Tuna, our main contributor and the most energetic video capper ever known to man (as all of you well know) is currently indisposed. He is in intensive care in a hospital in the San Francisco Bay area. It doesn't make sense to send him any well-wishes at this point, since he is not checking his e-mail, and it would not make sense to call him, since ICU is not the place to do that.

He is in good spirits, and said he that he hopes to back on the job by next week! (Because the 70-75,000 collages he has already made just aren't enough!)

We'll continue to keep everyone posted and let you all know when he's ready to get e-mail and/or calls.

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


  • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated. Be sure to check out beautiful Isabelle Carré in Holy Lola
  • There is now a new Isabelle Carré volume in the Encyclopedia


Shakespeare ... In and Out (1999)

Shakespeare ... In and Out is an ultra low budget mockumentary. Given that it is produced by Troma Pictures and takes place in the adult film industry, you would expect it to have amateurish production values and to be gross and sophomoric, but probably also to be good for a few laughs. Your guesses would be mostly wrong. The production values are poor, but necessarily so. (It's part of the premise.) The film is actually ... well ... I hate to use the word when discussing a Troma film ... "sensitive." Oh, sure, not sensitive in the sense that Meryl Streep would consider a part in it, but sensitive in that it creates a genuine sympathy for and involvement with the lead character as if he were a real person. It is also tame, non-violent, and kinda sweet. Not one severed limb. Obviously, that is not what you would expect from a Troma project about the porno industry.

The set-up is as follows. Sixteen years ago, a filmmaker had a dream to film an ordinary person, chosen at random, at age six, then again sixteen years later. He managed to film the first half of the documentary, but died before he could complete the second half, so his son had to take up the mantle, and did so willingly, to honor his father. By the time the project was to be completed, the ordinary six year old had grown up to be an actor ... of sorts. Rich Longfellow caught the acting bug when he was a small child and dreamt of playing Shakespeare, but his pursuit of a classical stage career got him shunted off onto the sidetrack of the adult film business.

That premise allows the two filmmakers (the real filmmaker and the fictional one portrayed on film) the freedom to study the porno business and its impact on the lives of its participants. In that context, the film looks at "Rich" and examines his inner conflict between the obvious appeal of being a hot stud porn star with the attendant babes and bucks, and the fact that committing to the porno life means abandoning his dream to play Hamlet.

Considering the absence of production values (deliberately done to make the film-within-a-film seem authentic), this mockumentary succeeds in one very important way. It manages to suspend audience disbelief at times and create an engaging lead character. There were times when I forgot that the project was a joke and was wondering such things as, "what would happen to Rich Longfellow if he left porn?" Joint credit for achieving a surprisingly high level of involvement goes to Peter Shustari, who wrote and directed this project, and Roger Shank, who created Rich Longfellow by doing an impersonation of Mark Wahlberg in Boogie Nights, making his character an ingratiating, naive person who sometimes gets lost in life by taking regrettable detours, but cannot ever really hide the fact that he is always basically a nice kid inside. He's the contemporary equivalent of "the hooker with a heart of gold."

As a mockumentary, "Shakespeare ... In and Out" falls way short on the laughs. It just isn't very funny at all. On the other hand, as a simple story about a lost man trying to find himself, it has a poignancy that the auteur may not even have intended, and you may actually find yourself rooting for the poor schmuck to get his chance at Hamlet and, when he does get it, hoping he doesn't screw up completely.

  • Anita Francesco (1, 2)


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  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

For day two of of our coverage of "Blood Relic" we kick it off with a "Babe in Bondage" scene! This scene features Kelly Ray suspended topless with a wire around her neck. To top it off, the wire is rigged so that when her friends try to rescue her by forcing open a door, it strangles her.

Then we move on to two more "Babes in Bondage". First up, Jennifer Lauren Grant is suspended then rescued (but sadly not nude). Next, our babe from yesterday, Caitlin Sabins is topless again while being knifed to death.

Finally we have one more bit of "Hankster Light" from "Blood Relic". Melanie Rademaker is topless while gettin' it on, plus we see a quick bit o' boob from Debie Rochon.

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"The Jacket"
This 2005 fantasy/thriller is not unlike Somewhere in Time, a 1980 romantic fantasy where a very young Christopher Reeve travels back in time to be with a very young Jane Seymour. The plot is quite different, but the theme is the same.

In this one, a Gulf War vet, seriously wounded, has amnesia, and returns home remembering nothing. After he's accused of a murder he doesn't remember, he's sent to an institution for the criminally insane.

In the institution, he's subjected to brutal, drugged, sensory deprivation treatments that are supposed to remove his hostility. Placed in a straightjacket and locked in a totally black coffin-sized chamber, he is able to time travel. When he travels to the future he learns of his own death four days into the present, and also meets and falls in love with a young woman whom he had helped when she was a child.

I'm a big fan of time travel stories, and this one is first rate. Adrien Brody did an excellent job as the war vet, and Keira Knightley was equally outstanding as the young woman, totally losing her heavy British accent and doing a very acceptable American one. I highly recommend this movie for Sci-Fi fans, but if you don't get Twilight Zone stories, you won't get this one either.

Nikki Cox The busty co-star of "Las Vegas" showing off some of her lovely cleavage while visiting Regis and Kelly.

Uma Thurman
Christina Milian
(1, 2)

There's no real nudity in "Be Cool" (the did-not-need-to-be-made sequel to "Get Shorty"), but Uma looks great in a bikini, and Milian looks very sexy in a bikini top and ultra-short cut offs.

Claire Danes
(1, 2)
Zoe Tapper

Danes revealing her lil'uns for the first time, and Tapper bares her bum while also showing enough cleavage for herself and Claire. Scenes from the indie film "Stage Beauty".

Margo Stilley
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Stilley bares all and gets it on for real in several scenes from the controversial UK film, "9 Songs".

Click here if you'd like to read Scoop's review. You can also find several video clips of the sex scenes in the archives (check the 6/2/05, 6/3/05, 6/4/05 and 6/15/05 updates).

Marisa Tomei
(1, 2, 3)

No nudity, but Tomei does show a little cleavage and looks quite yummy wearing only a bra and panties in scenes from the comedy, "Slums of Beverly Hills" (1998).

Nicole Kidman Kidman briefly baring a breast during a dark love scene from last year's semi-controversial movie "Birth".

Muriel Baumeister
(1, 2, 3)

Starbase 'caps of the Austrian actress going topless in 3 movies. #1 features scenes from "Alles nur Tarnung" (1996). In #2 we see her in a love scene from "Berlin - Moskau" (1997). Finally, in #3 she's gettin' it on in scenes from "Die Frau, die einen Mörder liebte" (2000).

Laura Harring
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Vejiita 'caps of the "Mulholland Dr." star and former Miss USA showing a bunch of lingerie cleavage in scenes from "The Poet" (2003).

Anne Heche
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 1, 10)

The woman may be a complete loon, but there is simply no denying that she has looks fabulous topless! Thanks to the Skin-man for these 'caps from the Euro-version of the offbeat romantic comedy, "Pie in the Sky" (1996).

Pat Reeder
Pat's comments in yellow...

She's His Cell-Mate - Neuroscientists from Caltech and UCLA discovered that people may be genetically hard-wired to recognize celebrities. While studying an epileptic's brain, they found one neuron that only fired when the subject saw a photo of Jennifer Aniston. It didn't fire for Julia Roberts, or even for a photo of Aniston with Brad Pitt: only for Aniston alone. They jokingly named it "the Jennifer Aniston brain cell." In another subject, they located a neuron that only fired when he saw a photo of Halle Berry. They say this may explain how paparazzi can spot stars in crowds even when they're hiding behind sunglasses and hats.

  • Maybe because it's a $10,000 hat and $5,000 sunglasses.
  • The one person who doesn't have a brain cell that fires for Jennifer Aniston: Brad Pitt.
  • In a normal man, every brain cell switches off when he sees Halle Berry.

    Girl Bonding - Four teenage schoolgirls from Arbroath High School in Scotland won top prize in an investment contest by picking stocks that gained 30 percent over eight months, during a time when highly-paid fund managers were lucky to make 11 percent.

  • But they didn't have the girls' secret weapon: a Hello Kitty dartboard.
  • I'd suggest they switch jobs, but I wouldn't trust fund managers to babysit.

    Nanny: 911! - Manhattan nanny, cook and housekeeper Lucyna Turyk-Wawrynowicz, who worked for such rich and famous clients as Robert De Niro and Candice Bergen and who had impeccable references, was charged with stealing an array of expensive items from her employers. Police say she took home such goodies as a $1,000 suede jacket, a pair of $1,000 shoes, and De Niro's wife's $95,000 diamond earrings. She also allegedly used one client's credit card at the upscale Barney's department store 16 times, and when confronted, replied, "I did not think you would notice."

  • De Niro noticed because his wife's Barney's bill was smaller than usual.
  • Some of them didn't even notice when she stole their children.
  • Her dream client: Paris Hilton.
  • She's pleading insanity: she thought she was Karen's maid Rosario on "Will & Grace."

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