"Sexy Nights of the Living Dead"

Sexy Nights of the Living Dead (1980), according to the DVD box, is called Erotic Nights of the Living Dead, which is a direct translation of the original Italian title, Le Notti erotiche dei morti viventi. IMDb lists several AKAs for this film, none of them including the word Sexy. However, both the title screen, and the original English language trailer for the film call it Sexy Nights of the Living Dead. The DVD cover also claims that it stars Laura Gemser, however, Dirce Funari is the female lead, and Gemser plays a major supporting role but with limited screen time.

This is a strange animal from Joe D'Amato. I can't tell if it is a hard core film with enough zombie footage to escape some censorship laws somewhere, or a zombie film with hard core footage added to increase sales in an era where people were demanding more than just topless nudity. The film opens in a mental institution, where we see an inmate sneak off and have sex with a nurse (Unknown1). The rest of the film explains how he was driven insane. He runs a charter sailboat in some unnamed tropical island country. An American has secured a 99 year lease on another island to build a resort, and hires him to take him there for a survey. The island is supposed to be uninhabited, but the local stink is that it is an evil place. This is the hard core phase of the movie. We see the businessman having sex with two hookers (Unknowns 2 & 3), included oral, penetration and a money shot. The girls leave when he invites them to go to the island with him without even collecting their money. The woman in the room next door sees him naked and erect in the hallway, and does him. Meanwile, the captain is doing the wife (Lucia Ramirez) of his previous customer on the boat while hubby loses his ass in a casino. (Talk about getting fucked over ...) The captain then visits a friend (Unknown 5) who owns an erotic club and puts on a special show for him (more about that later), while the American does yet another woman, Dirce Funari, who decides to join them on the cruise. Dirce is at least topless, and frequently completely naked for most of the rest of the film.

Turns out the island is not exactly uninhabited. An old man lives there with his grand daughter (Laura Gemser) who spends a lot of the time as a black cat. Of course, the island is full of zombies. During the trip, ad the first few days at the island, we enter a soft core phase, where Derce does the American, the captain, and Gemser. This ushers in the zombie phase, when Gemser decides the businessman is an asshole, and does him in (more about that later) turning him into a zombie.

Unknowns 2 and 3 have close-up gyno shots along with showing everything else. This is typical hard core footage.
Unknown 1 shows buns and one breast.
Unknown 4 shows everything, as does unknown 5.
Gemser shows everything, including a rear gynocam shot.
Funari shows all three Bs, nearly constantly.
Lucia Ramirez shows everything.
Both men show their pride and joy, sometimes at full attention.

Lets start with the good things:

1) The transfer is outstanding
2) The DVD has nearly 30 minutes of deleted footage
3) There is a lot of sex and nudity
4) They actually mention the fact that their only advantage over an infinite number of zombies in that zombies move at a snail's pace.
5) The stage act is truly unique. The woman squats over a magnum of champagne, inserts it, and rides it until the cork pops. NOTE: Don't try this at home. The escaping air would likely cause a fatal air embolism, and at best, the cork would be very painful.

Now for the negatives:

1) The editing is really rough.
2) The sex scenes really have nothing to do with the zombie plot.
3) The story is weak.
4) The dubbing is typically poor.
5) It is overly long at 104 minutes, with three very different kinds of content.
6) We don't have nearly enough of Gemser footage.

70 IMDb readers have this at 4.6 of 10, which is somewhat higher than I expected. Hard core fans will hate all but the first half hour, zombie fans have to wait for the last 20 minutes, and most soft core fans won't think the soft core section is good enough to put up with graphic hard core and slow motion zombies. This is easily the raunchiest Eurotrash zombie film I have seen. From my viewpoint, it is mainly of interest to those who, like me, are fascinated by the 50s through 80s history of erotica, but sure to disappoint others. It doesn't matter if you call the genre horror, hard core adult, or softcore, it is a D+, as most of the film will not please any of the three audiences.

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  • Dirce Funari (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50)
  • Laura Gemser (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Lucia Ramirez (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Unknown #1 (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknowns #2 and #3 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
  • Unknown #4 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Unknown #5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)


    Exposé (1997) is an ultra soft core erotic thriller. A senator's daughter, and her two High School friends, discover that the rich and powerful men they rub elbows with are very susceptible to seduction and blackmail. Firs the senator's daughter, Tracy Tutor, is propositioned by a political aide at a campaign party. He thought she was a hooker. To hide his mistake from the senator, he gives her a sports car. Since it was this easy, Daneen Boone and Libby George want to play too. It all goes wrong when they blackmail the wrong man, who turns the tables on them.

    From there on, it becomes a thriller, with everyone double crossing everyone. Boone shows her breasts, Tutor and George show everything. IMDb readers have this at 3.0 and with only 8 votes. It never had a theatrical release, but went straight to video here and in Germany. The girls aren't bad actresses, although the dialogue is pretty corny, and they are almost believable as High School girls. This is a D+. If you like the genre and young looking women, you might find something to like.

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  • Daneen Boone (1, 2)
  • Libby George (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Tracy Tutor (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Emmanuelle Beart update:

    notes on the pictures from two days ago:

    Hello Scoopy !
    Perhaps you and the other Fun House readers might be interested in what I've found on those two pics of a youthful Emmanuelle Béart. I think I've tracked down the origin of the pictures. Apparently they were posted on June 12 on a French Celeb Forum by a certain BBSNX. I'll translate his accompanying words into English: "Here she is very cute and very young in 'Un amour interdit (1984). The caps aren't mine.'
    You can check it out at this link:
    According to IMDb Em was around 18-19 years old at the time, so it should be all legit to look at these pics. As for the David Hamilton film starring Miss Béart "Premiers Désirs", it came out on DVD just a couple of weeks ago in France and is available from
    Keep up the good work and all my best wishes to you and the rest of the gang.
    Yours faithfully,

    I'd be more comfortable if the guy who did the caps had also posted them, but that's the best info we have so far.


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Click on the files as you normally would to play them. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    • One of her lesser known roles in "Floating Away", a 1998 John Badham film which has never made it to Region 1 DVD.  (.avi - zip) (.wmv - zip)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • "Sex and the City" star Kim Cattrall looking fantastic topless in scenes from the 1988 movie "Masquerade".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Uncle Scoopy is famous for his First Law of Cinema Vampires. Put in layman's terms, that law says no vampire movie since Dracula is any damn good. Only exception I know of is the movie about the making of the first vampire movie, but that doesn't count so The Law is still The Law.

    We could extend The Law and make it the First Law of the Undead, which states that no movie except the originals that deal with dead things coming back to life is any damn good. Mummies and zombies join vampires in the grand trifecta.

    There is a fourth category of undead that I propose fits nicely within the First Law of the Undead. It would cover real people who you think are dead but really aren't. Hitchcock did the original in Vertigo and ever since everyone and his cousin has taken a whack at that plot device. Everyone and his cousin has failed. Close with Body Heat, but close does not count either.

    Someone by the name of Leo Damian attempted to use the not-really-dead undead device in Hard Drive (1994). Guy gets on the web with his brand new 286 (this would be right after Al invented the web) and chats with a dudette who has kinky sex fantasies about guns and shit. Meets her, shoots her accidentally whilst a-boffing her, gets blackmailed, loses his long-suffering wife, so on and so forth. But nothing is as it seems and ya know what? I didn't give a rat's ass because I knew who was doing what and why and to whom and when and where and how. Big yawn. Real big mofo-ing yawn.

    But you got your nekkid babes. Six of them.

    Angela Davis. No, not the 60's black radical, but a redhead, one-timer. IMDb says this is the name used by Melanie Moore in Hard Drive, but they are just wrong. Mistakes happen, ya know. Angela plays the imagined playmate of our protagonist as he chats with his as-yet unseen and still very much alive web friend. She shows hooters only.

    • Angela Davis (1, 2)

    Belinda Waymouth, cute little blonde who has been in a dozen or so movies and a couple dozen tv shows, gives up three frames of hooties in a shower scene. She plays the wife of our websurfing protagonist but she is not getting all scrubby with her hubby, if'n you see where I am going. This seems to be the one time Belinda has shown some goodies.

    Christina Fulton, who goes by Kristina in this magnificent achievement in cinema. A triple-B performance by this lovely woman in two sport-humping scenes with the webdude. Christina has also given up goodies in The Doors and in a couple of Red Shoe Diaries episodes. Seems she has mated with Nic Cage and together they have produced offspring.

    • Christina Fulton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Deanne Power plays another figment of the online Romeo's figment of imagination. Deanne is a frequent visitor to Naked Movie Land and has explored every way possible to spell "Deanne." There is D'Ann, De Ann, De'Ann and DeAnn... and once she made berself into Powers instead of Power. Here shows off her chest in a burning-candles-while-humping scene.

    Jane Damian is a one-timer with a, well uh a, uh... really nice rack. Gal plays in a dominatrix and the only reason all this is worth noting is she was the associate producer of the movie (her hubbie, Leo, wrote it. 'Least I think it was her hubbie. Name's Leo Damian and let's face it, Damian is not exactly so common as Smith or Jones as a last name). IMDb says she's been in one other movie and the wonder is that second effort makes this one seem like Oscar winning material. The movie was the Bo Derek travesty, Ghosts Can't Do It.

    Melanie Moore, scrawny and amazing pale, plays the last of the imagined virtual lovers. Melanie may not be a name bandied about your household but she has been in over 100 film projects... with titles that suggest she did the kinds of things on-camera that can make a gal real popular.

    So that's it. If you do as the bumper sticker proposes and read Playboy for the articles and watch porn for the music, you will grab Hard Drive and look at it for the plot, the pacing and for the acting. Otherwise, you'll scope it out for the nekkid babes and leave the viewing a much bappier man.

    Crimson Ghost
    Today we have Part 3 of The Ghost's coverage of the Skinemax flick "Fast Lane to Vegas" (2000)!

    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    First up, softcore and adult film star Tracy Ryan aka Avalon baring all and gettin' it on. Image link #5 has a great a up close gyno-view.

    Next up, Renee Rea shows all 3 B's. By the way both Renee Rea and Tracy Ryan co-starred in "Fast Lane to Malibu" (2000). Personally, I'm still hoping they'll make 'Fast Lane to Boise'.

    And of course...Tracy Ryan and Renne Rea baring all as they share a dude for a 3-way.

    Some odds n' ends from two movies not currently available on DVD.
    • Asia Argento, blurry toplessness and rear views while Asia plays a stripper in the lo-budget Dennis Hopper movie, "The Keeper" (2003).

    • Tiana Johnson and Trinita Turner both showing breasts in scenes from the indie, "The Naked Truth" (2003).

    'Caps and comments by Meaulnes:

    Zienia Merton is probably best known Internationally for her role as Sandra Benes in Gerry Anderson's cult 1970's Sci-Fi series Space 1999. Her IMDB entry lists a long career however, dating back to 1962's "Masters of Venus" and right through to a 2003 episode of the popular British TV shows EastEnders.

    Her only revealing exposure (as far as I know) comes from the BBC's "Casanova" in 1971. With a screenplay by Dennis Potter, it caused a storm when first shown in the UK. It was never released on VHS, and had only limited showings in the US.

    • Zienia Merton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Paris Hilton

    DeadLamb 'caps of a very tan Paris looking great in a bikini on "The Simple Life 2".

    Jolene Blalock
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the "Enterprise" babe in scenes from something called "Diamond Hunters". The first 3 are obviously her showing some cleavage and in her undies. In links 4-8 we see some very dark breast exposure but the face is very caredully hidden and probably a body double.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Not Very Rapid - A Northwest Airlines flight to Rapid City, South Dakota, landed a few miles off course at Ellsworth Air Force Base. The passengers were ordered to close their window shades and not look out, and the pilot came on the intercom, hemmed and hawed, and finally said they'd landed at an Air Force base, "and now we are going to figure out how we're going to get from here to there." Passengers waited for three hours while military authorities interrogated the crew, then were finally flown to Rapid City. No explanation has been given, but it's suspected the pilot just got confused and landed on the wrong runway.

  • But he has a good excuse: he was drunk.
  • The Air Force can't even figure out why anybody would want to fly to Rapid City, South Dakota.
  • At least they were ordered not to look out the windows, so our military security system worked!

    Sucker Punch - David Bowie escaped serious injury at a concert Friday in Norway when some fan tossed a lollipop that stuck in his eye. But he pulled the stick out of his eye and continued, saying he had only one good eye due to a childhood injury, and "lucky you hit the bad one."

  • He would've tossed it back, but he has no depth perception.
  • It was the Lolly-palooza concert tour.
  • This story begs the question: "Just how OLD are David Bowie's fans?!"

    Again, Too Much Coffee - Steven L. Knickerbocker of Peoria, Illinois, stole a Lester's Tasty Donuts van and led police on a slow speed chase all the way to Canton. Police kept laying down tack strips that blew out one tire after another until he was down to one tire, but just kept driving. He could no longer turn, so he tried to run, but cops chased him down. He's facing a range of charges, from reckless driving and DUI to using unsafe tires. A police spokesman said the van was unmarked, but if they'd known it was a donut truck, they never would've let it get out of town.

  • They would've just shot the driver and impounded the truck.
  • He's also been charged with "endangering donuts."
  • They saw the trail of white powder, assumed it was just cocaine, and didn't take the crime that seriously.