Pretty Models All in a Row

(1969)

A special project.

It started with an Ed Wood movie sometimes called The Photographer, sometimes called Love Feast and usually called Pretty Models All in a Row.  Now, I have seen Plan 9 and a few other things Wood wrote and directed and so I thought I knew what bad was, when it came to movie making, but I was wrong.  Pretty Models is the worst movie you can imagine that is populated by nekkid women.  Of its 70-minute running time a good half is an orgy scene (as one might conceive of such when one was barely post-pubescent) on a very large bed.  There's some tepid groping and some light lesbotronics but the thing goes on and on, and is interrupted by some lunacy elsewhere. only to have it return to the same old thing and ... my heavens I zipped through it at 8X speed.  And the dialogue?  Well, it is summed up wonderfully in this one scene between Ed Wood, who plays a photographer with a cheap trick for getting attractive women to visit him, and Heather Starr; she has yet to say anything to him before he asks her if she is trying to psychoanalyze him.  All she'd done is peel off some clothing.  A bit later she does ask him how he likes his foreplay and then the line is appropriate, so he repeats it.  Let us summarize: Ed, as an actor, forgot his lines and when to say them, remembered the lines when prompted by his acting partner and, as director, neglected to stop the proceedings and try again on a second take.  He was just that special.

Anyway, lots of attractive women and with IMDb's help I was able to put name to face-and-body for six of them:

Lynn Harris begins and ends the whole thing as the body-painted credits girl.

Casey Larraine is the first woman to appear at the photographer's house and she gets the most exposure, which included more than a glance at her holiest of holies.

Mia Coco and Neola Graef appear together with two other unknown women as a vigilante group that gets revenge on the photographer by forcing him to wear women's clothing (Mia is the only woman in this movie to go topless rather than go full monty).  The cross-dressing was Ed Wood's thing so he just wrote it into the movie although it makes no fucking sense at all.

Mia



Neola

Heather Starr, with a major over-bite, and a tiny cute gal name Cynthia Denny join the orgy at various times in its progress. Heather thought the camera man was her gynecologist and so we see all sorts of views of her privates.

Heather



Cynthia

Several women go unrecognized - one is called Ellen and the other Maryann (or some such name).  The one who plays Ellen has a most impressive frame. 

Ellen



Maryann

So, okay - that's the first half of the project, but it was only the beginning.

---

The second half started with the identification of an actress credited in IMDb as Linda Colpin.  Zon did a couple of collages from this movie more than a decade ago and he identified an actress as Linda Coplin (sic).

Problem is this: the actress he captured is called Linda in the movie and IMDb says Linda is played by Casey Larrain.  So I looked for other images of Casey and found some collages by Hankster from the Godson with her name them, but that actress is clearly Neola Graef (aka Joyce Adams).

That means Zon had Casey being Linda and Hankster had Neola being Casey.  Oi vay.  I edited and renamed the Hankster collages, but then I went looking for other things Neola did and found she was in Pleasures of a Woman, The Notorious Cleopatra and Street of a Thousand Pleasures.  Fine - I could grab them and capture some frames but it was not necessary because Tuna (good old Tuna, who is so dearly missed) had done them years ago; and as was his very admirable habit, he posted frames of even those women he could not identify.  Oz does the same thing and that means in the Funhouse archives were collages of her from all three movies; with Neola's body and facial features there is no mistaking her. 

Neola in Pleasures of a Woman



Neola in The Notorious Cleopatra



Neola in Street of a Thousand Pleasures



Neola was also in something called Dirty Pool

At that point I was on a roll and had gone through some 35 frames of Street of a Thousand Pleasures to find the ones with Neola and I ran into a couple with Casey Larrain



and two with Uschi Digard



and, because of the stuff I'd done with Pretty Models I recognized Mia Coco.



Five others were easy to identify thanks to IMDb; they include some veteran 70's nudie stars such as:

Kathy Williams,



Antoinette Maynard



Delana Bissonette



Shari Mann



and the most attractive of them all, Adele Rein.

This particular Adele was also an active nude model who posed as Vicky James or Vicki Doyle - some scans done by other folks are in the mix.

Modern Man, v15n9, March, 1966



Topper, Feb, 1965



Debonair, Dec, 1966, v3n13



All Man, v8n6, Feb, 1968

And that point I declared victory and called a halt to the proceedings.

Funny thing: looking for Linda Colpin started me on the second half of the adventure and I still have no clue which of several women in Pretty Models she is.  My guess it is the buxom gal who played Ellen, but it is only a guess.