Monday

A new essay:

Did you know that the average American in 1946 bought seven times as many theatrical film tickets as the average American of today? That means that they probably saw at least TEN times as many theatrical films, because there were so many double features.

And there were half as many screens! It was a sweet business back then, when there was no TV to compete with. Here are the data.

 

Some miscellaneous film clips and captures:

I didn't create any of these, not the clips or the caps, but there is some great material here.

Once Upon a Time in America is one of the greatest films ever made. It's a four hour movie and I wish it were longer. (Movie House Review). Today's clip is a lengthy and unpleasant scene in which Robert DeNiro rapes Elizabeth McGovern. There are a few frames in which McGovern is quite exposed. High definition zipped .avi here, sample HD captures below. There are also captures of two other actresses from the same film.

Elizabeth McGovern
Olga Karlatos
Ann Neville

Kristin Scott Thomas is a distinguished actress, and The English Patient won the Best Picture Oscar in its time, although Tuna didn't care for it, and I was lukewarm. (Movie House Review).  It is simultaneously one of the most loved and most detested films ever made, and the two sides can't see each other's points, as shown comedically on Seinfeld. High-definition zipped avi here, HD captures below. There is also one frame of Juliette Binoche from the same film.

Kristin Scott Thomas

 

Juliette Binoche

For years, the only known captures of this Stripes scene were seen in a Playboy article, but the last special edition of Stripes (Movie House Review) finally included the full sex scene between P.J. Soles and Bill Murray. Here it is as a zipped .wmv

The Specialist (Movie House Review) is not an especially good film, although it is watchable, but Stallone and Sharon Stone did do a very hot shower/sex scene. Zipped .avi.

Ludivine Sagnier is a Fun House Favorite, and her nude scene in La Petite Lili (Movie House Review) was chosen by our readers among the top nude scenes of 2004. Here is the zipped .avi.

 

 

 

Other Crap:

Impressive ventriloquist shows how to disconnect lip movements from speech.

"Warren Buffett, the world's second richest man, announced plans to give away an estimated 85 percent of his estimated 44 billion dollar wealth to charity."

Harriet, the oldest living creature, has died in Australia after a short illness. She was 176.

  • Legend has it that she was studied by Darwin himself.

Snakes on a Plane - a re-creation of the auditions

If your last name was Calcote, would you name your son Wiley? At least he didn't go to work for the Acme company.

There is a Scientology Orientation video on YouTube. I'll bet it won't be there long!

The Un-Funny SEQUEL About Scientology

A truly nasty review of The Fast and the Furious 3, as seen by The Filthy Critic

Microsoft Should Buy Yahoo, Says Merrill Lynch

Has string theory tied up better ideas in physics?

  • Nobel physicist Wolfgang Pauli didn't suffer fools gladly. Fond of calling colleagues' work "wrong" or "completely wrong," he saved his worst epithet for work so sloppy and speculative it is "not even wrong."

Weekend Box Office Results for June 23-25, 2006

  • Sandler came in strong,consistent with expectations or maybe a hair below.
  • Waist Deep did almost double what was anticipated, and nearly equaled Sandler in revenues per screen! 83% of the audience was black, so it represented some very successful marketing to the African-American community, especially women. 57% of the audience was female. That film took the number four spot despite being on a mere 1000 screens, grossing more than Tokyo Drift, which was on 3000 screens!
  • Last week's two highest grossers dropped dramatically. Nacho Libre and Tokyo Drift fell about 60% apiece.
  • The DaVinci Code passed $200 million
  • The top twelve were up about 7% over last year. That is the rut into which the summer has fallen. The last five weeks have run +7, +2, +8, +7, +7. The industry hopes to break out of that routine next week, because Superman Returns is widely expected to kick ass, while last year's War of the Worlds inspired little passion.

Michael J Nelson's website. (He's the very funny guy who was the star/writer of MST3000)

Jon Stewart, Enemy of Democracy?

The mystery of the Clearwater Monster has been solved.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi Was A Dixie Chick Fan

A clip from The Devil Wears Prada

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

9 Songs (2004)

9 Songs (2004) was reviewed by Scoopy, so it will come as no surprise to you that it is a hard core rock video, with nine bands intercut with hard core sex scenes between Kieran O'Brien and Margo Stilley. The entire thing is sort of narrated by O'Brien as he flies over the Arctic. Supposedly, the story takes a year, and chronicles the relationship from initial lust through comfortable sex to the inevitable break-up. As Scoopy admittedly does not like hard core action and simply doesn't watch it, I has originally thought it entirely possible that he was wrong about this one. In his only faint positive about this film, he mentions that the music set his mood, rather than the sex action on screen.

After watching this for myself, I still have a major quibble with Scoop's review. Nothing done by the 9 groups of unkempt kids with stringed instruments remotely resembled music by any definition I agree with. Oh, yes, and the sex is every bit as boring as Scoop said it was. Therefore, the entire film consists of narration (always boring), flying over the Arctic (after two seconds, you have seen it), boring sex and terrible music.

There are extra features on the DVD, including interviews, trailers, and a photo gallery. All in all, it was given a release just as if it had been a real movie.

This project seems to have worked for Margo Stilley, as she has two projects in post-production and another one in the talking stages. She certainly has demonstrated a willingness to show body parts, and is not afraid of on-camera sex, but ... well ...  if she put her bra on backwards it would likely fit better.

 As a hard core film, this is an F. However, in the same genre as recent hard core French mainstream films, the proper score is C-.

  • IMDb readers say 5.0.
  • Roger Ebert was unimpressed, and said, "a movie that marks an important director's attempt to deal with explicit sex. As an idea, the film is fascinating, but as an experience it grows tedious; the concerts lack closeups, the sex lacks context, and Antarctica could use a few penguins."

Scoop's note: Actually, when I mentioned that the music set my mood in the sex scenes, I was referring to the background music that played during the actual sex, and not to the music played during the nine concerts. I didn't like the concert bands any more than Tuna did, although perhaps that is because our generation gap is showing.

Margo Stilley shows everything, and inserts penises, tongues and vibrators into most of her orifices.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Today we finally wrap up "Sexy Movie."

Our two porn stars return and they are not afraid to show off the goods.

First up Mary Carey.

Then Mary and Kaylynn together.

Kaylynn goes solo.

We end it with two topless unknowns.

 

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Vlad:

No, this is not a promotional video for Winnebago, although the motor home in the flick, whatever the brand, was pretty nice in a retro way. As you undoubtedly realize, this is a B-movie direct-to-video slasher film that is not exceptional, but like most of these, is still fun to watch. A group of young friends set out in a vintage RV for a weekend in the woods. In the woods, they encounter a park ranger and a machete-wielding nutball in night vision goggles. It's hard to tell which one is the scarier.

Complete with a surprise ending and some nudity, this one goes on the "slightly-better-than-reruns" stack.

Diana Picallo Nicole Crisp

 

 

 

 

Alexandra Smieth in an episode of "Love Street."

 

 

Mimi Umidon in a different episode of "Love Street."

 

 

Paparazzi - Lindsay Lohan in a bikini
Paparazzi - UK Soap Star Sarah Dunn topless
Paparazzi - Keira Knightley in a see-through top. (I am not convinced this is authentic and unretouched, but it seems to come from credible sources.)