,400 (US) from it, shredded the banknotes and threw the pieces out the window.

  • And his dad said, "I don't love you anymore."
  • The next thing to be shredded and thrown out the window was grandpa. He'll grow up to become CEO of a large American corporation.


  • Friends of Dennis Rodman told the New York Post that he's learned his lesson and is working out "like a madman" in hopes some NBA team will hire him for a comeback...He'll need to find a team that's owned by a madman...If he can't land a gig as a player, he's willing to be a cheerleader...He's threatening to make another movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme if he isn't hired.

  • Pierce Brosnan said shooting sex scenes with Halle Berry was no fun because there are cameras all around, a director's under the covers with you trying to get the shot, and you constantly have to think about what body parts are showing...Sounds like Pamela Anderson's sex life.